Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
P iper slid onto the back seat of the limo and collapsed into the corner, wishing like hell that the past half hour had been a bad, bad dream.
Lizzie and Mattie climbed in after her.
Stunned silence filled the car. Outside, the noise got louder.
“Maybe it’s not a good idea to go back on tour.” Mattie sounded shell-shocked, and her hands shook. “They seem so much meaner now.”
“This has nothing to do with asshat paparazzi,” Piper said. “They’ll move on the second they sense blood somewhere else.”
She took a long, deep breath. Her head hurt, and her eyes stung with unshed tears. “Just smile. They hate that.”
“Where’s Della?” Lizzie asked. “I thought she was right behind us.”
“I thought so too,” Mattie said. “Should I go get her?”
Piper peered out the window. A few cameras were pointed at the car, but the angle was bad, so they couldn’t be getting good shots through the tinted glass. She couldn’t see anything else but people’s backsides .
“What are they shouting about?” Lizzie asked.
“I don’t know.” Mattie stretched up for a better angle. “There’s Della.”
Della launched herself into the limo, and the door slammed shut behind her.
“Where’s the boys?” Mattie asked.
“They have the next car.” Della turned her face away from the window and spoke to the driver. “Let’s get moving.”
The car pulled away from the curb and rolled slowly down the street, followed by people with cameras shouting at them.
They didn’t matter, their stupid questions didn’t matter, and the ridiculous “news” story didn’t matter.
She wasn’t naked for the world to see like Mattie had been, and even if she was, she wouldn’t care.
Blake’s words had hit right in the deepest part of her heart, where that little negative voice lived. The one that told her she wasn’t good enough. The one that she constantly tried to prove was full of crap.
She worked hard, pushed herself even harder, and kept moving toward that elusive place somewhere in the distance where she wouldn’t hear that voice anymore because there’d be nothing left for it to say.
Much good it did her.
That voice had caught up and slapped her in the face tonight.
You’re not good enough to be the lead for anything.
“Piper,” Lizzie said softly. “You okay?”
She nodded and kept her gaze focused out the window. The sun had set. All she could see were lights blurred together as they moved onto the freeway and her own reflection staring back at her with wide, unblinking eyes.
“What an asshole,” Della said. “Can you believe that guy?”
“I didn’t see the whole article,” Mattie said. “What else did it say? ”
“It doesn’t matter,” Piper muttered.
She was so tired. She just wanted to curl up in the dark somewhere and not feel anything.
“She’s right.” Lizzie’s calm voice of reason cut in. “Let’s drop the subject.”
“Well, she obviously can’t work with him on that stupid movie.” Della huffed. “He’s a two-faced prick.”
“It’s not stupid,” Piper said.
She sounded distant, even to herself, but she couldn’t let that statement stand. It was a good movie. She loved the story.
She loved him.
That’s what made all of this so much worse. She’d expected hateful things from Rachel, but not Blake.
“I know I couldn’t do it.” Mattie’s voice was soft and teary. “I wouldn’t be able to face him on set every day and pretend to be in love with him knowing what he really thinks.”
“She should walk out,” Della grumped. “Let’s see him finish his stupid movie without her.”
“It’s not stupid,” Piper said, a little louder. She tore her gaze from the window to glare at her sisters. “It’s going to be a great movie.”
Lizzie put a soft hand on her arm. “She didn’t mean it that way. She’s just defending you.”
“She never means anything,” Piper snapped. “Doesn’t stop her, though, does it.”
She instantly wished she could call the words back. Della didn’t deserve her anger. Not this time.
Silence stretched. Mattie blinked at her with bright, shiny eyes, her brow furrowed. Lizzie squeezed Piper’s arm as if to say stop talking, or maybe apologize right now to your baby sister.
Della stared at nothing and looked…not hurt, exactly. Thoughtful? No. Guilty. That was her guilty face.
Piper glared down at her hands. “Sorry. That was bitchy. ”
“It’s okay. It was true,” Della said softly. “Truth hurts.”
“Let’s all just calm down,” Lizzie said. “Piper’s hurting, and we’re all reacting to her pain, but let’s not turn on each other.”
They rode in silence until the car exited the freeway.
“Piper,” Mattie said, a little more sure of herself, “you can lean on us. We’ll get you through. You all helped me so much when…well, you know when. We’re here for you always. You know that, right?”
“Always,” Lizzie said. She still had her hand on Piper’s arm, a warm comforting presence that grounded her.
“Bellamy Babes forever,” Della said with an emphatic nod. “No matter what.”
Piper’s eyes blurred. “I know. Don’t worry. This is…it’s not a big deal. It’s just a shock.”
She managed a grateful, watery smile, then returned to staring out the window. They were getting close to her house now. She could feel the pull like a magnet. She just wanted to be home. She wanted to get into pajamas and find a quiet spot and pretend the world didn’t exist.
A phone buzzed somewhere in the car.
Piper checked, heart pounding with the thought that it might be a text from Blake, but it wasn’t hers.
“It’s not mine,” Lizzie said.
“It’s me,” Mattie said as she took her phone out of her tiny, for her, bag. “Adam’s worried.”
Piper’s phone buzzed. She glanced at the sender. Her manager, Neil.
“Is it him?” Lizzie asked softly.
“It’s Neil.” Piper sighed. “He thinks we should probably issue some kind of statement.”
“Why should we?” Della shifted in her seat. She seemed a little uncomfortable even though she’d already kicked off her heels. “Blake’s the one who screwed up. ”
“Um, maybe because of this,” Mattie said. Her voice sounded so strained that they all turned to look at her.
She held her phone so they could all see the screen. It was another video, this time with Blake and Della center in the frame, surrounded by a crowd of onlookers.
Piper recognized the spot. She’d been standing there herself just a few minutes ago.
“What…”
Mattie pressed Play, and they all watched as Della punched Blake in the face.
Blake fell backward with the force of the blow.
Della said something, but it was too noisy to make out what it was.
Blake looked so dazed and confused a part of her almost felt sorry for him.
Another part, the hurting part, felt slightly better and somewhat vindicated.
“She kicked his ass,” someone, maybe the guy holding the phone, said with a laugh. “Oh man, I have to show…”
The video stopped.
All of their heads swiveled in Della’s direction.
Della pressed her lips together and thrust her chin up. “He deserved it.”
Piper gaped at her baby sister. Della was the sunshiny one. The perpetual little girl. The one the entire world revolved around most of the time. She loved dancing and music and laughter. She wasn’t a fighter. At least, she hadn’t been before.
“Well, I guess we know why she was late getting to the car.” Lizzie sounded a little out of breath.
Mattie stared at Della like she’d grown a horn in the middle of her forehead.
Giggles started somewhere deep in Piper’s chest. “You punched him. You punched a movie star. You… ”
Laughter spilled out. She couldn’t stop it. “Oh my God, the look on his face…on yours…”
Lizzie’s lips quirked up. “It’s really not funny.”
“Where’d you learn to punch like that?” Mattie asked wonderingly. “Adam says it was a great right hook. Excellent form. The guys are all giving you a high-five. Adam’s brother said to tell you next time, add a kick.”
“Oh, this isn’t funny. It’s not funny.” Piper held her stomach and tried to suck in a deep breath in between fits of giggles. She was hysterical. This was what a nervous breakdown felt like. She tried to pull herself together and failed. “You shouldn’t have but oh, Della…that was…”
Tears streamed down her face now, finally released by Della’s punch. She wiped at them, but her chest felt a little lighter than it had before.
“Della.” Lizzie’s exasperation was obvious. “There were cameras everywhere.”
“He deserved it.” Della looked at her raw, red knuckles. “He made you feel like you were less…and nobody gets to do that. Not him. Not that Rachel skank. Not me. Nobody.”
“Della,” Mattie said, “you never did that. Not really.”
“Yes, I did.” Della looked at Mattie, then at Piper. “I might not have meant to, but I did. I’m as bad as he is. Basically I was punching myself.”
“Go ahead.” Della stuck her chin out. “Hit me. It’ll make me feel better.”
“Nobody’s punching anybody else,” Lizzie said firmly.
Another round of giggles bubbled up and out of Piper’s throat. “No.”
The car pulled up to a stop outside her front door, and they all climbed out.
“Piper, when are you supposed to go back to Vegas?” Mattie asked .
Piper opened the front door. “Next week. I assume, anyway. That’s if things haven’t changed.”
“They should change,” Della muttered.
Did Blake still want her as lead?
Did she still want the part?
“The boys are on their way,” Mattie announced. “They got caught up in the crowd after we left.”
“Renic’s almost here too,” Lizzie said.
“I’m going to get changed.” Piper headed down the hall toward her bedroom. “Somebody order pizza. All I have in the house is coffee and cheese.”
By the time she forced herself out of her room, her house had been filled with people and pizza.
For the next few hours, Piper let the noise of family wash over her. Her sisters, Renic, Adam, and the rest of Delusions of Glory were more than her small living room was meant to hold, but she didn’t mind. It felt good to have people in the house. If she were here alone, she’d just think too much.
Later that night, Piper escaped the madness by slipping out onto the back porch with a soft, fuzzy blanket. She curled up on one of the cushioned patio chairs and stared at the shadows without really seeing them.
She felt like a limp dish rag that had been wrung out one too many times. She’d been on such a high today. Too high. Something that felt that good had to come crashing down sooner or later.
The gut punch of Blake’s viral video had landed a lot harder than it should have. She usually shook off the worst of social media as the cost of doing business.
This felt different, though. Like a thousand tiny daggers to her heart.
She loved him .
Was that why it hurt so much to know what he really thought?
Lizzie sat next to her and handed her a cup of tea.
Piper wrapped her hands around it, grateful for the warmth. “Thanks.”
They sat in silence and stared at the black nothing of the backyard, listening to the sounds of laughter from inside the house. It comforted her a little that normal life kept going, despite it all.
Lizzie’s warm, understanding presence helped ease a little of the ache, too.
“I should have known,” Piper said finally.
“Should have known what?” Lizzie asked.
“This is Hollywood. Nobody shows you who they really are.” She snorted a bitter laugh. “Least of all someone like Blake. He’s spent a lifetime perfecting that face he shows the world. His whole life is just one act after another. I just really thought I’d slipped past all that, you know?”
“You sure you didn’t?”
Piper stared at the tea in her cup. There weren’t any life answers in there. No tea leaves to tell her the future. She took a sip. It soothed her throat and warmed her belly, but it didn’t fix anything.
“We can get you out of that contract if you want,” Lizzie said. “Renic’s lawyers say those things are pretty flimsy. You don’t have to do the movie.”
“Yes I do.” Piper glanced at her sister. Lizzie, more than all of them, understood what it meant to be professional and to honor commitments. It was what had made her so good at managing their careers over the years. “I’m one of the producers. When I found out Blake needed money, I invested twenty million. I’d be a fool to pull out now, it would tank the movie. ”
“Twenty million. Wow.” Lizzie’s eyes widened a little. “He asked you for twenty million dollars?”
“No. I offered it because he was having a fight with the studio, but he refused to take it like a stubborn ass. He said he didn’t want money to get in the way of our relationship . So I contacted the studio directly. I don’t think he even knows I did it. It never seemed like the right time to tell him.”
“There’s a lot to unpack in there.” Lizzie sounded stunned.
“What? He needed the money, and I believe in this project. I’m a huge part of it, now. I basically invested in myself.”
“You did it behind his back, Piper.” Lizzie’s disapproval was all over her face. “That’s hard for some people to take.”
“No harder than what he did to me.” She squirmed a little in her seat, trying to get comfortable. She’d felt uneasy about it ever since she’d made the phone call, but she didn’t want Blake’s first movie to fail. He needed the help, dammit. He was being unreasonable. “He’ll get over it.”
“Will he?” Lizzie eyed her. “Will you ?”
Piper glared at her tea. “Besides, I’ve wanted to get into acting for a long time and I’m not going to let Blake or anyone else take it away from me. Least of all that skank Rachel Morris and her stupid video.”
“You sure it was her?”
“Oh yeah. It was her.” Piper thought back to all the snide comments, the difficult diva moments, the rolled eyes, the snotty undercurrent to everything Rachel said and did, and knew without a doubt that she was behind everything. “Blake wouldn’t do something like this. He hates social media. He might have said those things, but Rachel released the video. She’s the only one who knew he said…what he said. She’s the only one who’d care.”
“Hmm.” Lizzie sipped her tea and looked thoughtful. “When you think about it, he didn’t say anything you didn’t say about yourself. You called me that first day wailing about how horrible you were, remember?”
“I was all over the place.” Piper snorted a laugh. “I had no idea what I was doing, and it showed.”
“I also remember how Blake helped you out,” Lizzie commented.
Piper thought about the nights in Blake’s living room with Marshall and knew she owed them. Without their help, Rachel might have succeeded in pushing her out.
“Blake and Marshall ran lines with me for hours,” she admitted.
“I’m not sure a man should be held responsible for a few comments made when he didn’t even know you. His actions since then paint a pretty different picture, don’t they?”
She didn’t want to agree. She wanted to insist that Blake was a jerk and that she was right to feel this horrible, aching pain in her heart, but she knew it wasn’t fair. Blake had been nothing but supportive since the very first day they met. He’d taught her what she didn’t know, he’d worked with her, and he’d made her feel like she was the most important woman in his world. Surely, that wasn’t all an act.
“I guess so.”
“It seems to me this is just a jealous, petty, vindictive woman trying to get under your skin, not Blake trying to be an asshole.”
“Maybe.”
Lizzie nudged her leg. “All I’m saying is…if you love him, it’s worth maybe letting this go. You do love him, don’t you?”
“Yes.” Piper closed her eyes and let out a long breath. “Lord help me.”
“Thought so.” Lizzie stood up. “I’m going to get the party out so you can have your house back.”
“No, don’t.” Piper got up and walked with her sister back into the house. “This is my night. Let’s celebrate. ”
She wondered why Blake didn’t try to call, but then realized she had no idea where her phone was. After a brief search, she found it in her bedroom, where it had been helpfully hidden under her pillow by, she assumed, one of her sisters.
She sat on her bed and scrolled through her messages after everyone but Della had gone.
Neil texted her with reminders and demands that she let him know she was alive.
She responded with a one-finger emoji, followed by a cheesy grin emoji.
Paul texted with surprisingly subdued pleas to let him know she was all right.
Piper reassured him everything was going to be fine.
Tamar stayed silent about everything that happened on the red carpet, but Piper supposed there was very little she could do about it anyway.
There were four missed calls and several text messages from Blake. She clenched her jaw in an effort to stop the tears as she read them.
I never should have said those things. They weren’t true.
No, he shouldn’t have.
I also said you were right for the part. You were. You are. The right choice.
Maybe that was true. Maybe not. Maybe they only cast her to get access to her fan base. Maybe she’d just been the only one to say yes, just like him.
I was an idiot. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
I miss you.
She swallowed, but the lump in her throat refused to go down. They should have been celebrating together tonight. He should have been here laughing with her sisters, having drinks with the boys, or just holding her hand while they told stories about Jeremy and Gina. He should be here right now, with his arm around her shoulder.
Piper brushed a tear away. She missed him too, but that didn’t change anything. There was no putting this genie back in the bottle. His thoughts were out there for the world to see, and there was nothing she could do about it.
They were scheduled for rounds of promotional interviews the next day, though only one where they had to appear face-to-face.
How was she going to go on camera after what had happened? All of the questions would be about the gossip, not the movie. Could she call in sick?
Her gut wrenched sideways at the idea.
That would be the coward’s way out, and this was what she’d worked so hard for. This was her time to shine. If she didn’t show, they’d just gossip about her behind her back anyway.
“What are you doing?” Della said from the doorway. “You shouldn’t be looking at the trash out there right now. You of all people should know that.”
“I’m not.” Piper tucked the phone back under her pillow. “I need to get some sleep. I have to be at the studio for interviews by six.”
“You’re going?” Della asked softly. “Are you sure?”
Piper smiled, sensing her sister’s concern and feeling grateful for it, but it didn’t change her mind. “Yes.”
“Okay.” Della didn’t sound convinced, but she dropped the subject. “I’ll make sure you get up in plenty of time.”
The door closed softly behind her.
The first round of interviews went better than she’d expected. Everyone in the main cast remained in individually assigned rooms, while the press rotated from person to person. When she first arrived, she caught a glimpse of Blake’s back as he was shown into his interview room, but she didn’t see him again the rest of the morning.
Someone at Day Dreams Studios must have told the reporters that certain topics were off-limits because they carefully hinted at, but didn’t outright ask about, Blake’s viral video. One made a joke about how her sister had an excellent right hook, which had made her wince, but then she’d agreed with them that it was true. Della had learned some serious skills in a self-defense class she’d taken.
Piper didn’t see Blake until she arrived backstage at the Kelley Kimmel Show late that afternoon. Jeremy and Gina had been on first, then Rachel. Blake and Piper were last to be interviewed and would have to sit next to each other while they smiled and pretended everything was all right.
She should be happy. She’d achieved something special.
No matter how many times she tried to convince herself that the video didn’t matter, the truth was she cared more than she should about those few careless words Blake had said when he hadn’t really known her.
It wasn’t rational, but there it was.
It broke her heart that he’d ever thought those things because she’d thought the same things about herself, and it hurt to have someone she loved verify something she’d always been afraid was true.
It was hard to shake that off.
And now she had to face it, and him, and go on like her heart wasn’t at least a little bit broken.
She wasn’t that good of an actress.
A stagehand escorted her to the side of the set where Blake was already waiting.
“We’ll be ready for you in just a minute,” the girl said.
Piper nodded and smiled and waited for the girl to leave. She carefully avoided looking at Blake .
The awkward tension between them made her want to scream. She wished she could rant and rave at him like he deserved, but she’d passed through anger hours ago and had come out the other side crushingly sad.
She hated feeling like this.
She hated the way it was hard to breathe every time she pictured that video.
She hated the way her heart seemed to beat sideways whenever she thought about the look on Blake’s face when she found out he’d said those things.
He’d looked as devastated as she’d felt.
She needed to get past this.
She was used to not being someone’s first choice after all. She just never thought she’d hear it from him.
A tear threatened to spill out. She looked up at the ceiling and willed it to go away. She would not cry in front of Blake, and she definitely wasn’t going to make her eyes puffy before she went out to be interviewed on national television.
She wouldn’t give Rachel the satisfaction.
Piper stared at the she-devil as she charmed and delighted the unsuspecting crowd. The audience laughed as Kelley made jokes and the two danced to the opening song of Scorched .
The woman knew no shame.
“How are you doing?” Blake asked in a low voice.
She risked a glance at him.
The pain on his face nearly broke her resolve to keep things professional. Her heart lurched, and she turned away before all the words she was trying not to say spilled out. “Fine.”
Applause erupted from the audience as Rachel exited the opposite side.
“Coming up, Prince Jesse and Princess Jewel, when we come back,” Kelley said.
A little thrill of nerves went through Piper’s stomach .
The stagehand appeared next to them. “Okay, three minutes and you’re on. Anyone need a drink or the bathroom? No? Good.”
“Can we talk about this?” Blake asked. “Please?”
“Not now.”
After the interview, Piper shook hands and smiled and posed for photos all the way to where Romi had her car waiting. She left without looking at Blake, because if she looked at him, she’d want to talk to him. If one word came out, a thousand would follow, and she wasn’t ready. Not yet.
The rest of the week was a flurry of activity that included a shared private jet to New York to do The Late Show , with more rounds of interviews for the morning talk shows, followed by stops in Dallas and Chicago before finally returning to LA.
She sat beside Blake through every question, and they both pretended nothing had happened even when they were asked about it. She maintained a professional, polite attitude when they were in public, and when they were in private, she put on headphones and tried to pretend he didn’t exist.
As the week went on, it grew increasingly difficult to ignore him. Blake obviously wasn’t sleeping. The Night Show host had commented on the dark circles under his eyes. They’d joked that it was due to the constant parties ever since Scorched had topped the box office.
She wasn’t sleeping either, but she’d learned how to hide the evidence so nobody could tell.
She was exhausted and emotionally numb by the time she got home late Friday night.
Being so close to Blake physically hurt. It made her heart jump when she saw him, and when she went back to the hotel alone, she ached from the space between them.
She couldn’t take much more of this, but she wasn’t sure what to do about it. She was set to head back to Nevada on Sunday .
Piper expected to find an empty house since Lizzie had gone back to the Belhurst and Mattie was off to the island for the weekend, but Della met her at the door with a glass of wine and a comforting shoulder to lean on.
They cuddled up on the couch and watched TV, though Piper didn’t pay the show any attention until she realized Della had put on Jake’s Day Off , starring Blake Ryan.
He looked young, bright-eyed, and cocky.
She glanced sideways at her sister. “What are you doing?”
Della blinked with feigned innocence. “Nothing. I like this movie.”
“I thought you were mad at him.”
“I got over it.” Della shrugged and returned her attention to the screen. “I kind of feel for the guy. I’ve been where he is. I’ve been the one you’re giving the freezer treatment to, and it’s not fun.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Have you actually had a conversation with him since the premiere?” Della cocked her chin up. “When you get mad, you spout off like an angry tea kettle. When you’re hurt, though, it’s cold-as-ice silence. Just out of curiosity, did you ever let him have it?”
Piper shook her head. She couldn’t muster the strength to argue with Della because it was all true. She was quick to anger, and quick to let people know about it.
Hurt, though, was much harder to admit, and much harder to heal.
“Think you can forgive him?”
Piper got the feeling that question wasn’t just about Blake. “I’ll get over it. I have to. We still have to work together. Besides, it wasn’t that big of a deal. It just…caught me by surprise. It’s fine. I’m used to being second best.”
“Okay, that’s enough.” Della turned off the movie and faced her. “I’m done letting you think that. What I did to you was beyond selfish, but it was never about you . Dad died and…I was messed up, okay? My head wasn’t on straight. But never did I ever, ever think you were second best, and it’s killing me that you feel that way. So I’m setting the record straight. You hear me?”
Piper stared at her baby sister.
Della had never said it like that before. She’d never mentioned that Daddy’s death had been harder on her than they’d thought. When Piper thought about the timing of it all, it made perfect sense that Della had acted out the way she had. Her heart had broken, and she’d tried to put it back together by going out on her own. She ran away from their grief as a way of not dealing with her own.
The grudge Piper had held for so long melted.
“You know,” Della said, “I could tell when you two sang that love song that it was true. You love each other. Isn’t that worth giving him a second chance?”
“You can’t tell that from a video.”
It had gone viral and had over three million views now. Her next three VIP concerts were already sold out because of it.
“Yes I can. Mattie’s not the only one who notices stuff like that. Y’all think I don’t pay attention, but I do. I’m not that self involved.” Della rolled her eyes. “Besides, I didn’t see the video. I saw it live. I was there. At your VIP show.”
Piper gaped at her sister in disbelief. “No you weren’t.”
“I’ve been to several, actually. I really liked the one you did Christmas before last. The carol sing-along was beautiful.”
Piper’s shock redoubled. Della looked so matter of fact about it that Piper knew she wasn’t lying, but it seemed unbelievable that Della had missed her enough to sneak into her concerts.
She had so many questions.
How many had Della been to? How long had this been going on? Why hadn’t her sister told her, and most of all, why had she come to watch Piper sing at all? The band had broken up. Della had found success without them.
“Why?” It was the only question she managed to say out loud.
“I’ve always loved listening to you sing. Even when I was little, I used to hide behind the couch in the living room when you would practice. It made me happy. Why did you think I wanted to be a singer in the first place?”
Her heart caught. It was an unexpected validation from the last person she ever thought would give it to her. The part of her that had always felt second best untwisted with that one simple sentence.
Why did you think I wanted to be a singer in the first place?
Tears bubbled up in her eyes. Piper’s dream had inspired Della. Her sister had followed her onto that first stage, not the other way around. Yes, Della had stolen the microphone and twirled across the stage with it, but Piper realized now that her little sister had looked back to see what Piper was doing.
She always had.
Whatever the rest of the world thought and how they came to be, Della knew the truth—that Piper was the spark that ignited the Bellamy Sisters, and that eased a lot of the hurt.
Piper brushed tears off her face, but more kept coming. “I…don’t know what to say. I wish…I wish you’d told me, but I suppose I wasn’t ready to hear it.”
She put her arms around Della and squeezed six years worth of missed hugs and apologies into her. “Thank you for coming.”
“Thanks for coming back,” Della whispered. “He made a boneheaded mistake, but is it as bad as the one I made?”
A burble of laughter escaped Piper’s throat. “Not even remotely. Sorry, but yours was epic.”
“That’s me. I do everything over the top.” Della leaned back enough to look her in the eyes. “So maybe give him a chance to make it up to you. Just a chance. If he doesn’t take it, then, well, he’s an idiot.”
“Maybe I will.” She thought about all the ways he could accomplish that, and her heart felt a little lighter.
Saturday was quiet. Too quiet. It was just her and Della and quality time in front of the TV.
She’d turned her phone off and left it that way. She just needed a little space and time to get her head on straight, but by the time she went to bed, she’d had more than enough space.
She could feel Blake out there, somewhere. Was he sleeping? Would he answer the phone if she called?
What would they say?
No need to call now. She’d see him in a few short hours.
Her flight was at six a.m., which left her with three hours to fret about what would happen next.
After tossing, turning, and dozing for maybe two hours, she gave up and went for coffee. Della was asleep in the guest bedroom, and the house was quiet. Just her, the coffee maker, and her thoughts.
She needed to get this awful feeling out of her chest before she drowned in it.
With mug in hand, she padded into her studio and sat in front of the camera she used for her streaming chats. She hadn’t posted since The Incident. Della’s defense of her honor was now a viral meme and the subject of gossip posts on every celebrity website.
Piper’s fans had instigated the online equivalent of a riot in response to the video. The tweets were nonstop and ranged from supportive of Piper to death threats against Blake to a rating of Della’s punching prowess.
Worse were the responses from Blake’s fans. He didn’t have enough online presence to make a huge splash like she did, but the ones who rose up against Della in his defense were brutal. They weren’t just unhappy that her sister had injured their favorite movie star…they were enraged. Their fury directed at Della was scary, and it made Piper uneasy.
Online could go offline to in person so fast. Della had her own security, but if someone was really determined to get even for what she’d done…she didn’t want to think about what might happen. She’d warned Della, but her sister, as usual, just brushed it off.
“Just ignore it,” Della said. “It’ll go away.”
She was right. The best way to handle this kind of mob mentality was to not be part of the mob. She’d learned that the hard way over the years. Anything she posted or said would stoke the flames, even if what she said was it’s okay, let it go.
So she didn’t post anything at all since the premiere, but the mob didn’t show any signs of slowing down. In fact, her silence seemed to egg them on.
She had so many things to say. So much she wanted them to know. She shouldn’t do it, but her fans were what kept her motivated. They were the reason behind everything she did, and without them, she didn’t even know who she was. She had to do it.
She had to talk to her fans.
What was a singer or an actor without people to hear them?
She gathered her resolve and wrapped it like a blanket around her as she clicked the record button.
“Hey,” Piper said with a lift of her mug. “In case you can’t tell, it’s dark thirty outside. I couldn’t sleep and I have an early call time this morning so I thought I’d go ahead and have a chat with you now.”
She took a deep breath to steady herself. “Y’all may have noticed I’ve made a few headlines this past week. Things happened at the premiere for Scorched . Words were said that…we ll it doesn’t matter what was said. It really doesn’t. I want you to know that, above everything else.”
She stared earnestly into the camera, willing those who would see this to believe what she was saying. “I’m okay. I’m over it. I’m moving on.”
She sipped her coffee for a second or two, trying to gather her thoughts. She didn’t have a plan. She just wanted to talk.
She looked thoughtfully at the cup. “I just wanted to say that words have power. They can lift us up, or they can tear us down, if we let them.”
She looked up. “That’s the thing. We have to let them. We get to choose how we react. We can let those words pass on by, if we want. We can toss them away, or shout our own words back. We can get mean and ugly, maybe fight about it. Maybe even punch someone in the face.”
She couldn’t suppress the quick grin at the image that invoked. Her baby sister, punching Blake in the nose, was something she’d never, ever forget. “Or we can let it go. We can realize that everybody says something they don’t mean sometimes. Everybody has a bad day. I know I’ve had a few of those over the years. Hopefully your bad days don’t go viral like mine do.”
She saluted with the coffee mug, then set it down and gathered her knees up to her chest.
“Worse than what other people say are the words we say to ourselves. You know the ones. Those little voices in your head that tell you you’re not good enough or smart enough or rich enough or pretty enough or whatever enough…those are the most dangerous words of all.
“You might think that you’re the only one with that voice, but you aren’t. I have that voice, too. We all have that voice. And it’s so much harder to let that go, isn’t it.”
She took a deep breath and laid her head on her knee. “Does anybody have a trick for combating your own self-hate speech? If you have any tips, can you let me know? Just drop them in the comments, okay? I’ll be watching.
“And for the record, I like Blake Ryan. A lot. I don’t blame him. What he said was, well, it was true in the moment. I had a lot to learn, and I’m grateful he took me under his wing and showed me how to be the best Jewel I could be. He’s a good guy. A great guy. So, you know, maybe cut him some slack.”
She glanced at the clock on the wall. “I have to go. I have work to do today. Thanks for listening, and remember…you totally rock. Always.”
She clicked off, uploaded the post, set it to go live at her usual time, then sat there staring at nothing for a long, long time.