31. Chapter Thirty-One
~Evalina~
Still in his wolf form, Felix couldn’t answer me, and I took advantage of that fact, refusing to turn away and let him shift until I got out everything bubbling up inside me.
At first, I didn’t understand what the elf meant when he said he saw a ‘tie’ between me and Felix. Elves were known for being hard-to-read and speaking in riddles, so when he spoke of a tie with Felix still in his animal form, I thought perhaps the word had a double meaning that I didn’t know. But as he explained it further, calling it a ‘binding’ when Felix had previously spoken of a ‘bond’, things started to make more sense.
Elves could see things the rest of us couldn’t, and since the one we spoke to could also teleport himself, he likely had all kinds of additional powers. Since they lived such long lives, elves often learned additional magic the older they got. I had no reason to disbelieve anything he said. Suddenly, everything Felix had said to me about his mate clicked into place and I wanted to kick myself for being so dense. I sat there, not five minutes earlier, feeling jealous of the ‘clueless’ woman who got to be his mate, not realizing that the idiot in question was actually me. He could have told me. Why didn’t he tell me? Why bother with all this talk of me being ‘precious’ to him and pretending to help me out of the goodness of his heart?
Why not just be honest?
Was he actually just like Tarron after all?
Those were the thoughts spinning around my head as I paced back and forth, my eyes locked on Felix’s wolf and my whole body tense.
“You’ve had multiple opportunities to tell me the truth about why you came to Etta and why you were so interested in helping me. Was this your plan all along? To lure me here and keep me as… as some kind of amorta? You want me to trade a life bound to Tarron for a life bound to you, just because some goddess told you so? Were you going to give me any choice in the matter?”
Everything that had happened since I first laid eyes on him took on a new meaning as I reviewed it through the lens of my new knowledge, and any excitement I’d felt at the prospect of finding a new life in this world felt tainted. “Tarron may be selfish and spoiled, but at least he never lied to me about what he wanted from me. He never tried to convince me he’s something he’s not. He never…”
I had no intention of stopping my rant, but to my surprise, Felix suddenly transformed back into his human form, despite it leaving him completely naked right in front of me. He stayed crouched down, his body bent to conceal his most private parts, but I could still clearly see his strong, broad, bare chest giving way to his defined, muscular abs and the thick, bent legs supporting him. When it came to appearance, at least, he and Tarron had nothing in common.
“What do you mean a life bound to Tarron?” He spoke the words quietly but in a tone deeper and firmer than I’d ever heard him use before. “What has he said to you? Has he claimed you’re his mate too?”
Tarron could wait. I wanted to address Felix’s deception. “What do you mean ‘too’? You never told me!”
A grimace stretched across his handsome face. “I wasn’t trying to deceive you, Evalina. I didn’t want to put any pressure on you. The whole concept of mates is new to you, and I didn’t think you’d be thrilled to have some random man you’d never seen before announce that you’re meant to be his. I wanted you to get to know me first. Think about it, please, really think about it: if I had told you right at the start, what would you have done?”
Reluctantly, I pushed my indignation to one side and cast my mind back to seeing Felix for the first time in the pens. He asked for my help to escape and I gave it because I believed he would help me too, that we were making a deal.
What if he had said ‘help me escape because you’re linked to me through an invisible bond’?
If I were being honest, I had to admit I probably would have assumed he was crazy. “Right at the start might have been a little off-putting,” I conceded. “But what about last night when you were telling me about mates? When I asked you if you had one? Why not tell me then?”
“You were in a different world surrounded by strangers, just escaped from prison yourself and worried about your mother’s health. I didn’t want to add to the stress and turmoil you must have been feeling.”
His calm, reasoned logic made some sense, I supposed. “And today? Just now, when you kissed me?”
He shot me a sheepish grin, made all the more adorable by the naked, vulnerable state of him. “I kind of hoped you would put the clues together and figure it out on your own. My wolf says I’m an idiot for not realizing that someone as humble as you wouldn’t make that assumption.”
I tried to reach for the anger and frustration that I’d pushed aside earlier, but I could no longer find it. Felix might have deceived me, but in his explanation and his earnestness, it seemed clear there had been no malicious intent behind it.
Felix didn’t demand or manipulate.
He offered. He waited.
Comparing him to Tarron was unfair.
“You could have told me,” I said softly, letting the corners of my mouth lift slightly to show him that he had made his point. “I wouldn’t have thought you were trying to manipulate me.”
“I’m really not. The truth is: you are my mate, Evalina, but only if you want to be. I would never force you to accept something that didn’t make you happy, and I know that even if you do accept me, there are decisions we’ll need to make together about our future. But the one thing I want you to be perfectly clear about, no matter what happens next, is that I am so happy and grateful to find you and to have you as my mate. We might not know each other well yet but I’m already falling for you. You’re amazing.”
With those words, the happiness and excitement that had briefly been extinguished roared back to life, stronger and deeper than before. I thought back to every moment we’d spent together: the way he rescued and protected me in Etta, the tenderness in his eyes when he looked at me, and the fire in his kiss. From my first glimpse of him, I felt a connection to him. I felt safe with him. Could something that felt as natural as breathing really be a trick or a trap?
No, I didn’t think so. He was telling the truth; this incredibly strong, handsome, kind, generous man had been chosen for me, and he was happy about it.
Put that way, what in the world did I have to complain about?