Chapter 43 Packy
packy
The air in the bedroom seemed heavier after everything we’d said to each other.
I love you.
I want a future with you.
You’re it for me.
Nix stood a few feet away, fidgeting with his hands like he wasn’t sure what came next. We’d had a lot of sex by then, but this was different. We were stepping into something neither of us could pretend was casual anymore.
My heart raced. I wasn’t afraid of him but of pushing too fast, or not fast enough. I didn’t want to see that look in his eyes disappear if I hesitated.
“Come here,” I said.
He took two long strides, and then his mouth was on mine. I pulled him close, wrapping my arms around him and grabbing his shirt. The kiss was hard and desperate, releasing all the fear and anxiety of the past few weeks.
I’d missed the solid reassurance of his body pressed against mine, the taste of him, and even the sound he made when I bit his lower lip. But more than anything, I’d missed him.
He broke the kiss to pull his shirt over his head, and I did the same. Our hands brushed as we reached for each other again. His skin was warm, his shape familiar and perfect. Nix was everything I wanted.
“Let’s get naked.” He stepped back and pulled his pants down. I mirrored him, and when there was no clothing left between us, he kissed me again.
When he guided me toward the bed, I didn’t resist. We fell together, a tangle of limbs and breathless laughter, and finally, the knot in my stomach let go.
For the first time since he left me in Buffalo, I stopped thinking about what we’d almost lost and let myself want what was right in front of me.
Our eyes locked, and heat surged inside me. I wanted all of him. Holy fuck. I’d never asked for this. We’d talked about it, but action is different from words. If he hesitated, even for a moment, I wasn’t sure I’d survive it.
He brushed the corner of my mouth with his thumb. “Everything okay, babe?”
My throat was tight, and the words scraped out of me. “Um… You said to tell you when I was ready. Please. I need you to fuck me.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw. His eyes widened, and he framed my face with his hands. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. I need to feel you inside me, be connected like that.” I swallowed, trying to ease the dryness in my throat. “But you’ll have to take it easy. I’ve never…”
“I know.” He kissed my forehead. “I want this so much, babe. I’ll be gentle.”
After we pushed the comforter away, I settled back against the pillows. My heart hammered as Nix pulled lube from the nightstand and knelt between my legs. This sight of him there, hard but patient, made me shiver.
His eyes met mine: okay?
I nodded.
My cock was already hard too, a heavy weight against my stomach. When he traced a finger along its length, it throbbed.
He glanced up again, and my breath caught. It was Nix, the man I loved, but something in his eyes made my pulse stumble.
Scooting backward, he stroked my thighs. The drag of his fingers through the hair on my legs sent a jolt of heat up my spine. Nerves and excitement tangled in my chest, and I shifted without thinking.
When he leaned over and kissed his way up my legs, the world narrowed to the warmth of his mouth and the steady rhythm of his breathing. I curled my fingers into the sheets, choosing to trust him, even as another flicker of anxiety erupted low in my stomach.
“Bend your knees,” he said, “and scoot toward me a little.”
I did. “Enough?”
“Yeah. I can get to you right.”
The sharp click of the lube’s cap made me jump.
He let out a low whistle. “Christ, look at you. Pink and already twitching for me.”
I shivered when he swirled the cool, slick gel over my asshole.
“Easy, babe.” He rested his free hand on my stomach. “If you need me to stop, say so.”
I took a deep breath, and as I blew it out, he pressed against my entrance, then began tracing circles around it. It felt so good, I moaned.
He looked up long enough to smile, then returned to teasing my hole. I gasped when he slid his free hand down to my cock and started jerking me. His firm grip and slow rhythm were perfect, and the tension in my shoulders released.
“There we go,” he said. “My beautiful man.”
He pushed the tip of his finger inside, and the sharp burn made me hiss. My hole clenched around him.
“Shhh. It’s just me.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on breathing. In for four, out for five. In four, out five. The burn faded, replaced by a strange, full pressure. I opened my eyes and gave him a shaky nod. He leaned up and kissed me, our stubble scraping in a rough, pinprick drag that shot straight to my dick.
He pulled back, and his voice came out as a low rumble. “Still want me to fuck you?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “I need it.”
He started stroking my dick again.
“I’m leaking for you,” he said. “And I’m so hard it hurts.”
He pushed his finger in farther, beginning a slow, deliberate drag in and out. I gasped at the unfamiliar, spreading pressure. It wasn’t pain, more like a fullness that bloomed outward. A low hum of pleasure started in my gut.
“You’re doing so well, baby. I love seeing my big stud laid out like this, hard and moaning for me.”
I groaned when he added a second finger. It burned, but it was fucking incredible.
My hips moved on their own, making slow circles against his hand. Precum trickled from my cock, and strange, guttural sounds came out of me. Something amazing was happening inside me, and I was lost to the feeling, chasing it higher and higher.
“Like me playing with your prostate, I see.”
“F-fuck yes.”
He didn’t stop until I was a wreck, sweating and shaking, whispering desperate pleas for more. I was right on the edge, ready to come, when he slid his fingers free.
“No,” I said, grieving the sudden emptiness. “Why?”
“Have to get inside you. Can’t wait any more.”
“Do it. I’m ready.”
He rose to his knees and looked down. “Look what you’ve done to me.”
I followed his gaze. His hand was wrapped around the base of his thick cock. Veins pulsed dark and heavy under the skin, and seeing it made my dick throb in sympathy.
Holy fuck. How can I take that inside me?
It’s Nix. I’d do anything for him, so I’ve got this.
My heart pounded, and neither of us spoke as he moved forward. His cock nudged my hole.
“Okay, babe?”
“Yes. God, please.”
As soon as he pushed, my body locked down. The pressure was intense, but my ass had become a wall of muscle refusing to yield. He pressed harder, and for an awful second, I didn’t think I could take it.
He met my eyes. “Let me in. We both need this.”
I exhaled and tried to loosen my sphincter. The resistance shattered, and I cried out as a sharp, searing burn tore through me. He forced me open, but as much as I wanted it, I grabbed his hips and dug my fingers in hard. I needed to anchor myself. His eyes met mine again, and he tilted his head.
“Fuck,” I choked out. “It… it burns.”
“I know.” His voice was tight, but his eyes were warm. “We’ll take our time. I love you.”
Love you too. I meant to say it, but my chest was heaving as I pulled in ragged gasps of air. Nix remained frozen, barely inside me, trembling. From fucking him, I knew how much he needed to move, to bury himself inside me. How the hell was he holding still?
Because he wants to make this good for me more than for himself.
And I wanted to make it amazing for him. Finding control I didn’t know I had, I forced my body to loosen its iron grip.
He pressed again, sinking into me in one long, slow glide. It still burned, but he’d hit that spot again. This time it was better: a deep, overwhelming pressure that stole the air from my lungs.
A broken cry escaped him when he was buried to the hilt. Before I could stop it, a tear slipped out and ran down into my hair.
“Babe? Did I hurt you?”
“No,” I whispered. “It’s you. You’re inside me.” A consuming pleasure eclipsed everything else. “Move. Fuck me.”
He leaned down and kissed me as he pulled back an inch, then pushed home. He did it again and again, keeping his movements small. The glide was easier, and with each thrust, more pleasure spread through me.
He pushed deeper, unleashing something wild and desperate inside me.
“Oh!” My head fell back. “Oh, God. Fuck, that feels… so good.”
“Ready for more?”
I nodded, and his slow, gentle rhythm disappeared. He let go with powerful thrusts that soon had me gasping and crying out. Every snap of his hips seemed to drive his dick farther inside me, igniting more fire. I raised my hips to meet him, needing more.
“Yeah!” I cried. “Like that. Give it to me!”
He pounded me, both of us shouting by then.
Sweat slicked our skin, making every slap of our bodies wet and loud.
The room smelled of sweat and sex, the headboard knocking hard enough to rattle the wall.
My grip tightened, and I was breathing in rough bursts.
I’d never lost myself like this with anyone.
“Harder,” I demanded.
He drove into me with so much force it pushed me up the bed, so I wrapped my arms around him and held on. “Deeper!”
He gave me exactly what I begged for while I moaned and whimpered. I wanted to tell him everything. That I loved him, I was sorry, and I’d never let him go again. But all that came out was his name.
Each thrust fired a jolt of pleasure so hot my vision dimmed. My cock was aching, so I reached down and started jacking off. Since I was slick with precum, my fist flew up and down the shaft in a frenzy.
All at once, my balls drew up tight and fired. “Coming,” I choked out. “Now!”
My back raised off the bed as a strangled cry tore from my throat. The first spasm was a blinding wave. My cock spurted thick, hot ropes of cum over my chest and stomach. I couldn’t think or even breathe as the hard shots continued. I rode the wave as it wrung me out.
Nix fucked me through the aftershocks. Soon his rhythm broke. He shoved in all the way and yelled as he erupted deep inside me. I held on while he thrashed and grunted.
When he was spent, he crumpled onto me. As our hearts hammered, ragged gasps were the only sounds in the room. It was unnaturally quiet after all the noise.
After a while, he lifted his head enough for his eyes to find mine. “You okay?”
I chuffed out a tiny laugh. “Okay? Goddammit, Nix. I think I saw God.”
He gave me a lazy smile and brushed his lips over mine. “Did he look like me?”
If there ever was a time for a smartass retort, it was then, but my mouth had developed a mind of its own. “Exactly like you,” I said. “I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with anything but this. And only from you. I love you even more than I did before.”
We kissed, and when he pulled away, I tried to find his lips again.
He rolled to the side. “Need to clean us up so we can rest.” He grazed a finger across my chest. “You are one beautiful man.”
He padded into the bathroom. While he was gone, I stared at the ceiling while my pulse slowed. I was so glad I’d come to New York. We still had work to do, but now I was sure we would find our way.
I was smiling when he came back with a washcloth.
He paused at the edge of the bed, looking at me with… was that wonder in his eyes?
“Pack, I… That wasn’t just the best sex I’ve ever had. It was the most meaningful thing I’ve ever done with anyone.”
“Me too.” I reached out and touched his leg. “Both things. What we have is real, and it’s more than anything I could’ve imagined.”
A smile spread across his face, brightening the entire room. “Same. You’re the best thing in my life.”
He leaned over and worked the warm cloth against my skin. As he wiped away the sweat and cum, my mind spun from the intimacy.
When he finished, he tossed the cloth aside, got on the bed, and pulled the comforter over us. I rolled against him and tucked my head into the crook of his shoulder. “Only you,” I whispered against his warm skin.
“Only you,” he repeated, draping his arm across my chest.
It was our usual position, but the fit was different now.
His lips brushed my hair. “Let’s rest a while before we get dinner.”
I closed my eyes, and the steady rhythm of his breath lulled me. There was only him. He was all I needed.