Chapter 12
There is an amazing aroma coming from the pan of pasta sauce on the table in front of Filippa.
Emil has cooked; he enjoys experimenting in the kitchen, and has worked in a restaurant for several years. He is the group’s self-appointed chef, and has made pasta pomodoro with freshly baked bread, a round, golden-brown focaccia.
“Fucking delicious,” Pontus grunts in Filippa’s ear.
He is already well on the way to getting drunk. She doesn’t want that idiot anywhere near her. She steals a glance at Amir, who is standing at the end of the table. This evening he is wearing a lovely moss-green shirt with the sleeves rolled up; it suits his complexion perfectly.
Filippa wishes he would come and sit beside her so that she doesn’t have to sit with Pontus. At that moment Amir turns his head in her direction. He smiles, and her wish comes true—he takes a few steps and pulls out the chair next to her.
Her whole body tingles. She wants to say something witty and clever, make him think she’s funny and exciting, but instead she is lost for words. Then she blushes, making things so much worse. She reaches for her glass and takes a big gulp of wine to hide her confusion.
“Can we start?” Olivia asks, grabbing the spaghetti server.
“Help yourselves,” Emil says, bringing over a bowl of grated Parmesan.
William, who is crouching by the open fire, brushes off his hands.
His cheeks are still glowing from the sauna.
Filippa can’t understand how Olivia had the nerve to show herself completely naked in front of everyone.
First of all outdoors, when they were messing around in the snow, then back in the sauna.
She didn’t seem bothered at all, and William couldn’t take his eyes off her.
It was as if he wanted to eat her up right there and then.
Pontus too—he was virtually drooling when Olivia sat down on the bench without her towel. He is so disgusting.
If only Amir would look at Filippa that way—but she was too shy to take off her swimsuit.
She wishes she could be as cool as Olivia.
Just roll in the snow, or start chatting to Amir.
Charm him, knowing that she is the most attractive girl in the room, and that he should be grateful she’s interested in him.
It’s not that she’s envious of her best friend. Quite the reverse, she loves Olivia; she would just like to be . . . the same. Everything is always so easy for her. Olivia is unafraid and beautiful and cool to be with, and clever enough never to have needed to study particularly hard.
While Filippa struggles with her work, and has to battle for every decent grade.
If she is going to complete the program, that’s what she has to do.
Anything else is unthinkable; she couldn’t possibly return home as a dropout.
It’s bad enough that she didn’t get into medical school as her parents had hoped; now she has to prove that she can at least gain a good degree.
Maybe even apply to the foreign office after she graduates?
She knows how proud that would make her mom and dad—but also how disappointed they would be if she failed, and she couldn’t bear that.
Filippa is their only child. Everything depends on her; it always has done.
It’s not her fault that Mom had several miscarriages after Filippa was born, but she still feels responsible for fulfilling their hopes and dreams.
“This is so good,” Amir says as he tucks in.
He doesn’t seem to have noticed that Filippa lost the ability to speak as soon as he joined her.
She reaches for her glass, takes a few more gulps.
The warmth spreads through her chest, making it easier to talk to Amir, so she drinks some more and asks him about skiing, whether he’s been to ?re before.
The full-bodied red wine comes courtesy of William’s parents, who have said they can help themselves from the large wine store.
As long as it doesn’t cost any more than four hundred kronor a bottle.
Filippa giggles at the thought. She has never tasted such an expensive wine before; she has no idea what the difference might be.
But it’s free, and free is good.
She empties her glass, refills it so that she can carry on chatting to Amir. She wants to find out as much as possible, what his taste in music might be, what games he likes, his favorite sport.
Suddenly a strange voice comes from the hallway.
“Hello? Anyone home?”
When Filippa looks up, she sees a man in his mid-forties standing just inside the front door. He has gray stubble, and is wearing heavy boots and a dark-green padded jacket. A few white snowflakes have stuck to his black woolen hat.
William waves to him. “Hi, Staffan.” He stands up and shakes the man’s hand. “Say hello to Staffan, everyone. He’s the one who made sure the heating was on and the drive had been cleared when we arrived.”
Filippa mumbles hi, as do the others.
William chats to Staffan for a few minutes, then sees him out before rejoining his friends.
“Staffan just wanted to check things out,” he explains. “See if we needed anything. Without him nothing would work in this place. He takes care of the house when we’re not here. All we have to do is call him if there’s a problem.”
“I wish we had someone like him at home.” Olivia laughs. “A fixer to take care of any problems. Can I have his phone number?”
An hour later everyone has finished eating and settled down on the sofas. Amir is shuffling a pack of cards. Filippa is sitting next to him, idly surfing on her phone. Olivia and William are in the kitchen, clearing up after dinner.
They had intended to head down into the village and to go to Bygget, the best nightclub in ?re. However, they are all tired after the journey. They have decided to leave it until tomorrow—they’ve got the whole week, after all.
Dinner was a hit. Filippa has never talked to Amir so much. She is excited and full of good food. Emil made a lush chocolate mousse for dessert—Filippa had two helpings.
“Shall we make things a little more fun?” Amir whispers in her ear. He takes a clear plastic bag containing white powder out of his pocket. The same kind William was waving around on the train. Filippa immediately realizes what it is.
“Want some?” Amir adds with a wink.
She responds with an uncertain smile; she has seen what drugs have done to other friends who have lost it completely.
The white powder sparkles, almost like snow crystals.
The gateway to another world.
“Come on,” Amir says, his eyes sparkling like the coke. “It’ll be cool.”
Filippa loves the way he is looking at her tonight, as if she belongs, as if she really is part of the gang.
Someone he could fall in love with.
He takes out a key ring with a tiny scoop on it. He dips it into the bag, then inhales the powder. Dips in again, holds out the scoop to Filippa.
“You’re going to love it,” he assures her with an encouraging wink.
Filippa hesitates; then she leans forward and breathes in. At first she feels as if she’s going to sneeze, but soon everything is just . . . wonderful.
Colors are brighter. Amir is so good looking. Life is . . . shimmering.
She has never felt so amazing.
Amir puts away the scoop and the powder, then calls out to William and Olivia.
“How much longer are you going to be? It’s time to play!”
“We’re nearly done!” Olivia replies. Five minutes later she flops down on the sofa next to Filippa, followed by William.
“So what are we going to do?” Olivia asks.
Amir smiles, with a cunning glint in his eyes.
“How about a game of Truth or Consequences?”
“Okay,” Olivia says immediately. Her gaze is less than focused; she is slightly drunk. “I’m in.”
Filippa stares at Amir in fascination. Truth or Consequences?
If she is asked a question, she has to tell the truth, however difficult it is, or take the consequences and receive a punishment.
Maybe knock back the contents of her glass, or do something dumb like kiss Olivia on the lips.
But it can go further, like stripping to the waist or even running around the house stark naked.
Sometimes it turns nasty; you might have to say which of the people in the room you dislike most, or which one you wouldn’t want to invite to a party.
Filippa usually avoids games like this, but tonight she is giggly and intoxicated by the wine, the coke, and Amir’s attention.
At dinner she made him laugh more than once.
Surely over the next seven days, she will manage to capture his interest for real.
She reaches for her glass and empties it, relishes the taste of the strong red wine and the courage spreading through her body.
“Me too!” she says with a flirtatious smile. “Let’s go!”