52. Chapter Fifty-Two
52
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
ELODIE
A rden’s eyes snapped to mine as he spoke the words. My magik halted its flow, and I gasped, breathless from the thundering force of its return. But I welcomed it greedily, basking in the rightness of it being back where it should be. My heart beat wildly as I sank back, head spinning from the sudden return of energy.
“A seer!” Alouette’s eyes rounded with surprise as she leaned forward.
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s not like I can predict the future or anything!”
Was I confirming this?
“So, what can you do?” she asked excitedly, settling back and casually propping her boots on the circular table as another log popped on the fire.
“I just… see things.”
“You just, see things ,” Alouette mimicked, rolling her eyes at me.
“That’s what I said, wasn’t it?" I snapped at her, running my palms over my arms, my skin uncomfortable from the steady loss and sudden return of magik.
“Well, what things?” she pressed, ignoring my annoyance as I turned to Arden. His green eyes studied my face, a tiredness in him that hadn’t been there when we arrived.
“Did it work?” I asked tentatively, not wanting to have to repeat the experience.
“It did,” Arden replied, reaching for his pipe, clamping it between his lips before taking a long, steady pull. He breathed out the thick, cloudy vapour, and it twisted between us in a complicated pattern before it dispersed.
“And?” I needed him to say it, to confirm the thought that had been nudging against my conscience since the moment Kaius had spoken the words in the garden.
“And, your magik comes from Oraculum. Prophecy, the arcane arts, the divine rules.”
My heart squeezed, magik pulsing in acknowledgement as I absorbed his words. As they sunk within me and disturbed the deep well of denial that formed so much of my life.
Prophecy.
It shouldn’t have surprised me, long ago I must have joined the dots together. I just chose to ignore the full picture, even when it screamed at me from behind the fog I willingly wrapped it in. It felt right hearing those words from someone else, like something had clicked into place—when really nothing had changed at all.
Now I faced the reality that I was trapped in a kingdom I didn’t belong—with people who may not even want me for much longer.
“Did you see?” I asked, thinking of the memories I had dredged up from Alouette’s questioning. Ones that still lingered close to the surface.
“Some,” Arden said softly, as he took another drag of his pipe, holding the smoke before he exhaled.
“I didn’t believe it.”
“You chose not to believe it.”
“Yes.” He was right; it was easier to take what Briar said as crazy ramblings than accept the truth. To let Nanna guide me away from things I was most drawn to until I was so far from them, I could ignore the pull they held.
“Those around you, they knew.” It wasn’t a question. “You’ve spent your life rejecting that part of your magik, yet it still pushed through.”
I hung my head, the heat stifling as his words rooted beneath my skin. A ruffle of feathers filtered from the roof far above our heads, and as I looked up, a single black feather drifted down into the fire where it was quickly consumed by the lashing orange tongues that licked at the brickwork. The room cooled a fraction, and I pulled my eyes from the flames, their image dancing across my sight for a moment longer.
“What about now you’re here? Has that changed?”
I opened my mouth, a lie ready and waiting to be spoken. To deny any ability I had, like I’d been doing my whole life. But where would that leave me—just as confused as I was when I walked in here. If I wanted the answers I deserved, then that meant telling all. Risking that part of me to these people.
“Yes.” I twisted the golden ring on my finger.
“I can only help you if you open up, my dear. I want to find you your truth.”
The mix of smoke from the flames and Arden’s pipe filled my lungs as I breathed deep. “I see things.”
Well, that’s a stupid start.
Alouette scoffed as she grabbed some berries that I was sure had all been eaten earlier.
“Like the future?” Her eyebrow lifted tauntingly.
“No. Not the future,” I snapped at her, as she popped the red fruit into her mouth, eyes glittering in my direction.
“Then what?” Arden questioned and frowned slightly, because he had a point.
What was it I even saw? There was no rhyme or reason. I had no choice in what I saw or how I saw it.
“Mostly dreams,” I began, starting with what was most familiar. “It was always just flashes of images, nothing I could hold onto. I even kept a journal to try and make sense of anything, but it’s hard to write about something you can’t really remember. But then it changed.”
“Changed how?”
“They became real, like I was actually somewhere else. Just before I was brought here. I could feel everything, see it all play out around me, the flames—” The fiery meadow invaded my mind until I was sure they would see fire lighting behind my eyes.
“Flames?”
“Yeah. They… burned. I could feel it on my skin when I woke up, the heat. I couldn’t break free, I just burned and burned until… until Kaius found me.” I swallowed past the tightness in my throat, rubbing my hands over the phantom heat that spread across my arms.
“He pulled you out?” Alouette asked, her soft voice no longer taunting.
“I was stuck, I couldn’t move, could only watch as they... but then Kaius came, and I was free.” My fingers run along the pendant that was tucked beneath my dress. “I haven’t had that dream for a while now, though.”
And I’d been sleeping very much alone.
Another sweep of smoke billowed between us. I inhaled its sweetness, grateful for the way it soothed me as I fought with the memories of watching my family burn alive.
“Is that the only thing that’s changed?” Arden asked gently over the sound of Alouette’s chewing.
“No,” I replied instantly, more than willing to move onto another subject. “Honestly, it’s hard to explain, but I’ve been sort of... projecting my mind. It’s not something I’m making a conscious decision to do—it just happens. I can see things happening somewhere else, but in the same moment. Like looking through a window at another place.”
“Is that what happened this morning? Before we left the room?” Alouette asked, her toes bouncing slightly as I nodded.
“Well, what did you see?” She pressed.
“Nothing much,” I said, scrambling for an answer I was prepared to share. “Just Bastian and Kaius talking. Something about an old lady fighting with squirrels?”
Arden’s laughter rang loudly through the room, and we both looked at him in surprise as amusement forced lines deeper into his skin.
“Ah yes, Gisella was a character.” A fond smile lit his face. “So, what you’re seeing, Elodie, is in the same moment you are. Not a different point in time.”
“I mean, I have no way to know for sure, but yeah, that’s what it feels like. Like I’ve been dropped somewhere else that’s happening at the same time as whatever it is I was doing.”
“She didn’t go anywhere earlier, she just froze. Wherever her mind went, her body was still very much next to me. Creeping me out ,” Alouette added, and it was my turn to roll my eyes at her.
“Was that the first time?”
“No, it’s happened a few other times. All to different places.”
“Well, it would seem I must ensure to never speak behind your back, Elodie, for who knows when you may be listening.” He smiled at me, and I couldn’t help returning it. They were both sitting there completely at ease as I told them about the crazy things that had been happening to me; they accepted it with no question.
There was no sly side eye to make me feel crazy, or any leading questions trying to trip me up. They just listened—listened and believed.
“Coming back to this realm has indeed boosted your magik, and I’m sure it will continue to do so as time goes on and you find your powers growing. I hesitate to ask, but other than the mind jumping , shall we call it, is there anything else?”
I thought for a moment, sifting through the whirlwind of events that had occurred since Kaius and Bastian had appeared in my room. As I was about to shake my head at his question, a memory that seemed like a million years ago filtered through.
“The library! I could see what the books were about once I touched their cover. Well, with most of them.” I watched the small frown cross Arden’s face and decided to backtrack.
“But it was a magik library, so maybe anyone can do that?” Considering all that came after I found that new talent, it was no surprise it had slipped my mind, thoughts of my skin being torn apart and Kaius’ tongue in my mouth taking precedence.
“You went to the Royal Chamber of Knowledge?”
“Yes,” I said, eyes flicking to Alouette who was now eating pastries that I could have sworn were already gone.
“Goddess above.” He sank back in his chair, eyes closing as he drew a pull of smoke from his pipe.
“Bastian sent her?” He breathed out the smoke as Alouette replied with a ‘yep’.
“That boy,” he murmured, rubbing at the bridge of his nose before looking at me. “Considering you are sitting here in front of me, I can only assume the Keeper deemed you worthy, though what he was thinking in taking that risk, I don’t know.”
“Ask her, she took me there.” I pointed towards Alouette who grinned at me around a mouth of food.
“Don’t get pissy with me, Killer, I knew you had what it takes. I wouldn’t have taken you there otherwise. It was Bastian who thought it would be a fun little experiment.”
I narrowed my eyes at her as she chewed, annoyed that the fact Bastian thought I was expendable had been rubbed in my face.
Alouette had some faith in me, at least.
“Who’s the Keeper ?”
“ That is a question for another time. Right now, let’s test your new skill, shall we?” He smiled as he rose, crossing to one of the hollowed-out alcoves stuffed full of books. Arden pulled some loose, dislodging them carefully to avoid the rest tumbling to the floor before he returned and took his seat.
“Close your eyes and take a book, we’ll see if it works once you’re out of the magik library .” He held a plain, burnt-orange book between us, the cover blank of any image or title, nothing that could allude to its contents.
“You’re telling me that wasn’ t a magik library?” I grumbled, raising my eyebrow at him.
“Close your eyes.” A soft laugh under the words, so I did, holding my hand out for the book to be placed onto it.
“No cheating,” Alouette teased.
The weight of the book settled into my palm, and I wondered whether there was something I should be doing. Some way to call to whatever it was that had worked before. But before that thought had fully formed, images pushed into my mind. I pressed my lips together on a smile as scene after scene flooded my mind. They weren’t the flash of images that would assault me in my dreams; this was like a movie. Like the very words had come alive and were painting a picture. My mind the canvas as they brushed across my conscience with a vibrancy that made my heart race.
Flocks of birds swirled through the sky which had now replaced Arden’s room, their glossy feathers a shining sapphire blue, wings paling gradually to a bright white. They flew together twisting through the sky completely in synchronicity, soft trills floating through the air as I followed their path. I fell under their hypnotic rhythm, unwilling to look away until the vision cut out, and I was back facing Arden, the book back in his hands.
“Well?” he pressed as I readjusted to a sight without hundreds of birds.
“Birds,” I said, as Alouette scoffed beside me. “They were blue with white-tipped feathers, all flying together.”
Arden’s eyes lit up as I spoke, and he held another book towards me. Closing my eyes, I held out my hand without instruction. The next book was lighter, the wait to see whether this one would work the same stretching on before something flickered to life behind my dark lids.
The scene was dark, the only light coming from the stars and a large fire lit within a clearing. The thick shadow of trees in the distance only visible due to the density of their darkness. The fire rose high as I watched the first woman emerge from the gloom, a sheer dress covering her body but doing little to hide her nakedness. Drums began to sound around me, their ominous beat filling the air as she started to dance, bare feet pounding against the dirt, body swaying in a sensuous rhythm. Her thin dress swirled with her movements, naked skin exposed with every move she made. One –by –one, six more women emerged from the gloom, thin gauzy dresses shifting as they moved. The light of the fire bathed them in harsh shadows that highlighted every dip and curve of their bodies as they, too, began to dance to the beat of the drums.
They were all different, yet there seemed to be something that pulled them together as one, something I couldn’t put my finger on.
The night lifted, and I was back in the soft armchair, in the warm chamber filled with all its curiosities.
“A bunch of naked women dancing around a fire,” I said before he could ask.
“Fascinating.” His voice was full of wonder as he traced the outline of the book. “And yes, this one was Prishini’s Memorium of the Devine Gathering . One of only two tales of the goddesses being together. Though Prishini was born millennia after the goddesses had removed themselves from this realm, but that’s beside the point. What a power you have discovered, my dear.”
I found myself smiling, because he was right; this was something that cost nothing. There could be no negative to knowing what was in a book without reading it, no way it would turn into something I had no control over, unlike other ways my magik had decided to manifest. Even in the library, I had been able to touch and remove myself from the books without difficulty.
“Everything you have said today, Elodie, only reinforces that you do come from Oraculum. How you ended up in the mortal realm is another issue that we will work on finding the answer to.” I nodded, uncertainty suddenly coiling within my stomach, my smile falling.
“While I am a highly proficient teacher, I cannot claim to be all knowing when it comes to the arcane arts.”
Well fuck. Looks like I’m leaving after all.
“So, I have to leave then, to learn more about my magik?” My pulse was a beast roaring in my ears as I waited for the words that would send me away—into the unknown yet again.
“Not necessarily.” I didn’t dare a sigh of relief. “While you’re here, you can be taught control over your magik in many ways, and in time, when you’re ready, you may decide that Oraculum is where you need to be. Though I do not possess the gift of foresight.” He winked at me as I stared at him. “I do not think you will be sent away. I have a feeling there is much more to you being here than just the Prince’s need for you.”
I really hope not. Things are already complicated enough without more being piled on top of my disastrous life.
Arden’s dark eyes were studying me, flicking over my face as he absently drummed his fingers on the books he still held.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
He waited, the heat stifling once again, as I sat under his scrutiny. Only the crackle of flames broke the quiet that descended between us.
“There is something else. Something that I found, alongside your affinity.”
“That doesn’t sound good.” I found myself now searching his face for clues of whatever else he found tucked within my magik. Alouette leant forward on her knees, interest sharp in her eyes.
“You have a block.” His words were heavy despite the fact they made no sense to me.
“What does that mean? A block on what?” I turned in confusion as Alouette let out a huff of air, the shock on her face enough to twist at my stomach. The frustration of not understanding yet another part of this world I was supposed to be part of, pulling at my insides.
Another reminder I was out of my depth.
“A block on you . It could be on your memories, your powers. Without lifting it, there’s no way to know just what it is blocking, but it’s there.”
“Who put it there?” Emotions raged inside me as I slid forward to the edge of my seat, more questions added to my ever-growing list. This one seemed high up in the order of priority.
“I don’t know,” he replied calmly. “I would imagine that it’s blocking the memory of it being placed on you, along with whatever it was used for to begin with.”
“You’re telling me I’ve been walking around with something in my brain that I had no idea about? How would I not have known?”
“Because that’s how it's designed.” His kind face made my frustration grow, each word he spoke a strike on the sanctity of my own mind.
“So, anyone can do this? Invade another person’s mind and make it so that they don’t even know about it?” My thoughts were spinning, attempting to comb through a lifetime of memories, seeking a point in time where something had changed.
“No, not just anyone can do this. The power and skill needed to block someone’s mind, while keeping their sanity intact, is incredibly high. Not to mention illegal.”
Had I changed? Was this not really who I was? Am I now only a part of me because someone took it upon themselves to mess with my mind? Who was I before?
Who am I now?
“I think… that the fact you were in the mortal realm meant that your ability to withstand such a thing would have been weakened. It has been outlawed for generations to stop lower-level members of Royal Lines messing with those set to inherit seats.”
I threw myself into my mind—searching, searching, searching. For what, I had no clue. The rational part of me knew if I’d never noticed it before, that it was unlikely I was going to find it now. The other half wanted to rip apart my own conscience and hunt for this thing that had gone so long unnoticed.
My fingers slid into my hair, gripping the roots as if somehow I could burrow them inside and claw away whatever was in there, magik surging through my skin at my agitation. I slipped further into my mind, retreating from the warmth of the room and Arden’s concerned gaze, desperate to find some truth to his words.
“Elodie, please.” His hand landed on my knee as he leaned across the table and my eyes whipped up to meet his. “I do not think this block, whatever it was for, was put there to cause you harm.”
“And you can be sure of that, can you?” I snapped.
“Not fully, no,” Arden said, eyebrows creasing in concern as he looked at me falling apart and sat back. “But magikal intention leaves its traces, and as unpleasant as it is to learn that you have been under such a thing, it did not seem to be of malicious intent. Does that make it right? Of course not. It is an unforgivable infringement on your person. That being said, I believe that with or without the block, you would still very much be you.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means, Killer,” Alouette’s voice was sharp yet soft as she spoke. “That whatever they have done, it didn’t mess with who you are.”
I let her words wash over me, drinking them in like they were a lifeline. Soaking in her conviction that I was, and always had been, me. I couldn’t be sure, and neither really could they, but I grabbed onto it and held it close; the alternative something I wasn’t ready for.
“Take it out,” I demanded, knowing I would never be able to live life with the knowledge there was something inside my head.
“I—” Arden began, eyes wide as I sprung to my feet.
“Arden, take it out. Please. Nothing in my life makes sense anymore. What if this block is the answer to everything? Why I didn’t grow up here, who my parents are?”
“You must understand, it’s not an easy process to undertake, Elodie. Especially if it’s been there for some time. It can get… complicated.”
“Can you do it or not?” Maybe it was unfair to ask this of him, but I saw no other option.
Silence stretched, and my hand traced the pendant under the fabric of my dress. I started slightly at the unfamiliar shape before my mind caught up that it was Kaius’ necklace that now rested against my skin.
I was waiting for the words to leave his mouth. For him to tell me he couldn’t do it—couldn’t help me—when a sudden noise from above drew my attention. My head tipped up as the sound of hundreds of wings filled the air from higher than I could see, a steady thud of air bouncing around the room. A single white feather began to descend, drifting slowly towards us, though I was yet to see a single bird.
It fell past Arden’s face, settling in his lap. The moment it touched the velvet fabric, all noise ceased, only the crackle of flames continued. Our eyes met and after a pause, he nodded. Shoulders sagging with relief, I sat back down. I opened my mouth to thank him, but he cut me off, raising the hand not clasped around his pipe.
“This will take time. I will do it. I will help you as much as I can, but I may not have the ability to remove it.” I didn’t want to consider the possibility that I would be left with this block for the rest of my life.
“And if you can’t?” I wasn’t sure I was ready for his answer.
“Then I will help you find someone who can.”
Wondering how to cope with this continual rollercoaster of emotions, I squeezed my eyes shut. When would it stop? When would life go back to normal?
Was life ever normal?
Finding out you’re a lost Fae child who was brought up in the wrong place, with sketchy powers, and a block on their brain that could be holding back fuck knows what?
Definitely not fucking normal.
I would need at least a week to process everything that just happened. Keeping my eyes closed, a light buzzing noise came from Alouette’s direction, and I knew there would be no downtime to sort through this barrage of new information. Back pressed into the soft chair, ignoring the almost twinge of pain from the fresh scars, I turned towards her, opening my eyes. She slid a black phone from her pocket, eyes furrowed as they scanned the screen. Before the words left her mouth, I knew I was being summoned somewhere else. And that somewhere else was likely not the comfortable bed I wanted to spend the next twenty-four hours cocooned in.
“Where to now then?” I asked, forcing myself to stand. Breathing in the sweet smoke that trailed from the fireplace, my lungs expanded as it soothed the edges of my magik.