Chapter 30
30
AVA
I t’s been eight days since I’ve seen Bram. He's probably forgotten me by now. That’s for the best. I’ve been communicating with the kitchen staff at the resort to finalize the menu and have booked the band on my own. Today’s supposed to be a day off, but instead I’m dress shopping.
“Why do I have to buy a new dress?” I whine as we walk into another store. We’ve already been to three different shops, and I want to die. I’m not a good shopper. I prefer to buy stuff online, find out it doesn’t fit, and let it fester in my closet, never to be worn until I finally donate it three years later.
Like a normal person.
“Because the masquerade has a fairytale theme, and nothing you own will work.” Josephine informs me as if I’m not the one planning the fucking party.
“Fine, let’s get this over with.”
This shop is owned by a witch who’s prepared to dress the coven for the party. She has a huge selection of masks displayed on the wall. Everything inside is formal, but it runs the gamut from couture to recycled.
“Do you know what kind of costume you want?” Josephine pushes open the door and holds it until we’re all inside.
“I don’t know. Is there a fairytale where the main character is forgotten by everyone who knows her?”
Piper can’t mask her emotions for shit. Worry is stamped all over her face.
“Just kidding.” I wave her off, but she’s not convinced. She’s right not to be. Ever since the night at the diner, I have not been okay.
I knew better. I straight up lied to Bram, telling him I was good with casual. I’d already caught feelings before we started screwing each other. In the literal sense. Figuratively too, I guess. I told him I didn’t want anything more and we could just scratch an itch. Maybe I’d convinced myself of that a little bit too. I’m such a liar. If my feelings weren't fully invested, I wouldn’t be moping so much.
“I have the perfect costume for you.” Shayla McGill, the owner of the store, sweeps in from the back room. She’s tall and fashionably slim with shoulder-length brown hair that’s starting to gray. She’s wearing what I would consider formal business attire, but maybe that’s what she thinks her clients expect from her. She’s a bit vapid, but overall harmless when it comes to the witches in our coven. I doubt she even knows how shitty our coven council is. “We have this Greek Goddess dress that represents Lethe.”
“Lethe?” Josephine asks. I’m equally confused. I’m not up on my Greek mythology.
“The river of forgetting. If you drink from the river Lethe, then you’ll forget everything about yourself.”
“Oh. I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Piper is playing with the edges of her scarf. Her blood red hair is mostly hidden beneath a knitted hat. It’s pulled so low her eyes are almost covered too.
I step forward and unzip my coat. “Actually, that’s perfect. Time to embrace my future.”
“Ava.” My friends protest, but I cut them off.
“I’d love to see it.”
Shayla grins and heads to the back of the store. “You won’t be disappointed.”
“Too late for that,” I mumble to myself.
“I just got this in and haven’t put it out yet. Something was holding me back. Maybe it was you. I always said I have a bit of premonition magic. I just know things, you know.” She returns with a swath of fabric draped over her arms. “Like this one time, in high school, I told Emma, my friend, that her boyfriend was cheating on her. I was right.”
I hum noncommittally and eye the cloth in her hands. The gown is silvery blue, almost shimmering, and somehow looking like liquid. When she holds it up, there’s a silver breastplate that reminds me of armor.
“Holy shit.” Odie signs, and I nod in agreement. I don’t care if this dress is about being forgotten. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“Right?” Shayla nods. “I can see this is the one for you. I feel it, in my bones.”
Shayla might be full of shit, but I really want her to be right about this.
“You have to try it on.” Josephine grins at me. I’m the only one who hasn’t found my dress. They have to be as annoyed with me as I am with myself.
“Yeah.” I head toward the dressing room and start shedding layers as Shayla shows me how the dress goes on. The dress itself is so thin I’m afraid one strong finger poke, and I’ll rip a hole through it.
“It’s more durable than you think. It’s been magicked to create the water-like effect and fortified not to tear.”
Normally, I’m not all about getting naked in front of strangers, but I want to put this dress on. The dress itself is loose and falls to the ground in gorgeous drapes.
“This looks like metal, but it’s actually leather. It’s still a bit constricting, but you’ll be able to breathe at least.” She hands me the breastplate and I hold it against my chest and stomach while she moves around back to lace me in. It’s essentially a corset that lifts and yet doesn’t make my boobs look like they're going to fall out. There are no mirrors in the dressing room, which is fucking mean. On the other side of the curtain is a sitting room with a couch, chairs, and more mirrors than a ballet studio.
I step out into the room to a series of gasps. I immediately turn around to hide in the dressing room. Odie grabs my arm and pulls me back out to Jo and Piper, who are protesting my escape.
There’s a small platform in the center of the room. Odie leads me there, and I step up and face the mirrors. Staring back at me is a beautiful woman full of strength and determination.
I immediately burst into tears.
“Ava.” Josephine and Piper launch themselves off the couch, but then hover around me like they aren’t sure if it’s okay to touch me in this dress. Shayla takes a few uncomfortable steps away. “I’ll just be out here. Let me know when you’re…ah…ready…need help.” She walks away without bothering to finish the sentence.
Piper lays a hand on my arm. I lift my head from my hands and Odie signs. “I’ll slip some poison in his coffee.”
I shake my head. I haven’t mentioned anything to my friends about me and Bram. Honestly, it’s embarrassing that I told him we could just be fuck buddies. They know me too well and would have tried to convince me what a horrible idea that was. Sure, it’s the truth, but I didn’t want anyone to tell me that.
“Who?” I force a laugh and wipe away my tears.
Odie raises a blonde brow in disbelief. I shrug off Piper’s hand and roll my shoulders back. I fix the corset and smooth my hands down the fabric at my hips.
“Ava. We know something is going on between you and Bram.” Josephine’s the one who finally comes out and says what I know they’re all thinking.
“There really isn’t.” I ignore all their gazes. It’s not a lie. Bram made it very clear the other night that we’re done. Tears start pouring down my face again.
For the first time in my life, I think I want my curse to kick in. For everyone to leave me alone to my misery and forget I exist.
“I’m such an idiot.”
“What happened?” Piper probes.
Standing there in my beautiful dress, feeling like I’m clothed in armor, I rip myself open. “We decided to just do the casual thing with each other. I guess I became too invested.” I shrug like it’s no big deal.
“No.” Josephine shakes her head. “We all saw the way he looked at you. That was not in any way casual. Even Roman commented on it.”
I drop my head in my hands with a groan. That just makes it worse.
“What I meant is that Roman doesn’t notice other people flirting or if they’re attracted to each other. It doesn’t even register for him. But he noticed the way Bram is around you.”
“He’s nothing around me. He’s as much of an asshole as he is to everyone else.”
Odie shakes her head. “No. He’s less burdened when he’s with you. He’s lighter.”
I stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are bright and rimmed with red. I’m pathetic. I got out of one long-term relationship where I was just a warm body. Jamie didn’t love me. I was convenient. With the clarity of distance, I understand how he thought my family’s position as one of the founding families would benefit him. He’s a low-level witch without any real power, but he has ambition. When my parents cut me off after Jamie and I moved in, he consistently told me they would eventually bring me back into the fold. That they would accept him, and things would be great. Except they were never great to begin with. He wanted me to repair a rotten relationship with my father when he was the judgmental prick. And it wasn’t something I even wanted. I’m not entirely free from my father’s judgment and machinations, but I’ve put up some boundaries. I was never willing to break those down just for Jamie to get a leg up in the magical world.
Then there’s Bram. An emotionally stunted man who literally feeds on darkness. Dark thoughts, bad energy. It fuels his curse and is slowly taking over his true nature like a fungus that strangles a tree and eventually kills it. And here I thought I could save him. That I could be the one to change him. Why? When I can’t even save myself.
“That’s sweet.” I squeeze Odie’s fingers. “But we were nothing more than a momentary mistake.”
“Ava. I don’t think that’s true.” Piper frowns.
“And that’s why I love you.” I wipe away any remaining tears and look in the mirror. “This is the dress then, right? It’s not too much?” I don’t want to talk about Bram any longer. I don’t want to think about him or us–whatever that word means.
“Absolutely.” Piper smiles at me.
“This might have been the easiest shopping experience I’ve ever had. I only broke down into tears once.”
“He’s one of my oldest friends, but I can make his curse feel like a walk in the park.” Odie signs, and I give her a tremulous smile.
“It’s really not that big of a deal. We weren’t anything to start with, so nothing to lose.”
I pretend I don’t see the way the others share a skeptical look between them. Collectively, they must agree to humor me because Josephine says. “Now we just need to find a mask.”
Shayla has the perfect mask to accompany the dress, so I don’t have to spend more time shopping. As we’re checking out, Odie’s phone pings with a message. She reads the text and her eyes dart to me.
“What?” I glance at her phone and then raise a brow. She holds it out to me. It’s a message from Ambrose.
Ambrose: Heads-up…they’re demoing what remains of Bram’s old house tomorrow. He’s going to be in a mood.
The house that was burned down. The same one that held any of the remaining physical memories from his mother. My eyes burn as I try to keep from crying again.
“Thanks for letting me know.” I keep my head down as I finish paying for my dress and mask.
It takes another ten minutes of saying goodbye outside in the freezing wind before the others will let me go. Josephine wanted to grab lunch, but I want to hibernate under a Snuggie, eat a block of cheese and watch extremely sad movies so I can cry and blame it on something other than my life.