30. Chapter 29
Chapter 29
T hey had the fire out at the office before it spread too far. Summer’s tea area was the only section destroyed. The wood from the hutch was blackened, unlike the porcelain cups, which had cracked and shattered when the hutch collapsed.
The fire was small, isolated, and targeted. Ramiro’s eyes burned from the lingering smoke as he stared at the part of the office that had been all for Summer, his hands twitching at his sides.
“Who in the cartel still knows about her?”
Seb grimaced. “Ovidio didn’t trust anyone. Not even his brothers.”
Ash leaned into the open front door, his hands on the upper part of the frame, his expression bored. “You don’t know this was about her.”
Ramiro stared at the destroyed hutch. “This was a message. Could Ovidio still be alive? ”
Ash shrugged. “If he is, no one knows about it. I’m telling you, they’re pretty desperate. The Arenellos are already sniffing around, but most see that as a good thing. They’re hoping to make money again. The Guzmans have been losing steam for a while.”
“Because they can’t lie low for shit,” Seb said, kicking at a piece of charred wood that crumbled from the pressure. “Half are in prison and the other half are dead.” His arms folded as he glared at the mess. “They’re all idiots.”
“Don’t you mean ‘we’re’?” Ash asked, smirking at the other man as he turned his eyes on him.
“I have my moments,” Seb agreed, his tension fading as he moved over to the visitor chair and collapsed into it.
“Move aside,” Diego said, shoving past Ash, who had been blocking the doorway. “Fucking hell, that smoke smell is going to be a bitch to get out.” He dragged a chair to the corner to fiddle with the camera that had had a perfect view of the fire. It hadn’t picked up a goddamn thing.
“You two can take off,” Ramiro said to Ash and Seb. “Can you stop by tomorrow and clear out everything that’s not salvageable?” Bagging up Summer’s special corner would make him furious all over again. “I’ll get a cleaning crew for the smoke after that and work out of my house this week.”
“Tell Summer I’ll miss seeing her pretty smile in here,” Ash said, his own smile widening as Ramiro narrowed his eyes on him, more out of expectation than heat .
“Fuck off,” he said, but his tone was flat. He couldn’t rise to the teasing, not when he still wasn’t sure how best to strike back.
“I’ll see what I can scope out.” Seb pushed up from the chair. “A cousin took a bullet to the chest a while back, so I know of a surgeon they’ve used before. Maybe Ovidio showed up there.”
Ramiro nodded at him. “Appreciate it.”
Ash shifted into Seb’s shoulder as he passed by. “Teacher’s pet.” He chuckled as Seb gave him the side-eye, and they headed out to the parking lot, their voices muffled and calm.
Neither one gave a shit about anything. Ramiro couldn’t remember what that had felt like.
He crossed to Summer’s reception desk, checking on the computer equipment. The fire hadn’t spread that far. He’d bring it back home to set up a temporary desk for her in his office.
Diego stepped down from the chair. “I’ll check the outside,” he said, rubbing a hand through his messy hair, his tattoos a darker shadow beneath the fluorescent lighting that had turned on just fine, despite the fire.
The damage was minimal, but infuriating.
Ramiro sank into Summer’s chair, which was too small for his frame but held a hint of lavender under the smoke, as if her scent had soaked into the fabric.
He dragged his phone out, checking the feed at home again. Summer still lay on the couch, reading a book. She was safe. A part of him had worried that the fire was a way to get her alone, but no one even knew about his house. Hayes had buried his ownership of the property under multiple layers.
Summer smiled at something she read, a soft and small smile, but one that made his chest ache.
“The camera equipment looks fine,” Diego said, coming back in. “No wire cut, no tinkering at all that I can tell from this side of things. Get your hacker back on it. Whatever disruption happened, it had to be with the wireless feed.”
Hayes had already checked, and Ramiro knew if he said he had nothing, he had nothing. “Maybe they just knew the blind spots.”
“They busted in the fucking door. The camera’s pointed right at it.” Diego sighed, sinking into the chair Seb had vacated.
“Sorry to pull you out here for nothing,” Ramiro said.
“It wasn’t for nothing. Tampering on this end had to be eliminated as a possibility.” Diego studied him. “You know, my world hasn’t narrowed in the way you think it has. If you need me, I’m there. You’re important to me, too, Ram, and my life didn’t end now that I have kids.”
Ramiro opened his mouth to argue, but when Diego scowled at him, he switched tactics. “Fine. I’ll drag you away from Hannah and her kids as often as I can. Happy now?”
“Fuck you. Not gonna lie, I enjoy my time with them the most, and I appreciate you letting me have that. It’s my choice to spend my days with them. It’s not Hannah tying me down, or whatever shit you’ve been thinking. ”
The idea of Summer tying him down wasn’t a terrible image. Ramiro flushed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You’re such an asshole.” Diego stretched, pushing up from the chair. “How is Summer?”
“Perfect.” Ramiro rubbed a hand over his face and down his beard. “Every moment with her is so fucking perfect that I’m scared it’s going to end.”
Diego laughed. “It’s both the best and the worst feeling, isn’t it?” He lifted a hand, his back already to him. “I’m getting back to my perfect life.”
Ramiro watched him leave before dragging the computer and monitor to his trunk, as well as the flowered computer mouse she liked so much. After he slammed the trunk closed, he glanced around, but all was quiet.
He took the long way around town, keeping an eye on his rearview mirror. There was nothing, but after half an hour and multiple turns, one clunker far back caught his attention.
Ramiro pulled over after he turned the next corner, waiting. The clunker came around the corner as he expected, but when he noticed Ash behind the wheel, he relaxed.
The rusted-out Camry pulled over in front of his car, and Ramiro got out. Ash had to crank down the window, the car was so old.
“Where’d you find this piece of shit?” he asked.
Ash shrugged. “I’ve got a few spread around town.”
Ramiro sighed. “I thought I told you to take off? ”
“You did.” Ash leaned an elbow out the window. “Just had to check.”
Ramiro looked behind him. “See anything?”
Ash shook his head. “If they were tailing you, they got lost a while back. You nearly shook me off.”
Ramiro studied the man, but like usual, he couldn’t get a good read on him. “You don’t normally do extra.”
Ash shrugged. “It wasn’t for you.”
Ramiro’s mouth went dry. Ash was younger than him, closer to Summer’s age, and flirty. Much closer to what he’d always pictured for her.
“I’m not giving her up,” he warned.
Ash smiled, this one not a smirk, just small and self-deprecating. “I wouldn’t dream of stepping on toes. As I said, just checking.”
Ramiro nodded, but his shoulders still felt tight.
“Don’t leave her alone too long.” Ash pulled his arm back in and completed the slow crank to roll the window back up.
Ramiro stared after him, annoyed that after so many years, he still didn’t know the man well at all.
T he rest of the weekend was uneventful. Ramiro said little when he’d gotten home, but he’d worked in his office until it was late. Summer fell asleep on the couch waiting for him but woke up snuggling with him in bed .
The fire at the office had bothered him, especially not knowing how it had been set. Summer couldn’t help with that, so she did the things she could by making him coffee and lunch and urging him to take breaks when he’d been sitting too long. She squealed a little when he dragged her onto his lap during the third break and kissed her breathless.
He rested his forehead against hers while she panted for air, her heart racing. “Sorry for working so much, baby girl. Why don’t we cuddle on the couch for a bit?”
“If you have more to do, you should focus on that. I know it’s important, and I like supporting you while you work.”
“You’re important.” He kissed her nose. “How are you feeling? Did making lunch bother you?”
“It was fine.” She’d had to breathe through her nose when the chicken came out of the oven, but she didn’t want to talk about anything that reminded her she hadn’t yet taken the next step toward the adoption.
Ramiro’s forehead was wrinkled when he pulled back, and she soothed her thumb over it. “Whatever is going on with the cartel, you’ll figure it out. You always keep us safe, me and those men of yours that you took in just like you did me.”
He frowned. “Not just like. No one is like you, Summer. All the men who work for me are assholes.”
She shook her head, running her hands through his hair and behind his neck.
“I’ll take another kiss instead of the couch cuddle. Then you can get back to work. ”
He let out a hum, capturing her lips all over again.
He worked the rest of Sunday away. It bothered her when she went to bed alone again, but she pushed the sludgy feeling down, telling herself not to be so needy. It was one night. Well, two. If she complained, he’d get annoyed with her.
Summer didn’t wake up alone. She woke up already gasping and with her legs shaking as an orgasm ripped through her.
Ramiro rose from between her legs, his mouth glistening, his eyes hot on hers. “Good morning,” he said huskily, crawling up to collapse beside her, his arm draping over her breasts. “Was that okay? You didn’t like my mouth on you last time, but I thought you might not mind so much if you were sleeping, and I needed to taste you.”
Summer liked the result. She flushed as she imagined what he’d been doing. His mouth and tongue and face had been buried between her legs, and she hadn’t been aware enough to feel self-conscious about it. Her body had no complaints as her mind raced.
She rolled toward him, his erection poking her in the stomach. He’d gotten hard from using his mouth on her. She should offer to reciprocate. Her breath choked in her throat as she thought about doing that.
“Hey,” he murmured, cupping her head and bringing her eyes up to meet his. “I’m sorry. I crossed a line.”
“No, I’m not upset.” She leaned forward but hesitated to kiss him with her smell all over his beard and lips. Pulling back without kissing him, she wriggled against his erection. “But you didn’t get to come.”
“It’s not about keeping score. I got exactly what I wanted, you coming all over my face.” He rolled away from her, climbing out of bed. “I should get cleaned up, so my baby girl won’t hesitate to kiss me anymore.”
Watching his back made her chest ache. “Wait!” she called, struggling to sit up.
Ramiro turned around immediately, padding back to the bed. “What is it?” he asked, running a hand over her shoulder.
Summer’s body still felt limp, residual pulses tugging inside of her. “I like waking up like that. You can do it again, if you want.” She swallowed, looking up at this man who couldn’t really be hers. “You can do anything you want to me while I’m sleeping.”
“What about now? Can I bury my face between your legs again right now?” he asked.
Nerves twisted in her stomach even as heat slid inside her, but Ramiro leaned closer, his torso blocking the light from the window.
Summer’s fingers curled into the comforter, needing to grip something. “M-maybe not right now,” she mumbled.
Ramiro eased away, and she couldn’t meet his eyes. “Look at me, Summer,” he said.
Her head felt so heavy. She struggled to lift it, finally forcing herself to meet his eyes. As soon as she did, her body relaxed. She was with Ramiro .
“You’ll always be safe with me.” His spoken words echoed her thoughts.
Ramiro always wanted to make her feel safe. She expected him to promise her again that they’d work on her triggers, that he’d help her with them.
He gripped her chin instead, his grip firm. “But be careful how much freedom you give me. I’m obsessed with making you feel good.” His tongue slid over his bottom lip, as if tasting her there. “Let me do whatever I want, and you’ll be coming all day long. I’ll make you come until you beg me to stop because you can’t take any more.”
Summer flushed under that predatory look in his eyes. He’d never looked at her that way before, not that she’d ever noticed.
He turned away, humming in his throat in that way he did whenever he was thinking through something. The thought that he was considering what to do to her made her thighs squeeze together.
She scrambled from the bed, picking up her bottoms from the floor and dragging them on. Her steps felt light as she went to the kitchen to prepare his coffee. She was still stirring the cream in when he placed a kiss on the side of her neck, crowding her against the counter and making her heart speed up.
“You always make it the way I like it.”
Her insides smoothed out at the compliment.
He released her, stepping back. “Since the office needs some repairs, we’ll work out of here this week.” His fingers brushed over hers as he accepted the mug. “Why don’t you get dressed, and I’ll make you some tea. Meet me in the home office?”
Summer nodded, though disappointment tugged at her. She loved their time at the office. It felt routine, comfortable, familiar. She did actual paperwork for him, important things, not just bringing him lunch.
To feel a little more normal, she put on one of her work outfits, a long flowered skirt, yellow roses this time, paired with a yellow blouse. When she stepped through the door to his office, she paused, taking in the rearrangement of the space. Across from Ramiro’s desk was a similar one, with her normal computer set up on it, down to the mouse she’d splurged on because she thought it was cute.
“You like it?” he asked.
She loved it—she’d be right there with him all day—but she bit her lip at how much smaller the space looked, with no privacy for him. He wouldn’t be able to get away from her at all. “It might be better if I’m in the living room. That’s about how far away my desk normally is.”
“I wouldn’t have put you in here if I didn’t want you here,” Ramiro said, taking a sip of his coffee.
Summer flushed. He wanted her close as much as she did. No, she shouldn’t read too much into it. This was just convenient. She stared at the phone set up on the desk. “What about your calls?”
“I had them routed here. ”
She shook her head. “I mean, they wouldn’t be private. I’d hear every word.”
“I’m not worried about that.”
“But—”
“Summer,” he interrupted. She let her gaze move up his fancy suit before meeting his. She liked when he was a little stern with her while looking all buttoned up. “Have I ever hidden what kind of man I am from you?”
“No,” she murmured.
He leaned back in his chair. “Then come over here, give me a kiss, and let’s get to work.”
Her legs were already moving, and the second their lips touched, he hauled her up onto his lap, deepening the kiss. She no longer smelled herself on him, but the way he stroked her with his tongue made her wonder if he’d stroked the same way between her legs while she was sleeping.
Heat slid through her as she pulled back, finding him grinning down at her.
“This should be how we start every workday,” Ramiro murmured, brushing back her hair.
A laugh escaped. “You’d never get anything done.”
He kissed her forehead. “You’ll keep me organized. Now turn around. I have something else to ask you about.”
She turned on his lap, more heat drifting through her as she felt his erection behind her. A slow wiggle had his breath puffing against the back of her neck .
“Naughty,” he breathed out, one of his hands holding her hips still as he reached around her with the other to enlarge a window on the computer screen. Stunning porcelain tea sets filled the monitor on a website that looked even fancier than the glazed design she had before.
“Pick one,” he said.
There were no prices on any of them. She interpreted that as, if you need to know the price, you can’t afford them. “I couldn’t,” she whispered.
“This is for me.” He was such a liar. “I need to replace what was broken.”
“It’s fine. You never should have bought them for me in the first place.” She’d mentioned wanting a tea set on a whim, not realizing he’d go out and get it for her. Her eyes felt hot, but she blinked the tears back. She’d already cried the day before when he told her the hutch and all her china had been damaged. It wasn’t that they were gone; it was that she would miss remembering the joy from when he’d surprised her with them every time she looked at them.
“I don’t need them,” she said.
That was the truth. She’d only wanted them. It was the piece of candy all over again, only Ramiro hadn’t just said yes, he’d rained candies down on her. That was how she’d felt every time she touched one of the delicate cups.
“You loved that tea set. Let me replace it.” He moved the mouse over a blue floral design similar to before. “This one? ”
It was beautiful. Her eyes slid away from it, locking on a different set in the bottom right corner. It wasn’t similar at all, but something about the way the flowers weaved along the white porcelain drew her to it. They even had intricately carved bases that looked almost too delicate to touch.
Ramiro moved the mouse over to the one she was staring at. “This one, then.”
Summer’s nerves spiked. “I didn’t say that one.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I’ll keep scrolling in case there’s another one you like better.”
There wasn’t. Nothing was as beautiful as that one set. She let out a breathy sigh when he scrolled back up to click on the one she liked best, then she shifted with guilt. “You really don’t have to buy it,” she tried again.
His arm wrapped around her stomach, pulling her back against him. “I like spoiling you. You’ll have to get used to it.”
His words made her squirm, and he groaned in her ear. “Keep moving against me like that, and we won’t get any work done today.”
She bit her lip, her pulse racing at the urge to test how true that was. She shifted again, just a small shift.
Ramiro’s mouth found her neck, sucking there and making tingles shoot everywhere. He nipped over the wet spot he’d made. “You won’t distract me from buying you this.”
She grabbed his hand, dragging it to her breast. “Are you sure? ”
He hummed in his throat as he bit down a little harder. “Positive. Look, it’s going in the cart even now.”
She gasped, opening her eyes to look. He really was buying the tea set. She imagined using it, and butterflies swooped inside her stomach along with the racing tingles from his mouth.
Her eyes drifted up to the tabs, the word ‘nursery’ on the one behind the current active tab making her throat squeeze. Her body tensed, and Ramiro raised his head.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.” She tried to slide off his lap, but his grip stopped her.
“Summer?” he asked, turning her to face him.
She plastered on a smile. “It’s really nothing.”
He hummed, his eyes narrowing as he studied her. Then he looked back at the computer, and she tried to slip away again.
“There are other sites if you don’t like this tea set. I can—”
Her hand covered his mouth. “That’s not it. I love that one. You’ve made me so happy.”
He pulled her hand away. “Then why aren’t you smiling your real smile?”
Her lips dropped, the ache of holding the smile fading.
He shifted his hands to rub her back, his eyes searching hers again. “Did I come on too strong?” He seemed to realize he was touching her. She hated how his hands dropped away. “I liked being teased by you, but maybe I took it too far.”
“No!” She grabbed his hands and dragged them back to her hips. The last thing she wanted was for him to go back to being careful with her, not after he’d finally let go. “It’s none of that. I just…” She swallowed, closing her eyes. “I noticed the other tab,” she admitted.
He shifted forward, clicking with the mouse. “The nursery research?”
She nodded. “You don’t have to research that. I’m not keeping the baby.” Saying the words felt like dragging gravel up her throat. She didn’t want to think about this. She didn’t want to think about this at all.
Ramiro’s hands drew her against his chest. His heart beat a little fast under her ear as his arms tightened around her.
“What if I’ve been thinking about keeping her?”
Ice filled her veins as her breath caught. No. He couldn’t dangle that in front of her. He didn’t mean it.
“I haven’t seen you pursuing the adoption idea. It makes me think you might want to keep her.”
Summer wished she could close her ears. “No. I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
Claws were shredding her inside. She shook her head against his chest, keeping the sob behind her lips.
He pulled back, cupping her face, making it too easy for the tears to fall. “Why can’t you, Summer?” he pressed. “You can do anything you want. Can’t is the wrong word, isn’t it?”
“It’s not yours!” The reminder dragged the sob out of her throat, and she fought to choke it back .
Ramiro’s forehead dropped to hers. “It’s mine if I decide it’s mine. Tell me now that you want it, and it’s mine, just like you are.”
“No!” She wrenched herself from his arms, scrambling back. “I can’t!” She shook her head, nausea swirling. “I can’t,” she said, but the words had no volume.
Ramiro stood, his hand clutching the desk. “Why?” he asked again. “Why are you so scared?”
Her mind stilled as she stared back at him. The panicked racing of her heart, her gasping breaths, the way she wanted to fly away from this moment, pretend it wasn’t happening—it all pointed to fear, just like he said.
Fear of losing him.
Only, he’d just said she wouldn’t. Confusion swirled.
“It’s okay,” he said, his hands lifted as he took a step toward her. “You don’t have to decide anything today. To be honest, children still terrify me.” He was right in front of her, his arms so warm as they slid around her, pulling her close.
“I’m scared.” Saying the words made the urge to run fade. “I don’t think I can do it.”
“That’s okay, too. We’ll do whatever you want, as long as it’s what you want.”
She loved the way he kissed her hair. Her arms felt so heavy when they lifted to wrap around him in return. His suit jacket was absorbing her tears again. She was such a crybaby .
“I’m not convinced you know what you want yet.” Ramiro’s breath fanned her hair as he held her close. “So, yeah, I’m researching nurseries.”
She sighed, letting his voice soothe her.
“But I need you to know something.” He pulled back, waited for her face to lift, for her eyes to meet his. “The idea of holding your daughter? Of a little girl who looks just like you? I don’t hate it.”
She blinked, her lips parting.
His lips firmed, and he let out a breath. “I won’t lie and say I’m completely on board. It really is fucking terrifying.” He grimaced.
The pressure in her chest eased. He looked as panicked as she felt.
He wiped a thumb over her damp cheek. “I’ll try my hardest to love her, if you decide to keep her, though it seems impossible that I could love her even half as much as I love you.”
She leaned her head against his hand, taking a breath. “I don’t think I’d be good for her,” she admitted.
Ramiro pulled her into his body again. “You’d be a great mom, if you want to be.”
“I wouldn’t.” The words were muffled against his jacket, but he still heard her.
“You would,” he said, but he didn’t keep trying to convince her. He just held her .
Words wouldn’t be enough to convince her. Nothing would. Still, she felt a little lighter as she thought of the baby growing inside of her.