Chapter 39
39
AVA
I walk into the office where I’ve spent the last five years of my life working for a man who thinks I’m not worth a damn. The stink of stale farts reaches all the way to the front of the office.
“What’s that smell?” Bram’s nose crinkles as soon as we step inside.
“Sadness.” I press the cardboard box into his hands. “Will you put everything in that drawer in the box for me?”
Bram eyes the small drawer. “Just that one?”
I look over at the plant that is most definitely dead now and nod. There’s nothing left for me here. I never decorated my desk or made it my own. It was never really my space to begin with. “Just that one. I’ll be right back.”
I pause in the doorway of Barty’s office. My boss is leaning back in his chair, his golf shirt pulled tight over his belly. “I see you finally decided to show up. I haven’t read my emails in three days. I’m tempted to fire your ass. See if you can get another job after this.” A sly grin slides over Barty’s face. “Your father told me all about your curse.”
I should have known.
“About that.” I grin at my boss. “My curse is broken. And I quit.”
Barty stands up from his desk so quickly he nearly falls on his ass. The shock on his face brings a smile to mine. “You can’t quit. Who will I find to do everything you do for so little?”
I knew I was underpaid, but I didn’t have a leg to stand on. I was the perfect meek employee because I was afraid I’d never find another job. Now that I won’t be forgotten in less than two weeks, it feels like the world has opened up in front of me. My opportunities aren’t endless, but they’re a hell of a lot better than they were before.
“I don’t know, Barty. You might have to learn how to use a computer.” I turn and walk away, Barty calling after me, telling me all the reasons I owe him something. With each step, a weight is lifted off my shoulders.
Bram raises an eyebrow at the shouting from the office. Barty can’t even be bothered to come into the front room.
“You good?”
“I’m amazing. You ready for your turn?”
Bram sighs and shifts the box he’s holding to one side, throwing his arm over my shoulder. “No. But let’s get this over with.”
Lucida called Bram a few days ago and asked if he’d come into the coven house. She didn’t give him specifics, just that she needed to speak with him, and it had to do with his mother. He’s been contemplating if he wanted to go, but I finally pestered him into it because my curiosity was killing me. Plus, I know how much he’s been craving information about his mother.
The sun is shining, so we decide to walk after Bram drops off my pathetic box of office goods in the trunk of his car. Lucida is waiting in the foyer inside the coven house. She leads us into a sitting room after we make our polite hellos. Bram and I take a seat on an uncomfortable gray couch. Lucida sits in a chair across from us, looking tired but comfortable. It’s been a week since the masquerade, and everything in the coven is in shambles. Witches from the Lumen and Tenebris Covens have let their old prejudices free, and there’s been a ton of fighting going on within the new Luminara coven. If we can still consider it one coven. Three-fourths of the council are under house arrest.
Lucida had been uneasy with the way things were headed based on conversations she had with the new council, but she didn’t believe things would ever escalate the way they did. She seems sincere, but I’m reserving judgment until I know more about her.
“I wanted to talk to you about your mother.”
“Yes, that’s what you mentioned when you called.” Bram’s face is serious. He’s trying not to show how anxious he is, but it’s hammering into me with each of his heartbeats. I reach out and link our hands together. Bram drags my hand into his lap and holds it there. His curse may be broken, but he’s not suddenly a puppies and rainbows kind of person. He can still be a dick with the best of them.
Lucida clears her throat, her aura turning a nervous yellow. “When I became the leader of the Tenebris Coven, I was sworn in through a ritual. Even now, I can’t speak on all the details.” Sweat beads on her forehead and she lifts a shaking hand to wipe it away.
“Do you have a geas on you?” I wouldn’t have even thought to ask, except this is the exact same way Piper was acting that day at Fitz’s house. Something that still requires further investigation. I brought it up with Piper after the masquerade and she started convulsing, so we haven’t discussed it again.
Lucida’s shoulders relax and she sighs gratefully. “Yes. I learned things that day that I never knew. It was too late for me to change course, so my hope was to fix things from within.”
“You’ve been leading the Tenebris Coven for years. What have you fixed?” Bram demands.
Lucida shakes her head. “Nothing. It often felt like I was plugging hundreds of holes in a dam, but I could never fix the root of the problem.” She waves her hand in front of her face. “That is neither here nor there. And not the reason I asked you to come in today. I knew your mother quite well.” She smiles softly. Bram’s squeezing my fingers tightly enough to cut off my circulation.
“I wanted to explain that I haven’t been blind to the council’s actions, but my hands have been tied. The reason I asked you here today is because after what happened at the masquerade, I looked into a few things. I thought it was important for you to know that your mother never wanted to pass her curse on to you.”
“Why was I cursed then?”
I know how badly Bram wants the answer to this question. I’m curious too, but for him, this means so much more.
“Your father tried to lift the curse.”
“From my family?”
“No. As you know, if you don’t perform the ritual by the time you’re thirty-five, then the curse will rebound on to all living firstborns in the family. Vincent had already completed the ritual to pass his curse onto Roman. He wanted a back-up. Your father used his shadow magic to force your mother into the ritual as well. He thought it would prevent the curse from ever rebounding onto him. Whether Roman passed it along to the next generation or not.”
Bram’s body is practically vibrating with anger. I squeeze his fingers, my heart aching for him and his mother.
“Like, he was doubling down on the ritual?” I try to keep the details straight.
Lucida nods. “Generational magic, and curses, especially, are volatile and dangerous. He had no business messing around with that kind of spell. Unfortunately, despite your mother’s sacrifice, you ended up being cursed because your father tried to game the system.”
Bram’s jaw is clenched. He slowly exhales, but doesn’t relax much. “So my mother never meant for me to be cursed.”
Lucida shakes her head.
“And you know this how?” Not that I don’t believe her, but it’s not like she was there when Vincent performed the ritual.
“Because when you become the leader of a coven, there is a certain divulging of secrets. This is one that your father shared.”
“Why are you telling me this now? Why not years ago?”
“Because I couldn’t. Your father and I were tied, by the binds of the council. Now that he is no longer part of the council, I have certain freedoms to speak that I didn’t have before.” Lucida bows her head, but she can’t hide her smile. It slowly falls off her face. A sad smile takes its place. “I thought it was important that you know your history. Your mother was a good friend once, and she deserves to have the truth of her sacrifice known.”
“She didn’t do the ritual?” Bram looks shell-shocked, so I smile at Lucida and thank her. I’m sure Bram will have more questions for Lucida later, but for now, this truth is enough.
“Let’s go get some fresh air.” I stand up and tug on Bram’s hand to get him to follow. He blinks at me like he’s just waking.
“Come with me.” I didn’t need to say it, because Bram is stuck with me no matter what.
We step out onto the sidewalk. For once, the sun has decided to break through all the gray clouds. I don’t think I’ve seen it in two months. I tip my head and pretend to feel the heat on my face. I don’t, because it’s still five degrees out, but it’s a nice thought.
“Ava.”
I open my eyes and find my mother standing in front of me. Bram wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side. My father is still on house arrest. The Luminara coven has been arguing for the past week about what to do with the coven council that took part in the ritual at the masquerade. My mother wasn’t there that night, so as of right now, she’s exempt from whatever retribution the coven comes up with. I wasn't expecting to see her here. Or anywhere, really. With my father stuck at home, I imagine he’s insisting she be confined with him.
“Mom. What are you doing here?”
“I came to speak with Lucida.” She offers me a small smile, but my heart sinks.
“Are you trying to convince her dad doesn’t deserve punishment?”
She presses her lips together and shakes her head. “She’s offered me a place to stay. I’ve moved out of the house. I’ve left your father. He deserves to be held accountable for his actions.” She reaches out as if to touch me, but I shrink back. There are so many years of hurt between us. The declaration that she’s leaving my father is far from enough to soothe those jagged wounds.
Dropping her hand, she chews on her bottom lip. “I know I have a lot to make up for, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to show you how sorry I am for my actions over the years.”
I stare at her. The woman who should have been my champion, my cheerleader, a loving parent, but who chose my father again and again, instead. It’s not going to be as simple as a quick apology and I’m over it. I don’t know how to even begin to respond to her words.
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
My mother nods, sad acceptance in her eyes. “I understand. When–if–you’re ready, I’ll be here.”
She smiles at Bram and then heads into the coven house.
“I was not expecting that today.” I shiver and huff out a stream of foggy breath.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Bram looks pained by those words. He might be my fated bond, but he’s still not great at emotions. Frankly, I don’t want to do a deep dive on the history of my relationship with my mother at the moment anyway. Maybe tomorrow. Or the day after. Since she’s leaving my father, there will be time to figure things out. If that’s what I want.
“No. But I do want to go somewhere.” I lead him to the Briar Hollows Bridge.
The wind stings my cheeks, but with the sun shining, I don’t care. I tip my head up toward the sky again, then immediately lower my chin into my scarf when a gust nearly steals my breath away. Bram and I come to a stop in the middle of the bridge. He steps behind me, creating a buffer for some of the wind. Another five minutes and I’ll have my outdoor quota for the next month.
I peek over my shoulder at Bram, already feeling better. “Are you okay with what Lucida told you?” I didn’t get a chance to ask with my mother popping up out of nowhere.
Bram looks out over the frozen river. “I will be.” He pulls me tighter to his body. “I didn’t realize how much I needed to know what happened.”
I squeeze the arm that’s wrapped around my chest. I get it. It’s not like it changes anything that already happened, but there’s a calmness in Bram’s aura that wasn’t there before. It’s comforting for him to know that his mother wasn’t a piece of shit like the rest of our parents.
“Tell me again why we’re here?” Bram looks over my shoulder, down at the frozen river. “You’re not thinking of another swim, are you? I’m not opposed to stripping you down after, but there are easier ways to get naked.”
“I will never live that down, will I?”
“No,” Bram whispers in my ear, and I shiver.
I don’t know what impulse I had to bring him here, but it seemed really important a few minutes ago. “I never told you that I made a wish here, the night of the founders’ parties months ago.”
“You wished that I’d sex you up, huh.”
“Ew. No one says that. Gross.” I laugh, and Bram joins me. “No, Mr. Humble.” I take a moment to thank the Maiden, Mother, and Crone for how things turned out. “I wished that someone would love me for who I am. Just me, without having to pretzel myself into an unrecognizable being.” All I wanted was to be loved for my quirks and despite my flaws.
“And suddenly, I was a shining light in your life.” Bram nuzzles my neck. I gasp at his cold nose.
“Ah, I wouldn’t say suddenly. More like you snuck into my house and pestered me until I couldn’t help but fall for you.” I joke, but I’m so damn grateful for Bram.
“I’m not the one who started the prank war.” Bram nips at my earlobe. I squeak, but he’s holding me too tightly to get away. Bram rests his chin on my shoulder and sighs contentedly. “I never would have thought to make a wish. I guess I’m lucky you did.” He blows out a long breath, his body tenses behind me. “You…you saved my life. In more than one way.”
I turn in his arms to face him. “Are you okay? Did you strain a muscle having that feeling?”
“Shut up,” he growls, his eyes bright with happiness. “I feel things.”
I reach up and cup his cheek, everything in my body going soft. “Yeah, you do.”
He clutches me to him. Nuzzling my jaw and dropping a kiss on my lips. “You make me feel all the things.”
“All the good ones, right?” I’m breathless.
“Bad too. I’ve never been so jealous, possessive, or territorial in my life.”
“So you’re basically a dog with a bone.”
“You make me feel feral. And sometimes like a fucking puppy.” Bram pulls back his head to look me in the eye. “You have changed my world, Ava Vandenberg. There are colors again. You are my everything. I love you so much it hurts.”
“I love you too.” I rise up on my toes and press a kiss to his lips. As Bram deepens the kiss, I swoon.
The coven may be fractured. The council is still waiting for their punishment. But right now, kissing the man I love, nothing has ever been this perfect.