Chapter Nineteen
nineteen
Warren
Her hands massage my scalp as I lie my head in her lap. No one has ever been so delicate with me.
Only my mother has ever hugged me and spoken to me softly. This feels so warm and gentle, and I know that I’m undeserving of Selena’s care.
“Selena, your opinion of me may change when I tell you the next part,” I say, and her eyes go wide. I push back on my legs and sit so that I’m facing her. She’s no longer touching me, and the absence of her hands on my body feels physically painful.
“When the police called me, I didn’t have an alibi. I told them I was with you. That you are my girlfriend.” I watch as her eyes go wide and then narrow as realization sets in.
“You lied to the police?” she asks, her voice rising.
Ok, she’s pissed.
She goes to stand, but I grab her hands again. “Wait, please don’t walk away. Let me keep explaining,” I demand.
Selena is fast as she scoots over and jumps up. She races toward the kitchen, and I chase after her.
“How could you get me involved in something like that?” she cries out. “Are you trying to destroy my life? Is this payback for what I wrote about Shadows?”
The pained look in her eyes almost breaks me. She moves to a drawer, and I see her pull out a large knife.
“Selena, you and I both know that you are not going to do anything with that knife. Just put it down and let’s finish talking,” I try to persuade her, but that fiery look is back in her eyes.
Why does that turn me on?
“This is a big deal, Warren! I’m now involved in a murder,” she cries.
“No, you just need to tell them you were here with me all night. All night. If they ask. That you are my girlfriend.” I take a slow step toward her, but Selena holds the knife out in front of her.
“Don’t come any closer,” she warns.
I take another step toward her. Her hands are shaking, and I know she’s terrified, but I also know that she trusts me. In some sick and twisted way, she sees that she’s the only person in this world that I won’t hurt.
Her eyes go wide as I close the space between us. I am so close that the sharp blade of the knife is now against my chest. If she wanted to, she could push it into my chest and stab me right in the heart. I’m giving her that power so she knows that I’m not here to hurt her.
For what feels like hours, we stand there, face-to-face, with the knife touching my body. “Selena, I’m not going to hurt you, and I know that you don’t want to hurt me. You are angry, and I understand that.” My words are slow and calm.
After a minute, she drops the knife and lets out a sob. I wrap my arms around her and pull her tightly against me. She cries into my chest, all of her anger, frustration, and fear coming out. I take it all in, so that she can release those worries and give them to me instead.
This thing with Selena is complicated, but I can’t stay away from her. Maybe I’m pulling her into this mess with me so she can’t get away from me? Maybe I’m forcing her to care about me because I desperately need her to.
I’ve never wanted anything more than I want Selena, and now, I will do anything to keep her in my life.
“I won't hurt you, do you know that, Selena?” I ask her, as I gently stroke the back of her head.
“Yes,” she whimpers.
“I also won’t let anyone else hurt you. I just need your help. I know I’m a fucking asshole for getting you involved in this, but…”
I stop myself because what I’m about to say next might just piss her off again. She stops crying and looks up at me. Her puffy, tear-filled eyes make my heart ache. I hate that I made her cry, and I hate even more that it’s causing me to feel guilt.
“But what?” she asks, her sassy tone returning.
Sighing, I hold her out at arm's length. “Ok, I need you not to hit me, and I need to make sure you can’t reach for any more sharp knives,” I say. She rolls her eyes, and I continue. “I wouldn’t have involved you if we had never met. You came looking for us and a story with Shadows.”
Her mouth falls open, and her eyes turn angry like a raging storm. She’s silent for a second, and then she says, “I hate that you have a point.”
“Are you going to hit me?” I ask, half joking.
She rolls her eyes. “Not sure yet.”
“Ok, that’s fair. Look, if you help me, I will make it worth your while,” I offer.
She places a hand on her hip. “Yeah, how so?”
“I will give you the story you want. Full interview and a tour of Shadows. Anything you want,” I offer.
I know that I’m literally giving her my life and privacy on a silver platter. At some level, she has to realize how important that is to me.
“Are you serious?” she questions.
“I can pay you with the thing you actually want. I can tell you how this ends.” I watch her face carefully. Damn, she’s so beautiful. “But I also need to make sure you are safe. You’re under my protection. That’s not negotiable.”
“Ok, I will help you if you help me, but I need to tell you something now that you aren’t going to like…”