Chapter 13
13
AVA
T he sun set about an hour ago, and the temperature is approaching zero. That’s not enough to chase the people of Mystic Hollows away, though. We’re all made of sturdier stuff. Not to mention there are several massive fires burning. Large outdoor heaters have also been set up around the beach to add additional warmth. People are making smores around the fires and the hot chocolate has booze in it now.
We all got roped into helping at one point or another today. Stellan’s been on school duty for most of the day and the rest of our friends have been assisting with the activities as well. Bram disappeared a few times, but I’ve taken concussion watch seriously and make sure to check in on him every now and again. Now that the games and competitions are done, there’s nothing left to do but enjoy the fire and have a few drinks. Josephine hooks her arm through mine as we stand in front of the orange flames, soaking in the heat.
The simple gesture makes me smile. She still hesitates to touch people sometimes, as if she doesn’t believe her curse is really gone for good. I get it. As fucked up as our pasts are, I wouldn’t trust that my curse would stay gone. I’d be waiting every day for it to pop back into existence. That would be the perfect kind of torture. Just when you think you’re free, nope, you’re sucked back into the pits of hell.
“You and Bram looked cozy earlier.”
My eyes drift over the fire where Roman and Bram are talking with Ambrose and Penelope. Josephine's little sister is holding court, and the others are listening good-naturedly. Even Bram. Like me, Penelope is also roasting a marshmallow. Is it a good idea for my buzzed ass to be playing with fire? Probably not, but my stomach is growling, and I want something sweet.
“Nothing cozy. Just some aggressive broom hockey and a slight concussion.”
I take a sip of my Schnapps infused hot chocolate. The drink is only lukewarm, but the booze leaves a trail of heat down into my stomach. I might be a little drunk.
“Oh, is that why you were running your fingers through his hair?”
“Yes, obviously. I was feeling for a bump.” I turn to one of my oldest friends and sag into her side. “He’s really hot, Jo. Too hot. Like, what am I doing running my fingers through his hair? No doubt the only reason he let me is because he has a brain injury.”
“Please. Bram should be so lucky to have you touching him.” Okay, Jo’s drunk too. Good to know. “You’re beautiful, smart and funny. Also, a little scary sometimes when people are mean to your friends. But I love that for you. And for us. You’re a badass bitch.”
I snort. “I think you’re confusing me with someone else. I haven’t stood up to my creep of a boss and I’ve basically dipped out of my parents’ life because I don’t want to have a big confrontation.” I toss back the rest of my drink.
Great, now I’m depressing myself.
And my marshmallow is on fire.
I yank it back from the flames and blow it out. Jo helpfully traps my marshmallow between two graham crackers and a square of chocolate, and pulls the nearly charred goo off my long fork.
“No. You were brave enough to get away from that harmful relationship. I was my mother’s puppet for so long it’s gross to think about.”
“Only because you were protecting Penelope. Come on. I had to walk in on my boyfriend screwing someone else to finally leave that toxic waste dump.”
“Hey, Ava, do you have time to talk now?”
Speak of the fucking devil. Jamie walks up on the other side of Jo. Her eyes are wide and she’s fighting laughter. Well shit, did he hear what I just said? Actually, why do I care? I only spoke the truth. It’s not like I made anything up.
Josephine squeezes my arm and raises her brows so high her eyes are wide like an owl. I look down at my smores and hand it over to Jo with a pout.
“Here. I’ll make another in a few minutes.” I can’t be dignified with white sticky stuff all over my face.
Why did my mind just flash to an image of Bram grinning down at me while I’m on my knees in front of him. Mother, Maiden and Crone, I need help. Josephine takes my snack and my empty cup with a shake of her head.
“You should tell him to fuck off,” she mumbles under her breath.
I know I should, but I’m too damn curious. What does Jamie want? Why come find me after months of ignoring me. How does he even remember me?
I follow Jamie to the edge of the party where the light from the fire doesn’t quite reach. We’re next to the booth that sells hot chocolate, and it smells delicious. It’s much colder away from the fires, and I hug my arms around myself, like that’s going to do any good. The sky is so clear tonight, there’s a million stars twinkling above, but all that is ruined when Jamie opens his mouth.
“I’ve missed you, Ava.”
I lower my head from gazing at the stars and stare at my ex. “What?”
“Don’t act so surprised. We were good together. We had years of good times, didn’t we?” It’s hard to make out Jamie’s face in the dim lighting, but I see his teeth when he flashes me a smile.
His words resurface all the hurt I’ve been trying to get over these past months. I thought we were good together too, or at least I’d convinced myself we were okay. We didn’t go out with his friends or mine much, but I told myself that we had our own bubble, and I was good with a quiet kind of relationship. I didn’t need anything showy or demonstrative. We had somewhat decent sex on a semi-regular basis. Sure, it was a little boring and I never, like, ever finished, but it was fine.
Except, the longer I’ve been away from the relationship, the more I realize Jamie didn’t make me laugh. He didn’t give me butterflies in my stomach. When we first started dating I was like, wow, someone chose me. But I always felt like I was just there. A pet girlfriend who was quietly ensconced at home while Jamie went out and did stuff with other people. I didn’t realize how unsatisfied I was until it was forced in my face along with his intern’s tits.
“Why are you telling me this?” Is he in some twelve-step program and it’s on his list to apologize to me? He hasn’t really said he’s sorry though, has he?
Jamie reaches out and squeezes my arm. “I miss us. I miss having you there when I get home at night. Knowing you’ll be there if I need anything.” Every word is about how his life has been impacted. It has nothing to do with my feelings.
“What about the girl?” I hate that I’m even asking. I should tell Jamie to choke on a bag of dicks, spin away from him with a toss of my hair and my middle finger raised to the sky.
“She was a mistake. A momentary blip.”
A blip. Right. “You just happened to blip right into her vagina.”
“Really, Ava. You’re making me feel so bad. That makes me feel horrible. Don’t say things like that.”
These words bring back a rush of familiar sensation. The gaslighting. As if my feelings aren’t important, except for how when I express them, they make him feel bad. How many times in the past has Jamie scolded me for making him feel terrible when I brought up a legitimate problem? It made every conversation rife with land mines. I never knew when I’d step on one with a topic that should have been harmless. I don’t want that in my life anymore.
“How do you remember me?” I’m not about to apologize to him, and I really don’t want to think about his cheating anymore. I’m curious about how he remembers me, though. Jamie knows what my curse is. I hate that he does, but I foolishly trusted him when we first got together. I needed him to know that he would forget me if we didn’t see each other often enough.
“I’d never forget you, Ava.” He squeezes my shoulder.
“You’re just immune to my curse now?”
“I…” He flounders. “It's just our connection–”
“–I'm not sorry for interrupting. I need my concussion specialist.” Bram’s voice startles me enough that I jump back from Jamie’s reach.
“Did you just say you’re not sorry?” Jamie’s mouth is pulled back in a scowl. His white teeth are almost the only thing I can see in the dark.
“Yes. Go away.”
I stifle a laugh, and Jamie’s head snaps around to look at me. “Really, Ava, you think this is funny?”
“Yes. I like when he’s rude to other people.” Just not to me.
“We’re not done talking.” Jamie reaches for me again, but Bram steps in between us, blocking his way. I poke my head around Bram’s shoulder.
“We’re done. Thanks for the chat. I needed a good reminder of why I’m better off without you.”
“Now you’re just showing off. Do you really think he wants someone like you?” Jamie throws back at me. He takes a step forward, but Bram’s large frame is intimidating enough that he rethinks the move. “That you would ever be hot enough for him? Maybe he’ll fuck you out of pity, but don’t fool yourself, Ava.”
I feel dirty knowing he’s touched me in the past, like I need a shower. That feeling is closely edged out by embarrassment. I would never think someone like Bram would want me. I have eyes. I know I’m a frumpy, mousy mess most of the time. He’s a walking bastion of male virility.
“Did you hit your head too? Because the shit spewing from your mouth is nonsense,” I say through gritted teeth, but it lacks bite.
Jamie stomps off, grumbling something under his breath.
Bram spins around and we’re chest to chest. Well, not really. More like head to chest. I crane my neck to look at him, but it’s so dark I can barely make out a glint in his eye. He steps forward, pushing my body into the side of the stand. It’s more of a wooden shack that’s used to sell refreshments to resort patrons in the summer. His hand lands on a plank of wood next to my head, and he leans down until his eyes are level with mine.
“He was spewing nonsense.” I don’t want Bram to think I believe he wants to have sex with me. I’m not delusional.
“That guy is a dick.”
“I know.” I huff indignantly. He doesn’t need to tell me. I’m the one who dated the man-boy for too fucking long.
“Then why bother talking to him?” Bram’s face is so close to mine, his breath ghosts over my lips. He smells like chocolate, like he’s been eating smores by the fire. He’s so close there’s not even room for the Crone between us. His body is so big I feel dainty for possibly the first time in my life.
“Why do you care?” It takes concentration to get the question out. What is this? It can’t be…jealousy. The thought is laughable. There’s no way Bram has any feelings outside of friendship for me. Even friendship is pushing it.
Right?
“I don’t. I’ve just seen him ignore you, and now he decides you’re worthy of his attention. Don’t you have any self-respect.”
I push at Bram’s chest, shoving him away, but he barely budges an inch. “Screw you. That was my curse. I don’t know why he suddenly remembers me. It’s probably because I’m that fucking amazing, and even magic can’t stop him from thinking about what he threw away.” I’m talking out of my asshole. As if I believe any of that about myself, but fuck Bram. “And no, I have very little self-respect. Thank you very much. That’s why I don’t mind hanging out with you.”
I have every intention of slipping out under his arm and stomping off in a movie-esque scene of glory, but Bram rips my hat off and tosses it to the ground. Before I can protest, he grabs a handful of my hair and yanks my head back. My lips part in surprise, but the sound doesn’t have the chance to escape because Bram’s mouth is on mine.
I freeze, too stunned to react for a solid second. Then the world kicks back into gear, and I lose my mind. I kiss Bram back like a starved succubus who’s gotten her first taste of lust in years. And Maiden help me, he is everything I never even imagined. His mouth is hot, his lips searching and desperate. He kisses me like I’ve brought him back from the brink of death, and I’m giving as good as I’m getting. My magic swells in my chest, burning to a bright gold. Even more crazy is the way I feel his power reaching out to caress mine. All I can do is hang on to the front of his coat and hope my knees don’t give out.
All those butterflies Jamie never gave me, well, an entire continent has migrated into my belly.
Nearby laughter breaks through our bubble. Bram jerks away from me with a suddenness that has me stumbling. It’s too dark to see his expression, but there’s no missing the way his hand wipes over his mouth.
All those butterflies turn into rocks and sink in my stomach.
“That was a mistake.” Bram’s voice is full of gravel. He turns away from me. I think he’s about to stomp away, but he stops. Barely turning his head to look over his shoulder, he jerks his chin toward the party. “You shouldn’t be out here in the dark by yourself.”
“Right. Never know what monsters are lurking.” I swipe my hat up off the ground and slam it down on my head. We walk back to our friends in silence. The bite in the air is colder now, but my cheeks are hot. Bram and I break apart once we reach the light. He heads to Ambrose, and I find Stellan and Odie signing so fast I can’t keep up.
“Can you take me home?”
Stellan is too observant, and the second he looks at me, his gaze swings around the beach. “Which asshole?”
“Please. As if you’d ever really get in a fight with anyone. That’s a nice flex, bro, but we both know you’re a pacifist.”
Odie signs slowly. Stellan picked up ASL like a fucking pro, but I’m still learning.
“Did Bram do something?” Her eyes drift over to her friend. I try not to look, but lit by the fire, he looks like a devil. A hot, tempt you to shuck all your morals to the side for a taste of ecstasy kind of devil, but still. His aura is nearly completely taken over by the dark shadows.
“Why does his aura always look like he’s part wraith?” Stellan grumbles.
Odie’s signing something, but I’m not paying attention. Bram’s gray eyes find mine across the fire and hold my stare. The heat that was finally cooling in my cheeks comes raging back.
He wiped my kiss off his mouth.
He’s the one who kissed me, though.
“Dick,” I mouth at Bram, and he narrows his eyes.
“Shrew,” he mouths back.
I jump when Stellan’s hand lands on my shoulder. “You want to go home?”
I drag my eyes away, certain the shadows have momentarily disappeared from Bram’s aura.
“Yeah, please.” I’ve been drinking and Stellan stayed sober. There are a lot of his work associates here today. After one notorious school holiday party, he vowed to never drink around coworkers. I’ve never gotten the full story out of him, but I understand it involved table dancing and costume changes pilfered from a photo booth.
We say goodbye to Odie but sneak out without finding the rest of our friends. I’ll send them a text later. I’m ready to get out of here and I don’t want to spend the next thirty minutes saying goodbye.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I preemptively tell Stellan when we get in the car. He obliges and turns up the radio. My feet are dragging by the time we get to the apartment. I’m ready to get out of the layers of clothing, wash my face, and fall into bed.
I hang up my coat, kick off my shoes, and head toward the bathroom, trying to block out the events of the day. It was great, then it sucked, then it was great again, only to turn to utter shit at the end. Flipping on the bathroom lights, I’m stopped short in the doorway. Sitting on top of the toilet, holding a wad of toilet paper, is the fucking doll. It has a stupid, placid grin, and its head is angled toward the door so it’s looking right at me with wide eyes.
How the hell did he do that? Did he leave the carnival and come here? He had to. When, though? He was gone for a while after broom hockey. Did he really drive across town just to put the doll on my toilet?
My phone buzzes and it’s another fucking nipple picture. I’m going to kill Bram. I groan in frustration. I’m so fucking confused. When we’re together, there’s a spark between us. I don’t think I’m imagining it. But then he wiped his mouth after he kissed me. As if it was that horrible. I sniffle and grit my teeth to keep from crying, but I’m also angry, so it’s making it extra hard not to turn into a blathering mess.
My phone buzzes again, and I almost don’t look at it. Curiosity gets the better of me. What color nipple am I going to get this time?
Except it’s not another hairy chest. It’s worse.
Jamie: It was so good seeing you tonight. I would love to catch up. Maybe coffee sometime soon?
I gape down at my phone. Were we at the same place earlier? Does he not remember what happened literally an hour ago?
Fuck it. I’m going to bury my head under my pillows and block out the world for a solid eight hours. I turn my phone to silent and get ready for bed. Only I can’t sleep once I’m under the covers. All I can think about is the way Bram kissed me and how he disgustedly wiped his mouth after. I have to see him on Monday and pretend nothing happened.
I slap a pillow over my face to muffle the groan.