Ethan
ETHAN
As he stood before the assembled group of men his brother worked with, remembered he was not very good with group interactions. He certainly hadn’t expected the entire station to be lined up waiting as Keith led him forward. His eyes darted over the group, trying not to appear nervous. He felt drawn to a man at the back, peering around someone’s shoulder.
Before he could do more than glance, Keith pointed. “That’s Davis. Who you know.”
Of course he did. Davis was his brother’s best friend and favorite co-worker. Besides Chief Irons, who he assumed was the burly, grumpy-looking man to the far right, Davis was the one he knew most about. Hell, he’d seen Davis before, though it was only in pictures and a few video calls he’d had with his brother.
“Good to see you again, ,” Davis said, beaming at him. “Hope you’re doing alright.”
“I’m alright,” said. “Didn’t get blown up completely, so alright.”
Davis laughed at that. “Fair enough. I guess you boys got different standards out in the desert.”
“Probably not much different than the ones you’ve got dealing with fires,” said with a shrug.
Keith’s voice grew more guarded as he motioned to the next two. “And that’s Cade and Elias. The guy who looks part giant is Elias, and the one with the smartass grin is Cade.”
The man called Cade, who thought looked like a model and not a firefighter, grinned wickedly. “Why fuck you too, Keith. Also, hi, , I hope you’re less of an ass than your brother so I can have hope for your future children.”
The larger man, Elias, groaned. “Welcome to Station 231, . As you can see, we’re all a bunch of children here.”
couldn’t help his laugh. “I don’t know. If you guys are the ones watching my brother’s back, I think I might understand why he’s so cranky.”
“Because he’s an ass?” Cade asked.
“Something like that,” said, winking at his brother.
“Bit of the pot calling the kettle black,” Elias muttered, though loud enough for to hear as he glanced down at Cade.
The two men shared a look and in a moment of understanding, realized these must be the two his brother had mentioned. Although they weren’t hanging off one another and being obvious, they had a strong thread of affection. Cade might have been smirking like some devilish imp, and Elias looked exasperated, but there was no denying the warmth in their eyes as they looked at one another. It seemed to come easily, without effort, that immediately felt a green flush of envy wash through him.
“And that’s Chief Irons,” Keith said, gesturing to the beefy man to the right.
“Afternoon, son,” he said.
Almost immediately, felt his back straighten as he caught the older man’s gaze. There was an almost palpable aura of authority wrapped around the man so tightly it could have been armor.
nodded sharply. “Sir, thank you for having me.”
Cade cleared his throat. “Forgetting someone?”
Keith shot him a dirty look. “No. The other guy between Cade and Chief Irons is Matt. He’s just...hiding.”
“I’m not hiding. Cade just won’t move,” came a soft but wry voice.
“Are you calling me fat?” Cade demanded.
“You said it, not me,” the voice belonging to Matt protested, finally pushing into view.
immediately recognized why he’d been drawn to identifying the man at a glance. He was smaller than the rest, though based on the musculature could see from his short sleeves and shorts, he was no slouch. A mop of dark hair fell over his brow and into his eyes, which caught the sunlight streaming into the garage bay and shone with a brilliant green light.
“Hi, I’m Matt,” the man said, smiling.
“Hey, Matt,” said, unsure what he could say other than that.
Matt glanced between him and Keith. “Can’t say I know much about you but welcome to Station 231. If you’re family with Keith, you’re already part of us, whether you want to be or not.”
was hard-pressed to pull his eyes away from the man and glance at Keith. His brother was frowning at Matt, though there didn’t seem to be any animosity. In fact, he would swear Keith was more confused than anything.
“I appreciate it,” said hastily when he realized his brother was keeping his silence. “It’s kind of nice to meet the guys who have my brother’s back.”
There were the expected sounds of agreement and a few, probably polite, words. However, found himself watching the man who had been introduced as Matt slowly but inevitably slipping from the group as they came forward to shake his hand.
He remembered his brother telling him there was one other member of his station who was gay. Since it was so obvious Cade and Elias were an item, and knew Davis wasn’t and assumed Chief Irons wasn’t, that left only one option. Before the group surrounded him, however, realized that even knowing his brother would never acknowledge it, the remaining member of the fire station crew was by far the cutest.
Yet he was drawn into conversation as all but Matt descended upon him and started chattering. With his brother beaming at his side, could do little more than talk to the other men, both happy for their welcome and a little distracted. Yet even with the conversation, he noticed how Matt slipped away down a nearby hallway without the slightest fanfare.
* * *
He was eventually given a tour, though there wasn’t exactly a lot of the station to see. The main bay was where the trucks and equipment were kept and maintained. Next was the hallway, with the first door to the left leading to the most disastrously organized office he’d ever seen, hastily labeled as Chief Irons’s office before the tour continued.
Next came what instantly thought of as The Mess. It was a combined dining room and kitchen equipped with tables, counters, and a few odds and ends for cooking, including a stove and refrigerator. After that came the last doors, the right leading to what he thought of as the Barracks, a place for them to rest their heads and sleep on long shifts, and to the left, a locker room with showers.
“Nothing fancy,” Keith told him hastily once they were done.
couldn’t help but laugh. “A lot fancier than some places I had to camp.”
“And a lot less fancy than someone was used to,” Davis said, grinning at Cade.
Cade looked unimpressed. “If you’ll recall, I was never fancy and I threw all that bullshit out the window a long time ago.”
Davis shot a smirk. “He means he was a fancy rich boy once upon a time. But he stopped dealing with any of it because of the power of love.”
Elias smiled gently. “Well, and his mother is a raving bitch.”
“She is,” Cade agreed.
“There’s a story I’m missing here,” said, glancing between the assembled men.
Cade wrinkled his nose. “Nothing worth hearing. Davis is just being a jackass. Which is par for the course.”
Chief Irons appeared in his office doorway. “Alright, you guys have made nice. You know what you’re supposed to be doing. Get to it.”
The men let out a collective sigh and, with some grumbling under their breaths, broke away to go to whatever their assigned tasks were. The sight made smile fondly, making him miss the days when he was much the same.
He turned to Keith. “So, what is the story?”
His brother looked uncomfortable, avoiding ’s eyes. “Elias and Cade used to be just friends. Cade comes from like, one of the richest families in the city, and Elias comes from a family who are dirt poor. Cade’s mom always hated Cade’s life, his job, his friends, everything. When...whatever happened between him and Elias to change everything happened, I guess she lost her shit over her son being with a man and tried to force him to stop, putting her foot down. From what I heard, Cade told her to shove it up her ass and is still here.”
gazed at his brother. “Sounds like you admire him.”
Keith flushed. “I’m not...I don’t like what he’s doing, but it’s hard not to give the guy credit. He had a life all set up for him, wouldn’t have to worry about shit, but he stays here, doing what he loves.”
“And being with Elias?” asked, unable to help his curiosity.
Keith turned even redder. “Not my fucking business, I guess, even if I...whatever, like I said, hard not to give credit. He told her to fuck off because of what he thought was best and...I should go see if Davis needs some help. You good?”
smirked. “You’ve got the day off.”
“What’s your point?”
“I think I’ll be okay wandering around unless someone here bites, and I don’t know about it.”
Keith shot him a dirty look, though wasn’t sure if it was aimed at him or if he was restraining himself from commenting. Either way, shot him a grin, breathing a low sigh when he was gone. While he was perfectly happy to greet the men his brother worked with, he always found it positively exhausting to deal with too many people at once, especially new people.
“Uh, excuse me,” a soft voice piped up behind him.
whirled around. He froze when newly familiar green eyes peered up at him taking a step back.
Wincing, forced himself to relax. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Matt, right?”
The man nodded. “Looks like I was the one who scared you more.”
chuckled nervously. “Ah, right. I guess I’m still getting used to...things.”
Matt cocked his head. “Things?”
“Uh, yeah. I guess Keith didn’t say anything to you guys?”
The corner of Matt’s lip twitched. “Keith doesn’t tell me much.”
“Ah,” felt his face grow warm. “Right. Well, I’m a Marine or was. Not in the Corps anymore.”
Matt nodded. “Right, your comment about getting blown up.”
“Not getting blown up completely,” corrected with a grin.
Matt looked him over, leaving feeling even more exposed than being presented in front of the whole station. “It’s good that you’re in one piece. I’m sorry you can’t serve anymore.”
It was ’s turn to cock his head. “Why are you sorry?”
“Because you looked a little sad when you said it. Clearly, it meant a lot to you.”
It was said so simply, but felt his stomach clench. It had been everything to him. He’d been dedicated to serving in the one place where he felt he genuinely belonged. Keith was his brother, his family, but the Corps had been his home, and now he had no idea where he belonged.
“And I’ve made it worse,” Matt said softly.
shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s all kind of new to me, is all. Not used to anything yet and finding my...civilian legs, I guess.”
Matt smiled, and the clench in ’s stomach had nothing to do with pain. There was a sweetness in this man, one had only had a glimpse of, but he would swear there was just a touch of mischief in those bright eyes. wondered what it would take to hear the man laugh and if it would be as good to hear as the smile was to see.
“I guess when you’ve lived one way for so long, it gets a little tricky to change everything you once knew completely,” Matt said, nodding as if understanding.
“Sounds a little fancy for a jarhead like me,” told him.
“I think you’re smarter than that.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.”
Matt opened his mouth, froze, and then his expression completely changed. The brightness of his eyes turned to neutral, mouth snapping shut and becoming an unmoving line. All at once, the man’s warmth disappeared, replaced not by coldness but by a stone wall.
“Howell,” Keith grunted from behind him. “You lost?”
“Just getting to the mess to start dinner. It’s my turn,” Matt said, voice perfectly pleasant but no longer soft.
“Get out of the guy’s way, ,” Keith grunted.
“I’ll talk to you later, Matt,” said, stepping out of the way.
Matt flashed him a quick smile as he stepped around them. “Just like the others said, you’re always welcome here.”
When Matt was out of sight, Keith turned to him. “What did he want?”
“To talk,” said, not bothering to hide his annoyance. “You know, like you wanted me to do. Like you wanted them to do.”
Keith opened his mouth, hesitated, and then shrugged. “Yeah, sure, whatever, man.”
Once again, Keith made no comment, not about Matt. Something had obviously changed in the couple of years since he’d last seen his brother, but didn’t know what. His mind wasn’t changed, but there was a difference in his behavior, so that was an improvement. At least that way he didn’t have to deal with trying to find ways to change the subject whenever things got uncomfortable.
“Chief says you can stop by whenever you want. Can’t get underfoot when shit’s going on, but you can chill,” Keith informed him.
“Oh. Well, that’s nice of him,” said.
Keith shrugged. “He’s a mean ass son of a bitch sometimes, but he’s nicer than he lets on. Just don’t let him hear you say that.”
“I can hear you from in here,” Chief Irons barked from his office door.
“And that’s our cue to get the hell out of here,” Keith said hastily, making his way quickly to the garage.
wanted to follow Matt into the Mess and talk to him some more. The immediate shift of personality that came over Matt when Keith showed up sat in ’s stomach like acid. It was probably foolish to bother trying to make a connection with Matt, especially when the man so clearly did not like Keith. He couldn’t forget that he had nothing to offer anyone and shouldn’t be tempted by a pretty face and bright green eyes.
Yet when he followed Keith, it was, in fact, those green eyes he was thinking of and the curve of Matt’s soft smile.