Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
BLAKELY
“Be back,” I say as I head toward the Sandbar restaurant’s bathroom.
We walked around the island for a while, taking in the view, before Halsey brought me to the Sandbar where we have reservations.
Of course we have one of the best seats in the place, overlooking the harbor and the skyline.
We put in our order, and I had to excuse myself because. ..I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed in a good way.
I step off to the side in a small corridor in the hallway and pull my phone from my pocket, where I call Penny. I bring the phone to my ear, and she answers on the second ring.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I have like five minutes,” I say quickly. “I’m out on a date with Halsey right now, and he told me that you were in on the whole plan to get me to like him.”
“Uhh . . . he did?” she asks, sounding nervous.
“I’m not mad. I actually think it’s cute that he was looking for help. Anyway, he took me to Granville Island for our date. We took the aquabus to get here, and we’re eating at the Sandbar. I need to know if you had any input on this date or if this was all him.”
“Okay, that’s a lot of information. I didn’t even know he was going out with you. I know Eli mentioned something about Halsey cutting everyone off from the details between you two because he was sick of all the input.”
“So this was all his idea?”
“Seems like it. Are you having fun?”
“Penny,” I say, swallowing hard.
“Yes?” she asks.
“I really like him. Like, I’m so overwhelmed with how much I like him that I had to take a step back.
Right now, he’s acting like the man I first started living with.
It feels effortless being near him now that the awkwardness has faded and we started talking again.
It’s kind of scary how much I like him, and I needed to call you because I didn’t want to freak out.
This is too soon, right? I’m having feelings for a man, and it’s too soon.
I shouldn’t have these strong feelings for someone else when I just got out of a long relationship. ”
“Yes, you did just get out of a long relationship. But I also think that if you and Perry had still been in love with each other— actively dating each other— then the breakup would have shattered you. I wonder if your relationship had already fizzled out by the time you ‘broke up’. It may be that Halsey came into your life at just the right time. Exactly when you were ready for someone new.” Hmmm.
I hadn’t thought about it like that. “ You need to listen to your heart and follow that, not what people might think. If you like him, then you like him. Plain and simple. And take it from someone who waited a long time to be with the person they wanted to be with. If you like him, just accept it.” I mull that over and then quietly say, “He likes me, Penny. He’s liked me for a long time. ”
“We know. We’ve known. It’s been torture for him. I don’t think he’s going anywhere. He’s set in what he wants, and what he wants is you, so . . . enjoy this time. Get to know him. I think this could be something special between you two.”
“You do?” I ask.
“I do. He’s a good guy. And I know you’re nervous about who he really is.
I’d just keep asking him questions, keep pulling him out of his shell.
I will say this, and so will the boys, we have never seen him so lively.
He’s changed since he’s met you, and he’s changed a lot since you broke up with Perry. ”
“Yeah, I know.” I take a deep breath. “Okay. Thanks, Penny.”
“You’re welcome. Now go have fun. Don’t overthink it.”
“I won’t.”
I hang up the phone and stuff it back into my pocket before I head back to the table where Halsey sits, staring out the window. He isn’t looking at his phone or trying to distract himself while I’m gone. Instead, he’s enjoying the scenery while sipping some water.
Just makes me like him that much more. He’s connected to the moment, not trying to distract himself with the outside world.
I walk up to the table, place my hand on his back, and rub it before taking a seat.
“Hey,” he says, his eyes lighting up when he sees me.
How could I not have seen this before? The way he looks at me when I walk into a room. The subtle bounce of his Adam’s apple. The shift in his posture or the soft acknowledgement in his voice.
It’s been right in front of me this entire time, and I’ve been so blind not to notice. Here I thought that he was out of my league, when he’s been inviting me into his world for a long time now.
“This is so beautiful,” I say as I look out over the water.
“I’m glad you like it,” he replies.
I look across the table at him and notice how his eyes are set on me, his interest pulled toward me. Even his body language is directed at me.
“I’m sorry,” I say before I can stop myself.
His brow cinches together. “Sorry for what?” he asks.
“That I didn’t know about your crush, that you had to watch me with someone else. That you had to wait so long.”
“You don’t need to apologize. You were worth the wait, Blakely.”
And with that, it’s solidified. I can see myself falling fast and hard for this man if I haven’t started already.
“So you weren’t a big hockey fan before you started working for the Agitators?” Halsey asks.
I shake my head. “I obviously followed it and knew about the sport because I was trying to get a job in sports, so I kept up on the top ones, but I wasn’t a huge fan until I started watching all the games.
Well, was forced to watch the games. The more I learned, the more I became invested in the sport and the team. I’d say I’m a huge fan now.”
Halsey takes a mouthful of his roasted veggies, then asks, “Am I your favorite player?”
“What kind of question is that?” I ask with a tilt of my head.
“A fair one.”
“Of course you’re my favorite.”
“Are you just saying that because you’re technically my roommate who shares a bed with me?”
“No.” I roll my eyes. “I’m saying that because you’re the best sex I’ve ever had.”
The smallest of grins passes over his lips. “Good answer.”
“Thought you might like that.”
“Do you have a second favorite player?”
I wipe my mouth with my napkin and set it on the table.
“Um . . . I honestly think Pacey gets lost in the mix. The announcers are always saying that his job is easy because Hornsby and Posey are so good at what they do that it’s hard to penetrate their wall, but I’ve watched Pacey score shutout after shutout and not earn the credit for it. ”
“I agree with you,” Halsey says. “Ever since his head injury, he hasn’t been given the credit he deserves, which is weird to me. You would think that with the way he performs, he’d get more praise.”
“Do you think he’ll be around much longer? I know he’s getting older, and I’m sure Winnie can’t be too happy he still plays when he continues to get migraines every now and again.”
“I don’t know,” Halsey says. “Surprisingly, we don’t talk about it. I don’t think any of us want to consider playing without Pacey in front of the goal.”
“Denial. I’ve spent time with it, and it’s nice until it’s not.”
“Yeah, I’ve had my fair share of time with denial,” Halsey says.
I can only imagine he’s referencing his brother, and since we’re being honest and getting to know each other, I decide to ask.
“You mean with your brother?”
He nods. “The stages of grief are a real thing. I lived in denial for a long time.”
“Would you say you’re at acceptance?” I ask.
He sets his fork down and sits back in his chair. He looks out toward the ocean, and to my surprise, he shakes his head. “No. I think I’m still at anger.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say.
His eyes return to mine. “Don’t apologize.” He reaches across the table and takes my hand. “There’s nothing to apologize about.”
“I just assumed you were at acceptance.”
“I would have assumed that too,” he says softly. “But I’m not going to lie to myself. There’s a lot I haven’t taken care of when it comes to the loss of my brother, and until I do, I can’t move on to the other stages.”
“I can always help you if you need the help.”
He shakes his head. “No, I don’t want to worry you with that.” He offers me a sad smile. “That’s something I need to work at on my own.”
He lifts his water and takes another sip. I watch as his lips touch the glass and suck in the water only to flow down his throat. God, he’s gorgeous.
I’m still coming to terms with how long he’s liked me. Is it just that Perry and I had been together for so long that we’d forgotten what first attracted us to each other? Is that why it’s so nice to hear what Halsey first thought of me?
“You stunned me. It was your eyes that captivated me first. And then you smiled, and I was fucking gone. I honestly don’t think I heard one thing the entire time you talked to me. I was so caught up in the fact that I was feeling something for someone. I hadn’t felt anything since my brother died.”
He’s essentially waited for me. But what he’s noted about his stages of grief does concern me, if I’m honest.
“I was pretty dead inside, Blakely. I shut down after Holden passed, and when I met you, I felt this zap of life inside me. Like this fog had momentarily parted and let me see something, someone outside of my dreary life. You rocked me, and I knew I needed to learn about you.”
Does this mean he’ll always process things internally? Because Perry was a little like that. And I realize now that it’s probably what helped us drift apart. We became so good at simply problem-solving internally.
Halsey is such a different, complex man from what I thought initially.
He’s shy and quiet. There’s his alpha, overprotective male side—which still gets me hot.
The sex god. The swoon-worthy man. But I’ve always sensed his deeper, angry side, suggesting that terrible things have happened, and he’s never really dealt with them.
If he doesn’t address them, that can’t bode well for our relationship. It’s textbook. Should I be worried that he doesn’t want me to be involved in that?