Chapter 12 #2
Two hours later, Georgina and I walk back into the main living space, my stomach churning with anxiety about the boys’ reaction to my new style.
She wasn’t kidding when she claimed she had everything necessary in her bag of tricks.
I have new piercings on the exposed ear; she said it was the only place she would do so close to me having surgery because of the risk of infection.
Then gave me a temporary tattoo on my neck that looks incredibly real and put in contacts that turned my eyes brown.
She glued on thick fake lashes and showed me how to apply the make-up heavier than I’m used to around my eyes and paint my lips ruby red just like hers.
I look like a biker chick, and I can’t believe how much I love it.
When we walk in the room, the chatter among the boys falls silent. Jagger drops the pen he was holding, his jaw nearly hitting the floor in a way that makes him look like a cartoon character.
I stare back at them, waiting for one of them to say something. Anything to ease the churning. Do they hate it? Do I even care if they do? It shouldn’t matter. I take a step back, wanting to run back to my room to hide.
“This is unheard of. They’re all speechless.” Georgina laughs, hitting the side of my arm. “I guess my job is done, girl.”
Cruz is the first to move toward me, walking around me as he inspects every inch. “Not a little princess anymore.”
“Can I get away with it?” I whisper, feeling like an imposter. Will everyone be able to see me and know who I really am?
“Perfect, Georgina. Exactly what I wanted,” Jagger declares as he walks toward me, like this was all his idea. The asshole didn’t even know I cut all my hair off, so how can he lay claim to this?
I glare at him as if to say as much. I also haven’t forgiven him for leaving me hanging last night.
Asher keeps his distance, his eyes like a hawk, watching me from afar. The wounded look on his pretty face makes me feel sick to the stomach. I really hurt him. I wish I could take back those words and just go back to him groveling. It was a lot easier when I was the one pissed.
“I’ll walk you out,” Jagger says to Georgina, placing a hand to her back.
“Nice to meet you, Dahlia.” Georgina smiles at me and offers a wave.
“You too, thanks for all of this.” I grin back, wanting to say and the history lesson about the boys, but refrain.
“Anytime, girl. Maybe next time the boys will bring you into the salon.” She smirks their way. “Bye, boys, try and behave, will you.” They say their goodbyes and then Jagger walks her to the front of the house, his face softer than usual. Even he adores her, and I can see why.
Cruz stands in front of me, his eyes meeting mine. “Is it really you in there, little darlin’, or have you run away and got a body double to step into your place?” His voice is light and playful.
“Cruz.” I huff out a breath as I roll my eyes, knowing I don’t have time for his games right now. I need to fix things with Ash.
He looks back over his shoulder at Asher. “Yeah, she’s still in there.” He chuckles.
I move into the kitchen where Ash is sitting at the island, still keeping my distance from him, but close enough I can feel the tension coming off him. “What do you think, Ash?” I ask, trying to get something out of him. Anything.
Asher shoves his stool away, the legs screeching against the floor before it topples over as he stands and walks off in silence.
Fuck. I go after him. “Can we talk?”
“I have nothing to say to you,” he growls.
I flinch back. Damn, that’s harsh for him. I reach for him, taking his hand in mine. “Please,” I whisper, not sure what else to do.
He flicks his eyes back to me. They scan my face. “You look the part.”
I offer a soft smile back at him, hoping it will warm him up a little. “Ash, I’m so sorry for what I said. It was stupid.”
He doesn’t look directly in my eyes, not like normal. He has an icy stare that washes over me. “It was what you thought. That’s how you see me, good for fucking, nothing else.”
My heart sinks. Oh, fuck, he’s really taken this to heart. “No, it’s not.”
He pulls out of my grip as if I have burned him and keeps striding toward the gym.
I glance back at Cruz, and he motions for me to follow Ash.
But I’m not so sure I should. It’s like being locked up in this safe house together is amplifying everyone’s emotions or something, and I’m not sure how to handle it.
Asher is normally so cool about everything; I never expected my comment to cut him so deep.
The gym door slams, and I flinch.
Cruz’s hands come to my hips, his lips to my neck where the flower tattoo now is. “He’s hurting, baby, you need to make it better.”
“Yeah, I screwed up.” I spin in Cruz’s arms, getting an idea. “Would whisky and ice cream fix this?”
His lips twist at the sides. “You can try, probably wouldn’t make it worse.”
I pull out of his grip and move into the kitchen. “I wish you lot came with a user manual. It would make shit like this a lot easier,” I mutter almost to myself.
Cruz bursts out laughing. “Right back at you, baby.”
That earns him a glare from me as I place the ice cream tub on the counter. “I’m easy to read,” I huff.
Cruz pulls two bowls from the cupboard and places them on the counter, his arms wrapping around me. “You, my little darlin’, are more complicated than anyone else I know.” He kisses my cheek.
His comment sinks beneath my skin. Is he right and I’m the one making this situation hard?
I don’t think I am. They keep on bossing me around and expecting me to keep up with them when I don’t know what’s going on half the time.
But then they tell me exactly how they feel about me, and I shut them down or push them away with a flyaway comment.
Maybe I am the problem. I sigh heavily as I scoop the ice cream into the two bowls.
I know I have issues when it comes to the mushy stuff.
I spent so damn long trying to protect myself, it’s ingrained deep.
How can I protect myself and not get hurt here if I let myself fall for them?
I can’t. “He told you what he said to me, didn’t he? ”
Cruz moves to lean into the counter so we’re facing each other. “Asher has never done this before. He’s not used to rejection. He’s better at being the one to, you know, get them to move on.”
“I didn’t reject him,” I whisper.
Cruz raises his brow as if he begs to differ.
My heart hammers against my rib cage. I’m such a bitch. “I wasn’t trying to reject him. I just…”
“Won’t let yourself fall for us,” he finishes my sentence for me.
Our eyes lock, a seriousness washing over him I don’t like. “I can’t.”
His hand moves to my neck, and he tilts my head back just a little. “You won’t. There is a big difference.”
In this moment, the shitshow I have with Jagger seems like a walk in the park.
At least I know he doesn’t want me to fall for him.
He wants emotional distance between us. For him it’s all about control, rules, and orgasms. Simple compared to his brothers.
My eyes find Cruz’s, and my heart flutters because I know I can’t deny the way I’m falling for them much longer.
I sigh heavily, wishing I could explain so they would understand me.
“I made a promise to myself a long time ago, and it’s stood me well through all the shit I’ve been through. ”
“Break it. I can promise you we’re worth it.” His lips meet mine in a bruising kiss. When he pulls back, his teeth tug on my lip, nipping me. He looks at me like I’m his whole world and I don’t get it, but I do feel it all the way through to my soul.
This shouldn’t be so natural, but it is. If I want to admit to it or not, I’m connected to them. I keep staring at him, not sure what to say.
When I don’t respond, he moves to the butler’s pantry.
I take the sound of solitude to catch my breath. They’re going to be the death of me, I already know it.
Cruz brings back a bottle of whiskey and opens the top, pouring it over one of the bowls.
I cover the second with my hand. “Not mine. I can’t drink with the pain meds I’m on.”
“I’ll drink yours for you.” He takes a swig from the bottle with a cheeky grin.
“You do that.” I take up the bowls and walk toward the gym, my heart in my throat because I have no clue what to say to Asher. This dessert better work its magic and get me out of trouble, because it’s all I have.
“Where is she going? I need a photo for her new ID,” Jagger says from behind me. But I’m not turning back to do what he wants. There are more important matters right now.
“To mend Asher’s broken heart,” Cruz responds, sounding all dramatically romantic about it.
I can’t help but roll my eyes because this all feels so damn ridiculous.
How is this my life right now? For the last five years, the idea of love seemed like such a foreign concept.
I saw other happy couples together and thought it must all be an act.
Either that or they were just lucky and that would never be me.
But the nervous flutter inside of me tells me maybe I was wrong. Maybe this could be real.