Chapter Five
When I wake, it’s only two in the morning, but I know my insomnia has already settled in.
For a while, I lie there as if I can convince my mind that sleep really is needed.
But I’m wide awake, so I get up and head into the computer room.
I play on Lane’s laptop for a bit, but he doesn’t have any games on it, and I am not too much into social media.
All the while, the safe in the closet taunts me again.
After about an hour of refusing to give in, I decide that I should do a sweep of the room and make sure everything is in perfect order.
Okay, maybe I just tore the room apart to find the key, but I had to know.
After finding the key tucked away in a box of junk, I turn on the closet light and crawl inside.
It’s like opening Pandora’s Box, and as I think that, I try to remind myself that I have tried really hard to not give into this nosy-ass desire I have always carried around with me.
But it is like a sickness, so technically it isn’t my fault.
Honestly, it is in my nature. I have opened the lock, which is half of the fun, and now I should close it and turn away.
The door slowly swings open.
On top are two guns and I know that the angel on my shoulder just lost as the devil on the other rubs his hands together in anticipation.
I hesitate, then pick one up as I admire it.
I’m surprised by how heavy it is, but I guess I had no reason to think it would be light.
I have never shot a gun, even though I’ve been around them more than I would like.
I set them beside me before picking up a leather case.
Flipping it open, I lean over it to see what it has in store for me.
It’s a police badge.
So, Lane was a police officer? I could see that. He is athletic and seems to carry around an idea of justice.
I grab another, but this one is from the military.
So…he must have been in the military when he was young.
But when I pick up the next thing, I’m starting to wonder what exactly Lane did since it is a badge for a man named Mark Hopkins .
Under that is a driver’s license belonging to a Tom Reinz and another is for a Pete Walker .
Well, Lane isn’t who he is claiming to be.
Maybe he had been working with the police and had to work undercover.
Or maybe he is the bad guy, all these are forged, and I am the fool.
But I don’t feel any threat from him, so I’m not sure it bothers me either way.
If he was the bad guy it might bother me, depending on what he had done, but I just don’t get those vibes from him.
I quietly put everything back and debate whether to ask him or not in the morning.
Probably shouldn’t since I did break into his safe. Maybe I’d just ask him what job he had before the accident and see if I can get him to talk.
It’s now three-thirty, and I’m no closer to falling asleep, so I close everything up and leave the room. I walk past my bedroom and push open the door to Lane’s bedroom. Once I’m in the room, I shut the door quietly behind me, but when I look over at the bed I see that Lane is sitting up.
“Felix?” Lane asks.
“Yeah.”
“What are you waking me up for?” he grumbles before lying back down.
“It’s only three and I can’t sleep,” I say.
“I was sleeping very soundly, in case you were wondering.”
I crawl onto his bed and sit at the foot of it. He tries to pretend I’m nonexistent by closing his eyes and turning away from me.
“Lane,” I whine.
“What? Are you trying to be sexy? Because I don’t find much sexy at three in the morning,” he mumbles.
“I want you to suffer with me,” I admit.
“I don’t like suffering. I like to sleep.”
“You’re a grump,” I say as I pull the covers back and crawl under them.
“You want sex?”
“No.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I dunno,” I admit as I pull the blankets up to my chest. “To sleep.”
He grumbles something under his breath that I can’t hear. “You’re not just going to leave, are you?” He rolls over to face me and I smile, glad he’s finally taking this seriously.
“It’s not likely,” I admit.
“Why can’t you sleep?” he asks, clearly submitting to the idea of not going back to sleep any time soon.
“I don’t know…I have bouts of insomnia.”
“You stressed about something?” he asks.
“No.”
“What were you thinking about before you went to bed?”
“How hot Robert Downey Jr. is and how I wish you looked like him,” I say.
“I am so glad I stopped sleeping for you,” he says.
I laugh and roll onto my side so I’m facing him. With just the dim light of a nearby street lamp shining through the window, I can see him watching me. He may not see me, but he is focused on me as if he can.
“Do you ever wonder what your purpose in life is?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like…why were we born?” I ask.
“Because your mother screwed your father without a condom,” he says.
“Ew, gross. You know what I mean.”
“I had a purpose until the accident. It’s not my fault you’ve never had a purpose.”
He rolls onto his back and grows quiet like he’s thinking of something.
He’s staring up at the ceiling, but I wish he’d look over here again.
It feels so much more real when he is focused on me, but I don’t know why I even care, I certainly don’t want anything to come of this. “What was your purpose?” I ask.
“To help people.”
“Do what?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he says. “Do you feel like you need to find your purpose or something? Is that what’s bothering you?”
“I don’t know,” I admit as I pick at the edge of his pillow.
I’ve never tried too hard to find my purpose in life. Instead, I’ve just sat back and watched my life unfold, trying to care about where it was heading. Sometimes that’s so damn difficult to do that I can’t imagine trying harder than I already am. Life felt rough enough as it is.
We are both quiet for a while, and I question if he’s already gone back to sleep when he speaks. “Some people don’t figure out their purpose until much later. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Yeah…that’d be nice because sometimes I wonder why I’m even here,” I say. “Sorry to wake you up, I’m going to try to go back to bed.”
“There’s a reason you’re here, Felix. Even if you can’t see it yet. You can sleep in here,” he says as he rolls onto his stomach. I watch his bare back for a while, wondering what he didn’t wish to tell me.
***
I need to get milk, but Lane is sound asleep on the couch. I was going to wait, and then make him go with me, but it’s now seven o’clock and if I wait any later, it’ll be dark before I get back. So, I leave the house, wondering if he’s even going to notice I’m gone.
The store isn’t too far away, and it would probably take me longer to drive the car and find a place to park than if I just walked, so I head off on foot.
The wind is just cool enough that it rustles my hair and keeps me from sweating.
The houses begin to fade away as businesses fill in the spaces until the road is thick with them.
As soon as I turn onto Main Street, I get distracted by the bookstore and head inside.
On the bestseller’s shelf is a book from one of my favorite authors, so I grab it and flip through it to see if I would be willing to spend the twenty-eight bucks for the hardcover.
But then I notice another book that I may want more and now I can’t decide.
Before long I’m reading the first chapter of both to make sure I figure out which one would be the best. In the end, I grab the first one I’d picked up and pay for it before heading back down the street to get milk.
It’s already dark out, and I wonder if I should have left earlier.
My phone rings, so I dig it out of my pocket. “Hello?”
“What are you doing?” Lane asks, sounding slightly annoyed for some reason.
“Getting milk. I see your beauty sleep did nothing to help your personality.”
“I was worried. This is the third time I’ve called you.”
“Really? I’m surprised I didn’t notice.” It must have been because I had set my phone on the armrest of the chair I had been sitting on.
“Why are you getting milk at nine at night?”
“Is it really that late?” I ask, surprised.
“Yes. Where were you?”
“I stopped at the bookstore and was distracted.”
“Come on, get back home. Didn’t you say someone was freaking you out the other day?”
Hmm…that did happen. “Yeah, that was like a week ago, I kind of forgot about it. I think I made it up because I haven’t seen anyone since.”
“Come on, I’m hungry, forget the milk.”
“I’m almost there, and I already had supper, you just slept through it. There’s a plate in the fridge with plastic wrap on it. Heat it up for a couple of minutes.”
“You don’t need to be wandering around after dark. Come on home.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” I say before issuing my goodbye.
I check my phone and see that he had indeed called me three times.
Trying to figure out how absorbed I had been in reading, I slide the phone into my pocket.
But now that he’s mentioned the man that I thought had been following me, I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
I’d honestly forgotten about him since I hadn’t seen him in over a week.
I walk into the store and grab the milk before quickly paying for it. Once back outside, the city is already falling dark as I head down the quiet street. Even though it is Friday, this side of town went to sleep early since there aren’t any bars or much nightlife.
Sudden pain overwhelms me as something makes an impact with the back of my head.
The force sends me forward, but my feet don’t follow, and I begin to fall.
I drop the milk and book onto the ground as someone wraps their arms around me and begins to drag me.
As soon as I realize what’s happening, I get my legs under me and open my mouth to scream for help.
Before I can utter a sound, a hand clamps down over my mouth as two men drag me into the dark alleyway.