Chapter 3 #2
“You’re right. I’m just . . . I guess all of this is a shock to me.
How it’s easy for some, I mean.” I stretch my right arm up and grasp the door jamb, stretching the kinks out of my body.
Lindsey’s gaze lingers on me, and I note the slight drop of her sightline to my stomach.
Her mouth is still curved into this soft, suggestive grin.
Or maybe I’m simply reading the suggestive part. Wishful thinking.
Bad fucking ideas.
“Right, well. I’m gonna . . .” I jut my thumb over my shoulder toward my shower, and she lifts her brow.
“Yep. Go do that,” she says, dropping her attention back to Holly. I back away before I make things weird. Weirder.
I wish I had more than two minutes for the shower, but as it is, I don’t have time to wait for the water to warm up. That’s probably for the best. The cold water does wonders in waking my ass up fully. By the time I’m dressed and heading out the door, I’m running a few minutes ahead of schedule.
I pop out of my room and spot Holly lying on a rainbow-colored play pad, an arch of tiny, twinkling stars stretched over her, from corner to corner of the pad.
Lindsey is on the floor next to her with what looks like a textbook flipped open at her side.
She’s running her fingertips in circles around Holly’s belly, and I think .
. . no wait, I know my daughter is smiling.
“What is this magical thing?” I carry my sneakers to the couch and sit at the end so I can slip my feet into them one at a time.
“I went through a few of the boys’ old things and thought Holly might like this. I have a few more items in the car. I’ll bring the swing over tomorrow. I couldn’t get it out of the closet without making a mess. The perks of living in what has become your parents’ storage room,” she says.
I nod and smile.
“Wow, that’s really nice of you. Looks like she loves it.
” I get to my feet and move closer so I can look down at my happy little girl.
I’m not sure if Holly is looking at me or the stars right now, but I am sure she’s content.
More than that, she’s happy. And it sort of makes my chest burn that I need to leave her.
My gaze shifts to the textbook next to Lindsey. It’s open to a page displaying a series of old Coca-Cola ads.
“What’s that about?” I nod toward it.
She flips the cover shut and taps her finger along the title—Intro to Advertising.
“I’m thinking about going back to school, finishing my degree. Before I enroll in anything, I figured I should brush up and make sure I still like this stuff.”
She flips the book open again, this time on a two-page chart filled with dollar signs. I chuckle.
“Looks like it’s all about money, so that’s pretty enjoyable, I’d say.”
Lindsey smirks on one side of her mouth and shrugs.
“Money is great and all. Don’t get me wrong, I like it a lot. But it’s not everything. It’s a means to an end, if that makes sense.” She tilts her head, her eyes centering on mine, and my mouth waters. It’s the strangest feeling, like she’s been reading my midnight thoughts or something.
I nod softly.
“Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.”
Our gazes mingle for a few seconds, long enough for the crackle in the air to become palpable. And before I can stop myself, I say something stupid.
“Maybe you should move in.”
The way her eyebrows raise is my first indicator that I’ve uttered an impulse aloud. The next clue is the way she drops her chin, then fidgets with her book, then her lap, then adjusts her legs, and the way she’s sitting on the floor.
“Sorry, that was . . . that’s probably a bad idea. I was just thinking about how early I get started, and how my schedule is going to be all over the place. And, I don’t know. Maybe if you were here—”
“I have twins, Brooks. You’d be living with a whole damn household.” She mashes her lips into a relenting smile, which I’m sure she means as a sign for me to drop the bad idea, but somehow only makes me dig in harder.
“I know. You and the boys could be here. Well, not here. I’d get a bigger place, which I was thinking of doing anyhow.
I could get a rental near Roddy’s house.
There are a lot available on his street, and some of the guys with families live in that neighborhood.
They’re used to contracts with players around here.
You and the boys could have your own rooms, and if you needed a hand with something, I’d be around.
You could start school, and I wouldn’t have to worry about travel games so much. It sort of makes sense.”
On the surface, I’m right. And live-in nannies are definitely a thing.
I researched them before Hunter hooked me up with Lindsey.
There’s no reason we couldn’t make this a business arrangement.
Except there’s this nagging feeling that maybe things are good as they are.
Like I’m teetering on a slope covered in ice.
And I’m hanging on to a damn sled while I’m at it.
“I think it’s better we—”
“You know, maybe that’s too much—”
We talk over one another and settle into a soft laugh.
My cheeks burn, and Lindsey’s are a rosy pink.
I try to hold her gaze, but neither of us seems able to stick to one another for long.
I’ve ditched the sled at this point and simply heaved myself over the slope into the world’s most uncomfortable abyss.
“I’m gonna—”
“Maybe, just—”
We both gesture to the door and freeze when our eyes meet, breaking into a harder laugh this time. It seems to cut the tension, though, and after a few seconds, Holly begins to fuss, taking over Lindsey’s attention.
It’s difficult to leave like this. I want to jump in and take care of my daughter, to right her wrongs, however trivial they are.
This one seems to be chalked up to gas. But for the first time since she showed up in my life, I’m able to step back and breathe.
She’s in good hands, even if they aren’t mine.
Which makes the crazy idea of moving Lindsey and her boys in with me circle my mind some more.
This time, though, I leave before I say another word.