Chapter 34 Harper-Rayn #2
She hands me the phone back, and I hesitate as I swipe my thumb across the screen, not sure I want to know what he has to say anymore. But when it comes to Knight Slater, I’m a sucker for punishment.
I don’t bother responding. All it’s going to do is work me up, and soon enough, I’ll end up hidden beneath these blankets with my heart torn to pieces. And honestly, over these last few weeks, I’ve never felt so weak in my life. It’s time to pull myself back together.
Izzy and I talk shit for the rest of the afternoon, until it’s time for her Tinder date, and the moment she’s gone, I can’t help but think about everything Knight had said about my stalker.
He’s wrong. It’s not in my head. I felt his fingers inside of me, felt the tip of his blade cutting through my skin, felt the way his cock reached the back of my throat.
Nobody can just imagine all of that, and while I want nothing to do with Knight right now, I feel as though I need to prove this man exists. I need Knight to believe me.
My head falls into my hands, having absolutely no idea how I’m supposed to prove that, but then I remember he had Laith’s phone.
If I could somehow draw him out, I could record him or maybe have Knight come and do some SWAT man ambush, but how?
My stalker has been ten steps ahead of me this whole time.
I’m his pawn to move around the board as he sees fit.
But I need to try. I need to see this through.
But more than that, I need to have Knight’s faith.
Taking my phone again, I pull up the text chain I had with Laith, my hands already shaking. I have no idea what I’m supposed to say or how this is even going to go, and I write out a few things before immediately deleting them.
Why is this making me feel so sick?
I stew on it for an hour before finally ripping it off like a Band-Aid and hitting send.
It’s not even a good message. Bland as plain rice on a dry piece of toast, and I immediately hate myself. What kind of bullshit message is that anyway? That’s not going to help draw the fucker out.
My phone dings almost immediately, and my gaze snaps back to the screen. My heart races, but there it is, his response. This will prove once and for all that he’s as real as they get.
My fingers shake as I text him back.
A knock sounds at my door and my head snaps up, my eyes going wide.
Holy fucking shit.
He’s here.
I sit straight up in my bed, panic storming through my chest.
I definitely didn’t think this through. What am I supposed to say to him?
Excuse me, thy fucked-up stalker man. Before you attempt to take every last shred of dignity away from me, would you mind whipping off the creepy vampire mask and flashing me a pearly white smile for the camera so that my totally sexy step-uncle who hath broken thine heart can see that you are indeed not my imaginary sex slave. Mmmkay, thanks.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I sit on the edge of my bed, my eyes wide as I stare toward my bedroom door, not knowing what to do or how to even talk to this man.
The last time I saw him, and I mean really saw him, was in Knight’s bedroom with my ankles and wrists bound.
And even now, almost a week later, I still don’t know what to make of that.
There’s not a single doubt in my head that he had come with the intention to end my life, and yet for whatever twisted, unknown reason to me, he decided to spare me.
Which only leaves me wondering why the fuck he went out of his way to save me after finding me in that alley.
If he truly didn’t care for my life, he would have left me to die, but he drove me to the hospital like a mad man and even called Knight to make sure I had someone sitting with me when I woke up.
None of this shit is making sense.
A knock sounds again, and this time it’s followed by a pissed-off growl, the tone so familiar it makes my heart sink. “Harper-Rayn, I know you’re in there. Open this goddamn door before I bust it down.”
Fuck. It’s Knight.
Knowing damn well that he would follow through on his threat to annihilate my door, I carefully pull myself to my feet, holding my breath as though that could somehow save me from the pain of moving around.
“If I wanted to see you, I would have asked,” I call toward the door. “Go away.”
“Over my dead fucking body,” he says. “Door. Now.”
I grit my teeth and brace my hand against the wall, using it as a support as I make my way through my apartment.
There’s nothing I want less than to have to deal with Knight right now, especially after the text I just sent him, which is clearly why he’s here letting my whole apartment complex know my business.
Honestly, I think I’d prefer to deal with my stalker instead.
At least I generally know what I’m going to get with him.
He’ll storm in, make some bullshit comments about rules to a stupid game I never agreed to play, and then try to fuck me in some way.
With Knight, I have no damn clue. All I know is that after he told me that he thinks it’s all in my head, I have feared having any type of conversation with him.
He led me straight into his trap, drawing me in with that wicked grin and those sparkly eyes, promising me safety and a warm bed to crawl into.
And along the way, something shifted. He wasn’t just the forbidden fruit dangling in front of me, daring me to get on my knees, he became so much more.
Am I in love with him? I don’t really know, but what I do know is that he holds the power to destroy me and that terrifies me more than any stalker could.
It takes me a lifetime to reach my front door and it doesn’t go unnoticed how despite his threat to bust down the door, he’s actually extremely patient with me, not wanting to rush me.
I step right up to my door, placing my hand against the wood as though I could somehow feel him on the other side and when I peer through the small peep hole, I find him there, his hands braced against the door frame and his head down.
“Are you done watching me through that damn hole or are you going to open the door?”
Fucking bossy asshole.
Letting out a nervous breath, I inch away from the door, just enough to unlock all the bolts and chains, and when I finally reach for the handle and slowly open the door, everything in me breaks.
I’m struck with the overwhelming need to crumble to the floor and sob, but I hold on to the tears, not wanting Knight to see just how much power he holds over me.
He stands before me, those dark, captivating eyes raking over my body, scanning me from head to toe and looking over every last bruise that mars my skin, checking how they’re healing. “You shouldn’t be here,” I tell him.
He steps into me and I immediately back up, needing that space between us, and within seconds, he’s standing inside my apartment, my back against the wall and his body barely a breath away.
He stares at me as if having no fucking idea what he’s actually come to say. “You need to leave,” I say, my voice shaky as my resolve begins to break down.
His gaze lingers on mine and I see nothing but heartbreak reflected in his stormy gaze.
“You really think that I wouldn’t catch you if you were to fall?
” he asks, looking at me as though I somehow hold the power to bring him to his knees.
“I’ve been there, Harper. Every step of the fucking way.
I’ve caught you every damn time. When you showed up at my door, I’ve been there.
I’ve held you through the night. I’ve bandaged your wounds.
How can you accuse me of not having your back? ”
I lift my hand, placing it against his racing heart as the very touch ignites a fiery blaze between us, something that’s always been there, lying dormant until we touch. “Do you still believe that I’m making this all up? That all of this bullshit is just a figment of my imagination?”
I see the very moment his heart shatters, and when he regretfully nods, my heart shatters right along with his. “I would never lie to you, Harper, and I’m not going to start now in order to protect your feelings. Just give me a chance to explain everything so you’ll understand.”
The tears I’d worked so hard to hold back begin welling in my eyes, and I shake my head, his words hurting more than the fists that pummeled my bare skin.
“Holy shit,” I breathe, gently pushing him away from me, his insistence to stand anywhere but in my corner killing me, just as I knew he would. “So this is what it feels like.”
“What what feels like?”
“What it feels like to be vulnerable with someone, to trust them and let them hold your heart in the palm of their hands, only to stand by helplessly and watch as they destroy it.”
“Doll . . .”
I shake my head, hastily wiping the tears as they roll down my cheeks before reaching for the door and opening it wide.
“Please go,” I say, my voice shaking as my knees threaten to give out.
His inability to understand and believe me is the most agonizing betrayal I’ve ever felt. “You and me, this is over now.”
He watches me with that same agony reflected in his haunting stare, and when he steps back into me and gently drops his lips to my cheek, I want to crumble.
“I’ll leave, doll. I’ll give you your space, but let’s get one thing straight.
You and me, this is far from over,” he tells me, shifting toward the open door and giving me just a moment to breathe.
“You can’t just turn this off like we never existed.
It’s too deep now. Your heart beats in tandem with mine, and no matter how much you want to deny it, you can’t.
Not anymore. I told you once before that if you’re going up in flames, that I’ll step right into the fire with you, and I meant that.
So when you’re ready, you call me, and I’ll be right here. ”
I can’t respond over the growing lump in my throat, and I simply watch as he turns away and strides right out my door.
I watch every step he takes, and the more distance he puts between us, the more the open wound right in the center of my chest begins to ache.
Then as he disappears out of sight, I fall to my knees, my body completely numb as my head falls into my hands and the tears begin streaming down my face.