Epilogue #2
“After my dad was released from the hospital, and was fully recovered from his injuries, he found out where Charlie was, and we went to see him. He was funny and nice, and he showed us his room. After that, we started exchanging letters. Well, I sent letters that the nurses would read to him and he’d send me pictures.
I have a whole stack of ones just like that except he usually draws pictures of himself and the things he likes to do.
I left a bin of them with the guard before I came in here. You can keep them all if you want.”
His breathing wasn’t right anymore. His vision was blurring, and his heart was racing to the point he thought he might have a heart attack. “You’ve been in touch with Charlie all this time?”
“Are you mad?” She asked, her tone suddenly fearful with a hint of apology.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be mad.
I just felt so bad for him. He was all alone.
And after they sentenced you to all these years in prison…
I just didn’t want him to be all alone in the world.
I remember feeling that way, but I had Aunt April. He didn’t have anyone.”
Fighting back the hot tears that threatened to spill over his eyelids, he cleared his throat.
“I’m not mad. I wish I’d known, but I’m not mad.
Violet, I-” He had no idea what to say. To thank her seemed silly and weird.
She hadn’t done it for him. She’d done it for Charlie.
His son. “I don’t know what to say.” He finally admitted, feeling completely overwhelmed and like the biggest idiot in the world.
“He inspired me to take art classes at a local community college while I was in high school,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to write and illustrate children’s books, and I’m almost done with one that I think I might try to submit to an agent.”
He hadn’t forgotten the books she used to write and draw in her room with April. He’d never looked at them, but he’d seen some of them in passing when she was working on them, and she was damn good, even back then. “That’s incredible,” he said.
There was so much he wanted to ask her. To tell her.
Then she grew serious. And he tensed. Not sure what to expect.
She’d already surprised him just by being here, and then again when she’d told him about Charlie.
All these years, he’d thought his son was alone in the world, and here she was telling him that the one prayer he’d ever prayed, had actually been heard and answered. His son had a friend in his corner.
“But after I graduate,” she said, “I’ve decided that I’m not going to art school.”
He lifted his gaze to meet hers, not sure why she was telling him this.
“I’m going to follow in my dad’s footsteps and pursue a career in law enforcement. Specifically, I want to be a prison guard.”
“What? Why?” He couldn’t have helped the explosion of questions if his life had depended on it. There he was counting down the seconds to when she’d leave so he could draw in a full breath without worrying about someone looking at her the wrong way, and she wanted to work in a place like this?
“Because I want to help people,” she said matter-of-factly.
“There are a lot of other ways to help people,” he said, feeling completely unprepared and inadequate to be having this conversation with her. Shouldn’t this be something she talked about with her dad?
“People like you who have no one,” she explained without missing a beat.
“And before you say anything else, I know there are some prisoners who are mean and dangerous. But there are also people like you here who are more gray than black and white. I might seem like this perfect and innocent young woman to you, but I’ve lived my life in a very gray area, Echo.
I know what it’s like to have something inside you that you hate, something that brings out the worst in you.
I know what it’s like to make choices you’re not proud of, and to know that you’ve done things you’d rather forget.
I know what it’s like to live and drown in that gray area that all but consumes your every thought.
To wake up in a cold sweat because it haunts you day and night. ”
His eyes grew wide at her words. It was like she was reading his mind. But the Violet he knew was good down to her core. What did she know about this gray area she was talking about?
As if to answer his unspoken question, she continued. “I still think about them. Those soldiers. The knives.” Her voice grew softer as she spoke, but he heard every word. “Their screams still wake me up some nights.”
“Violet, that wasn’t your fault,” he insisted, knowing exactly which incident she was referring to.
It was his fault. He should’ve intervened sooner.
He’d watched her grow tired, but he’d held out not wanting to get his own ass in trouble.
Except he was a grown man and she’d been a little girl with a lot of power.
She gave a quick shake of her head like she couldn’t bear to remember it one more time. “I know what it’s like to live in that gray area, Echo,” she repeated. “And I know what a difference it makes when you have someone in your corner to help you through it.”
Lucky her. He never had anyone like that. But that still didn’t mean she should work in a place like this. Not with the kind of people he was surrounded by.
“That’s how I know I can help,” she said. “Which reminds me, I wanted to give you something.”
Something else? She’d already given him more than he’d ever dreamt he’d get.
A box of drawings from his son. Seeing her as a grown woman.
Though he’d imagined her happy and vibrant, the longer she sat across from him the more he noticed how the light she’d had in her eyes as a child had faded, and her smile was dimmer and not as big.
She wasn’t lying or exaggerating when she told him that she understood the gray area.
He just didn’t like the idea of her being surrounded by more of it.
Not that he had any right to tell her that.
She pulled a business card out of her bag and slid it over for him to see. “Who’s Brennan Knight?” He asked.
“She’s a really good lawyer and she might be able to help you.”
He’d talked to plenty of lawyers when he was first arrested and none of them gave a shit about him. He was lucky to have gotten the deal that he did. “My parole isn’t for another two years. And that’s if I even get paroled.”
Violet sighed. “Just call her, okay? She’s expecting to hear from you.”
“How do you know her?” He couldn’t help wondering if Violet had been in trouble with the law recently. It wouldn’t surprise him after the start she had in life.
“She’s a good friend. Basically, an aunt. She’s cool and she’s helped people in prison before.”
“Why would you want to help me, Violet? Why would you come see me, bring me drawings from my son? Do all this for me? Why?” That was the one thing he couldn’t figure out and the only question he wanted answered.
Because it just didn’t make sense. She should’ve been glad to be rid of him.
To have him out of her life. Instead, she’d sought out his son, and came to see him a week after her eighteenth birthday. It just didn’t add up.
“Because you saved me,” she said. “If you hadn’t done what you did, I’d be dead.
And the longer I live with that knowledge, the harder it becomes to live with it.
I was a happy kid for most of my childhood.
My dad and Aunt April were amazing. Having my little cousin and a younger sister to share life with on the ranch was also great.
But as I got older, I realized something that maybe I shouldn’t have.
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t. But I did. And I can’t un-know it.
I wasn’t supposed to be here, Echo. I should’ve died that day, and it’s only because of you that I didn’t. ”
“I’m the one who should’ve died that day,” he said. He’d been ready to. But fate had other plans it seemed.
Oddly enough his words drew a smile on her lips. “See, I told you. We’re not that different, you and I.”
***
I hope you loved April and Tanner’s story as much as I do.
Keep reading for a sneak peek into Martin and Adeline’s book…