Chapter 15 #2
“So mean," Sebastian said, not looking offended. “At least it’s not as cold as Sweden. I don’t know how Angel lives there.”
“They didn’t grow up in a southern continent. Probably helps,” Arnaud said. “You think they’ll move here if you two get serious?”
“No, we are content with long distance for now. We will visit.”
Arnaud nodded, and Reno knew he understood. Next to him, Luka was frowning, lost in thought.
“Wait," Luka asked, “Angel? Like, the bassist from Hearts n Hell, right?”
“Yup." Sebastian’s honey-brown eyes went dreamy. “We hooked up officially during the last Europe tour and they’re everything a guy could dream of.”
“Is it easier to date another musician?” Luka asked, his shoulders tense. “I’d imagine the scheduling would be a nightmare.”
“It is," Sebastian agreed, still drifting far away, lost in a fantasy. “But it’s nice to have someone who understands the pressures of it all, who won’t get freaked out when things get busy or tense, and who is similarly obsessed with making music. It helps we write almost the same genre but listen to a lot of different things, it brings a nice middle ground to writing sessions and sharing things together.”
“I see,” Luka said, and Sebastian watched him for a moment in a way that made Reno feel wary.
Sebastian asked Luka, “What do you have in common with Reno?”
“Can’t we wait to eat before you all start interrogating him?” Reno sighed, and Luka started laughing behind his hand. Reno watched him, surprised, and when Luka glimpsed back, he didn’t appear so anxious anymore.
Instead, all Luka said was, “You’re so sweet. It’s okay.”
The waitress tapped a knuckle on the door before opening it, then several dishes, heavy and piled high with meat, vegetables, and other rich-looking foods, were set on the table.
When the waitress and other servers had left, Luka waited until everyone had started filling their plates with food before he cleared his throat.
“Well, we both love music. Even if how we love it is different.”
“Fuck, I’d hope so,” Jaewon said around a bite and Reno shot him a look. It didn’t deter Luka at all, however.
“You don’t need to hope. I’ve been listening to your music for over ten years, but I also listen to a lot of other stuff.
I don’t play an instrument or write music, but I always have it on in the background while I draw.
We both enjoy travel and a lot of the same foods—although Reno is, um, he likes and knows more about food, I think, than I do.
We’ve watched a few movies together that we both enjoyed. And, it’s fun.”
“Fun?” Arnaud asked.
“Yeah," Luka shrugged, then accepted a plate full of food from Reno. “We have fun together. We laugh a lot. Play. I’ve never really gotten to do that before.”
“Reno is good at fooling around,” Sebastian said, and Reno scowled at him but it made Luka laugh.
“It’s true,” Luka agreed. “I’ve always been nervous and too serious, and it’s nice being around someone who doesn’t let me get so caught up in my head. Stay in the present, you know? Enjoy what’s in front of me instead of always stressing about what’s next.”
“Fuck," Arnaud swore. “I was really praying that it’d be the other way around.”
“You don’t mean that,” Luka said, and any fight Reno had in him melted immediately.
“You know better than I do—everyone works him too hard, always making him think about the future. What if he were naturally inclined to be someone like me who worries constantly about what might happen? It would make him more neurotic than he already is.”
“Oh my god.”
Reno pointed a fork at Jaewon, who had just burst out laughing and ordered, “Shut up, man.”
“Your boyfriend thinks you’re crazy.” Jaewon ignored Reno’s request and laughed even harder until he choked on something. Arnaud had to swat him on the back a few times.
“Of course I do,” Luka said. “I’m not blind and I’m not stupid.”
“Okay—he can stay," Sebastian said. “You’re staying, right?”
“I don’t know," Luka admitted, flushing a bit at his collarbones, and Reno had to try to get everyone to back down before Luka burst into flames on the spot.
Reno said, “We’ll figure that out. He’s smarter than me and asked for me to wait a few weeks before demanding an answer.
I’ll respect it, even if it’s all I can think about.
” He tucked a stray hair behind Luka’s ear and Jaewon groaned in disgust. “And, even if he leaves me, I’ll just have to ask for him to come back in increasingly desperate and convincing ways. ”
As Luka’s face turned bright red, Reno realized he’d not only failed in his attempt to keep Luka from turning into charred soot, he had actually made it worse.
“Gomen2," he mumbled.
“Daijoubu3," Luka replied and Arnaud gasped.
“On mon Dieu! ?a ne peut pas être4. Are you learning?”
Luka looked like he wanted to hide away but still replied clearly, “Oui, j'apprends5.”
Arnaud turned to Reno and gave him a serious look that sent a small shiver down his spine. “He is staying.”
“That is not up to me.” Reno glared back until Arnaud lost their staring contest, and next to him, he could feel Luka squirm.
“He really is smarter than you,” Jaewon said, smirking, and Luka poured himself another glass of wine before pushing the half-eaten plate away. “He can even handle more spice in his food than you.”
“Oh, don’t start that again,” Reno groaned. “Even if I built a tolerance to your insane foods it would still wreck my stomach and no one wants to deal with me when my stomach hurts.”
Luka perked up. “Are you pathetic when you’re sick?”
“You have no idea," Sebastian chimed in, pulling more meat off the center dish to pile on his plate. It was probably his third or fourth round at that point. “He doesn’t stop whining, he won’t sleep, won’t eat. Then you tell him to get on stage and it’s like magically nothing was ever wrong.”
“The moment he’s off stage again, you bet it’s back to complaining, though.” Jaewon pushed his plate away and poured himself another drink right as the waitress checked in on them again, offering dessert menus and coffee.
Luka ordered and Reno looked down at his own plate, feeling a bit bad about how little he’d eaten. He’d been distracted, mostly trying to make sure his friends wouldn’t harass Luka too much. He was grateful they had behaved for the most part.
Sebastian asked for food to be boxed up, and then someone set a cup of coffee down in front of Luka, who poured milk and sugar into it, mixed it until it was the perfect color, then pushed it in front of Reno.
He sat back and continued chatting with Reno’s friends like nothing important had just happened.
Luka sipped on his wine, an arm thrown over the back of Reno’s chair, looking so much more comfortable than he did at the beginning of the evening.
And, as Reno wrapped his hands around the warm cup and took in the smell of sweet coffee, he realized that he’d never told Luka how he took his coffee.
He’d never told Luka that when everything felt a little bit too bright, a little too much, a hot cup in his hands snapped things back into place, and made him feel centered again.
He wasn’t sure Luka even knew, or if he just guessed correctly that Reno was flagging after a long day, and just wanted to sit quietly and watch his friends get to know Luka at last.
Luka reached across the table to steal a bite of Jaewon’s chocolate cake before Arnaud could finish it, and it kind of felt like things had always been this way.
It made sense to Reno, and the smile Luka gave him when Reno was caught sneaking a piece of chocolate into his coffee was the kind of smile he’d love to see over and over again.
They were only three steps out the door when the first flash went off.
Reno’s heart jammed in his chest as he put a hand out to stop Luka from exiting the restaurant, the light of the flashbulb searing itself into his memory. At that blinding moment, Reno felt their private world colliding with the public eye.
Luka, thankfully, had been walking behind Reno, but unaware of what was happening, Luka wrapped a hand around Reno’s and lowered it from his chest, confused.
A second and third flash—the sound of multiple shutters capturing their every move—and Reno yanked Luka’s hood over his hair and tried to block him from view.
Arnaud was already pushing forward, his hands waving about and his voice carrying over the questions several people shouted out, telling them to back up and clear a path.
There were only a few photographers and tabloid reporters, but Reno couldn’t spare a second to try to identify them as Jaewon and Sebastian pushed themselves between Reno and the paparazzi, forming a crude barricade.
It was just enough cover for Reno to grab Luka’s hand and run.
They were around the block and down the street, ducking into an alley between shops when Reno pressed Luka against the brick wall and held him there, trying to catch his breath.
Luka stood utterly still, his eyes wide but in much better shape than Reno, who was trying and failing to catch his breath.
“You should run more often.”
“Don’t.” Reno hated how harsh the word came out, and he realized belatedly that Luka had cringed and looked down at his feet. “Sorry. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Luka shrugged. “You think they got me?”
“Yes.” Reno finally felt his lungs fill with air correctly and tilted forward, putting his forehead on Luka’s shoulder. “They got a photo right when you stepped out. Everyone will know you’re with us, now.”
Luka hummed and then started patting the pockets of his jacket.
Reno tilted his head enough to see so he could unsnap the front pocket for him and get a cigarette out.
He leaned back just enough to put it between Luka’s lips and sparked a lighter.
Luka took in a long drag, and the smell was so strong it almost choked Reno.
With smoke curling around him, caressing the sharp cut of his cheekbones and clouding his typically clear eyes, Luka tilted his head back until it rested against the brick wall. He said, “You mean, everyone will know I’m with you, now.”
“Yes.” Reno held his fingers up for the cigarette and Luka passed it over after a moment of hesitation.
“Thought you’d quit.”
“Thought you were quitting.” Reno took a drag and found the taste miserable. “Doesn’t matter. What will you do?”
“What do you mean?” Luka raised an eyebrow and Reno could see the reflection of the cigarette’s ember in his eyes. “This isn’t up to me.”
“Luka." Reno forgot how the cigarette burned in his lungs as something deeper choked him. “You’re in charge of your life, too. Your response to what happens is your choice.”
“I can’t exactly go back in time and stop them from getting photos of me with your hand on my chest or playing with my hair outside the pub.”
“Wait, what?” Reno blinked several times, trying to catch up. “Someone got a photo of us that night?”
“Sage took care of it.”
“Of course she did.” Reno passed the cigarette back, feeling a bit queasy. “I don’t think she’ll be able to stop this one, though.”
“Reno.”
“Yeah?”
“What will they do to you when they see us together?”
Reno didn’t want to think about that. He answered, anyway. “I’ll be lectured, I’m sure. I’ll be in trouble. I’ve been reckless, and I’ll have to take a verbal beating, then get back to work and move on.”
“So, that's it?” Luka’s voice took on a harder edge.
He tapped ash to the side and followed it with his eyes until it hit the pavement.
“We just, continue on like this didn’t happen?
You get chewed out, nothing changes, and then what?
We never go out together in public again?
I stay a secret? I go home? What is it?”
“No. I’m okay with being disobedient if it’s for you.”
Luka laughed and it sounded mean. “I dunno about that one.”
“It’s not going to stop me,” Reno promised.
“Can we just go back to your place and figure this out later?” Luka stubbed the cigarette out on the brick wall behind him, even though he’d only smoked half. “I’m at capacity for trying to figure out my life.”
“Yeah.” Reno had never seen Luka like this before, and he couldn’t blame Luka for it at all. “Whatever will make you happy.”
Luka took his time looking at Reno, and whatever he was thinking was a mystery. Luka was a stone wall, the light in his eyes shuttered and his lips a thin, tight line. He put the crumpled cigarette into his front pocket and then reached out to put his fingers to Reno’s throat.
Reno’s pulse rabbited against them.
When a smile crept onto Luka’s face, it took a while for it to reach his eyes. As his hand trailed up Reno’s neck to his lips, it smelled of ash and spice, and something about it felt equal parts enticing and dangerous.
As Luka leaned forward, Reno felt pinned in place. And, when Luka whispered into his ear, he knew the chilly night wasn’t what brought the hair on his arms standing on end.
“You’ll disobey them—but what about me?”
Reno shook his head, trying to piece together all the facets of Luka before he lost track of them. “No, never.”
“I don’t believe you—” Luka leaned away, taking his heat with him before he placed a gentle hand against Reno’s shoulder and pushed until Reno stepped back and out of his way. “—You’re too much of a brat.”
“Oh.” Reno stood there, feeling both on edge and delighted as Luka brushed past him out of the alley and back onto the street. “Oh.”
Reno hurried after Luka. And, as he caught up to him to give him the directions back home, he wondered if what had shifted between them was good or bad.
1 Be quiet.
2 Sorry,
3 It’s okay,
4 Oh my God! It can’t be.
5 Yes, I’m learning.