62. Chapter Sixty-Two
62
CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
ELODIE
A s the door to Arden’s room slammed shut behind me a second time, I was viscerally aware of the asshole that was following. Deciding once again that getting lost in this palace was more than worth getting away from him, I blindly turned the next corner, speeding up the second I did so.
Would there ever be a day that we could be in a room for longer than an hour without it descending into… a fucking shit show.
Did it really matter? Probably not.
I wasn’t going to tell him what had been dragged from some lost corner of my conscience. Memories of me laying in a bed that dwarfed my child body, next to a woman with soft skin and hair the same colour as mine that fell over the pillows as she held me in her arms. Her gentle melodic voice singing in a language I didn’t know, in a voice that wasn’t familiar.
I knew that she must be my mum.
Pain splintered through me at that tiny sliver of time I had regained with her, tearing at that parent shaped hole I carried in my heart.
Her image had threaded through jumbled memories of a childhood I had barely any recollection of. Too many tangled ends for me to understand, and no way to disentangle the threads. The memories twisted and blurred in ways so that I didn’t know where one began and another ended.
Vestiges of a life I had once lived and been forced to forget. Even now, I could feel an insistent will to ignore everything Arden had just forced from behind that wall. Everything that had been all but invisible.
I wouldn’t forget, not now.
And Nanna, fucking Nanna . I knew she had a hand in it.
All the things she knew, the way she had hidden entire parts of my life. How she had redirected my inquisitive child mind, told me just enough that whatever had locked away my life allowed me to be satisfied with the crumbs she fed me. Her influence threaded through everything that made no sense.
And the last thing I had seen before I opened my eyes to find Bastian staring down at me, had been that same soft skin, the same white hair. Yet this time, it was streaked with crimson as blood clumped the strands. It coated her skin, and as I looked through the eyes of the memory, it had coated mine, too.
I felt the echo of pain as her hair decorated the ground. There was a dim realisation of chaos reigning around me, but the memory was faded—the edges blurred. I had no way to sharpen its focus.
Nothing I saw today could help Bastian; everything had been but a snapshot of my past. There were no secret weapon plans, no grand battle strategies, but of course he wasn’t going to believe that.
The despair of those memories was flooding my system, clouding all thoughts.
I needed space, to run from here, and I couldn’t let him see that.
I needed to scream and rage and knock all these stupid paintings off the fucking wall until the sharp remnants of their glass fronts littered the floor in mirror of what was left of my heart, but I couldn’t stop and give him the opportunity to catch up.
The edge of heat began to tease at my back, and I sped up as heavy footsteps thudded closer than I would have liked. A turn in the corridor gave me the chance to up my speed, wanting nothing more than to increase the distance between us. I hated the relief that pressed against me as I saw another turning close up.
Fury at the acknowledgement I was running from him churned bitterly with the rage that he had already planted there. Blindly, I threw myself around the corner, uncaring that not a single thing around me was familiar and paying for that impulsiveness as I slammed into a wall of muscled body.
Stumbling back, my heart lurched in surprise. I tried to continue my escape, attempting to dodge around this newest obstacle while hurried apologies fell from my lips. Until large hands gripped my arms, righting me before I could get away, and I looked up to the harsh lines of a face carved from the mountains themselves.
“Little One,” Marcellus said, eyebrows dipping slightly as he looked me over. “What’s wrong?”
I opened my mouth, unsure how to answer when the footsteps trailing behind me turned the corner, stopping. I closed my eyes in defeat, the heat he radiated too close.
“Elodie,” Bastian growled.
“Fuck,” I breathed, opening my eyes as a wave of anger-infused magik flooded my body.
Marcellus’ hands tightened for a moment as energy pushed beneath my skin, and his eyes fixed over my head.
My mind was clouding with the uncomfortable mix of emotions my magik was latching onto. Add that to the new memories that were clamouring for my attention, desperate for me to pull them out and inspect them. Give them the time they needed after being locked in the dark for so long, but I couldn’t do that now.
The temperature around us was steadily climbing, a bead of sweat rolled down my temple as the image on my mum's blood-stained hair replaced the solid form of Marcellus’ chest. I blinked it away, tilting my head back to lock eyes with his ice-hardened stare.
“You want out?” he asked, and as I nodded, Marcellus let go of my arms, turning his back on Bastian with no hesitation as his hand slipped to my waist and he guided me forward. His grip on me held me steady as I fell into step with him, instantly leaning into his touch as it gave me an anchor.
A flare of heat ripped through the hall for one agonising second, agitating the freshly healed scars on my back and drying the tear tracks on my face, before it was sucked away. A lash of air whirling around us and dissipating its reach as Marcellus countered it without breaking stride.
I risked a look over my shoulder, the air around Bastian shimmering in the heat that poured from his skin. Marcellus’ squeeze on my waist had me turning me back.
“Weren’t you going somewhere?” I asked, aware we were walking in the opposite way he had been.
“Nowhere important.” Marcellus pulled his phone from his pocket, tapping a message out one-handed before putting it away.
As he led me down corridors I’d never seen and stairways I didn’t recognise, part of me was surprised Bastian hadn’t followed behind. Forcing me back into his company, the anger-laden energy that was churning within me was a reminder that it was for the best that he hadn’t.
Icy air hit my overheated skin as we exited the palace, and for once I was grateful for the unforgiving weather. I hadn’t paid attention to the direction we were headed. My head too full of thoughts to care, as we came to the edge of a vast field that was teeming with soldiers. All dressed in varying shades of black and grey, with their confusing assortment of weapons being put to use everywhere I looked.
The clamour of people and weaponry combined halted as we approached the boundary, all attention turned our way, making me increasingly aware of the hand he kept clamped onto me. Marcellus lifted a hand, and the noise resumed as they continued with whatever they were doing out here.
There was a pile of unused equipment heaped next to an equally large jumble of weapons. Without breaking stride, Marcellus tugged out a large wooden frame, perching it effortlessly on his shoulder and picking up a small brown bag, before guiding me around the outer edge. As we strode past, I scanned the others, mild curiosity playing on their faces as they paused to track our path. Including one I recognised from the bonfire last night.
My eyes met Lev’s as he grinned at me from behind a huge, padded target. I managed a small smile that didn’t match the turmoil inside me as he braced for his partner's attack. Still none the wiser as to why Marcellus had brought me here, I let him lead me on.
We kept waking until we were the furthest people on the field, and Marcellus’ hand left my waist as he dropped the bag on the floor. Separated from his giant form, the cold found me, attacking the bare skin of my legs that wasn’t covered by the long skirt I wore. The hooded jumped wasn’t enough either though there had been exactly no time to grab a coat. Cupping my hands over my mouth, I heated them with my breath as Marcellus placed the target on the ground, adjusting the stand until it was upright.
“You want to talk about it before or after you let your rage loose?” he asked as he faced me, his ridiculously huge frame consuming my line of sight. Not that I really wanted to look anywhere else.
“About what?” I feigned ignorance, unsure I was ready for this conversation, despite the fact he had saved me the displeasure of more time in Bastian’s company.
He huffed a rough laugh that carried on the air, and I didn’t miss the way a few faces glanced over at us. “About why you were raging through the palace with the Prince hot on your heels?”
Toying with the rings on my fingers as I spoke, the memories that had been pulled from my mind were screaming at me. “Because I’m tired of his demands from me, and he’s tired of not getting what he wants for once in his life.”
“You decided against punching him in the face this time?” I could practically hear the smirk through his words as he teased me.
“I always want to punch him in the face, but unfortunately, I doubt I’ll ever catch him off guard like that again.”
As silence settled between us, Marcellus didn’t push for more, but I found myself speaking anyway. “There’s a block on my mind, and today Arden tried to remove it. Bastian thinks that there is something in my memories that will show him a way to defeat The Darkness.” My eyes flicked to the reassuringly calm sky above us.
“It worked?” he asked.
“A little.”
“And did you remember anything?”
Hesitantly, I nodded, not looking his way again until his large fingers gently gripped my chin, each point of contact like needle points of awareness, turning my head so I had no choice but to meet his gaze. Despite his icy stare, heat flooded through me at the intensity I found in them.
“Don’t worry, Little One, I’m not the one who needs your secrets.”
No, that’s Prince Dickhead.
My fists balled at my side as his eyes searched for something within mine. When I didn’t reply, he tilted his head towards the target set up before us, a barely perceptible shimmer of air coating it.
“That anger that’s inside,” he said, voice vibrating the air between us. “Use it.”
So, I did. I let the memory of Bastian’s demands fuel me. Of his stupidly pretty face that hid the ugliness that lurked within. Marcellus dropped my chin, taking a step away as I felt each memory of Bastian’s hatred towards me.
My magik eagerly latched onto the anger that hadn’t ebbed, and I pulled at it. Tugging it forward as magik encouraged it on, the two melding with one another until there was no magik and anger, there was just power.
My arms trembled, the power almost too much as I fought it, yet it clung to me, reluctant to leave the constraints of my body.
“Shape it. Release it.” Marcellus’ hard voice dragged through my senses in a caress that had me shuddering, but still not a drop of magik left my body.
“Let it out, Elodie.”
My hands flew out, palms thrown up in the direction of the target, and magik surged from me. The cut on my thumb throbbed, the bangles on my wrist clanging together as it channelled down my arms before slamming into the wood. My grief, rage, confusion. Every emotion and all those I couldn’t find a name for, aided in the torrent that I channelled from my palms.
Its groans of protest under the onslaught barely registered as the rush of energy flooded my body, bringing with it a wave of euphoria that begged me for more.
The wooden frame absorbed the hit, my magik flowing into it until it began to strain, the grain warping as power poured from me in a flood that swept through me.
“That’s it,” Marcellus murmured softly.
My breath caught, magik stuttering out, and I staggered a step as my energy abruptly cut off. The well inside me still writhed with the need for release, but my mind felt settled, more than it had since Bastian had ruined my day by knocking on my door.
Whatever warmth my magik had afforded me as I wielded it abandoned me, allowing the frigid air to set my body shivering under its touch as we both stared at the buckling—and very obviously misshapen—wood.
Marcellus turned to me, face hardening before he flicked his fingers, and a layer of warmed air shaped around me, heat sinking into my body until the sting of the weather was no longer there.
The touch of his magik across my skin sent my nerves alight, warmth rushing to places that were entirely unhelpful right now. My own magik mercilessly encouraged it until I was subtly clenching my legs to ease the ache that had settled between them.
“Thank you.” My voice huskier than I would have liked, I cleared my throat, staring at the warped wood as my chest heaved from the exertion of using my magik in such a way. As the familiarity of the warm air playing through my hair and flowing over my skin hit me, I looked up at him, a burning question on my lips. “Where were you last night?”
It was a stupid thought, yet now it had been planted, I needed to know if I was right.
“Last night?” he asked, head tilting to the side and crossing his arms over his wide chest, biceps bulging indecently and drawing my intention to the taut black material of his uniform. His dark laugh, a thunderclap of sound, washed over me, and I flicked my eyes up to his. The telltale heat of a blush stained my cheeks red as I nodded in confirmation.
“In the trees, watching you.”
My eyes widened in surprise at his honesty, and my core clenched at the idea of his gaze on me. “Watching me?”
“Mm,” he replied, mirth dancing in his eyes as I squirmed under his confession.
“Do you watch other people?” I asked hesitantly.
Marcellus’ icy blue eyes bore into me, into my very soul as he spoke. “Only you.”
Well fuck.
“Only me?” I managed, grateful it came out louder than the whimper I was holding back as his gaze consumed me, the heat that trickled across my skin now nothing to do with the warmth of his magik.
“Only you,” he repeated.
“Why?” It was barely a whisper on the wind as my heart squeezed under his attention.
“Because I wanted to.”
Why do I like the thought of that?
My body was churning with this confusing mixture of emotions, and I could do little more than stare up into his rugged face, holding back the need to step forward. To fit my body against his.
“And trouble does seem to find you.” His lips quirked in a smirk, and suddenly I was more than happy with the distance between us.
“I can look after myself,” I protested.
Kind of.
“Prove it.” He gestured towards the equipment he had me throwing magik at, a challenge in his eyes.
“Prove it?” I arched an eyebrow at him, more than ready to accept.
Turning toward the wooden frame and ignoring its already sorry state, I dug down into the anger that had barely retreated. Into the frustration, both with the revelations of my memories and of Marcellus’ closeness. Letting them fill my magik with all it needed.
It built with barely a nudge as I remembered the seconds of peace I had felt as I emerged from my mind and locked eyes with Bastian, only for the words uttered in his deep voice to eviscerate that feeling so completely, I felt a fool for allowing it, even for that minute space of time.
As the rush of magik filled me, my arms vibrated as I fought to keep it in check. My head clouded with power, mind consumed with the way it was scraping along my nerves.
Without instruction this time, I released it, letting it free from the constraints of my body.
The groaning of the wood intensified a second before the sound of a crack snapped me from the haze of magik. I stared at the wood in disbelief as it fell to the floor, cleaved cleanly in two as I sucked in air that tried to freeze my lungs.
“You need more?” Marcellus asked, though I was pretty sure he already knew the answer.
It was still there, that ball of anger buzzing under my skin and waiting for an outlet. I could feel the slight tremor to my limbs as the energy within me continued to swell.
I swallowed hard, chest heaving in exertion, grateful as he passed me a bottle of water that I gulped down before nodding at him.
“This way.” He motioned with his head to a cluster of trees, and I followed close on shaky legs.
We stopped a short while beyond the tree line; it wasn’t a clearing, just a space within the woods where the trees were slightly wider apart. The noise of the soldiers was completely swallowed by the surrounding greenery, and I was intimately aware we were alone now. With an effortless flick of his fingers, Marcellus directed a flow of magik between the bare trunks of two trees. An iridescent shimmer swirled through the air until it weaved a wall between them, spanning the leaf strewn floor up to the canopy of branches high above.
I stared wide-eyed at the magik, at how easily he wielded it. Knowing the only instances of magik I had really used were ones where force was needed as opposed to anything subtler, more nuanced.
Will that be part of my future, or if I would forever be fumbling along.
I didn’t wait for instruction before directing my hands at his wall of energy, letting it pour through my fingers as Marcellus’ shield absorbed every drop. The way it caressed my skin and set my nerves blazing had me aching for more. Something physical, something I knew the stack of corded muscle and rugged appeal somewhere close by would be more than capable of providing.
The breath I pulled in was laced with the leather and mountain air scent that clung to Marcellus. My body buzzed as it filled my lungs, and my power shuddered before it continued on.
“Just think.” Marcellus’ gruff voice came from entirely too close that I almost felt the caress of his words on my skin. Something within my chest lurched as I became acutely aware of every inch of space that separated us as he stood rooted behind me. “You get a grip with this, you’ll be able to leave this place just like you want.”
He knew.
Knew that the day in the library, I had been searching for a way out, a way home, though so much had happened since then. The faded memory of Nanna mixing me a tea to drink filtered through the control on my magik. I could taste the faint tang of herbs which had almost dulled my senses and knew without a doubt she had aided in hiding who I truly was.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it, to run back to your human life?”
A fury at that moment of realisation flooded me in a wave of fierce heat, and the cold, bitter air left droplets on my heated skin.
“Yes!” I lied through literal gritted teeth. My control slipped as I lied to both myself and him, because I wasn’t human, and as my memories became clearer, I didn’t want to go back.
“Do you even know what you want, Little One?”
I couldn’t answer him, my body heavy with revelations and magikal exhaustion.
“Well, when you do, I suggest you ask for it.”
As if I hadn’t been asking for answers since the moment I got here.
My magik finally guttering out as the last of it was absorbed between the trees, and I whirled to face him. “Because it’s that fucking easy, right?” I snapped, panting out short, sharp breaths.
Marcellus stepped closer, and without thought, I retreated a few paces. Something dark and full of hunger flashed behind his eyes, and I was intimately aware of how alone we were.
“Oh, I wouldn’t run from me, Little One. You’re not ready to deal with the consequences.”
“What consequences?” My pulse raced in a way that told me I liked the darkness I saw within him, though I kept my feet planted.
“That’s for another day.” From his lips, the words were a promise, and I couldn’t ignore the spark of excitement that they lit within me, pushing aside my rage as I held back on questioning him further. “Now, again.”