Chapter 48
B eing back in Crue’s neighborhood feels more like coming home than when I return to the manor. It’s cozy here. Cramped, but cozy. There’s a palpable community, full of different dynamics, styles, personalities. At the manor, it’s just us. It’s bleak and impersonal.
I’m never going back there.
That’s why I opened the ceiling windows in the atrium before I left, to give us all a chance to fly away.
I never could’ve anticipated being caught by Crue yet again.
“How did you know where I was?” I ask him.
“I just…” He shrugs. “…know you.”
He knows me better than most people, but he doesn’t know all of me.
“You knew I’d be out there at that exact moment?”
“I saw you went out your window.”
The sensor he installed. I forgot all about that.
One-handed, he pulls over to park along the front yard of his parents’ house.
“And I got worried after…everything…”
Everything. Me. I unpinned a grenade right in his face and didn’t even have the decency to look him in the eyes before releasing the spoon.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said to you, how I treated you. I thought my father was suspicious of us and I was trying to throw him off. For your sake. You don’t know him like I do. He can be relentless toward those he feels wronged by.”
His eyes fall to my left cheek and I pull his signature move—smoothing out my eyebrow.
Crue pulls my hand down, kisses it, then thumbs my cheek.
“Is that why he did that?”
“He slapped me because I mouthed off.”
Crue takes a heavy breath, his chest expanding and contracting considerably before he says, “He’s going to pay for that.”
“He’s got the money.”
“Not financially.” His green eyes lift to mine. “Me falling for you isn’t wronging your father.”
“It is from his standpoint.”
“Because of how much I make?”
“That…among other things.”
He scoffs, already aware my father’s a top-tier snob.
“You didn’t know he was gonna fire me?”
“I knew he would be letting you go soon,” I say carefully.
“Why didn’t you tell me the job wasn’t for three years?”
“I tried.” I told him what I could.
“Not hard enough.”
“I’m sorry,” is all I can offer.
Crue dips his head in a slow nod.
“I was blindsided and I panicked,” I confess. “I thought we had another day together.”
“Is that why you were on the cliff?”
Somewhat.
“I was on the cliff because…” How do I tell him without telling him? “The path that’s mapped out for me is not the one I’d choose for myself.” My eyes fill with tears I didn’t know my body could conjure after crying for what feels like hours. “It’s not the one I’d choose for my worst enemy.”
“Is running Munreaux Motorcycles really that bad?”
“It is if your soul is in the sky,” I half-joke, salty tears spraying off my lips when I laugh.
“Your soul’s in the sky, butterfly, but your body’s not.” His hand at my face slides down to my chest, my heart, the one he tamed into total submission. “Your heart’s not. And they won’t be as long as I’m here to keep you grounded.”
“How are you going to do that?”
He nods toward the house. “Well, first, I’m going to take you inside, to my room where we’ll fall asleep in each other’s arms, mostly because we want to but also because we have to. My bed is much smaller than you’re used to. Hope that’s okay.”
“It’s more than okay.” I would snuggle with Crue whether we were on a container ship or a two-by-four.
“All right. Let’s start there.”
After he gets the car door for me, we approach the dimly lit house, my body filling with warmth.
Before Crue opens the front door, he pauses to say, “You might want to plug your nose.”
“Your house doesn’t stink, Major. Not like salt marshes or like dog. It smells nice.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. I was just being a bitch.”
Silently, Crue bobs his head, then opens the door and waves me through first. Nobody’s around while he gives me a quiet tour of the quaint house. There’s no formal dining room, no office, no theater, no gym, and yet, there’s still so much to explore. The walls and shelves are full of photos and knickknacks, all of them providing a visual history of Crue and his parents.
“Where’s your dog?” I ask in a hushed voice.
“Zeus? He’s probably sleeping in my parents’ room.”
“They don’t mind?” My parents didn’t allow pets, but if they did, they would never let that slide.
“They don’t really have a say. He sleeps where he wants, sometimes even in my room.”
“You don’t care?”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m a pushover for those I love.”
That makes me smile. “I noticed.”
“Good. I’ve been making it pretty obvious.”
Somehow, my smile widens.
“Come on.”
We get ourselves some water before Crue leads me to his bedroom. It’s not at all what I was expecting. It is small. But it’s also bare. Aside from a bed, a dresser, and a nightstand, there’s nothing else in here. No décor, no personality whatsoever. Nothing like the rest of the house, it could pass as a cell.
Was that his intent?
“It’s not that dark, I know.”
“It’s not really anything,” I mutter before eyeing him to suggest, “You could put a shirt over the lamp.”
“Oh, yeah. Shit.”
He proceeds to take the shirt he’s wearing off, only stopping when he hears me laugh.
“I knew it.” Every time I’d go to his room, there’d be another one of his shirts on the lamp. I figured that was why, but he never confirmed it until this moment.
“Just trying to make my little bat feel more at home,” he says with a shy grin. “Want me to see if I can scrounge up some moss for you?”
“No.” I roll my eyes. “Stick out your arms.”
Shirt still in one hand, Crue spreads his arms out wide. “Like this?”
I step up to his front and they close around me instantly.
“This feels like home.”
Crue hugs me tighter, blanketing me in love and security.
“My security blanket,” I say with a sigh.
“Your everything.”
With my eyes closed to keep the tears from falling, I breathe him in. “My everything.”
After a while, we undress and climb into Crue’s bed, our bodies coming together like magnets under the covers, our faces inches apart as we gaze into each other’s eyes.
“Why did you go through so much trouble to get rid of me in the beginning?”
I raise my gaze to the ceiling. Even in the dark I can see every tiny island of texture on it. All of our walls and ceilings are smooth. No blemishes, no imperfections. It sets a tone, a standard, one that’s expected to be upheld by the manor’s inhabitants at all times.
Crue shakes me. “Ever?”
I could tell him it was just something I did to all the guards my father tried putting on me and it’d be true. But it wouldn’t be the whole truth, not in his case.
“Because I wanted to keep you but knew I’d never get to.”
“I’m yours to keep. No one else’s. Never anyone else’s.”
But am I Crue’s to keep? According to my father, I’m not. My last name makes me his alone. My father isn’t the type to let go of his assets. If I thought there was a chance he would, I would’ve tried running away a long time ago.
I wouldn’t have gotten very far, which is most likely more to blame for my lack of escape attempts than anything else. But I didn’t have the same kind of motivation before. I didn’t have anywhere to go or anyone to go to.
Maybe now that I have both, I can give this a real effort.
“Is that why you called me Never?” I tease. I know why he did that—to hurt me as much as I was hurting him.
“That was a mistake. I shouldn’t have called you that.”
“It was genius. It made the whole thing more believable.”
“I still regret saying it.”
We kiss, our lips seeking the forgiveness for all their sins.
“Crue?” I ask during a breather.
“Yeah?”
“Is that Crue 2.0?” I point over my shoulder at the closet I could’ve sworn I saw the bear sitting on the floor of earlier.
Crue’s head jolts off the bed. “Is it? I don’t, uh, know. I don’t think it…” He drops his head, admitting, “Yeah, it is. I took that fucker on my way out.”
“You were in my room?”
He nods.
“Why?”
“I wanted to see if I could find anything else you were hiding from me.”
“And?”
“And… What’s with the dress at the bottom of your closet?”
Oh shit. I was supposed to throw that away. I just…got busy. Crue and I have been practically inseparable since that night.
“Must’ve fallen off its hanger,” I say shortly.
“It was dirty. And ripped.”
I don’t reply. I don’t think I even breathe.
“Who tore it? You or him?”
“Him,” comes out so quiet my own ears barely pick it up.
“Was it wanted?”
After a moment, I give my head a single shake.
He runs his hand through my hair, tucking it behind my ear.
“He’s going to pay for that.”
And just like I did when we were talking about my father, I say, “He’s got the money.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that night?”
“What would you’ve done? Something to get you fired?”
His silence is telling.
“That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“What happened?”
“The usual. He just…wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”
“That shouldn’t be the usual,” he says, probably referring to his own experience as well.
“It shouldn’t,” I agree.
“How far did he get?”
“Not as far as he wanted.”
“Did he hurt you or not?”
“He hurt me, but using the moves you taught me, he wasn’t able to rape me.”
“Is that why you wanted me to teach you them?”
I nod. “The word ‘no’ is a powerful man’s top allergen, and Mallory is—”
“A nobody. I had to look him and his dad up. They own some kind of hydrogen plant. That’s it.”
I wait for him to expand on that but he doesn’t. At all.
“Umm, well, power isn’t earned. It’s assumed. If Mallory believes he’s powerful, then he is.”
“You have a rich daddy. You have an aversion to the word ‘no.’”
“I don’t like when you tell me ‘no,’” I argue.
“Are you powerful?”
“That’s…” I shake my head. “No, that’s different.”
“How?”
“I’m a woman.” Duh.
“But same logic applies. If you believe you’re powerful, then you are.”
“I have no powers.”
“You fly.”
I can only scoff.
“Okay, fine. What do you call what you’ve done to me?”
“Bribery?”
Crue’s sudden burst of laughter triggers my own.
“You never gave me any money,” he says.
“Only because I don’t have any of my own.”
“You can make it.”
“How? I don’t have a lot of skills.”
“Then you focus on the skills you do have. Like, uh… You can teach art. Or coach cheerleading.”
“Cheer,” I correct automatically.
“You can coach cheer.”
I think about that for a moment, trying to visualize me coaching my own team. I taught Crue pretty well.
“Have you ever considered coaching wrestling?” He wasn’t a bad teacher either.
“No.”
“Why not? You’d be good at it.”
“Nobody around here wants me coaching their kids.”
“Nobody around here knows who you really are,” I argue with twice as much passion as before.
“They know the name and the headlines.”
Yeah. That’s all people know of me, too.
We lie in silence for a long time, Crue’s hands on my hair and shoulder, mine on his abs and chest.
“How much did my father pay you?”
“Ever.”
“What? It’s not like I didn’t know he was paying you. I was literally your job.”
“Not like that.”
“I know. I know. But how much?”
“Fifty thousand…plus another five as a bonus for making it past the first day with you.”
I can’t help it, I chuckle.
“You fucking terror,” Crue says, zero condemnation in his tone, only admiration.
“Is fifty-five thousand a lot?” Obviously, it’s not for my father, but for Crue, it might be.
“More than I earned all of last year.”
Wow. Crue was really undermining himself before working at Munreaux Manor.
“So then you’re doing it? Leaving Sea Haven?”
“That was the plan when I thought I’d have a million dollars.”
“But fifty-five thousand is still enough, isn’t it? You can move somewhere with that much. Right?” I don’t know how much living expenses cost. I don’t know how much anything costs. Technically, I don’t even know how much my daily matcha lemonades cost because I purposely overtipped on every order.
“That money could be used on something more important.”
“What’s more important than your dream?”
“My dad’s back has been bugging him for years. His insurance doesn’t cover the kind of surgery he needs and he’s in pain every day.”
“How much is the surgery?”
“Around fifty-K.”
“Can you move with five thousand?”
“If I was smart with it and lived frugally until I got a job…I guess.”
“But you’re not going to?”
He blinks long and hard. “I have to stick around to help while he’s recovering.”
“What was your plan for that when you thought you’d still be living at the manor?”
“Pay for help.”
“What about after he’s recovered? Will you move then?”
When he doesn’t respond, I have my answer. He was relying on that million dollars. And now, he’s stuck in Sea Haven, in this cell, probably forever.
Unless I can help. I don’t have a million dollars, but I have access to money. Less after Hide and Keep. But I’ve been spending money frivolously for years. Now I have something I want to invest in—Crue’s future…as well as my own. If he thinks there’s enough, and wants me to go with him, then I will. I’ll follow him for once. And we’ll create our own future. Together.