Chapter Twelve #5
“I stepped out of the closet and there she was. My mom. And she turned to me and the look wasn’t one of concern, it was of anger.
She started yelling at me as the cops wrestled her boyfriend.
She screamed and yelled at me, blaming me for calling them.
Like I could have fucking called them from where I was hiding from that asshole.
The cops then moved for her, and I ran. I slipped through the window and stepped outside and there it was, the cop car was just sitting there.
There was a cop hovering around it, but he wasn’t paying attention to it as I slid into that driver’s seat and drove away.
I think part of me wanted him to just shoot me down.
Just…kill me so all this shit would end.
Another part just wanted someone to fucking notice. ”
“I noticed you the moment I met you,” he says.
“No, you didn’t. You wanted me to go away,” I say.
“I hated my life. I hated my world. But I noticed you, Felix,” he says as his hands slide down my sides, over my hips. “I notice every inch of you. Every mark, every mole, I feel it. And I notice it.”
“Why?” I ask. “Why do you notice any of it?”
He leans forward and presses his lips against mine.
I close my eyes and lean into him. The hard press of his lips, the caress of his tongue.
I open my mouth, allowing his tongue to tangle with mine.
But then he pulls back and returns to my stomach like he just remembered his original objective.
His hand slides over my flesh, making my skin shiver under his gentle touch.
I have no control over the desire pent up inside of me.
His fingers slide down my thighs, and I ache to touch him.
Ache for him to never stop touching me.
“Lane…”
“What?” he asks as his hands move down to my knees, down to my ankles, down to my feet.
I shake my head because I can’t say it. I know he can’t see the gesture, but he doesn’t ask again.
His hands find their way up my thighs, and then between my legs, pushing them apart.
He moves his hand up, under my cock as he rubs the area between my testicles and cock.
I’m already erect and this just forces me to lose all composure.
His fingers trace over my testicles, circling around them, rubbing them, pulling gently.
“There’s lubricant in the bag from the dollar store,” I say.
“What?” he asks. “You’re like, let’s stop in here, grab essentials and that was lubricant?”
“That’s what I meant by essentials! Do you understand how sexy you are being all badass?” I ask. “You’re all ‘hand me that gun’ then just go badass with it.”
“That scenario never even happened.” He shakes his head. “Where’s it at?”
“I’ll get it.”
“No, let me,” he says. “Just tell me.”
“Bathroom counter,” I say.
He gets off the bed and now that he’s gone I long for his return.
For his touch. For his attention. But he’s back as soon as he left.
He takes his clothes off in a hurry before climbing back onto the bed.
I want to reach out, run my fingers over his muscled chest, his hard stomach, his scarred legs, but as soon as I reach for him he pushes my hands down.
“No.”
“I can’t touch you?”
“No,” he says. “Roll over.”
“Like…hands and knees?”
“No, on your stomach,” he says as he rolls me onto my stomach and straddles me as he reaches up to my head.
“You’re squishing my cock,” I moan as I shift to try to make it comfortable.
“You shouldn’t have an erection then,” he says. “I just wanted to see you.”
I snort but close my eyes as his fingers run down my neck to my back.
They brush down, following the line of my shoulder blade.
A single finger traces a line down my spine and between my butt cheeks.
His touch is soft. Gentle. Fingers moving and touching every part of me.
He kisses the small of my back as his finger travels down over my butt.
He rubs his finger around my hole and then presses against it.
He has all my nerves on fire. Every touch makes my skin heat up and quiver in anticipation.
His finger pushes in deeper, plunging and moving, making me moan. I want him deep inside of me, yet I don’t want this to ever end. These gentle touches, the kisses, the way he’s looking at me. The way only he knows how to look anymore.
He pushes another slick finger inside of me as he kisses my hip bone, his other hand running up my side, fingers rubbing and caressing.
His fingers thrust inside of me, stretching and rubbing before he pulls them out.
He rolls me onto my back before pushing a pillow under my hips.
I don’t reach out to him, instead, I lie before him and let him work his fingers over me like an artist works clay.
I was there for him to do anything he wished to.
His finger brushes the underside of my cock as his other hand moves back to my butt, where he rubs the rim before pushing his fingers inside.
I moan as I watch him feel every inch of me.
He never stops moving his fingers inside of me as his other hand rubs lubricant over his thick cock. I greedily watch his every move.
He pulls his fingers free, and I feel his cock brush my thigh before settling between my legs.
He presses against me, the ring of muscle resisting for a moment before giving in.
His thickness fills me, and I finally grab onto him, pulling him closer to me.
Lane moves so slowly, it is driving me mad.
It makes me ache for him and crave for him to move quicker, to grab me tighter.
But it just makes the moment when he pulls back and thrusts in that much more of a rush. I moan as I dig my nails into his back before realizing what I am doing.
“Harder,” I say as I crash my lips against his.
“Shh,” he says as he slows as if going against my plea. I nearly whine as his movement is almost to a standstill. He needs to move. There’s no way my body can take him moving so slowly inside of me.
“Lane! Harder.”
He’s grinning as I stare at him desperately.
“Shush,” he says, quieting me with a hard kiss of his lips.
He pulls back until he’s out of me before thrusting hard into me.
The quick movement makes me arch up into him as I moan.
The change in pace makes it that much sweeter as I desperately grab onto him.
I have never felt like this before. Never had this heat and desire rushing through my body.
The rawness of it almost scares me, but it excites me at the same time.
He moves quickly inside of me as my body aches for release.
The rhythm pulls me in deeper as his hand slides up my thigh and finds my testicles.
He rubs his fingers over the sensitive skin before sliding up my cock, his thumb rubbing the head as I kiss him.
He’s driving me crazy. His hands, his cock.
They’re making me go insane, making me feel like it is too much, making me feel like I can never get enough.
His hand rubs my cock and I moan as I let my body give in to him. Ecstasy consumes me as his hand moves over me, making me come. He moans against my neck as he kisses it, moving with quick, shallow thrusts as he reaches his limit.
For a moment we just lie there, settling into the pleasure. I slide my hand up his chest, just touching him and feeling him. He pulls out of me and lies down beside me.
“I’m scared,” I say.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he murmurs into my hair as I press my body up flush against his naked skin.
“I’m not scared of being hurt…I’m scared of being alone,” I admit. I feel like I shouldn’t tell him. I feel like I’m giving him a part of myself that I can never get back. And if he doesn’t accept it, I don’t know how I will ever recover. “I’m scared you will leave me.”
He’s silent for a long moment and my stomach tightens. He’s going to tell me I have to go. That I am unsafe with him and the best place for me would be far away. But I know that I could handle it. I always do.
“The moment I realized that I would never see anything again, I felt my world compress. I felt it tighten and tighten like a noose around my neck. I have never noticed how close the walls around me were until I could no longer see them. They were so close that I couldn’t even reach out anymore.
But…I realized that was wrong. I realized…
that I can still see…when someone helps paint the world for me.
You have given me sight again, Felix, I am not going to push you away.
I am scared something will happen to you but… I won’t push you away,” he says.
“I can handle that,” I say.
Why is it that the first person to ever notice me is a man that can no longer see me?