65. Chapter Sixty-Five
65
CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
ELODIE
H aving moved quickly through the palace using passages that only someone— Kaius —with intimate knowledge of its layout could have navigated, I hadn’t had time to second-guess coming home.
We had been released from the magik Kaius used to get us here, right on the edge of where I knew my wards normally stopped.
Except as we waited in the shadows of the trees, I knew they were no longer in place. My home, open and exposed to all the unknown things I had protected it from. Only a thin, barely negligible shield I could feel emanating from the talismans hung around my house gave it any protection at all.
I didn’t know how that was possible, but I did know it was empty.
I hated the relief that had my shoulders sagging with the knowledge I wouldn’t have to face anyone.
We waited a moment, surveying the garden under the clear night sky, the moon unobscured and offering us enough light to see.
“Are you ready?” Kaius asked, his voice low and so close to my ear, goosebumps erupted across my skin.
“Not really,” I breathed, yet I broke from the cover of the trees all the same. Kaius’ presence a steady comfort beside me as we moved together, passing through the gate of the iron fence that bordered the front garden.
“We can’t be here long,” Kaius warned as we drew closer to my front door, and I nodded, knowing he was right, especially with no wards to protect us.
Our feet were silent as we followed the rounded stones that made up the path, the tangled jumble of flowers we walked past had done just fine without me.
I expected nothing less.
The stalks leant towards us as we walked past them, their petals straining towards Kaius who reached his hand out and stroked them absentmindedly as we passed.
How long had I wished for this, to just be back home? Yet here I was, hesitant to walk through that sickly purple door, back into the place that had been my safe space. Where I thought I had everything figured out.
Until along came two men whose truths had blasted straight through any security I had held onto.
My heart cracked as I noticed the worn patches of dirt that trailed through the garden, the shape of Titan’s huge paw prints etched into them everywhere I looked. I could have sworn they were bigger, but maybe I had just been away for too long.
Titan wasn’t here; he would have made himself known by now, and it wasn’t exactly easy for him to hide.
Reaching for the spare key I kept under a wilted pot of pansies, I let us into the darkened cottage. The smell of home crashed into me—sage and washing powder. The lingering scent of the last incense I had burnt, the woodsy smell of Titan that was ingrained into every blanket.
It was all muted, the absence of their sharpness an indication of just how empty my home now was. The lack of the tell- tale clack of nails on the wooden flooring was deafening in the silence that saturated my home.
My discarded white trainers stood out starkly against the dark floor where I’d kicked them off, my bag close by. Kaius peeked his head into the arch that led to the green-tiled kitchen, and I bent to pick it up, running my fingers across the coloured beads that were stitched onto it.
Polly had added them one evening when her latest hobby had been beadwork. She had sat with me one night as we watched TV together and sewn the tiny glass beads into the pattern of the constellations. It was wonky and almost impossible to make out the stars. When she had run out of navy beads, she’d opted for a garish purple, but it was one of my favourite things I owned.
She hadn’t managed to complete one for herself before she moved onto something else, but this one, for me, was finished.
I slipped my hand inside, fingers closing around the cold shape of my phone and pulled it out. The screen was black, no charge left after all the time I’d been gone and finding a pocket under the oversized clothing Kaius had dressed me in, I dropped it in.
I re-hung the purse on one of the hooks that held a collection of coats and scarves, winding one over my shoulders as I heard Kaius’ tread on the creaking floor as he came to my side. Looking down at the photo he held in his hand, one he must have taken from the fridge, I took it by its dented corner.
It was of Nanna and I in the garden at her house, a young Titan already struggling to fit his body on my lap. Our smiles were wide as he licked my cheek and Nanna scratched under his chin as he did so. My eyes burned with the threat of tears as I looked at us, knowing the person I was there never really existed. Without word, I passed the photo back.
Moving quickly before I let emotions take hold of me, I walked through the open sitting room, grabbing a brown crocheted blanket from the sofa and holding it to me, breathing it in. Not stopping, I headed straight for my bedroom, and the splintered shards of what was left of the door, a broken pile of pieces that would never fit back together.
I hesitated in the soundless hall, fists tightening in the wool as I was overcome by the memories of the last time I had been here; the last time my life had been normal.
That life had been a lie.
Kaius’ hand slid into mine, pulling me out of the haze I was descending into. Taking strength from his place at my side, I stepped into my room, wood crunching beneath our feet.
I half expected to still see the inky dark stain of The Darkness hovering above the bed, but instead, everything was how I had left it, the rumpled bed sheets now cold and empty. No furry form tucked beneath them ready with a wet nose and soft face to greet me. My heart sank, but I had known the moment we got here Titan was nowhere nearby.
The mess I had planned to tidy was waiting, along with the lamp Kaius and Bastian had knocked over, alerting me to their presence. Still in the middle of the room, its cord trailing away.
I couldn’t allow that night to linger in my mind as I dragged a holdall from under the bed, chucking it down with the scarf and blanket before moving to the wardrobe. Willing myself to focus, knowing this could be my only chance to take the things that mattered. Given that I had been longing to come home, I was strangely unprepared in what I wanted to take back with me.
I didn’t think about how Nanna would feel if she came here and found my things missing. Or how Titan would know I had been back. Instead, I dragged clothes off hangers, found jumpers that would keep me warm.
I swept the makeup that was littering the dressing table into a small bag, not bothering to check what was in there before zipping it up and adding it to the things I supposed I needed. Turning slowly on the spot, now deciding on the worth of every item my eyes landed on. I carefully avoided the photos scattered around the room. Mementos of another time, another person.
“Are you going to pack some of these?” Kaius asked from across the room, a hot-pink, lacy thong hooked over his finger, and a wicked smile playing on his lips to match the hungry glint lighting those stormy eyes.
Of course he would head straight to that drawer.
“They’re not exactly a necessity, are they?”
He winked. “Maybe not to you.” I laughed, savouring the lightness he brought to me and willing it to stay.
Each moment here was becoming harder, a need niggling inside me to leave this place behind. Had it really been so important to come back?
Returning to my task, I ran my fingers over the small piles of jewellery that littered the sideboard, sliding on more rings before I moved on, drifting to the bookshelf that was crammed with all manner of things. A crystal jar full of feathers I had found on my walks sat next to a sad-looking plant in a hand-painted pot. Large, white towers of selenite were being used as bookends, and old dusty bottles of forgotten perfume were lined on the top shelf. Books from romance novels to dog training manuals filled the rest of the space. I pulled out a few I knew I hadn’t yet read, weighing them in my hands, unsure when, if ever, I would end up back in the library at the palace.
Did I want to go back in there?
My eyes flitted over the titles of my romances I had picked out as I wondered if my newfound power worked on all books.
The romance ones would be especially interesting.
They were added along with a carved wooden box that held jewellery, one of many that were dotted all around my house. I didn’t bother opening it to see what was inside. After a moment of hesitation, I pulled a bag of spare tools from a shelf, knowing there would be offcuts of gold and misshapen gems rattling around the bottom.
I could sense Kaius as he moved around, taking in all the details of my world before he came into it.
Deciding I was done in my room, I left, stepping over the shattered remains of my door—ignoring the grind of wood beneath my feet. I headed for the bathroom, knowing it was pointless taking toiletries when everything had been provided for me, but I was going to anyway.
Tugging on the pull cord, the lights flickered on, and I caught my reflection in the mirror above the sink. Moving closer, my hands gripped the cold porcelain as I stared at myself, the contrast to what I had seen the last time I looked into it to now, was vast.
I could see more of the little girl who struggled to find a place in the world in the polished surface than ever before, though the eyes that looked back at me held none of her youthful wonder.
I’d had no idea what was waiting for me as I fell into that fitful sleep. I was still none the wiser on what was waiting in the days ahead. My eyes drifted to the coils of white hair that was escaping its confines, the light lashes that framed my dark eyes, slightly larger than most people’s. The face that had always been a little different, that had ensured—even as a child—I had always been something other .
I should of paid that closer attention.
Polly had been the only one to step closer, to join the strange world me and Nanna had existed within.
I pulled myself from the ache of a childhood excluded, finding my gaze drawn to the crystal jar where I had put the necklace Nanna had gifted me. The one I had snapped only hours before everything in my life changed forever. Now it was empty, only the white expanse of the sink showing through the bottom.
One hand still gripping the warming porcelain, I turned slowly, scanning the room for a sign that anything else was amiss, but there was none. Nothing else had been moved or taken, same with the rest of the house.
I found myself in the mirror once more, unsure how to feel about the brightness shining from my eyes, or the way my skin glowed just a little, and the need for my own things, to be in my own home continued to bleed away.
What difference would it make if I used the shampoo in the half-empty bottles lined along the tub instead of the ones back at the palace? Neither would help me find the truth in who I was, and in some ways, being here muddied that even more.
I left empty-handed, moving through the hall on autopilot until the gentle ring of the wind chimes from beyond the front door halted me.
From where I stood, poised on the edge of my bedroom, a sliver of the front door was visible. An exit, freedom. I could run now. From the Fae waiting in my room, from the uncertainty of what I was returning to.
He’d just find me again.
It wasn’t an easy thing to accept that I didn’t want to run. I wanted to find my place.
To go back in there and see the grin on Kaius’ face directed my way, feel his hands on my skin, taste his lips on mine. I wanted Marcellus to help me control the power that flowed within me and stay in his strange orbit that pulled me closer.
I was even ready for another round with Bastian if necessary; wiping the smirk off his smug, handsome face would always be worth it.
Turning from the false promise of freedom the door provided, I returned to my room to find Kaius laid out on my bed—boots dangling off the side with his hands clasped behind his head as he sunk into my pillows. Empty-handed, I peered into the holdall next to him, pressing my lips together hard to suppress a grin at the obscene pile of frilly underwear I had definitely not added.
Arching a brow, I poked through it, pulling out a highly impractical navy teddy. My body came alive as his eyes dragged over it, then me. “I don’t think there’s enough in here, you should add some more.”
With a speed that caught me off guard, Kaius lunged up, his height meaning he easily reached me. I squealed as he grabbed my waist, pulling me onto the bed until I straddled him. My hands landed on his hard chest as I steadied myself laughing, the teddy abandoned on the bed beside us.
“Well, why don’t you model some for me, and that way, I can pick my favourites,” he suggested, hands tightening on my waist despite the excess fabric that hung around me from his oversized jumper, and heat flooded my core at the constriction.
“I thought you said we didn’t have long,” I teased, fingers trailing over the collar of his own black jumper, just barely brushing the tattooed skin of his neck.
“We can make time.” His voice was a low husky sound now as my fingers continued their journey, feather soft over the hollow of his neck.
“For all that?” I followed the path of a vine that climbed the column of his neck, just slightly dragging my nail over the sensitive spot below his ear.
Kaius surged forward, my breath catching as his hand grasped the nape of my neck, pulling me into him and kissing me hard. I met him eagerly as our mouths moved with each other, tongues stroking.
It shouldn’t have felt right kissing him on the bed he had taken me from, on top of the very same blankets I had held against me when two dark shadows appeared in my room, but somehow it did. That pulse of energy that made itself known when we were together raced through me, searching for a way to him.
A hand glided down my back until it found its way to my ass, grabbing a handful and pressing me flat against him, moaning softly as his tongue invaded my mouth.
Even through the layers of fabric, I could feel the growing hardness of him between my legs. His hand hooked under my knee as he moved to roll us, our limbs as tangled as our tongues.
Before I had the chance to feel his weight pressed on top of me, my shoe caught on the handle of one of the drawers beside my bed, pulling it to its full extent with a bang that startled us apart.
Slightly breathless, I sat up as we stared at the source of our interruption, my ass now perched on his thigh.
As I slid from Kaius’ lap, I knew the delicately hand-painted cards I had been gifted so long ago would be there, waiting for me. My eyes darted round the room; somehow they had been finding their way to me. I had no idea if it was because of some magik connection, or if someone had been coming here to take them.
Kaius remained quiet despite how confused he must be right now, watching as I reached into the drawer.
Or maybe he’s not. Maybe he is the one sending me them.
As the touch of his lips still lingered on mine, I knew that wasn’t the case.
A prickle ran down my spine as I held them in my hand; they felt no different than before, yet the thought of them being in another’s hands—of being sorted through and dealt out—was an uncomfortable one.
Aware of Kaius’ eyes on me, I counted them, flicking each card familiar to me through my fingers.
Seventy-four.
All but the ones now lost in the palace.
I didn’t know what it meant, except that the ones that had found their way to me were from this deck. Tapping the sides, I reshaped them into a neat rectangle, the edges slightly soft from their years of use.
“Someone, or s omething , has been sending me cards,” I said, knowing Kaius’ attention was on me. “From this deck.”
Shuffling them quickly, I held them out to him, and without a word, he slid the top one off, flipping it over and placing it back down as the fool card looked back at us.
New beginnings.
“They’ve always been unnervingly accurate.”
With practiced movements, I replaced it within the deck, pulling a ribbon from the junk scattered at the bottom of the drawer and tied them neatly. I picked up a pink knitted scarf that was yet to be packed, using it to wrap them and carefully place in the corner of the bag that was otherwise a mess.
“I thought it was one of you at first. Taunting me with my own things, making me feel even more helpless than I already did.” I twisted a ring around my finger, my focus fixed on a fold of the bag that held everything I deemed necessary.
“It wasn’t us, Goldie.” Kaius’ hand found mine, our fingers locking gently together.
“I know.” I nodded slowly before looking up into his silver eyes, full of a truth I knew anyway. “Let’s go.”
The palace would never be my home, but right now, this didn’t feel like it was, either.