~Chapter 22~
I don't like and never will like long drives.
I drove 2 hours to the southern pack and I can't feel anything from my knees down after sitting in the car.
Plus, I'm hungry.
The brakes squeal slightly.
The engine stops.
And for a split second… everything stops.
I don’t get out right away.
I don’t say anything.
I stand there with my hand on my belt, staring straight ahead.
The southern pack isn’t just big.
It’s… imposing.
Dark wooden buildings, solidly built, with nothing superfluous. Discreet but clear flags. Pack symbols. Power. Order.
And people.
Lots of them.
Too many for something “among friends.”
They’re constantly moving. Laughing. Talking. But it’s the kind of energy where… everyone notices everything.
Including us.
I feel my jaw tighten slightly.
“…I don’t like it.” I mutter.
Cedric doesn’t answer right away.
He rests his hand on the steering wheel for a second, then turns his head to me.
His gaze is calm.
Too calm.
“I know.”
I unbuckle my seatbelt in one motion.
Click.
The sound seems too loud in the silence of the car.
“But I’m here anyway,” I add.
“Yes.”
I take a deep breath.
I lick my lips and open the door.
The outside air hits me instantly.
Colder than I expected.
But heavy.
Heavy.
I step outside.
I straighten my shoulders slightly, as if trying to get my body back under control.
But the truth?
It’s not about the body.
It’s about who I am when I walk in there.
I hear Cedric’s door close.
His footsteps approach.
He doesn’t say anything.
He’s just there.
Almost.
I run a hand through my hair, instinctively arranging it.
Then I tug lightly at my tank top.
The jacket stays on my shoulder.
Undecided.
Just like me.
“Do I look okay?” I ask, without looking at him.
It’s not a superficial question.
It’s…
something else.
Cedric doesn’t answer right away.
I can feel him analyzing me.
Not critical.
Not harsh.
Careful.
“if you think pregnancy ruins your profile…then you’re terribly wrong, baby”
A small smile escapes my lips.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not lying. ”
I turn my head to him.
For a second… he holds me there.
His gaze.
Steady.
Sure.
And annoyingly reassuring.
“Come on.” he says simply.
I nod.
We start walking.
The road to the entrance of the building where the event is being held is not long.
But it feels long.
Because every step is noticed.
I feel the stares.
Not direct.
But there.
Short whispers. People who stop for a second too long.
"I recognize us." I murmur.
"Of course.
" Cedric replies.
"I don't like it."
"Me neither.
"
Perfect.
At least we're on the same wavelength.
"We get close to the entrance.
And then.
.two guys move in front of us.
Not aggressively.
But clearly intentional.
Guards.
Or something similar.
One of them crosses his arms.
"The invitation.
"
Simple.
No politeness.
No interest.
I reach into my pocket and take out the envelope.
I hold it between my fingers for a second.
The seal already broken.
I hold it out to him.
He takes it.
He looks.
His eyes linger for a split second longer than they should.
Then he looks at me.
Otherwise.
".
..Idris."
It's not a question.
A confirmation.
I raise my chin slightly.
"It depends on who's asking.
"
The corner of his mouth twitches.
Not quite a smile.
He hands me the envelope back.
He steps aside.
"You have access."
The other looks at Cedric.
More attentively.
More appraisingly.
"And him?"
I tense my jaw slightly.
But I don't get to say anything.
"The invitation allows it.
" Cedric says calmly.
His tone doesn't ask for approval.
He affirms it.
Pause.
Short.
Then the guard nods. ??
". ..okay."
They both step aside.
The way is clear.
I take the first step inside.
And immediately, the noise increases.
Voices. Low music. Laughter.
But underneath it all, tension.
This is not a normal party.
You can see it.
You can feel it.
I stop for a split second.
My gaze scans quickly.
Unknown faces.
A few familiar ones.
Too many unknown ones.
Cedric stops next to me.
"Breathe." he murmurs softly.
I don't look at him.
But I do.
I inhale.
I exhale.
The mask falls back into place.
Perfect.
"Done." I say.
And then..I feel.
The gaze.
Not from the crowd.
Not diffuse.
Direct.
I turn slowly.
And, there.
Otis.
Reclining relaxed, like he owns the place.
His smile is exactly as I remember it.
Dangerous.
Amused.
Too sure.
Beside him.. Rowan.
Silent.
Cold.
Eyes fixed on me.
Not blinking.
Not moving.
Just… analyzing.
I swallow slowly.
I feel my heart beating faster.
But I don't let anything show.
".
..okay." I murmur softly.
Cedric has already seen them.
Of course.
I feel his presence shifting slightly next to me.
More attentive.
More... ready.
"We can still go." he says, very slowly.
A smile escapes me.
Not a big one.
But enough.
"No."
I straighten my shoulders slightly.
I lift my chin.
And look straight at them.
Otis raises his glass.
Like a greeting.
A clear challenge.
Accepted.
I take a step forward.
Then another.
"Stay close.
" I murmur to Cedric.
"I'm not going anywhere.
"
Perfect.
Because something tells me.
.this won't just be a date.
It's the beginning of something.
And not something quiet.
We get closer.
With each step, Otis’s smile becomes more…
vivid.
Not fake. Not completely sincere.
Exactly his type.
“I’m glad you came here…
” he says, his voice light, almost warm.
“…with Loxley.”
He glances briefly at Cedric.
Then back at me.
I raise an eyebrow.
“You’re not changing at all.”
Otis laughs briefly.
“Yeah. I’ve become more charming.”
“Debatable.”
For a second, it’s exactly like before.
No heavy tension.
Just lines thrown naturally.
As if… nothing has changed.
Rowan sits next to him.
Silent.
As he always has.
But his eyes scan me again.
Slower.
More attentive.
His gaze drops.
To my stomach.
He pauses there for a split second too long.
Then he comes back to my face.
His head tilts slightly to the side.
“What did you do?” he says calmly. “You changed the room to… pastry?”
Otis lets out a short “oh…”, like he shouldn’t laugh.
But he laughs anyway.
Not loudly.
Just enough to be heard.
I feel it.
The blow.
Small.
But right where it needs to be.
My jaw tightens slightly.
I don’t answer right away.
Because, for a second, it’s not about them anymore.
It’s about me.
About how I see myself.
And I don’t like it.
My gaze falls for a split second.
Then… Cedric moves next to me.
Barely perceptible.
But enough.
“He is pregnant..” Cedric says, facing Rowan.
Quiet.
No explanation.
No defensive tone.
Just… truth.
Pause.
Real
Otis blinks.
Once.
Then he smiles wider.
“I knew it!”
Rowan shifts his gaze to him, slightly surprised.
“Really?”
Otis shrugs, relaxed.
“I guessed it.” He looks at me again.
This time… different. Not mockingly.
Not completely.“You know I said she looked like our cousin when she was pregnant.”
A puff of air escapes my nose.
Not quite a laugh.
But close.
“You compare people to your relatives?”
“Only the interesting ones.”
Rowan sighs softly, rolling his eyes.
“You’re impossible.”
“I know.”
Silence.
But it’s not awkward.
It’s… different.
Softer than before.
Cedric places his hand lightly on my back.
Not possessive.
Not obvious.
But there.
“So…” Otis says, tilting his head. “You really came.”
I lift my chin slightly.
“You sent the invitation.”
“I sent the challenge.” he corrects.
I smile.
“I know.”
Rowan looks at me for another second.
Then he says, more quietly:
“And you accepted it anyway.”
I look at him directly.
“Always.”
The silence between us is no longer awkward.
But it’s not easy either.
Otis says something else.
Rowan corrects him. Cedric stays by my side.
And I..am not quite there anymore.
Because I feel it again.
Hunger.
But not just that.
The noise.
The stares. Everything.
Too much.
I lick my lips and glance around briefly.
Tables. People. Movement.
"I'm hungry.
I'll be right back," I say simply.
I don't ask for approval.
I don't explain.
Cedric looks at me for a split second.
He knows.
"I'll come after you.
"
I shake my head slightly.
"I don't have to.
"
I touch his hand for a second.
Briefly.
Enough.
Then I pull away.
I get lost in the crowd.
Or... I pretend to.
My steps are calm. Controlled.
But in my head, chaos. Food.
First thought.
Food now.
Second.
Food or I'll kill someone.
Third.
A puff of air escapes my nose.
"Perfect..." I murmur.
I reach the tables with food.
Plates. All sorts of things.
I don't stop to analyze.
I take a plate.
I put something in.
Then some more.
"Okay… that's clearly too much." I mutter, but I don't stop.
I put the first sip in my mouth.
And for a second,
silence.
Real.
I chew slowly.
My breathing stabilizes a little.
"That was…”
But it doesn't last.
Because the noise around me doesn't go away.
Laughter. Footsteps. Overlapping voices.
And I feel that tension under my skin again.
I swallow.
I take another sip.
But it's not enough.
It's not about hunger.
Not completely.
My gaze rises.
Balcony.
Open doors. Fresh air.
Quieter.
Exactly what I need.
Or… something close to that.
I get there without thinking too much.
I push the door open.
The cold air hits me again.
This time… good.
I take a deep breath.
Once.
Twice.
The sound from inside becomes muffled.
Further.
I lean against the railing.
I stare into space for a second.
Then, I reach into my pocket.
The package.
I take it out.
I hold it between my fingers.
I look at it.
More than I should.
"…seriously?" I murmur softly.
It's not something I do often.
Not now.
Not when my stomach is...
I clench my jaw slightly.
"It doesn't matter.
"
I take out a cigarette.
I roll it between my fingers.
Lighter.
The flame appears.
Small.
Steady.
I bring it closer.
Inhale.
The smoke fills my lungs.
It burns a little.
But… it's calming.
I exhale slowly.
The smoke disappears into the air.
I lean closer to the railing.
The lost gaze in front of me.
For a few seconds, there's no one left.
Not Vale.
Not the crowd.
Not the stares.
Just me.
And this imperfect silence.
I run a hand over my stomach.
Instinctively.
My breath stops for a split second.
"…I know." I murmur softly.
It's not for me.
Not completely.
I take another drag.
Slower this time.
"It's not something I do."
I exhale.
My gaze softens slightly.
"Just today.
"
A lie.
Or maybe not.
But right now it doesn't matter.
Because I need it.
For peace.
For a break.
For… control.
I close my eyes for a second.
Just a second.
And it almost… disappears.
"I didn't know this area was reserved just for you."
The voice hits me gently from the side.
I open my eyes.
I turn my head.
A man.
Leaning loosely against the railing, not too far from me.
I don’t recognize him.
But he… clearly doesn’t seem bothered by it.
He studies me for a second.
Then he smiles.
Not aggressively.
Not forcefully.
Just… sure of himself.
“I’m sorry if I intruded on your dramatic moment.
” he adds softly.
A puff of air escapes my nose.
Not quite a laugh.
But close.
“It’s not dramatic.
”
“Really?” he raises an eyebrow.
“Because you look like you’re struggling with some very interesting thoughts.
”
I look at him for a second.
Then I take a drag on my cigarette.
“Maybe.”
He steps a little closer.
Not too much.
Enough to get more clearly into my space.
“Then maybe you need a distraction.”
I tilt my head slightly.
“You think so?”
“I know.”
I’m studying him more closely now.
Slight smile. Direct gaze.
The kind of person who isn’t afraid to try.
“You’re pretty sure of yourself.
”
“Only when it’s worth it.”
A small smile escapes my lips.
“And I deserve it?”
He looks at me for a second longer.
Unhurriedly.
“Sure.”
Short silence.
Not awkward.
Not at all.
“What’s your name, sir?” I ask, leaning more firmly against the railing.
“Erik.”
I nod slowly.
“Idris.”
“Delighted.” he says simply.
He tilts his head slightly, his gaze dropping for a split second.
Then he comes back.
“You’re…” he pauses for a second, choosing his words.
“beautiful.”
Direct.
No detours.
I look at him.
I don’t back down.
I don’t deny.
“Thank you.”
My tone is calm.
Maybe too calm.
But I don’t reject him.
Not yet.
“And mysterious.” he continues, smiling slightly.
“That’s more of a problem than a compliment.
”
“It depends.”
He rests his elbow on the railing, closer now.
“I like problems.”
I roll my eyes slightly.
“Sure.”
I take another drag.
I exhale slowly.
“And you?” I ask. “Are you the problem or the solution?”
He smiles wider.
“It depends on who’s asking.”
“It sounds familiar.”
“Maybe because it’s true.
”
Silence again.
But closer now.
More… personal.
Erik stares at me for another second.
Then he says more quietly:
“You should smile more often.”
I tilt my head.
“You have no idea how often I do.”
“I don’t think so.
”
A real smile escapes my lips this time.
Small.
But there.
And right then, I feel.
The presence.
I don’t hear footsteps.
I don’t hear a voice.
But I know.
Erik doesn’t get to say anything else.
Because a low, steady voice..cuts the air.
"I was looking for you, wife."
I freeze for a split second.
Then I turn.
Cedric.
He's standing in the doorway.
His gaze. isn't calm. Not completely.
It's fixed.
On me.
Then on Erik.
Analyzing.
Evaluating.
The man raises an eyebrow slightly.
But he doesn't retreat immediately.
Interesting.
Cedric takes a step forward.
Then another.
He stops next to me.
Too close to be accidental.
His hand rests on my waist.
Firm.
But controlled.
"You just said you were getting something and you disappeared," he continues, more quietly now.
I look at him.
The corner of my mouth lifts slightly.
"You found me."
His gaze doesn't leave me.
But I can feel the tension in him.
Under the skin.
Erik clears his throat slightly.
“I didn’t know…
” he pauses for a second. “you’re busy.
”
Cedric finally looks at him.
Direct.
No rush.
“He’s…
and he’s pregnant.” Simple.
He doesn’t raise his voice.
He’s not aggressive.
But it’s clear.
Very clear.
Erik studies me for a second.
Then he smiles slightly.
Not tense.
More like… amused.
“Lucky you.”
Cedric doesn’t answer.
He just looks at him.
The man nods slightly.
He takes a step back.
“See you later, Idris.”
I raise my chin slightly.
“Maybe.”
He smiles.
Then he walks away.
It's just the two of us.
"Really?" he murmurs.
I roll my eyes.
"What?"
"Two minutes."
A smile escapes my lips.
"You're jealous."
"No." Pause. "Maybe."
I laugh softly.
"Pathetic."
"For you? Yes."
I turn my head to him.
Our gazes meet.
"You know...you really don't have to tell everyone I have a child.
Please, stop" I murmur and put out my cigarette, throwing it over the railing and leaning against it.
"Maybe" Cedric says, and then he leans over me, sitting with his stomach pressed against my back.
"But I want to brag that my dick could conceive a child" he whispers and puts his hands in my pants.
But I stop him.
"Cedric" I murmur trying to refrain from the pleasant sensation that his body releases next to mine "we're outside.
In public. Just at home. Please" I say with pauses and turn to face him.
He leans towards me and I look up at him.
He seems... satisfied? I don't know.
"What?" I mumble and laugh softly, bringing one of my hands to his cheek and placing it there.
Cedric takes my hand and kisses it. "I just..
. I feel so grateful to have someone in my life who cares, baby.
I can't wait to get your dad to sign the papers so I can get you out of your pack," he says and walks over to me.
Cedric remains silent for a second.
His gaze is no longer playful.
It's no longer ironic. It's fixed. Heavy.
The air between us becomes tighter, as if the balcony has suddenly shrunk.
He relaxes his jaw only after a few seconds.
"I don't like the way he was looking at you.
" he says simply.
A small, tired smile escapes me.
"Really? That's all you had to say?
"
He exhales slowly through his nose, then shifts his gaze to the city, not to me.
"It's not about what I have to say. It's about what I see."
Silence.
The wind passes gently between us.
I cross my arms, leaning against the railing.
"It was nothing."
Cedric turns his head to me.
"For me, there is no 'nothing' when someone looks at you like they can take you."
Calm tone.
But definitely.
I roll my eyes, but without any anger.
"You're being dramatic."
"I'm paying attention."
Then he takes a step closer.
He doesn't invade my space completely, but he reduces it enough for me to feel his presence.
"You were gone for two minutes.
"
"I ate."
"And you smoked.
"
I freeze for a split second.
".
..and?"
He looks at me directly.
"And you were alone on a balcony full of people who don't know you.
"
A small sigh escapes me.
"Cedric. .."
But I don't finish.
Because he raises his hand and lightly touches my waist, this time just to bring me closer, not for anything else.
Simple gesture.
Controlled.
Sure.
"I don't like looking for you and not finding you.
" he says more softly.
Silence.
For a second, the noise in the room completely disappears for me.
I look at him.
He looks back at me.
And that tension... changes.
It doesn't disappear.
It just becomes something else.
Quieter.
More personal.
“I’m here.” he murmurs.
Cedric nods slightly.
“I know.”
But he doesn’t pull away immediately.
Just a second more.
Then he lets his forehead very slightly closer to mine, without quite touching it.
“Come back.” he says softly.
“I don’t like this party.
”
“Neither do I.”
A small smile escapes my lips.
“Then why are we here?”
Cedric stares at me.
“Because you didn’t want to leave.
” Pause. Then he adds, more softly: “And because I’m not leaving you here alone.
”
I close my eyes for a second.
I breathe.
“You’re impossible.”
“For you?”
“Yes.”
He lets his hand slide gently from my waist, but stays by my side.
“Okay.” he says.
“Okay?”
“Yes. I like being impossible for you.”
A short, sincere laugh escapes me.
“You’re lost.”
“For a long time.”
Silence.
This time it’s not tense.
Just warm.
Cedric turns his gaze to the balcony door.
“Are we going back?” he asks.
I look at him for another second.
Then I nod.
“Yes.”
And when we re-enter the noise of the hall, something still remains with us.
Not jealousy.
Not tension.
But the way he didn’t leave me lost for even two minutes.