Chapter 14 #2
The very songs Luka had kept himself company with all these years in his headphones, the ones that pushed him through when he felt alone, empty, and hopeless, the same music that flowed from Reno’s heart directly to his, was in the same room as him.
Luka didn’t know if he could ever admit to Reno that his songs had done more for him than any friendship, mentor, or lover had, in that when everything else fell away, the songs were still there to carry on beside him. They’d never abandoned him.
He remembered what Reno had said to him in New York. To have someone else love my music is like being seen. When someone like you loves it, it feels incredible. And, hearing Reno play his music, just for Luka, in a way that possibly no one else had heard before, made him truly understand.
Reno wanted to be seen and understood just as badly as Luka wanted to be valued and cared for.
A note sustained before faltering, and Reno lifted the bow from his instrument to take in a shaky breath.
Silently, he placed the violin back on its stand and tucked the bow next to it.
He didn’t look at Luka when he took his previous spot on the floor with his head on his forearms atop the cushion, his gaze distant and thoughtful.
Luka shifted to lie on his side and Reno finally looked at him. Luka wasn’t sure what to make of what he found in Reno’s expression.
After a beat, Reno asked, “What do you think?”
“It’s hard to find the words,” Luka admitted, having too many thoughts about what he’d just witnessed to pick only one to express. He reached out instead, his fingers brushing Reno’s cheek, before asking, “Will you lie with me?”
Reno nodded, so Luka scooted over to make room, letting Reno lie half on top of him so Luka could wrap his arms around him to pull him in tightly. He felt Reno take in a labored, deep breath and hold it for a few seconds before exhaling to relax his body into Luka’s embrace.
Luka kissed the top of Reno’s head and said, “I can’t say.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s really difficult to tell you what that meant to me.”
Reno made an agreeing noise and pressed his face against Luka’s chest.
“I’ll figure it out one day," Luka promised, hoping that was good enough. And, when Reno turned his head just enough to kiss Luka’s collarbone, he remembered Reno’s patience, his understanding, and knew he didn’t need to struggle to find the right words now.
Reno, in all his unbelievable kindness, would wait for his answers.
Luka woke the next day to Reno tenderly kissing his cheek and apologizing for having to leave.
Luka pulled him back into bed and kissed him, asking how much time they had.
Reno had his hand between Luka’s legs as an answer, and Luka wondered distantly if he was making Reno late for his dance class, but when Reno slid inside of him, and kissed him until he gasped from it, he found he didn’t really care.
It was becoming ridiculous how quickly Reno could make him come when he put his mind to it, and by the time Reno’s alarm was going off for the second time, Luka was a boneless mess on the bed, panting and dazed.
Reno silenced his phone, kissed the inside of Luka’s knee, pulled out with a hiss, then apologized again.
Luka watched from the bed as Reno rushed around to get ready, packing a bag and telling Luka the details of where he’d be that day: dance studio, interview across town, then a writing session with Sebastian to end the night.
Between traveling to and from all the locations, Reno would be out the whole day and Luka could tell just how guilty Reno felt about it.
Reno stood at the edge of the bed with his duffel bag over his shoulder and a baseball cap on his head, looking torn, like he wanted nothing more than to skip everything that day and return to Luka, where he still lay, a naked mess.
“Go," Luka said. “You have done your duty here; don’t be late.”
“My duty?” Reno looked like he needed a coffee.
Luka pushed himself up until he was on his knees in front of Reno and tugged him by the shirt collar into a wet kiss. “You can make me come again when you get back tonight.”
“How are you real?” Reno asked, his hands winding into Luka’s hair and tugging lightly. “How do I get to come home to you?”
Luka shook his head. “I could ask the same.” Then he easily pushed Reno away and made for the bathroom right as Reno’s alarm started chiming again. “Get out of here. This is my flat now.”
Reno exhaled and whatever look he might have given was cut off as Luka shut the bathroom door.
After a quick shower, Luka found himself alone in Reno’s flat for the first time—which meant he immediately set about snooping through everything.
How could he not? He was in Reno’s home, and Luka couldn’t fully put away the small thrill of being a fan in his favorite musician’s home alone and unsupervised.
Even though he might be falling in love with said musician.
He swallowed that fear until it sat heavy in his stomach, and started with the closet. He opened it and found it meticulously organized. Walking into it, Luka marveled first at just how big it was, then started laughing to himself when he unzipped the first garment cover.
It was a sexy nun outfit. What a fantastic start to his journey.
Bag after bag, Luka unzipped and zipped them back up to not disturb anything.
It was a marvel. Reno had a bit of everything.
There were sexy costumes, his stage outfits, suits that looked much too expensive for Luka to even think of touching, gowns and lolita coordinates, club wear, and then rows of shirts and hoodies.
Luka thumbed through the shirts, and his eyes widened at the sheer amount of tour shirts, some from bands he knew no longer existed, some he knew were highly sought after, and of course, Voltage merch that Luka had only dreamed of getting his hands on.
Behind the band shirts was a stack of framed posters and Luka went through a few of them before realizing he was looking at Voltage’s tour posters, the oldest one dating back to 2002 for a London show.
Voltage was in small print at the bottom, squeezed in beside two other bands under the headliner.
Luka quickly put it back in place with his hands trembling, fearing that somehow he’d do something stupid like drop it and break the glass and tear it, and tried to forget that he’d just held Voltage’s first-ever show poster.
The amount of organized accessories was staggering.
There was even a rotating stand like the ones found in department stores, holding glasses and sunglasses, and Luka realized he had no idea if Reno had poor eyesight or not.
But the mental image of him wearing glasses nearly had him sitting on the closet floor with a brand new crisis.
He pulled himself together, picked out an outfit that looked like it would fit and was nicer—if somewhat subdued for Reno’s tastes— than anything he’d brought, and took it with him.
He spent less time searching through the rest of the flat, having already seen most of it the first day he’d come over.
He didn’t dare peek into Reno’s office in case there were personal documents in there, and after admiring the impressive amount of kitchen utensils and tools in matching baby blue, he felt satisfied.
He couldn’t bring himself to use anything in the kitchen, though still feeling way too much like a guest in Reno’s home. So, he decided to seek out the coffee shop on Reno’s hand-drawn map.
It was thankfully only a few blocks down, and soon Luka was through the front door of Corner Café, which Luka found ironic since it had the same name as the dive bar he regularly went to with his friends. He figured life was just strange like that sometimes.
The bell chimed as the door closed behind him and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he was greeted by name.
“Luka! Hey!” Sage was wearing an apron and waving from behind the register.
She had her red hair tamed and pulled into a braid over her shoulder.
Her apron was littered with pins, marking her pronouns she/her, next to a bisexual flag, two rabbits, and several other miscellaneous characters Luka didn’t recognize.
There was no line, so Luka walked right up to the register to say, “I didn’t know you worked here.”
“This is my domain," she replied, crossing her arms on the counter. “I’m co-owner here, actually. Sounds impressive, but really it just means I have a ton of overhead and undiagnosed mental teens to order around.”
“Rough.” Luka didn’t want to imagine managing young employees like that while running a business.
“Want a coffee? On the house, love.”
“Oh.” Luka didn’t expect that. He looked at the menu and said, “Sure, an iced latte would be cool. No sweetener.”
“Ah, finally a clear difference.” Sage smiled warmly and turned to start preparing his drink.
“Reno had me worried when he showed me your picture. You both, with your pink hair and your black clothes. I never thought Reno was narcissistic enough to date himself, but you never know. Thank god when you two come in here together in the future, I’ll only have to make one horrible blended sugar-monstrosity. ”
Luka balked at the concept of so much sugar in the morning. “You definitely won’t have to make me one of those. Aren’t they a lot more work to make, too?”
Sage slid his iced coffee over to him. “Yup, but it’s worth it for Reno. You know, when he’s on tour, he’s not allowed sweets? Kandi, their manager, keeps a close eye on his diet so he doesn’t gain weight. I think it’s really fucked up, so I like to feed them horrible, gross foods when he’s home.”
“Thank you for that.”