Chapter 23
23
There’s the sound of the door sliding open. ‘Genie, you OK?’
I keep my back to Tony and try to reduce the snuffling to a minimum. ‘Yes, fine.’
The door snaps closed. The conference room carpet soaks up sound, so there’s a gap, then Tony’s hand is on my back. ‘You don’t sound fine.’
‘I am. It’s nothing.’
‘Then how ’bout turning round, letting me look at you?’
I shake my head. It’s stupid, obviously Tony knows I’m crying, but I can’t bear the idea of him seeing tears on my cheeks. He stays with his shoulder behind mine and his palm against the small of my back. His thumb strokes along my spine, over and over. He keeps that going, firm and even, until I can’t help but lean into him.
His hand slips round to my waist, pulling me closer. ‘That’s right, beauty. You put the weight on me for a minute.’ It’s so completely what I want to do that I twist to look up at him. It’s still not direct eye contact, but I can see enough of his face to know he’s smiling. ‘See, that’s not so bad, is it?’
I shake my head, biting my lip.
‘You know none of this is worth crying over, don’t you? It’s nothing that can’t be mended.’
That makes me cry more. It’s just about intelligible when I say, ‘It’s not about the thing with the hotel, though. Not really.’
‘Isn’t it?’ His voice is extra gentle. ‘Then I’m making a bit of a habit of getting stuff wrong with you, aren’t I? Maybe it’d be best if I gives you a proper hug, ’stead of talking. You all right with that?’
I bury my head in his chest. He wraps his arms around me, his chin on my hair, and rocks his body slightly side to side. We stay like that until my breathing stops being gulpy. He waits until just before I’ve got up the strength of character to pull away. ‘Do you think filling me in ’bout what’s going on, that might help?’
I lift my face and look at him properly. ‘I’m meant to be keeping my problems to myself.’
Tony tightens his arms. ‘Thing is, I’m quite into having a kip before I play. So, this one, it’s sort of my problem already?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Definitely. But let’s get you sitting down first, shall we?’
He unwinds himself and leads me over to the cream sofa, artfully placed in one corner. I perch on the edge as Tony investigates the drinks table. He looks at the fancy coffee machine, head on one side, exactly like Rouden when he first saw the automatic feeder. ‘I think this is a bit beyond me. You OK with water?’
‘Water’s fine.’ Actually, more than fine. Tony remembers I prefer Perrier with lime and a chunk of ice. That might not sound like much, but usually, it’s me remembering other people’s drinks. When Tony brings the glass across, I’m still trying to make minimal contact with the sofa. How today’s going, I’m bound to spill my drink, or do something equally stupid to mark the pristine leather.
Predictably, that doesn’t seem to cross Tony’s mind. He sprawls, one arm along the back of the sofa, legs wide enough his knee touches mine. ‘So, what’s got you all upset, then? If it’s not the mix-up with the hotel.’
I pinch the bridge of my nose, determined not to cry again. ‘When I was making the booking, it’s true, you came into the office, and maybe I was distracted for a minute. But I know, absolutely know, after you left, I looked at the fixture list on the UEFA website again, before I finalized the reservation. And I definitely re-checked them yesterday.’
Tony’s face is more serious than I’m used to. ‘Yeah, I don’t doubt that.’
It’s calming, having him say that. I let myself lean back properly.
He looks at me, a long look, like he’s weighing something up. ‘What exactly are you saying?’
I sip my drink, then try not to sound crazy. ‘I don’t know how, but I think someone changed the reservation.’
Tony makes a movement with his mouth, sort of like he’s wincing. ‘Why’d anyone wanna do that?’
I wave my hand in a vague gesture of despair. ‘I don’t know. But it’s not the first time something like this has happened. Since before the start of the season, mistakes keep happening. Mostly little things. The estate agent claiming I’d got the days wrong, or the interview in London. I never booked that. And I don’t know, I think the whereabouts thing must’ve been me, but the others…’
Tony slips his hand from the back of the sofa to my shoulder and gives it a little squeeze. ‘Genie love, it’s not that I don’t believe you. But it’s struck me, once or twice, you’re over-worked. And there’s no shame in making the odd mistake in that scenario. This place, it’s got big quick. The staffing, it’s a bit behind, maybe? Like you’re running a top-four club, but the number of back-room people, it could still be a Championship team knocking on the door. Do you know what I mean?’
I nod.
‘And I knows you’re the best, but is it possible even Wonder Woman could’ve made the odd slip-up?’
I smile, he’s putting so much effort into making me feel better. ‘But I’ve been doing this since we were straight out of the Championship. I didn’t make mistakes then, and it was just me. Comparatively, I’m spoilt for help now, and I know my job…’
He interrupts. ‘I know that– better than anyone, probably. So, OK, it’s not you. Who’d wanna make it look like it was? And don’t say you don’t know, cos I reckon you’ve got an idea.’
‘All right. I’ve no proof, but I think it’s Monica.’
He turns his head from side to side, trying that on for size. ‘Yeah, OK. I could buy that. But you’ll have to fill me in on the backstory. Like why’s she always such a bitch to you? Just cos it pisses her off, everyone liking you better?’
I can’t help laughing. ‘That’s probably the least effusive compliment you’ve ever paid me.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Well, everyone loathes Monica, to varying degrees. Apart from Gavin. And it doesn’t seem to worry her.’ I look down at my fingernails. ‘I think it’s more that since we’ve got properly successful, she’s around more. Having me in the background, well, it’s got to be awkward. Only it would upset people if she sacked me. But if I start screwing up, it won’t be long before everyone accepts, I have to go.’
Tony pulls his eyebrows together, puzzled. ‘I’m not so sure ’bout that. If she fired you, I reckon half the guys at least’d refuse to play. And I don’t get what’s awkward ’bout you being here.’
‘Oh, you don’t know, do you? I suppose no one bothers about it any more, apart from me and them. I was Gavin’s first wife. We divorced three years ago.’
Tony half laughs, half chokes. ‘Hang on a minute. You’re seriously telling me you used to be married to grizzly Gavin? You, a woman who I’d give my right foot to have on my arm?’
I do laugh back, but I probably shouldn’t, and I definitely shouldn’t say, ‘That would be a major tactical error. It’s by far your most attractive feature, or what you can do with it is, anyway.’
He grins. ‘We’ll come back to that later. Cos I dunno about you, but this whole being mates thing, it’s not exactly ticking my boxes. And I’m not above taking advantage of your weird fetish for midfielders.’
It’s true, I’m convinced midfielders are the most attractive players because everything they do is about feeding someone else. But I don’t get a chance to ask how on earth Tony knows that, because he’s already more serious.
‘But let’s clear this up first. How’d you end up with Gavin?’
‘He honestly didn’t used to be so awful. Or, I don’t think he was, I might’ve been blind to it.’
‘But the scales, they dropped from your eyes and you left him. And he took up with Monica on the rebound, and she don’t like being second best, right?’
‘No. Not right at all. He left me. Gavin came home one day and told me he’d outgrown me and it would be for the best if I stepped aside, to clear the way for Monica.’
‘What a dick.’ Tony’s hand tightens on my shoulder, pulling me close. And I know Gavin’s right, Tony’s a distraction that I should be trying to resist, but I can’t stop myself nestling in. Tony wraps his fingers around mine. ‘Hope you smashed up a good few of his stupid collectibles before he left.’
‘No. I oddly wasn’t that upset. I mean, finding out they’d been seeing each other for months, it was a shock. But once the dust settled, it was honestly a relief.’
Tony’s lips brush my hair. ‘Glad to hear it. But I still don’t get how a woman as fine as you ended up with a bloke like him in the first place.’
I squeeze his fingers this time. ‘To be fair, he was a bit different back then, and he took me on with good intentions too. He was convinced he could fix me.’
‘I don’t see nothing about you that needs fixing.’
‘That’s sweet, but not true, and definitely not when Gavin met me. He was a junior doctor and I was the world’s worst medical student.’
‘You’re a doctor, too?’
‘No, I dropped out.’
I expect Tony to look at me like I’m the definition of failure. Only he doesn’t. From his face, you’d think he was still listening to a functioning human, which means, for once, I can try to explain.
‘I thought medicine was about people, but it’s not, it’s about what’s wrong with them. I hated that, but I was good at the academic side, so when I gave up, everyone said it was a terrible waste. And I was a bit lost afterwards. So when Gavin started checking in, it felt, well, comforting, I suppose. And I think Gavin thought all I’d need was a little push, and I’d go back and finish my training. But I knew even then, deep down it wasn’t this big tragedy. I’d just made a mistake, picked the wrong path, you know?’
Tony nods. ‘Yeah, I think I do. And I reckon that’s pretty brave, walking away when you know it’s not for you. Even when people are judging.’
Tony’s the first person who’s ever said that. I have to turn away for a second before I can look back at him. ‘That’s not how Gavin saw it. But he did try to accept it. It’s a big part of how we ended up back here. I wasn’t earning much, and the medical role at the club started as a way of supplementing Gavin’s pay while he was still a junior doctor. And he put loads of effort into helping me find another career. Like he was very into the idea of primary school teaching, but I wasn’t. I mean, I like children, but I don’t like telling them what to do. And it makes me laugh when they’re naughty, so I’d have been a hopeless teacher.’
Tony smiles enough that the edges of his eyes crinkle. ‘Makes you dead good at this job though, don’t it?’
‘Funnily enough, it’s the perfect mindset for babysitting players. And it was Gavin who got me the job here, once he’d got used to the idea I wasn’t one of life’s professionals. So, I should be grateful, but it was probably the final nail in the coffin for our marriage.’
‘How’s that?’
‘He was getting life and death calls from the hospital, and I was taking just as many midnight phone calls. Only mine were from guys who’d locked themselves out, or left their second phone in a taxi, or forgotten their girlfriend’s birthday. You know the sort of thing.’
‘Yeah, I do. And I’m betting you was quite a lifesaver yourself. But he should’ve been pleased, you finding what you enjoyed doing. And was good at.’
‘But he thought it was just a little job, something to keep me occupied till I got pregnant.’ The words catch in my throat and I push my hair back from my face. ‘Only I didn’t get pregnant.’
I suddenly realize I’ve told Tony far more than I intended, more than I’ve ever told anyone about me and Gavin. He doesn’t say anything, just stands and walks over to stare out of the window. Watching him, I know I’m completely over Gavin and everything that happened before. Because all I’m thinking is how much I want to run my hand down from Tony’s shoulder, along the curve of his spine, to the waist of his jeans. But now he knows all this messy complicated stuff about me. Though complicated, well, everyone knows that’s not what Tony Garratt’s looking for.
Even if what he said before about being more than friends was for real, I’ll have put him off now. I’m half expecting him to say that, to get it done with right away. But when he turns, he looks every bit as determined as before he takes a penalty.
‘All right then, Genie, my beauty. We’re going to make sure you keep your job.’
‘Are we?’ I ask, almost laughing at his absolute confidence.
‘Yeah, we are.’ He looks me up and down, then shakes his head, staring up at the ceiling. ‘And I hopes you know, what I wanna do most in the world is take you home. So we can pick up where we left off just now, talking about how my long passes get you all hot under the collar.’
I laugh out loud this time. ‘I don’t recall saying anything of the sort.’
‘But we both knows that’s what you meant. Only, I’m a much nicer bloke than you give me credit for, so you’ll have to make do with clips of my finest moments tonight. Cos I’m gonna be busy getting that booking switched to the right day.’
My confidence dips. ‘I’m not sure that’s possible.’
‘It’s the hotel visiting clubs always use, yeah? The white stone one off the main square?’
‘That’s right.’
‘Well, it just so happens, I’m on friendly terms with one of the reception girls.’
‘Why doesn’t that surprise me?’
He shrugs. ‘We’ve both been in this industry a while. You’ve got your contacts, I’ve got mine.’
‘I think I picked them up slightly differently, but if you don’t mind calling her, I’d be grateful.’
‘You know I’m gonna hold you to that, don’t you?’
Walking out of the door, I can’t help smiling over my shoulder. ‘I certainly hope so.’