Chapter 21 #2
“Isn’t that their drummer?” August asked, looking dizzy themself.
“Oh, yeah, I forgot you like him.”
“I do not! I just think he’s really talented. Lay off.” August scowled. “Do you wanna talk to him or no?”
“Yeah," Luka groaned, wondering if this was a phone call to yell at him for being an idiot or not. “I’ll face the reaper. Give me some privacy, though, please?”
“You’re the one who decided the living room was your new bedroom.”
Luka held out his hand for the phone, giving August a look that had them relenting. They handed it over, and even though it really seemed like they didn’t want to, they grabbed their bag of food and their drink and left for their bedroom.
Once he heard their bedroom door shut, Luka unmuted the phone.
“Hello.”
“Hello, Luka," T-yan said. “I’m glad you finally picked up.”
“Sorry, I’m still a bit freaked out, so a private number calling me made me panic.”
“That’s fair," came the reply. “You should be able to guess why I’m calling and not Arnaud.”
“I can’t actually.”
“Because he would just end up yelling at you.”
Ah, so it was a phone call to be chewed out. He’d guessed right.
“That guy likes you too much, too. Right now, I don’t know why.
But, he’s way too much of an emotional person to even begin to handle this part of everything.
” T-yan sighed into the phone, and Luka could picture his tired face so easily.
“Look, I know shit is a nightmare right now, but can I just say my piece and ask some questions?”
“I can’t imagine what it’s been like there," Luka replied.
“Is that a yes?”
“Yeah,” Luka agreed. “You can ask me anything, I’ll do my best.”
“Figures. I saw your roommate’s post.”
“What?” Luka looked down the hall at August’s closed door and thought briefly about hanging up on T-yan to ask August what they’d done.
“They posted about you being a nice and honest person and being sad, or whatever. I don’t really care how you’re feeling if we’re being real here. But here’s the thing—Reno is not okay, and he misses you, and as much as I’m angry with you for leaving like you did, I think you should come back.”
Luka swallowed, feeling the weight of T-yan’s words in his chest. “He hasn’t spoken to me, though.”
“You haven’t spoken to him either! Shocker, Reno picks a partner just as stubborn, if not more stubborn than himself.” T-yan made a frustrated sound before saying, “While usually I’d say he needs someone like that in his life, it’s not helping right now. Tell me, why aren’t you texting him?”
“I don’t know what to say. I ruined his life by being with him. How would me reaching out help that?”
“He said the same thing.”
Luka’s eyes widened. “Wait.”
“Moron. He’s been ripping himself to shreds thinking you’re going to end up like him in the long run because of this shit Joy pulled.
Which, by the way, an update on that—the legal team was able to trace a good portion of the accounts spreading information on you and Reno to her IP address. She’s not very bright.”
“What does that mean for Reno?”
“Means she’s violated the order of protection and is going to jail. But let's focus, mate.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine," T-yan grumbled, then paused for a moment. “I don’t think you understand what Reno was like the first time he went through this. He’s a mess right now, sure.
But it’s nothing like back then. We had to pull him out of spirals for years.
After a while, we finally called an intervention with a professional who ended up treating him for several more years afterwards.
Shit was scary, he really lost sight of who he was, had a lot of trouble telling what was real.
It was like a voice in his head constantly saying he was all the bad things Joy said he was, that he did the things she claimed, even though none of it was true.
“It still haunts him. And, I don’t know, all of this has not been great for all the progress he’s made.
It’s like the worst test ever, and the nastiest part, in my opinion, is that through it all, he’s only worried about you.
He’s not even worried about himself; he’s only worried that you’ll end up confused like he was back then, that you’ll become unsure of yourself or think less of yourself. ”
“That’s…” Luka tried to keep his hands from shaking. “Why is he like this?”
“Because he’s mental, I dont know. No. Shh, I’m kidding.
We’re all fucking mental over here. I think its because he’s genuinely good," T-yan said. “I wonder sometimes if he’s ever had a negative thought about another person that didn’t immediately have a ‘well, maybe they’re just having a bad day, and took it out on me’ or ‘they acted that way to me because someone must have hurt them, I bet they just need some love and they’d be okay.
’ It’s frustrating. Like goddamn it, sometimes people just fucking suck! But, Reno won’t accept that.”
“Oh, I…I kind of get that,” Luka admitted, “A lot. Fuck, I think I might do the same thing.”
“Disgusting. You two make me sick. Now I get why he’s worried this will affect you the same way it did him.”
“It won’t. I’ve been through slander before. Not on this scale, but still, they’re not capable of saying anything about me that would really hurt me.”
“Well, that’s a relief. I will say, Reno doesn’t really have as much trouble with it as he used to.
He’s had a lot of practice pulling himself out of those kinds of loops and has gotten better at asking for reality checks from us.
But, he’s still isolating and I had to basically break down his door for him to admit that he’s freaked out and worried about you. He’s not eating. You see how it is?”
“Yeah, I do.” Luka felt more like a piece of shit with every passing minute on the phone with T-yan. “Will you tell him he doesn’t have to worry about that?”
“Fuck you.” T-yan laughed, and it was bitter. “I didn’t call you to become a messenger boy.”
“Why did you call me?”
“To knock some sense into your head. Maybe make sense of things. To tell you to come back. To chew you out for leaving Reno when he’s at risk any moment of falling back into his bad mental shit.
You’re supposed to be his partner, and you left him alone!
” T-yan cleared his throat, and when he spoke again, he wasn’t so close to yelling.
“And, to make you feel like shit for making my friend so fucking sad.”
“Well, I do feel like shit.”
“I don’t care. I’m going to go talk to Reno about all this bullshit. I suggest you do the same," T-yan said with an air of finality.
Luka could feel the sweat at his brow sticking to his phone screen, but was too overwhelmed to wipe it clean.
He’d already been fearing that Reno was upset, that the reason he hadn’t reached out was because he was too sad to do so.
And to get confirmation that Reno was depressed enough to have T-yan, of all people, calling Luka, made him feel like crying again.
When T-yan didn’t say anything else, Luka sighed and rubbed at his burning eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Fuck off,” T-yan said. “Wrong person to apologize to. If you got nothing else to say, I’m gonna go.”
“Can I ask a question first?” Luka dared to ask.
“Really?”
Luka chewed on his lower lip for a moment, then asked anyway, "Did you ask Maxine out yet?”
“Fucking hell. I hate everyone in my life. Yes, I did, and it was awful.”
Luka felt his eyebrows raise. “How so? Did she say no?”
“She said yes, then laughed in my face because her friend saw a selfie I’d sent her on her phone and told her who I was like eight months ago. She wanted to see how long I’d try to keep the act up.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah, she might be the perfect woman. Now, fix your own relationship; toughen up, or whatever. Treat my friend better or I’ll fly to fucking Maine or wherever shit-hole you live in and kick your ass," T-yan threatened then hung up before Luka could reply.
Hikaru
Check your mail
Luka shot out of his chair on break from his shift, seeing the text from Reno.
He’d already planned on texting Reno first, but had typed up over a dozen messages, and then deleted them over the last few days.
He felt pathetic letting it linger that long after T-yan’s call and every hour that passed his anxiety over what to say got worse.
But nothing sounded sincere enough, nothing sounded kind enough, and nothing felt like it was going to be the correct way to ask Reno to work with him to make things right again.
It was humiliating trying to figure out what he should even to say just for Reno to beat him to the punch.
Not that ‘check your mail’ was much of an apology.
He took the stairs two at a time and rushed to the mailbox. Nestled between grocery coupons and credit card offers, a small yellow bubble mailer stood out, clearly having come from England, via DHL overnight delivery, addressed to Luka.
He hurried to his room to open it, dumping the junk mail on the coffee table on his way. He carefully tore the envelope open, and when he tipped the contents into his hand, a key slid out.
Luka pressed it into his palm, the teeth on it so achingly familiar he didn’t need to look to see what it belonged to. It fit the lock to Reno’s door.
He pulled the piece of paper from the envelope next. All it said was:
PLEASE COME HOME- 光
Luka sank onto his bed, the hand holding the key pressed to his chest. He ran his thumb over Hikaru’s name, his perfect, cramped handwriting.
“Luka?” A knock came from his door and August asked, “Can I come in?”
“Yeah." He struggled to find his voice. “Come in.”
They did, holding their phone out for Luka to take. “You need to see this.”
“I don’t want to see anything online, you know this.”
“Please, just this once. Don’t be so thick-skulled.”
Luka took the phone and pressed play on the video.