Chapter 22 #2
Luka let out a wet laugh, shaking his head.
“I’ve been miserable. I hate being away from you.
It felt like shit to not talk to you.” Luka turned his head to look at Reno.
His cheeks were blotchy and his long lashes clumped together.
His eyes were the brightest shade of blue Reno had ever seen them and he couldn’t help but lean forward and press his forehead against Luka’s.
Luka’s eyes closed and he admitted, “My time with you meant more to me than I can say.”
“You can stay, as long as you like.”
“I saw your interview.”
Reno hummed. “That’s a little embarrassing, but I was hoping you did.”
“I love you, too.”
“Is it enough?” Reno said without thinking, and his heart swelled in his chest when Luka nodded.
Luka opened his eyes again, his lips parted, and the way he looked at Reno was so awed, so broken, yet so tentatively hopeful that Reno felt his breath catch in his throat.
“It is,” Luka whispered, casting his gaze down as a pained look crossed his face.
Reno gently brushed his fingers against Luka’s cheeks, catching the tears there, wiping away the misery they’d felt during their time apart.
When he leaned forward, Luka met him with his lips and a soft sigh, and it felt so right to kiss him, Reno wondered if Luka’s lips had been explicitly carved to fit his.
Reno mumbled against Luka’s skin, “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I shouldn’t have left.”
“Maybe not, but you’re here now.” Reno pressed his lips to the corner of Luka’s mouth, tasting salt. “I owe you one hundred apology.”
Luka shook his head and Reno put a hand in his hair to stop him.
“Yes, I do.” Reno leaned forward and kissed the corner of Luka’s eye, then the center of his forehead.
“I’m sorry. I should have trusted you with my fears.
I should have told you what I was worried about, and believed that you were strong enough to make your own choices.
I picked for you. I chose to shelter you wrongfully, and it was selfish of me to think it was my right to hold you back when you just wanted to be next to me.
I can’t make those kinds of choices for you.
” Reno’s fingers rubbed against Luka’s scalp, and Luka leaned into the touch.
“Just like you can’t tell me not to pick you.
Please, don’t tell me I can’t stand up against my work and fight for you.
That really hurt, and I should have told you it hurt. Okay?”
“Okay.” Luka sounded shaky, but Reno was pleased to see he’d stopped crying.
“So, Luka. My gorgeous, kind, strong, stubborn, miracle of a man—Let me explain to you, like I should have done in the beginning.
“You will always be watched if you’re with me.
They will write lies about you in tabloids.
They will track your every move online and most of your offline activities as well.
You could be followed by a crazy fan or a stalker.
People will be invasive about our relationship.
They may try to pull us apart. They will always be looking for errors, signs of distress, or anything that can start an interesting rumor because it's entertainment for them. I’m living this life, but you don’t have to. ”
“I—”
“No, wait, hold on. I want you to live this life with me, even if it’s terrible sometimes.
I want you by my side so badly that it feels like half of me is missing when you’re gone.
I have to be open about being with you, I have to be loud, I have to show you off, and hold your hand in public, and let you stand by my side.
Picking me means picking a life of scrutiny, but I can promise you —I will always try to make your time with me the happiest days of your life. ”
Luka put his lip between his teeth for a moment while he thought. “If I do, will you promise to trust me when I say I’m strong enough to handle these things? That, I can walk beside you, and not behind you?”
Reno threw his arms around Luka, who made a small, shocked sound before leaning into it. Hearing those questions from Luka was so comforting, Reno had to pull him down onto the bed and wrap himself around him, placing soft kisses all over Luka’s face, neck, then shoulder.
Luka huffed, pushing on Reno to get him to stop. He asked again, “Will you?”
“Of course.” Reno beamed at him and watched as Luka melted. “It would be an honor to trust your strength, to face things side by side.”
Luka rolled onto his side towards Reno and tangled their limbs together.
He let his eyes close, took in a deep breath, and Reno watched as his shoulders relaxed.
Reno reached out to trace all of Luka’s sharp, worried features, hoping that his fingers could eventually smooth all of them down until Luka softened under his touch.
He wanted a life so full of love, of fun, of gentleness, where Luka never had to fear again.
And, he knew if they tried together, it might happen.
“Tell me you’ll choose this,” Reno said, his fingers still tracing Luka’s cheekbones, his brows, his jawline.
Luka’s eyes slowly opened, clear and determined as he said, “I choose this. You. Us. As long as you’ll have me.”
Reno brought their lips together, and Luka’s words, his promise, were sweet on his tongue.
“As long as you’ll have me.”