Chapter 18 Olivia
EIGHTEEN
olivia
The soy sauce packet leaks as I peel it open, slicking my fingers. Carolyn tosses me a napkin without looking up from her fried rice, already halfway through a spring roll.
We’re on Sophie’s living room floor again—takeout containers spread across a coffee table we’ve pushed aside, our backs resting against her couch.
It feels like a rerun of some earlier version of ourselves.
Except now, the air smells faintly of sunscreen and airport perfume, and I’m the only one who didn’t spend spring break somewhere tropical.
“Cabo was chaos,” Carolyn says between bites. “One night, I seriously thought Tyler was going to get arrested.”
Sophie snorts. “He probably should have. Him and Landon were unhinged the entire week.”
I smile as I pick at my noodles. “Checks out.”
Carolyn leans back, nudging Sophie with her foot. “Tell her about the golf cart.”
“Oh my god,” Sophie groans. “Tyler tried to race one of the resort shuttles. On a golf cart. With Landon in the back, filming it like he was a war correspondent.”
They’re laughing, loud and easy. I’m laughing too, but the sound feels smaller in my mouth.
“And you?” Carolyn says, nudging me now. “Where were you while we were drinking bad tequila and getting sunburnt?”
I shrug. “Ashby. For part of it.”
“So you went back home.” Sophie confirms.
“Yeah.”
“And for the rest of the time?” She prods.
“Cape Cod,” I say. “We stayed at one of the Caldwells’ houses.”
“Plural,” Carolyn says, dramatically. “Of course.”
Sophie grins around the rim of her wine glass. “Please tell me your parents met Nathaniel. I need a full report.”
I offer a noncommittal smile. “Briefly.”
There’s a beat of silence. Carolyn glances at Sophie, who arches a brow.
“Briefly?” Sophie echoes, dragging the word out like she’s trying to read between the lines. “Was it…bad?”
I am immediately taken back to our last night there. My mother’s silence. My father’s disbelief. The terrifying calm in Nathaniel’s voice, like he was peeling their power away one syllable at a time.
“Let’s just say it was enough,” I reply, keeping my voice light. “You know how my parents are.”
They don’t press further, but they’re watching me a little more closely now.
I set my drink down. “Anyway. It was a quiet break. Peaceful.”
Carolyn watches me for a moment, something thoughtful flickering behind her expression. Then she reaches for another dumpling, her tone shifting to teasing. “So…am I allowed to ask if you’ve officially defected to the Caldwell penthouse?”
Sophie perks up. “Wait—hold on. Did you actually move in?”
I nod, a small smile tugging at my mouth. “Yeah, I did.”
Sophie lets out a gasp. “You mean you live there now? Like, full-time? In that stupidly gorgeous shrine of glass and marble?”
“I do.”
Carolyn clutches her chest in mock betrayal. “You traitor. I can’t believe we lost you to the clouds.”
I roll my eyes, but I’m still smiling.
Truthfully, I hadn’t expected Nathaniel to let me come here alone—not without some resistance, at least. But he surprised me. Just said he had to pick up something important and didn’t elaborate. No protests. No pointed glances.
Maybe moving in with him really did settle something inside him. Or maybe agreeing to let him pick me up afterward was the compromise he needed. That small reassurance that I’d still choose him at the end of the night.
“You know…” Carolyn says, biting into her dumpling. “I always thought you’d end up with Landon.”
The words are said casually, but they land like a stone in a still pond.
“What?” My hand goes still halfway to my mouth.
Carolyn shrugs. “I don’t know. You were always together. And he always looked at you like he wanted more.”
I stare at the takeout container in my lap, appetite suddenly gone.
I think of Landon in first year, knocking on my door every morning with coffee.
Of library sessions that bled into midnight.
Of how he always made space for me, always stayed a little longer than necessary.
And how I told myself it was just kindness.
That I wasn’t responsible for what he didn’t say.
Sophie speaks up, softly. “He brought you up. In Cabo.”
My stomach knots. “Did he?”
She nods. “He just said he misses your friendship. That he knows…it’s not going to happen. But he’d still like to patch things up before graduation.”
Something shifts inside me—a pang that isn’t quite guilt, but still enough to sting.
I remember the last time I saw him—just before break, outside my dorm.
We’d stood there beneath the overhang, wrapped in the kind of sort that stretches between people who used to know each other well.
Our conversation had been polite, careful.
But it wasn’t the words that stuck in my mind.
It was the space between them. The things he didn’t say.
“I do miss him,” I finally admit. “He was a good friend.”
Neither of them says anything for a moment. Then Carolyn reaches over and plucks a dumpling from my box.
“Well,” she says. “Text him.”
Sophie leans her head on my shoulder. “You’ve got, like, two months left—don’t waste them on what-ifs.”
There’s a tug in my chest. The pull of something unresolved.
I glance at my phone on the floor beside me.
Maybe Sophie’s right. Maybe not everything can be mended, but I’d still rather try than wonder.
A knock at the door cuts through my thoughts, and I already know who it is.
Of course he would come upstairs to collect me personally.
I let out a breath and push myself up off the floor, brushing crumbs from my shirt as I stand and cross the room.
When I open the door, I find Nathaniel leaning against the frame like he has nowhere else in the world to be.
His smile is all charm, but his expression shifts the second he sees me—eyes warming, lips parting like he can’t quite help it.
“Hey, baby,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek.
Behind me, Sophie sighs dreamily. “He’s unreal.”
“Evening, ladies,” he says, glancing past me to Sophie and Carolyn.
Carolyn mock-swoons. “Liv, your man shows up looking like a luxury ad.” She looks him up and down before asking, “Is that coat cashmere?”
Sophie barks a laugh. “Looks like it to me.”
Nathaniel chuckles, shaking his head. “Thank you both for taking such good care of Olivia tonight. I hate to break things up, but I’m afraid I’ve reached my limit. I need her back.”
Sophie fans herself dramatically. Carolyn just grins.
I start to protest. “Wait. I should at least help clean up, and my—”
“We’ve got it,” Carolyn says, already scooping up my phone and purse from the coffee table. She presses them into my hands with a knowing smile.
Sophie waves me off. “You paid your dues tonight. Go be adored.”
I shake my head, but my pulse stutters as he offers his arm, polished and absurdly elegant, like we’re stepping out of a black-and-white film instead of a drafty apartment in Cambridge.
He’s all quiet composure and tailored restraint, but his thumb brushes lightly against the inside of my wrist as I take his arm—like he has to touch skin somewhere, however small, to prove I’m real.
When we step into the hallway, he tugs me gently toward him and presses a kiss to my temple followed by my cheek. Then, finally, the corner of my mouth.
He holds out his hand. “Let’s go home.”
Home. There’s the faintest lift at the corner of his mouth as he says it.
From his tone, I can tell he’s pleased. Like the simple act of saying it aloud was a victory he’s waited patiently to collect.
Maybe that should unnerve me. Maybe it would, if it didn’t feel so good to be wanted so unequivocally.
So, I lean into him. It’s impossible not to. There’s something so effortlessly certain about the way he takes care of me—like every detail of my day, every step I take, is already accounted for in his mind.
But even as I let myself settle against his side, Sophie’s words from earlier echo beneath it all.
Two months left. Don’t waste them.
They reverberate in my mind even as I settle into the passenger seat, allowing Nathaniel to reach over and buckle me in before I can do it myself, as always.
“You have a good night?” he asks once we’re on the road.
I nod. “It was nice. We got Chinese this time. Caught each other up on spring break… Oh, did you get that very important thing you had to pick up?” I ask, half-teasing, half-curious.
“I did,” he replies smoothly, offering nothing else as he brings my hand to his lips.
I narrow my eyes but let it go. There’s something light in him tonight. A contained excitement. His fingers tap rhythmically on the steering wheel. Whatever it is, it’s making him more affectionate than usual—if that’s even possible.
I rest my head back against the seat, and a comfortable silence descends, but my mind refuses to settle.
“We also talked about Landon,” I confess eventually.
His fingers flex around the wheel. “What about him?”
“Sophie said he misses our friendship. That he knows nothing’s going to happen between us, but he still hopes we can fix things before graduation.” I leave out the part about Carolyn thinking we might’ve ended up together once. That feels…unnecessary.
Nathaniel’s jaw tightens. “And that matters to you?” he asks, voice low and even.
“Yes, because that friendship mattered once, and I’d like to end things on better terms. I don’t want to leave Halford with any regrets.
” I take a long breath, trying to find the right words to put him at ease.
“It’s not about chasing old feelings, Nathaniel.
It’s about not carrying unfinished things into the next phase of my life,” I finish gently.
He doesn’t respond immediately, but tension radiates off him, sharp and quiet. Then, he says flatly, “Not everything needs to be tied off with a bow.”
I study his profile. His eyes are fixed on the road, his mouth drawn tight.
“You don’t really believe that,” I say.