Ethan
ETHAN
After eating, including the parfait that lived up to Matt’s rave reviews, they decided to take a walk on the beach. would have been perfectly content to lay on the beach and let his full stomach carry him into a lull. Yet Matt, who had eaten a far richer dish than , seemed eager to walk.
“You never did tell me what was in that parfait,” said as the next wave washed over their bare feet.
“I’ve never asked,” Matt admitted. “Ricardo likes to play with dishes and uses regulars like me to test them out. I know there’s chunks of passion fruit, pomegranate juice in the yogurt, and a few other things. Honestly, all I know is that it was good when he gave it to me and he’s stuck with the recipe ever since.”
“I guess that’s all that matters,” said.
He watched the water wash over his feet, washing away the grit of the sand from his last few steps. It had been a while since he’d last enjoyed the sensation of sand. The water was cool but warm enough to wade in without fuss. The sun had already begun its descent behind the horizon, lighting the ocean on fire with brilliant orange and red.
“So, I picked well then?” Matt asked.
laughed. “That you did. I can see why you use it to impress a date.”
Matt chuckled, kicking at the next wave. “I know it seems like I always bring people there, but I don’t.”
frowned. “I wasn’t trying to make you seem like?—”
“What, a whore?” Matt asked with an impish grin.
groaned. “That either.”
Matt laughed. “Don’t worry, I didn’t take it like that. It’s a special place for me. I know you’ve been feeling out of sorts, disconnected. And I thought maybe a place that feels special, treats you special, might be good for you.”
glanced at him. “Why’s that?”
Matt shrugged. “Because when you’re struggling to find your place in a new world, it’s important to find places that mean something, that make you feel something. If Port Dale is going to be your new home, then it’s important you find places that mean something, right?”
hummed. “It’s been years since I had anywhere to call home. I was stationed places, but I always knew I wouldn’t stay there forever. This is the first time I’ve actually had to look at my life and realize that I might end up staying somewhere for more than a few months.”
“Which makes it all the more important to build memories,” Matt said, bending down to dig in the sand.
“Is that what you’ve done here?” asked.
Matt pulled a shell from the grit, washing it off in the next wave. “I’ve always lived here. Hell, I’ve lived in the same house most of my life. I was on my own for a few years before my parents’ accident. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that memories are important. Sometimes they hurt, sometimes they help, but memories can be all you have at the end of the day.”
had his fair share of hurt and help in his life. Sometimes, he remembered how it had been growing up with his parents. A mother who barely seemed to exist, and a father who...well, he was happier drinking and lashing out at the people around him. Yet there was Keith, for all his flaws, who had defended and cared for him as they grew up.
“I think I know what you mean,” said.
Matt smiled, turning the shell around in his hand to examine it. “Memories are important. They define where we’ve been.”
“But they don’t have to say what you should do in the future,” said quickly.
Matt turned his smile on . “No, they don’t.”
watched Matt as the man gave the shell one final look before slipping it into his pocket. He was struck by the sudden impulse to reach out and pull him close. had never kissed anyone while strolling on the beach, but he’d bet it would be worth remembering, especially if it was Matt.
Instead, he compromised by taking Matt’s hand. “So, what did you think when you first saw me?”
Matt looked down at their joined hands, curling his fingers into ’s grip. “I thought you were big.”
laughed. “That it?”
“I thought you were handsome and a little nervous,” Matt admitted as they resumed walking, now hand in hand.
“Was I that obvious?”
“No. It was just a feeling. And I thought it was a shame I didn’t know more about you. Keith nearly split his face with his grin when he introduced you to us.”
“Did he?”
Matt nodded. “He clearly loves you. It was kind of nice to see that side of him. I don’t get to see many sides of him.”
snorted, shaking his head. “How do you do that?”
Matt frowned up at him. “Do what?”
“I know you haven’t told me much about what he’s said or done to you, but I know how Keith feels about the whole gay thing. I know you’ve probably had to put up with bullshit from him, which I’m sorry about,” added hastily.
Matt shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re not responsible for someone else’s behavior.”
True, but felt a twist of guilt all the same. Maybe if he’d found the courage to confront his brother a long time ago, he might have prevented a lot of bullshit. Maybe it would have been enough for Keith to know that the person he’d spent so many years protecting and raising was just one more of those people he despised.
sighed. “And you still don’t hold it against him. You should hate him.”
“Eh, he’s not my favorite person in the world,” Matt admitted. “And it certainly adds an interesting dynamic if things between you and I keep going as well as they have.”
hesitated, incredibly and suddenly pleased by the offhand compliment. “I don’t know exactly why he’s like that...or, I guess, I don’t know for sure.”
“But you suspect,” Matt said easily, no judgment or curiosity in his voice.
“I do,” said slowly.
And despite feeling like he owed Matt at least some explanation, found himself pulling away from the topic. They had already dug up the past enough for one day. Going back to his childhood to dredge up old wounds, even if they bled into the present, felt like a massive weight bearing down on his shoulders.
“Sometimes memories hurt,” Matt said softly, squeezing ’s fingers.
shook his head. “And sometimes they’re a bit much.”
“They can be, yeah. Don’t worry, . I don’t want to hear it unless you want to talk about it. Talk about something else,” Matt suggested.
“Uh, alright. Here’s a really good question. How the hell are you still single?” asked.
Matt bumped his shoulder as he laughed. “I don’t know how to answer that.”
“Well, we’ve already established you’re a sweet guy,” pointed out, earning a blush on Matt’s face. “And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you are pretty good-looking.”
“Pretty good is...pretty good,” Matt said slowly, face growing pinker.
eyed him, unable to help his gaze as it swept over Matt. “Okay, well, maybe I was lying a bit. You’re a lot better than pretty good-looking.”
Matt caught his bottom lip between his teeth before looking away. “Last time I dated someone was a couple of years ago.”
“Oh?” asked, intrigued and slightly annoyed at himself for asking about other people.
Matt shrugged. “It was good while it lasted, but it wasn’t meant to last, I guess. Green pastures awaited.”
frowned. “What were the greener pastures?”
Matt snickered. “According to him, just about anyone else’s bed.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Couldn’t keep it in his pants.”
“And you find it funny?”
“Eh, if you look at things in the right light, anything can be funny. I’m not mad at him if that’s what you’re asking. I mean, we’re not friends, even I’m not that understanding. But I imagine it had to be difficult being with someone like me.”
stopped, turning to face Matt. “And what’s so wrong with you that someone would have the right to cheat?”
Matt peered up at him, frowning thoughtfully. “I said it wrong, then. There’s no excuse for cheating, or none that can make it right. But between trying to take care of my dad and my job, I don’t always have a lot of time. I’m sure he felt lonely at times.”
snorted. “You’re right, that’s not an excuse.”
“Mm, no, and I told him that when he tried to push the blame on me.”
“He tried to blame you?” couldn’t keep the outrage out of his voice.
Matt shrugged. “When confronted with something, people defend themselves. He was caught, and he went for just about every tool in his arsenal to keep himself as the good guy in his own story.”
“We’re all the heroes in our own story,” said, the quote bubbling up from the back of his mind.
“Exactly. So what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Oh, c’mon,” Matt laughed. “You’re a good-looking guy, enough to turn heads.”
“Including yours?” asked with a smirk.
Matt winked. “Definitely mine. So, you’re good-looking, intelligent, and, let’s be honest, you’re tall, strong, and used to be a badass Marine. How couldn’t you have had someone waiting for you wherever you went?”
“Was that a compliment, or you telling me I should’ve been a slut?” asked.
Matt laughed. “I guess that’s payback for you doing the same to me earlier.”
“Touché,” said. “There’s no real story there. Tried to do a relationship here and there, but well, when you can be shipped off for months with little notice, it tends to put a stop to most relationships. People think they’re ready to date active duty, but they’re not. Loneliness gets to them, and some of them either split or?—”
“Find greener pastures?” Matt asked.
“Yeah. So, I might know a thing or two about having unfaithful partners.”
Matt hummed. “What about...other things?”
“Other things,” repeated, knowing full well what Matt was asking but wanting to hear him say it.
Matt laughed. “Were you celibate?”
“God no,” admitted. “I wasn’t, like, getting laid left and right. But I’m not exactly immune to wanting to get some action here and there.”
“Ah, yes. The human condition,” Matt said solemnly.
“Or I was just horny,” suggested.
Matt’s solemn facade broke beneath the weight of his grin. “There is that, yes.”
“And you? Have you been living the celibate life ever since you ended it with the douche who cheated on you?” asked.
Matt put a hand to his chest, giving a little gasp. “Why, little sweet and innocent me?”
smirked. “I said sweet. I never said anything about innocent.”
He’d met a fair number of kind and good people in his life, people who were naturally sweet and gentle. In his younger years, he’d subscribed to the idea that people like that also had to be innocent. His first boyfriend, a gentle and kind soul, had done a lot to prove to just how wrong that stereotype was. And in the years after their amicable breakup, he’d met other people who went to show that sweet and nice did not mean innocent and vanilla.
“See?” Matt said. “I did say you were intelligent.”
“Or maybe I’ve just learned a few things in my life,” suggested.
Matt stopped walking, turning to stand before and peering up at him. “Maybe you could show me a few things you learned one day.”
stared down at him, seeing that bright, warm, and mischievous light shining in Matt’s eyes. There was an invitation in those eyes that thought he’d be a fool to pass up.
“Let’s start with one thing,” said, reaching to cup Matt’s face and pulling him close.
The other man came willingly, relaxing against ’s front as their lips met. The fluttering in ’s stomach rose to a crescendo and then crashed into pure warmth as he felt Matt’s lips touch his own and heard the soft sigh of appreciation. Matt’s fingers were warm as they curled around the back of ’s neck, drawing him in even closer.
When it was over, couldn’t say how long they stood there, though he wished it could have lasted longer. The smile on Matt’s face was warm, pleased, and content as he slowly pulled back, taking his hand from the back of ’s neck and resting it in his grip once more.
“I guess that means I’ve been doing pretty good on this date, then,” finally said.
Matt chuckled, squeezing his hand. “Been a while since you’ve been on one?”
“Yeah, I’m a little rusty,” admitted.
“Well,” Matt said, turning so they could resume walking down the beach. “You’re not as rusty as you think.”
“I’d still like to get a bit more practice,” said, hastily adding, “With you.”
Matt snorted. “I thought that’s what you meant.”
“So what do you say? Do I get another date to practice on?”
Matt turned, eyes catching the light of the setting sun and glittering. “I think we might be able to swing another date or two.”
Not caring how smug he probably looked, grinned and continued walking down the shore with Matt, hand in hand. If the next date went anywhere near as well as this first one, then he might actually have something to look forward to.