Chapter 29
nico
The pass nearly ripped my stick out of my hands, and I barely caught it.
Jace always fired the puck like he was trying to break through concrete, so I should’ve been ready.
But I’d been watching the way the morning light hit the ice, thinking about Pack’s laugh.
I couldn’t forget the way his mouth had felt against mine two days earlier in San Francisco.
I turned to make the play and caught an edge.
“Earth to Rosco,” Theo called, circling behind the net. “You planning to join us, or are you reliving your weekend with lover boy?”
“Zip it,” I yelled, but the grin wouldn’t leave my face.
Coach Murphy ended practice after special teams. The locker room buzzed with the usual chaos of chirps, sweaty gear flying, showers running, and stories about dates. Somehow, it all felt lighter.
While we were getting dressed, Theo glanced over. “You look well-rested. Or at least well-fucked.”
“His aura’s different,” Noah added.
I waved them off. “It’s called being in a good mood.”
Kai smirked. “Uh-huh. Sure, bud.”
We ended up in the players’ lounge with sandwiches and drinks. Sunlight streamed through the windows, matching my mood. For once, we all relaxed because the schedule wasn’t eating us alive.
Kai sprawled in the chair opposite me. “So, your trip to San Francisco kept you from helping us lose to Pittsburgh. Anything fun to report?”
“We worked an event.”
Jace snorted. “Yeah, and I’m a monk.”
I opened my mouth to chirp back, but a rush of memories stopped me. Pack’s voice in the morning, the way he’d kissed me. Jesus, how he’d fucked me. I tried again to wipe the loopy grin off my face.
They noticed, and the jokes became gentler. After we finished eating, Noah looked at me and said, “Be careful, okay?”
I raised an eyebrow, and he shrugged. “Packy’s figuring a lot out at once. Sometimes, straight guys freak out.”
His tone was light, and it didn’t sound like he was giving me a warning. But he was concerned.
Theo nodded. “It happens. Remember Wayne, the fucker Kai dated last year? Broke his heart.”
“Go to hell!” Kai banged a fist on the table. “Why would you bring him up? Paquette’s nothing like that. From everything I know, he’s a good guy. Even when he and Nico were on the outs, he was always friendly to the rest of us.”
“Since when is being careful a bad thing?” Theo asked. “When a man’s always been straight, he can be unpredictable.” He pointed at me and winked. “Rosco may be into him, but being screwed over is one way he doesn’t want to… well, get fucked.”
I laughed along, but my mind was already racing. Even while we played the latest God of War, their words wouldn’t let go.
I stopped to pick up groceries on my way home. By the time I reached my apartment, the cold air and busy sidewalk had pushed the guys’ warning out of my mind. I was putting things away when my phone buzzed.
PACK: Hey Nix. Just got back to the hotel for lunch and a nap but wanted to text first. Missed our morning call.
Another buzz.
PACK: Could we talk tonight after the game? Might need help winding down.
The Warriors were in Vegas, three hours behind us. I was already grinning as I typed a reply.
NICO: Hey! Been missing you bad. Tonight sounds perfect, and I’m sure I can help you burn off your excess energy. I’ll be watching the game, so score one for me.
PACK: Do my best! Wish we were together.
NICO: Me too.
After a long nap, I made a grain bowl for dinner and managed three bites before my stomach clenched.
Sometimes, straight guys freak out.
I set my fork down. Pack wasn’t the kind of man to play me. I knew that. But knowing he wasn’t an asshole didn’t tell me what he wanted long-term.
He liked me. Enjoyed the sex. Called me his boyfriend. But did he want a future with me? I had no fucking clue.
Pack had spent his whole life thinking he was straight.
I saw it in college. The bragging, the parade of women, and the noise when he brought someone to the room that had me buying noise-canceling headphones.
If he was bi, and I believed he was, then everything he thought he knew about himself was changing.
I knew what that was like. When I finally admitted I wasn’t bi, I had to face the truth that I’d dated women not because I desired them, but because I wanted to fit in with the guys and needed to get off. I thought I was losing my mind. I’d spent years fucking women while thinking about men.
What if Pack was doing the reverse? What if he needed to test it? My throat filled up. What if he already had?
I shoved the bowl away and put my face in my hands. I wanted him completely, but I had no fucking idea if we were even walking the same road.
By the start of the Warriors game, I’d calmed down enough to sit on the couch under a blanket. The Warriors beat the Aces 5–2 in an easy game. Pack was at his best, fast and locked in. When he scored from the blue line in the second period, he held up his stick and waved.
That was our signal. “Hi babe, this one’s for you.”
After the game ended, I picked up my phone.
NICO: Congrats, you big lug! That goal was a beauty. Can’t wait to see you on our call. Ready for some fun, Coach?
He didn’t answer right away, which I understood. Postgame is always chaos. Forty-five minutes passed, then another hour. When my phone finally buzzed, my heart was already heavy.
PACK: Sorry it took so long. Reporters wouldn’t let us go, and a ton of fans were waiting when we left. The boys wanted to take Harpy out for his birthday. I know it’s really late for you, so let’s talk in the morning, okay?
No heart or sexy hint about tomorrow. Not even a “sleep well.” I stared at the screen, hoping for more, but nothing came.
NICO: Sure. Good night.
He sent back a thumbs-up. A goddamn, fucking, I’m-an-asshole thumbs-up.
I tossed my phone on the coffee table and stomped into the kitchen for a beer. Back on the couch, I stared at the ceiling and tried not to assume the worst.
It’s nothing.
Guys go out after games. I’ve done it myself plenty of times. But not after promising my boyfriend we’d spend time together.
The warning came back again: Sometimes, straight guys freak out.
What if it was Pack’s night to test what he wanted?
“A ton of fans waiting,” he’d said. I’d watched teammates grab girls from the players’ entrance more times than I could count. Hell, when I was a rookie, I’d found guys that way. Drinks first, then the hotel.
Fuck it to hell. Was Pack already back in his room with someone who wasn’t me, someone who didn’t have a dick?
I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up the beer. Jesus Christ. I hated that loving Pack made everything sharp and dangerous. I couldn’t lose him, but I couldn’t cage him, either.
Eventually, I went to bed. The night was far too quiet for New York, so my racing thoughts had free rein. My phone lay on the nightstand, already bracing for bad news. Somewhere, three time zones away, Pack was having fun doing something.
“Please don’t pull away,” I whispered into the dark.