Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
HALSEY
She’s so beautiful.
Just look at her face. Those eyes, they fucking slice right through me. The light freckles on her nose give her a look of whimsy. Those lips, they’re so sweet and innocent but also sinful and dangerous.
And she’s mine.
Even though it’s all I’ve wanted from the moment I met her, it’s settling in and now I’m terrified.
Why, you ask?
Because I wanted to share this night with someone.
I wanted to tell my parents about how goddamn lucky I am to have taken Blakely out.
I wanted to send them the picture Blakely and I took on the aquabus.
I wanted to be able to brag about the girl in my arms. I wish I could call Holden, Hayden, or my parents, and find a time for them to meet my girl.
And sure, I have my boys, and they’d be ecstatic for me, but there’s the pain that I feel deep in my soul that reminds me every day that I don’t have the one person in my life I could have shared every detail with.
And he’d have sat there and listened. He’d have called me a douche at times or made fun of me for liking a fucking lemon square, but in the end, he would have been proud of me and smiled.
I don’t have that, and knowing I don’t have that has messed with my head.
It’s reminded me that having a shred of that comfort back is a possibility, but someone has to break the tension. Someone has to make that first move and, despite feeling so fucking sick over it, I know it needs to be me.
“Halsey.” Blakely runs her finger over my jaw. “Talk to me.”
I run my hand over her lower back, rounding her ass, then up her spine. It’s slow, and it’s comforting. It confirms she’s here with me now, and she has no intention of leaving.
“Tonight was everything I could have asked for,” I say.
“When I say I’ve dreamed of this night for so long, I’m not fucking kidding.
I’d lie here in my bed and think about what I’d do with you.
Where I’d take you on our first date. What I’d say.
And then it happened, and I feel so fucking euphoric, like I’m soaking in a high that I never want to end. ”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
I shake my head. “It’s not. Nothing about tonight was bad.
It was perfect. You’re perfect.” I smooth her hair behind her ear.
“And that’s what’s killing me because I want to shout to everyone that I’m the luckiest motherfucker ever.
” I pause and then say, “When we got home, do you know what my initial instinct was?”
“What?” she asks.
“To call Holden. When you went to your room, I sat and stared at my phone, wondering if I texted him if he’d respond.
I wanted to tell him that I took out my dream girl, and how it was so fucking perfect.
But I knew he wouldn’t respond. That’s when I thought about my parents and Hayden.
I would have texted them in the past, but I knew that wasn’t an option and it made me realize, I need to mend those relationships.
If I don’t, it will sit on my chest and then at some point, it might hurt our relationship, and I will not let that happen. ”
I press my hand to her cheek.
“You’re it for me, Blakely. This is it. I want nothing else and I want to do everything I can to make sure this relationship goes the distance.”
She gently smiles as she leans down and presses a soft, whisper-like kiss to my lips.
“No one has ever talked to me like that before,” she says.
“Does it overwhelm you?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t. It makes me feel secure, cherished, and wanted.
And not to bring up Perry, but I think that’s where the difference is when it came to my feelings for him.
In some senses, we were so young when we first got together.
Everything was fun, and then over time, it wasn’t.
We didn’t grow with the relationship. I’ve thought a lot about this since he left.
It wasn’t actually that hard to let him go.
And that showed me that our relationship wasn’t as strong as I had thought it was. We wouldn’t have gone the distance.”
She smooths her palm over my heart. I can’t say I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve wondered if I was a rebound, but I don’t think I am now.
“But the connection we have? It’s why I was so scared at first to be with you. This bond we have seemed so innate. Intense. It’s real and it’s honest, and it’s so much more than just a fuck at night. Does that make sense?”
“It does,” I say. “Because I feel the same way.”
“Then don’t feel immediate pressure to make things right with your family.
You do that when you’re ready. Remember that it’s a two-way street here.
It’s not just up to you. But also, don’t think you need to do it because of me or that you won’t be healthy enough to be with me until you do.
I care about you, Halsey. I want you as is, right now, in this very moment. ”
I wet my lips as my eyes stay connected on hers. “Thank you, Blakely.”
She presses a kiss to my lips before saying, “No need to thank me, just keep holding me.”
“Easy,” I say as I roll her to her back and shift her legs open with my knee. She raises a brow right before I kiss down her body and keep going south so I can show her exactly how much she means to me.
“Penny, you’re staring again,” Blakely says.
“What? No, I’m not.” She lifts her menu in front of her face, blocking us from view.
Blakely reaches across the table and tugs down the menu to reveal her friend. “Yes, you are.”
Penny tosses her hands up in the air and says, “Fine, okay, I was staring, but how can I not? Eli is staring too.”
“No, I’m not,” he says. “I’m trying to decide whether I want soup and a salad or a hearty sandwich.”
“Go with the sandwich, man,” I say as I drape my arm over Blakely and she leans into me.
Blakely asked me this morning if I’d go to lunch with Penny and Eli because Penny was—as she put it—“frothing at the mouth” to see us together.
It was an easy yes for me because any time spent with Blakely is a win, even if that means it feels like we’re sitting in a fishbowl as her best friend watches our every move.
“Can’t a girl just be excited for her friend?” Penny asks.
“A girl can be excited for her friend, but a friend can also be a creepy stalker who won’t stop staring.”
“Uh, because I’m in awe,” Penny replies.
“I’ve never seen anyone manifest anything as hard as Halsey did.
I mean, look at you both. He has his arm wrapped around you, you’re all cuddled in close, you both have smiles on your faces, and there’s a tiny bite mark on your neck that you forgot to cover up.
” Blakely presses her hand to her neck. I saw the bite mark before we left and said nothing because I like people to know that she’s taken.
“It’s so sweet and so amazing that I’m just sitting here in wonderment.
So yeah, I’m going to stare. And Eli is going to stare. ”
“But I’m not staring.”
Penny swats at her man. “Eli, stare.”
“Oh, right.” He clears his throat and looks up at us. He knits his brows together as he stares hard.
“Dude, she means look at us, not try to blow us up with the force.”
Penny glances up at Eli and then smooths out his brow. “Don’t be a creep about it, Eli.”
“I don’t know how to stare. This is weird.”
“What’s weird is that you’re not as fascinated as I am about this development. You were there for the journey.” She motions to us. “Marvel at the result.”
Eli looks between us and Penny, utter confusion written all over him. “I don’t know what to do here. I’m extremely uncomfortable. Do you want me to clap?”
“Yes,” I say before Penny can say anything. “Clap for us, Eli.”
He lifts his hands above the table, hesitant, only for Penny to swat his hands down. “Don’t clap for them, that would make this weird.”
“Jesus fuck, this whole thing is weird.” Eli pulls on his hair. When he hears me chuckle, he points and says, “You’re an asshole.”
“How about this,” Blakely says. “We start a conversation that doesn’t make anyone uncomfortable? How about how the season is going?”
Eli shakes his head. “Nah, the last thing I want to do is talk about hockey. How about we discuss Valentine’s Day.”
“Very subtle,” Penny says with an eye roll. “You mean your birthday?”
“Well, can’t a guy discuss what he wants to do? We have the night off.”
“Do you want a party?” Blakely asks.
He shakes his head. “No, I want Penny’s parents to take Holden and Penny to take me in—”
Penny clamps her hand over Eli’s mouth and says, “Say that out loud and I won’t be taking you anywhere.”
He smiles against her hand and in a muffled voice, he says, “Good to know.”
Penny then turns to us and folds her hands together as she asks, “Are you two going to be each other’s valentines?”
“Yes,” I answer as Blakely says, “We haven’t discussed it.”
Question in my brow, I look at her and ask, “Planning on being someone else’s valentine?”
“No,” she answers. “Just didn’t want to put any pressure on you. Perry often worked on Valentine’s Day. He’d always escape early so we did something, but I never pressured him to do anything.”
“Pressure me all you want,” I say. “I want to know what you want, how you want it, and when you want it. If you desire a valentine’s celebration, it’s yours, baby.”
“Oh my God.” Penny clutches her chest. “He calls you baby.” She swats at Eli. “Did you hear that? He calls her baby.”
“Ouch,” Eli says, rubbing his arm. “I have ears, Penny.”
Ignoring them, I say, “Then let’s celebrate. I’d love to be your valentine.”
I lift her chin and press a delicate kiss to her lips. “Good.”
“How’s the ankle?” Posey asks as he comes into the ice room where I’m nursing my ankle in an ice bath.
“Good,” I say, studying the heavy set in his shoulders and the irritated pull in his expression. “How’s everything with you?”
“Great,” he says, offering me a fake smile.
“You sure? Because it seems like—”