68. Chapter Sixty-Eight
68
CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT
ELODIE
I had been content with my time away from the clearing, but now I found myself back there. In the perfect circle of trees swaying lazily in a phantom breeze. The blue sky mocked me with its calm, the dusting of fluffy clouds that drifted past utterly unbothered by the coil of dread that wound inside me as I watched them.
The tall willow was where it always was, centre stage in this delusion, its weeping branches trailing through the pool that lay at its roots. The gems hidden under the surface illuminating the waters with their jewel tones. I was closer than before, the reach of its shade almost sheltering me from the heat of the sun. The rustling of the trees and the persistent buzzing of the bees that dipped into the wildflowers surrounding me, were the only sounds besides the deep pulls of air I was taking to calm my spiralling thoughts.
I was ready for the peace to break this time, waiting for that tell-tale crack. That thunderous roar that would shatter the stillness I was surrounded by.
I knew it wouldn’t last, knew it was just a matter of time before it all went to shit. I reached for my magik, already resigned to what I would find, and sure enough it was locked down. Stuck behind a barrier that this dreamscape seemed to relish in. So, I waited, knowing there was little more I could do.
Movement from behind the willow caught my attention, and a dark figure stepped from behind the wide trunk, as others had before. Their tall frame was one I would recognise in any circumstance, and a sliver of hope wormed its way inside me.
Maybe this one would turn out different?
Kaius moved from the shade of the trees, the willow fronds trailing over him, touching any part they could and not releasing their hold until he had stepped far beyond their reach. I waited, that coil of dread only knotted tighter around the hope seeing his face had created, and as he came to a stop, face blank of any emotion, it smothered it.
The perfect planes of Kaius’ face morphed into an expression of agony, my breath catching in my throat as a sharp gasp of pain left him. His teeth gritted, hands clenched so tight, I could see the thick tendons standing along his arms.
My heart was pounding within the confines that squeezed it, tugging painfully as a guttural cry left his lips, setting my magik flaring inside its prison. And they kept coming, each one landing a blow against me.
As I had no choice but to watch, he changed. His form flickered, shrinking down. Arms that had been covered in the art I loved to admire, were now unblemished, the youthful smoothness of his jaw belied nothing of the beard that had been there only a moment ago. For in his place was now a young boy with a face as angelic as the one I had come to adore.
My heart cracked, splitting as I watched this younger version of Kaius. Because I knew without a doubt that was who I was now looking at, twisting in pain, silver eyes wide and unseeing as he fought the invisible demons that were tormenting him.
I tried to reach for him, but just as before, my feet were rooted to the floor, and I was forced to bear witness — incapable of holding back the sob that left me.
In the space within a blink, it was the Kaius I knew again, towering over me, the one who had held me in his arms. I called out to him, desperate, but the wind stole my voice. The words carried away from me, sent to the play among the swaying branches that had no interest in us.
It didn’t take Kaius’ voice though, letting those notes of despair fall between us as he staggered, managing a single step closer before he stumbled. His knees hit the packed dirt, head tipping back on a roar filled with suffering. Shakily, he held his arms out, palms up to the blue canvas above us, and I watched in horror as fissures opened up along them, flesh splitting open as lines of fire writhed, the edges charred to a sickening black.
Instinctively, I lurched forward needing to stop this. To find a way to end his pain, but just as before, my legs wouldn’t obey. They wouldn’t move, and I dropped to the floor. The solid dirt scratching at my knees, I was dressed in the clothes I was sleeping in. The shallow cuts didn’t matter, not when Kaius’ cries of pain sliced so much deeper.
I scrambled forward awkwardly as far as my frozen legs would allow, clawing at the ground, desperate to get to him. My nails split open, and beads of blood watered the dirt along with the tears that streamed down my face.
The sound of his pain seeped into the very earth that the wildflowers bloomed from, marking it forever as a place of his suffering.
Would more flowers bloom from those drops of agony, or would the land become barren, the salt of my tears condemning this place, so the next time I was brought here I would see exactly where my anguish had landed?
No matter how I cried out, how I pushed all I was into my attempts to reach him, I went nowhere.
My heart wrenched, that strange pull now unbearable as it urged me forward, but I remained useless. My magik out of reach, Kaius out of reach.
Kaius roared out to the clearing, and my blood froze in horror as I could do nothing but watch as the fissures that marked his body rose higher. Creeping beneath his sweat-soaked top before emerging to claw at his face. As his form changed again, I choked on a cry as without his beard, I could see every inch of those vicious, flaming lines that were crawling to his jaw.
I screamed for anyone to help, my throat tearing with the force of it, but we were alone. There was no one here to witness his agony except the silent trees and the clouds that trailed across the sky, the bees that continued their journeys collecting pollen on their fat, yellow–dusted bodies. And they didn’t care.
I kept my eyes on Kaius, allowed the pain of his torment to soak into me; maybe that way it wouldn’t hurt him as much, if I took some for myself.
Slumping forward, my fingers gouged lines into the dirt beneath me as defeat pressed heavy against my shoulders. Accepting that all I could do was stay here, watching and waiting for someone to free me from the hell that was playing out inside my head.