22. Rowan
Rowan
It feels surreal when Seth rolls onto his back and pulls me on top of him.
I close my eyes tightly and bask in the moment—the radiating warmth from his body, his rough fingers digging into my hips, and the soft kisses he plants onto the top of my head.
If I look at him, if I say anything, I’ll ruin the moment, and I still don’t know what this is.
He spent his night trying to get rid of the hex himself, for me, but was it enough?
“You’re overthinking,” he whispers into my hair.
My heart skips a beat. I spend most of my life ruminating on things I shouldn’t, but it’s rare for anyone to point it out… to care. To see me.
“Oh?” I plant a kiss on his chest. “How can you tell?”
“I know you.”
He knows me well enough that he can read my mind without using the cues from my face, apparently. I finally lift my head, meeting his gaze even though it feels like a tender thing to do. With my chest still pressed to his, there’s no way we could get closer.
“I’ve thought about this for a long time.” I chuckle. “Well… not exactly this.”
“What do you mean?” He tucks a piece of my hair—which is half-hanging over my shoulders, the style ruined—behind my ear. “You never daydreamed about me tittyfucking—”
“Don’t ruin the moment.” But I’m laughing. It’s so easy to let go of my worries when I’m with him. He makes me laugh more than anyone else.
He presses his lips to mine, swallowing my joy with a tender kiss.
“This is all I’ll ever think about now,” he says against my mouth.
I’m all he’ll think about.
Unbelievable.
A few weeks ago, the idea would have sounded impossible rather than improbable. Seth thinking of me at all, much less claiming I’m the only one… so strange. My conversation with David, not to mention their past friends-with-benefits situation, creeps into my mind even when I don’t want it to.
Seth is sweet-talking me, but is he genuine?
“Really?” I nuzzle my nose against his. “Just me?”
“Only you.” He closes his eyes. “I know I haven’t been able to commit to anything serious in a while, maybe ever, but it’s different with you.”
I roll my eyes and try to move off him. “I bet you say that to everyone.”
Seth’s firm grip keeps me in place, his powerful arms wrapping around my back. “No. And I don’t mean it like some romantic thing, really, but… You know my family. My mom. My sisters. You understand.”
When he opens his eyes again, he peers at me earnestly and loosens his hold. I could move, but I don’t. How could I spend so long praying for this closeness only to push it away the moment I get it?
It would be a hex in and of itself. I won’t make that mistake.
“Everything that kept me from being serious before doesn’t exist with you.” The lump in his throat bobs.
I stroke the side of his face. “Doesn’t that scare you?”
“Little bit.” His lips tug up at the corner, and he pinches his fingers together. “But I’ll get over it. I care about you, and—I know it’s different with you.”
That can’t be sweet talk, can it? It’s not charming. It’s real.
My heart is pounding out of my chest, and I want to tell him everything—that I love him.
The exact moment I fell in love with him.
We were still teenagers, and when no one was buying my badly made knitted items at the craft fair, he scraped everything he had together to buy what I now recognize as the ugliest scarf.
And he wore it every winter until I finally made him a new one. A better one, in my opinion.
“I trust you,” I say instead. “Trust is a gift, and it can be taken back easily. Do not break it.”
“I won’t. Ever.” He holds my face in his hands and presses his nose to the side of my cheek, inhaling deeply. “I never wanted to be an asshole—to anyone. Not Dave, or Scarlet… I tried my best. But I’m going to try harder now. For you. You’re my best friend.”
“No, I’m not—”
“You are.” He kisses me, silencing any further interruptions—of which there would be many.
Try as I might, I’m still carrying all the fears I’ve been trying to put down.
There’s so much said in those soft kisses, pressed to my mouth again and again.
Until they deepen into something more. Not flaming hot, but molten lava.
I move lower, even as he lets out a frustrated sigh, and I rub my core—no longer throbbing and overstimulated—against his stiff length.
My arousal is still plentiful enough to coat him.
I continue shifting my hips until he’s rubbing against my clit.
He grabs my hips and guides me through the motions as we kiss. Never entering. Never pushing past whatever boundary still exists between us. Each moan, each huffed breath, feels like pleasure rushing through me.
After so long apart, I’m able to make him feel like this.
Sitting up, I search the bed for his pants until I find his belt, which I look at slowly… and then him.
His lips part. “What are you thinking, beautiful?”
The pet name likely means nothing, but to hear Seth, of all people, call me beautiful… it boosts my confidence.
I bite my lower lip. “I’m thinking that you seemed to enjoy pleasing me, did you not?”
He nods slowly. “You want to use me, don’t you?”
My heart stops for a second, I swear, and only the hunger in his eyes can bring me back to life. He pins his wrists over his head and smirks. Never did I think I would have Seth Bautista beneath me, asking to be bound.
“Yes. That is, if you don’t mind.”
He chuckles. “Don’t get shy on me now. Take what you want.”
I swallow and nod thickly. “Safe word?”
“Traffic lights.”
“Works for me.”
I do my best to stand strong in my confidence as I wrap the belt around his wrists, looping it with expertise.
This isn’t my first time experimenting, being on either end of dominance and submission, but it’s different with Seth looking up at me from the most pleading, perfect brown eyes and thrusting beneath me—never enough to slip in, just enough to tease.
“Be a good boy for me,” I whisper into his ear, dragging my nails down his neck, “and I may let you come again.”
He shivers. “Just use me. I want you to come on my dick. Please, Ro.”
It’s too easy to sink onto him, moving a hand between my thighs to line him up before I take him, inch by inch. His eyes widen and flicker, his lower lip trembling as I take him deeper still. Seth never looks away. Somehow, that eye contact is the confirmation I need that this is different for him.
This is more than sex.
His fingers flex, but he keeps his hands in place, and having him just where I want him… finally…
I let out a soft moan, rolling my hips forward. “Don’t you move.”
“Yes. Anything.”
“Don’t come without permission.”
“Yes.”
He remains perfectly still as I roll my hips into him again and again, rolling my fingers over my clit. Each move elicits a cry from my lips, and my mind goes blank as pleasure threatens to take me again.
“That’s it, beautiful. You look so perfect on top of me. Should have had you like this all alone.”
I nod, my eyes closing as I bounce, thighs jiggling and breasts bouncing.
“Keep going. Just like that. Rub your clit harder.”
“Yes. Yes.”
He’s in no place to be giving me demands, but I let him, too lost in pleasure to remind him of the position he’s in. I press harder, just as he demanded, and I’m trembling within moments.
“Close,” I whimper. “So close.”
“Choke me.”
The words nearly bring me to a standstill, my eyes widening a fraction—but my body seems to move without thought, my free hand wrapping carelessly, without pressure, around his neck as I unravel, collapsing on top of him.
He thrusts into me, his hands still above his head as he grunts.
“You,” I say harshly, “you’d better not come. I’m not done yet.”
Though my weak body and heavy bones would disagree with the statement.
He chuckles, so unlike the sweet laughter I’m used to coming from him. “Don’t worry, beautiful. I’m not done with you. Let me loose.”
I force myself upright, watching him through sleepy lids. He’s still hard, still bound, still so good. I bite my lip between my teeth and lean forward, my breasts in his face as I unbind him.
He takes a nipple into his mouth and bites down—hard. That’s the first sign that we’re switching roles. Everything about him, about us, makes so much sense when he takes the belt in his hand and rolls me onto my back.
I look up at him with wide eyes.
“Tell me what you like. Do you want me to keep being a good boy? I can do that.”
“I—”
He leans closer, his breath against my neck as he speaks. “Or do you want me to take you hard? Smack this belt against your ass? Fuck you until you’re sore tomorrow?”
I can’t remember the last time I let someone be in this position, but giving myself to Seth feels… right.
“Yes. That. Yes, please.”
“And you’re going to be good for me now?”
There’s a weak pulse between my legs as he pushes his body against mine, his weight grounding me. “Yes. I’ll be good.”
“That’s fucking right.” He bites on my neck hard enough to leave a mark. “You won’t come until I say so, right?”
“I—yes.”
“And if you do?”
“I want you to punish me.” My voice comes out softer than intended, breathy. “With the belt.”
“Only if you want me to.” He meets my gaze with a serious expression, and I nod.
The smile on his face nearly feels out of place as he presses his forehead to mine and pushes in, giving me everything at once. Every inch. He’s everywhere. My breaths are gasps as he fucks into me, slower than I thought he would, rolling his hips and grinding his length into just the right spot.
I’ve never been so close to coming so quickly, never been close to coming at all from penetration alone, but—how does he already know my body so well?
“I feel you squeezing around me,” he says. “But you can’t let go yet. Not until I say so.”
I whimper. Somehow, his words only push me closer to the edge—but I can resist. I will. I’m nothing if not an overachiever, and I want more of his praise. Each thrust is painfully slow, and when he snakes a hand between us to rub my clit, I can barely feel it.
It shouldn’t be enough to send me over the edge.