17. Jax #2
My brother is probably going to kill me for risking it, but he’s the one who told me Myles was worth holding on to, so I’m just doing what he said.
“Because you’ve had so many chances to hurt me or do bad things to me, and you haven’t.
” He shrugs. “I guess I’d rather judge you on your actions instead of on some diagnosis or fear of what you could do.
” He gives the camera another lopsided smile.
“I’m pretty sure those guys who tried to kill me when I was on my run aren’t psychopaths, and neither are the dudes who blackmailed me into almost killing someone, but they still chose to do bad things. ”
“They did, and you’re right. The guys who attacked you are cowards who got exactly what they deserved, and the men who blackmailed you were a lifelong criminal and a narcissistic megalomaniac who didn’t get nearly what they deserved.”
His eyes widen, and he stares at me for a few beats. “You know about them?” he asks, his voice breathy and soft. “The men who blackmailed me?”
“I know about them.”
“Is that how I got on your radar?” He bites his bottom lip, like he’s trying to decide if he should say what he’s thinking. “Did you work with them and that’s why you started watching me?”
“They’re what put you on my radar, but I wasn’t working with them. In fact, I’m part of the reason they’re dead.”
The relief that washes over him is palpable. “You are?”
“Yes.” I pause for a beat to study him. “Does that scare you? Knowing I was involved in their deaths?”
“No.” He shoots the camera a wry smile. “I know it should, and I also know I’m going to need so much therapy when this is over—if I survive, of course—but I’m not scared of you.” He huffs out a soft laugh. “In fact, I actually like knowing that you were involved.”
“What if I was the one who actually did it? Would you still like knowing that?”
He nods and kicks his feet gently. “Yup. I’m not an idiot, even if I act like one most of the time.
I know you’re capable of killing someone.
I watched you beat the fuck out of three guys like it was a game.
You could have easily taken them out with only a few hits, but you beat them to a pulp and threw that knife like some sort of super spy because it was fun.
” He tilts his head to the side and studies the camera.
“Maybe not fun, but you drew it out on purpose. Am I wrong?”
“You’re not wrong.” I can’t stop my smile. “And you’re also not wrong that one of the reasons I dragged it out was because I enjoyed taking my time with them.”
“What was the other reason?”
“I wanted them to suffer for daring to touch you.”
His quick intake of breath and the flare of heat in his eyes tell me just how much he likes that idea.
Possessive desire snakes through me as he licks his bottom lip in a way that isn’t meant to be sexual but still makes my dick throb.
“You did?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes.”
“Why?” He pulls his legs up again and sits cross-legged on the bed. “Why did you care if they did anything to me?”
“Because I find you interesting.”
It doesn’t escape me that we started this conversation because he said he needed to talk about something, and most of what’s been said so far has been about me, but I don’t mind.
I know almost everything about Myles, both from observing him and my research, but he knows next to nothing about me. If he’s willing to trust me, then I can at least give him a little quid pro quo and answer his questions.
“Interesting?” He snickers. “That sounds about as flattering as when someone says you have a great personality.”
I laugh. “True, but when I say you’re interesting, I mean it in a different way. Do you know how many people I’ve found interesting in my entire life?”
He shoots the camera a confused look. “I don’t know. Lots?”
“You.”
His eyes widen again, and his jaw actually drops.
I chuckle at how much more visceral his reaction is to me telling him that he’s the only person I’ve found interesting than when I told him I’m a psychopath.
“You’re shitting me, right?” He blinks like a confused owl. “How is that possible? I’m just…me.”
“I’m not shitting you,” I say. “And I have no idea how it’s possible. I always assumed it wasn’t, then I started observing you, and that changed.”
“Wow.” He uncrosses his legs and lets them hang over the bed again as his posture relaxes. “That’s…I have no idea what to say to that.”
“There’s nothing to say. It’s just a fact.”
“So the whole hide and seek thing and all the stuff we’ve done…” He drops his eyes to the floor. “That’s like, your thing?”
“Define what you mean by thing.”
He wets his lower lip with his tongue nervously. “Do you do it a lot with people?”
“No.”
He relaxes slightly, but I can tell he wants to know more.
“I’ve never done anything like that before you challenged me,” I say, and it doesn’t escape me that I’m telling him this unprompted.
“I’ve wanted to, but never saw the point because there was no one worth doing it with.
Not until you put that message in your window.
And I knew you were different when you didn’t run right back into Boone House when I told you exactly what you were inviting. ”