Chapter 3
Detective Inspector Daniel Lindskog is wandering around the apartment, picking up Alice’s brightly colored toys. Yesterday he collected his daughter from Ida after work, and she will be spending the weekend with him. Then Ida will have her for two days before it is his turn again.
It’s called the two-two-three system.
Two days with Mom, two days with Dad, then Friday, Saturday, Sunday with Mom. Then they swap. Next weekend it will be Ida’s turn to have Alice, as Daniel has her this time.
It was Ida who suggested the arrangement, because Alice is so little, about two and a half. It felt too difficult to change over every other week, she argued. She couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing her daughter for such a long time.
Daniel didn’t have the strength to protest, even though deep down he finds it awkward.
Alice gets used to being with him, and then she has to go back to Ida.
In addition, Ida often wants to make a change at the last minute or keep Alice for an extra day.
Everyday life is less stable, and things are trickier for Daniel to plan at work.
The agreement with his boss, Chief Inspector Birgitta Grip, who is head of the Serious Crimes Unit in ?stersund, is that he must work from there at least a couple of days a week, even though he lives in ?re.
He creeps into Alice’s room and places the last of the toys in the blue plastic crate by the wall. She is fast asleep, lying on her back, cuddling her favorite soft toy. It is a pale-brown reindeer with kind eyes and soft horns, and its name is, not surprisingly, Reindeer.
He stands by her bed for a moment, inhaling the scent of baby shampoo, a faint hint of freshly picked green apples that makes him think of sunny days and outings to swim in Lake Ottsjon, with its wonderful sandy shore.
Alice’s cheeks are rosy, her little hands outstretched, those tiny, perfect fingers. He would really like to pick her up and carry her to his bed just to be close to her, but he doesn’t want to disturb her when she is so peaceful.
His daughter is almost the same age as he was when his own father abandoned him and his mother, Francesca. When Alice was born he promised himself that she would have a completely different childhood, secure and full of love, with a daddy who was present and who would always be there for her.
Daniel has dreamed of a family of his own throughout his whole life, and yet he couldn’t make things work with Ida, despite his good intentions.
Alice was just twenty months old when his partner left him.
I don’t know if I’m still in love with you.
He remembers the exact words as Ida delivered the fatal blow to their relationship, her voice thick with tears.
It was Easter Monday last year. They were sitting at the kitchen table, and he had just finished an unusually taxing investigation that had begun with a fatal stabbing at Copperhill Mountain Lodge, the famous designer hotel in Forberget, to the east of ?re.
Her timing couldn’t have been worse. Daniel was completely exhausted, and had found it difficult to make sense of what she was saying. He had simply stared at Ida’s tear-filled eyes, couldn’t work out what she meant, even though her words left no room for doubt.
The very next day she went to stay with her mother in J?rpen, and never came back. After only a few months she had moved in with Gustav, her new boyfriend, who is a skiing guide and an old friend from the days when she worked for SkiStar.
Even though almost ten months have passed since then, Daniel is still having problems coming to terms with Ida’s decision. From a purely intellectual point of view, he knows they’re over, yet he still lies awake at night, brooding over the situation.
Why she chose to leave him.
Why it hadn’t worked between them, when this was what he had longed for through so many years.
He was prepared to do anything to avoid a separation. He had been seeing a counselor for over a year in order to become a better father and partner, so he had suggested couples therapy.
It took a while for him to realize that Ida simply . . . didn’t want to.
She didn’t want to be with him anymore.
Sometimes that feels like the greatest betrayal—the fact that Ida wasn’t prepared to fight for their family, that she was ready to throw away everything they had built up together.
That it meant nothing to her.
Alice’s coverlet has slipped down. Daniel gently pulls up the duvet adorned with teddy bears, watching her little chest rise and fall with her steady breathing.
He is still living in the same apartment within walking distance of the police station, having bought out Ida at a generous price to avoid any argument. It was a solution that suited both of them, because she made it very clear that she wanted to make a fresh start and find somewhere else to live.
With Gustav.
Daniel sighs wearily and leaves Alice’s room. Life was turned upside down less than a year ago, and he still can’t really explain what happened.