Chapter 15 Ophelia #2
Here we go. This is it. I have to get through this. If I don’t, well… I don’t want to think about that.
“I want to talk to you about that,” I say, forcing the words out, the coffee bitter on my tongue, in my stomach.
His expression changes, eyes narrowing as if he somehow knows what’s coming. He raises his eyebrows and waits.
“I can’t do this. I can’t go through with it. I’m sorry.” I hurry through the words, and as soon as they’re out, I feel a little better. My heart is hammering, I’m sweating, and I’m no less nauseated, but they’re out.
“What are you talking about?”
“The engagement. The marria—”
“Yeah, I get that part, but what the fuck are you talking about?”
“We’re not in love. We’re good friends, if anything.”
“If anything? Jesus Christ.” He pushes his hands through his hair and shakes his head. “Are you fucking kidding me?
I turn around and walk into the bedroom, dropping to a seat on the bed.
I lace my fingers together nervously, telling myself to breathe.
I hate confrontation. I always have. I know it makes me a pushover but all my life, even when I was little, I remember if Dad was angry or anyone was upset with me, I would do anything to diffuse the situation.
I’d apologize for anything, agree to everything.
It’s really the trait of a coward. Look where it’s gotten me.
Ethan follows me into the bedroom. “Phee? You can’t do this.”
“I can’t marry you, Ethan.”
“Great fucking time to figure that out.”
“And you can’t marry me. It’s not what either of us want.” I pick up the ring from the nightstand and get to my feet. I hold it out to him.
“You don’t know what I want.” He pushes my hand away.
“Isn’t that a problem?” I ask.
“You’re tired, that’s all. Look at you.” He lifts my glasses off my face. “Are you getting any sleep? You look fucking exhausted.”
“I am exhausted, but it doesn’t have anything to do with this. I can’t marry you. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t love you, Ethan. Not like that. I’m sorry.”
He snorts. “This isn’t about love. It has nothing to do with love.”
“What?” I ask, taken aback. It’s not the response I expect. I was afraid I’d hurt him with those words, but that doesn’t seem to be it at all.
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Forget it. Look, you’re tired,” he says. He closes his hand around mine, the one that is holding the ring.
“No. What do you mean?”
“I mean you’ve had a lot going on. I know. I get it. That’s all this is. Just the stress of it all. And I haven’t been there for you like I should be.” He smiles and squeezes my hand, then opens it, takes the ring, and tries to push it back on my finger.
“No. Stop.” He grips my wrist hard. “Ethan, I mean it. Stop!” I push against his chest and manage to slip away only because he’s surprised by my outburst. It’s not the Phee he’s used to.
His jaw clenches, his hands fist, and he takes a step toward me.
“Phee.” He closes his eyes and forces a deep breath in.
“It’s too late,” he says, shaking his head and opening his eyes.
“My parents are expecting this. After all they’ve done, all the money.
” He gestures around the apartment. “All of it, this is how you’ll thank them? By embarrassing them?”
“Do you hear yourself?”
He looks at me like I’m stupid.
“Do you love me, Ethan?”
“Come on. Don’t be ridiculous.” He steps toward me but I back away, holding out my hands to keep distance between us.
“Do you?”
“You know I do.”
“I’m sorry, Ethan. I’m sorry. I should have had the courage to do it earlier. I shouldn’t have ever accepted the ring.”
His phone pings with a message and he digs it out of his pocket to read it. “It’s Mom. She wants to know if we’re on our way. There’s a snowstorm coming,” he says and starts to type something out.
“I think it may be better if I don’t go.”
He finishes his reply and drops the phone back in his pocket. “No. No, that won’t work. We’ll talk about it. The party’s important, you know that. And given what your father did and what it cost my father, maybe you can just be there for him once. Just once. Give him this night.”
Guilt claws at my insides.
“Just show your face, Phee, and we don’t have to announce anything at the gala.
I’ll talk to my parents. And we’ll talk, you and me.
I promise. Okay? And if you tell me you don’t want to marry me after we talk, I’ll understand.
Can you give me that, baby?” He steps closer, wraps his arms around me, and turns my face toward him. “It’s me, Phee. It’s just me.”
“The engagement is off. You understand that.”
“We’ll talk. I promise. We’ll talk.” He pushes the ring into his pocket. “Go get ready. Come on. We should head up.”
I sigh, needing to be away from him, and nod, not sure what I’m nodding to, knowing this isn’t quite over. I’m walking to the bathroom when he stops me.
“By the way, found out who bought your house.”
“You did? How and who?” I turn to ask. The buyer had overpaid by a lot and insisted on anonymity, which was weird.
“Don’t tell Dad I told you, but you know they wanted to buy it for us, right? Dad tried, at least. It would have been a wedding gift.”
“What?” I had no idea.
“I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. He just knew it was important to you. You’d said once you wanted to have your kids there, remember?”
“I didn’t realize Sly did that.”
“Well, he tried anyway. And yeah, there’s a lot you don’t know about what my dad’s done for you.”
I do see through this. I do.
“He was outbid though. You’ll never guess by whom.” Before I can even process where this is going, he continues, “Fucking Silas Cruz.”
“Silas?” I ask, stunned.
“Now that he’s made some money, I guess he wants to show it off. Hope he doesn’t plan on moving in. I don’t think my parents want him for a neighbor.”
“Why would he do that?” I ask aloud, but it’s not really a question I’m directing at Ethan.
“To fuck with us,” he answers anyway.
“Are you sure, Ethan? It makes no sense.”
He nods.
I can’t imagine why Silas would want the house, why would he ever move back to Sinistral given all the memories.
“I guess I’m not really surprised if I think about it. He’s an asshole. I swear he’s still got a thing for you. Just stay away from him tomorrow night.”
“He’ll be there?”
“Always wanted anything that was mine,” he says, coming toward me and wrapping his arms around me almost like the last few minutes didn’t happen.
He shakes his head and releases me. I’m not even sure he heard the panic in my voice just now.
“Anyway, go get ready. Mom’s on my ass about getting there so we’d better go. ”