Chapter 16
sixteen
CAL
That was stupid. So fucking stupid.
Having Harlow against the wall like that? Her soft body pressed into mine and her pulse beating beneath my hand? Fuck. I could come in my pants right now just thinking about it. I thought the memory of her begging me to let her come was hot. But I think my dick could cut glass right now.
I can’t fuck the nanny, right? That’s taboo. Or cliche. Or something.
I’m fucking thinking about it though. Nonstop. Every time my dick has been in my hand for two months, it’s been Harlow I’ve pictured.
I’m so fucking screwed.
Because I know her being the nanny isn’t the problem. It’s because she’s Harlow. She takes my breath away while making my heart beat. I can blame my position as her boss, or how taboo the situation would be all I want, but I would be lying.
I’m barely controlling myself around her now as it is. Her sassy mouth makes me want to kiss it. Her curves make me want to grab them. And if I’m honest, she’s really fucking interesting to talk to. She’s fun and smart and observant in a way that’s bordering on creepy. I like being around her. I like talking to her. Fuck, I even like the stupid reality shows she makes me watch. And if all that wasn’t enough, she’s amazing with Cora. My daughter fucking adores the woman. She loves her. And Harlow loves her right back.
As if she was summoned, Cora lets out a wail, and I’m rushing to her room. I see Harlow peek out of hers when I’m at Cora’s door.
“I’ve got her,” I whisper and Harlow nods, then shuts her door.
I scoop my baby girl up from her crib and bring her to the rocking chair to snuggle her. She still wakes up at night sometimes, but it isn’t from hunger. She just wants comfort. So I spend a lot of nights rocking her while she’s curled up against my chest.
I don’t mind it. I know I’ll miss these small moments.
Cora smiles up at me as her eyes slowly close. This is why nothing can happen between Harlow and me. This perfect little girl right here. She needs Harlow in her life right now, and I will not be the one to take that away from her. And it would be my fault. I’m not good with relationships. I don’t know how to be in one. I don’t know that I could ever be. Harlow deserves better than that, and so does Cora.
For Cora, I would do anything.
Give up anything.