Chapter 19
19
AVA
T he office has a slight funk to it when I walk inside. I just know my boss has been having a fart-palooza in here while I was gone. I haven’t seen Barty in close to a week, and I’m starting to get nervous. After seeing my dad earlier, all I really want is to put on my pajamas and huddle under a blanket while I binge watch TV, but I can’t lose my job.
I start by printing off all of Barty’s emails and sort them into two piles before I take them back to his office. My boss is on the phone, obviously with his wife, because he’s telling her what he wants for dinner tonight. Very important stuff. I set the emails on his desk, and he gives me a confused look that has my heart dropping. It hasn’t even been a week. Has he already forgotten who I am? He frowns at me and waves me away. Oh, thank the Crone, he remembers me.
My hands are shaking as I leave his office. I flop down into my seat and stare up at the ceiling while I collect myself. Fuck this fucking curse. Barty isn’t even someone I care about. In the scheme of things, I could give two shits if he forgets who I am, except for the fact that I need this job. I’m so tired of everything related to this curse. My whole life, I’ve felt insignificant. My family treats me as if the curse is my fault. Like I had a choice in all of this. It’s as if this curse has been perfectly tailored to my biggest insecurities.
That I’m not worth remembering.
I spend the next hour cleaning up my inbox and doing a few other tasks before my boss leaves with barely a word, except to slam a to-do list on my desk. I finish with the items as quickly as possible and say fuck it to everything else. It can wait.
I consider stopping for Chinese on the way home, but even that feels like too much work. I’ll probably eat a block of cheese and some crackers with my Diet Coke. That’s the most effort I can muster up tonight.
Stellan has an all-school assembly tonight. Some band, choir combo that all the staff help out with. So he’s not home when I walk into the apartment. I throw on a pair of oversized sweats and a hoodie I can drown in. I flip on the TV to where I left off on Bridgerton. My butt just barely hits the couch when there’s a knock on the door.
“No.” I throw my head back. I haven’t even gotten my block of cheese out yet. I look at the fluffy pillows beside me and consider ignoring the knock when it comes again.
“Fine, I’m coming,” I grumble under my breath and open the door, only to find Bram on the other side.
“Are you looking for your brother?” Roman has essentially moved in with Josephine for all intents and purposes. Josephine, Stellan and Piper all lived in the same building for the past few years. I only moved in with Stellan after Jamie and I broke up. Piper lives upstairs and Josephine's apartment is on the other side of the hall. It’s like one big happy commune with all of us in the same apartment building.
“I do understand the difference between apartment one and two,” Bram says before holding up two bags of food. The smell hits me and my stomach audibly growls.
“I brought a peace offering. Can I come in?”
He looks way too cheerful. When he cocks his head, a hint of glitter sparkles back at me.
“What's the peace offering for?” If anything, I’m the one who should apologize for the most recent prank, but my phone chirps on the counter and there’s no way. He deserves all the glitter dicks in the world for the stupid messages. “How do I know you haven’t added laxatives or something to make me vomit?”
Bram’s face screws up in disgust. “Because I’m not a masochist; why would I want to watch that?” He shrugs, a hint of a smile tipping up his lips. “Besides, maybe it’s an apology for all the nipple pics.”
“Ha! I knew that was your fault. Why are they even coming to me?” I jam my finger into his hard chest and immediately snatch my hand back. I really should keep my hands to myself.
Bram doesn’t comment on my touch, but his lips twitch. “I put a post on Craigslist.”
My mouth hangs open. “Is that still a thing?’
“Obviously. People still need to find roommates and a third for their marriage.” Bram’s smiling so wide, I spot his dimple. Damn, it’s disarming. A man this dark and stormy shouldn’t have a dimple.
I snort and hold the door wide to invite him in. “I’m going to start forwarding them to you. If I have to see them, you should suffer too. These are not male model nipples. FYI.”
Bram heads over to the couch and sets the bags on the coffee table. His dark hair shimmers when he turns to stare at me. “I had to take three showers and I’m still sparkling.”
I cackle and head to the kitchen to grab a drink. “Still not even. Coke, water, or beer?” I call out.
“Coke, please.”
I peek over at Bram and find him pulling out containers of food. It’s Chinese. Damn, did he read my mind? I grab a few napkins and join him on the couch with our drinks.
“I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got an assortment of stuff.”
I peer down at the takeout boxes and my stomach growls loudly. “I like all of it.” I grab the box of noodles and press it to my chest like a dragon with treasure. The chopsticks are poised in front of my mouth when I turn and stare contemplatively at Bram.
“I’m going to need you to eat this first.”
“What? Why?” Bram scoffs.
“I told you, laxatives. Bugs? I don’t know how far your perversion goes.”
Bram rolls his eyes and opens his mouth. I’m struck dumb, mesmerized by the fact that he’s waiting for me to feed him. He did it at the bakery earlier today too, and I almost combusted when he licked my finger. I don’t care if it was an accident, it was hot.
I hold out the bite, doubtful he’s really going to let me feed him. He leans in and eats the noodles. His thumb brushes against the corner of his mouth to catch the extra sauce. Why is that so damn attractive?
“How long are you going to wait to see if I croak?”
I shovel a bunch of noodles into my mouth. “I’m good,” I mumble and then swallow. “I guess if this is a set-up, at least you’ll be a victim too.”
Bram shakes his head and picks up another box before settling back onto the couch. His eyes drift up to the TV, where regency dancers spin around a ballroom. “What are you watching?”
“Do I hear judgment in your tone? I’m watching a show in my own house.” I steal a piece of chicken from his box. When I go for a second one, he uses his chopstick like a sword to stop me.
“Not judging. Just curious.”
I huff, because I definitely hear judgment in his tone. We’re quiet while we eat, and the couple on screen awkwardly flirts and tries to pretend they aren’t into each other.
“Are you okay after seeing your dad today?” Bram sets down his empty container and opens up his Coke with a pop and a hiss.
“Yeah.” I keep my eyes fixed to the screen, where a lot of intense eye contact is going on between the two leads.
“Lie.”
My head swivels around. Bram looks relaxed, slumped back on the couch. He’s changed out of his suit from earlier and is wearing a pair of jeans and a faded Prince T-shirt. His normally clean-shaven face is sporting a five o’clock shadow. His aura is a calm blue, and despite how agitated he was in his office earlier today, he looks more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him.
I set my noodles down and grab my drink to have something to do with my hands.
“It’s always stressful seeing my dad. We don’t have the best relationship.”
“I get that. My dad and I aren’t exactly close either. You and Stellan have a good relationship, though, right?”
“Yeah. He’s honestly the best. He doesn’t treat me like I’m incapable of doing things, like my parents. But he’s not afraid to protect me if I need it.”
“You need protection from your parents?” A spike of emotion from Bram hits me. My magic allows me to read auras, but in some extreme situations, I feel the actual emotions from others. Normally, I have to concentrate really hard for that to happen. With no effort at all, I sense Bram’s emotions. They’re practically slapping me in the face. He’s that angry.
“No. Well, maybe when I was younger, but I moved out as soon as I graduated high school. Parents are really good at still holding on to control over you even when you’re out of their house, but I’m pretty stubborn too. I see them because I don’t want to be forgotten by the people who I share genetic material with, but that’s usually the extent of our interactions. Stellan sees them more than me, because he’s a sucker and feels bad for my mom. She’s been manipulated and molded by my father over the years, until she’s become his perfectly compliant little minion.”
“You don’t feel bad for her?”
I stare into Bram’s gray eyes, wondering if he thinks I’m a horrible person because I’ve written my mom off. A spike of pain hits me, and I frown at the emotion. I don’t know if it’s his hurt or mine.
“I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve tried to convince my mom to leave him over the years. I know she’s sick. She’s been mentally abused for a long time, but I can’t kidnap her. She has to want to leave. My brother and her don’t speak of my father; it’s an understanding between them, but I just…can’t. I can’t spend time with her while she parrots my father’s thoughts and shames me for not listening to him. It’s off limits for me to speak to her about how fucked up my dad is, but she can try to manipulate me into seeing his perspective. For my own sanity, I’ve had to stay away from her.” I gnaw on my lip, getting emotional about it. No one wants to just cut off a relationship, but if she doesn’t want help, what am I supposed to do?
Bram twists the tab on the top of his can. “Everything I remember about my mom is that she was kind and loving.” Another spike of that pain hits me. I search Bram’s face, but it’s an emotionless mask. “The fact that she got messed up with my father has always been mind-boggling.”
“I’m sorry. It really makes you question things, doesn’t it.”
Bram’s eyes grow distant. “She had a curse too. It ate away at her like a cancer. That’s ultimately how she died. She was only five years older than I am now. I think about that a lot.”
My heart aches, and I close my eyes for a long moment.
“Fuck the curses.” I reach out and squeeze Bram’s hand and then panic. What am I thinking? He doesn’t want me to touch him. Except his fingers close around mine and hold tight.
Well, shit. How long should I hold on? Should I let go first or wait for him? My hand is starting to sweat. Why can’t I just be normal?
Bram pulls his hand free before my brain explodes.
“Wait, so that guy’s totally into the redhead, right?”
I look back at the TV, feeling a little lightheaded. “Yeah. Totally into her.”