39 – Our Sunshine Is A Super Dark Grey Cloud of Doom
Jessie
“I know you’re in there.”
“You know nothing,” I shout back, like a petulant child, at Addison through my apartment door. The apartment that smells like flowers and cinnamon apple pastry. Because that’s all I’ve been making since I bailed on my shift at the shop before I fell into my reading chair an hour ago.
“I’m just going to stand here until you open this door and let me in.” I snap the book I was not really reading closed and head for the door. Tearing it open, Addison stands there with a bottle of tequila in her hand and raises it.
“Drink?” I roll my eyes, but snatch the bottle and turn back into the apartment.
“Thought having that tall idiot you hang around with all the time meant you didn’t drink away your feelings anymore.” She rolls her eyes at me.
“This one time when that tall idiot was an ass, I had a complete rage spiral and some grumpy bastard inserted his nose into my business,” she prattles on as she follows behind, heading for the sofa in my living area. “He paid for a few shots of tequila, let me cry, and then we became besties after. Turns out it was just the healing I needed. Or the start of it.” Again, I’m rolling my eyes because I know what she is referring to. Back then, though, I was just trying to get to the bottom of her and Noah. Trying to work out whether I needed to kill him or help him.
“You’re reading The Notebook ?” she sounds shocked, but I ignore the question.
Snagging two whiskey glasses from the cupboard above the stove, I drop a couple fingers of tequila into them and take them down to meet Addy on the sofa.
“So, what do you want?” I ask, sipping the drink and letting it burn its way down my throat. She sits sideways on the couch, nursing the drink and narrowing her gaze at me.
“Casey and Rosie explained everything to me,” she says gently.
“You wrote a book? A good one?” That has me scoffing and throwing back the rest of the tequila. Should have brought the bottle down.
“Sure.” I nod, not meeting her eyes.
“And Casey stole the manuscript from you?” The confirmation of the betrayal stings now that it’s spoken out loud. I felt such severe rage this morning I had to leave. I was going to say or do something that I was going to regret, that was going to blow back up in my face. Even now, I am barely back to simmering. At least that much I knew Addison would understand.
“She did.”
“And you’re mad?”
“Livid.” I look up to her and she must see it there. She nods and downs the rest of her drink.
“So, what are you doing about it?”
“What the fuck do you want me to say right now, Addison?” I stand and steal her glass, going to pour us both another one. I’m not nearly drunk enough for this conversation.
“Well, I’m going out with her tonight. She is going to ask me a hundred million questions because you’re ignoring her texts and phone calls. So I need to know how to handle this.” The reminder of Casey being out has me putting the bottle of tequila down. I want to be sober enough to pick her up, meet her there, or, I don’t fucking know, just be sober in case she needs me.
“It’s none of your business,” I say under my breath and come to sit back on the sofa with glasses of water instead.
“But it is. I need to know whether I try to protect her heart or help her give up? Do I make sure she holds on so you have a fucking girlfriend when your rage lets go of you? I need to know how to help you. She’s my best friend, but you’re my brother. Tell me what you need.” Her voice doesn’t skip, doesn’t falter or strain. Pure power, assuredness, and strength radiate from her, and I have never been prouder of my little rogue.
“I appreciate it, Addison, really.” I look up to her and let her see my genuine gratitude, but clarify, “You don’t need to do anything. I’m just here to simmer. I’ll be at Bozzelli’s for her birthday, and I’ll be there to take her home.” She releases a huge breath and falls to the back of the couch.
“Oh, thank god.” She sighs.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I feel the tightness in my chest release slightly at the small smile she pastes on her face.
“Well, you’re mad, but you’re not like ‘we’re breaking up’ kind of mad.”
“Fuck no.” Breaking up with Casey? I almost laugh at the absurdity.
“That’s good. Except if you’re going to make this work with her, you’re going to have to find a way to exist in the madness without running away. She is a fucking mess right now, Jessie. I’ve never seen her like this. She is our sunshine person, and right now, she is like one of those super stormy dark gray clouds of doom.” Her eyes grow wider and more sad as she explains. Pain and frustration pin me right in the chest. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to hurt her or make her feel pain. I just couldn’t explode and let it go right there. I was worried I’d do even more damage. But I can’t cut Casey out of my heart just like that, not even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. Casey is still very much mine. I just needed to breathe for a moment. I knew it was going to be our first fight, and I didn’t want to lose my cool and risk blowing up the best thing in my life.
“I had to run. I couldn’t explode right there in front of her. She doesn’t need to see that.” Addison nods. If anyone understands, it’s her. But it’s the way she smirks knowingly at me.
“You know what being with Noah has taught me? That the right people aren’t scared by our intensity, they just love us more because of it. Casey is the right person, Jessie, and I know you know that. Give her a chance to not be scared and to show you how you should have been loved. She’ll do it properly.” I know. I know all of this already. But it’s easier said than done.
“Oh, and do me a favor and stop fucking ignoring her, you jerk. I know she fucked up, but c’mon, don’t make her sweat like this.” She slaps my knee and stands.
“You know what she did for you today. You at least owe her a thank you text.”
“What did she do today?” That has me standing to match Addison’s pace to the door, my stomach dropping.
Addison spins on me, pinning me with an assessing look before shock and something else hit her face and she giggles.
“You fucking dick head, she ran your café for you because you bailed on your launch day!” She what?!
My mouth does something that mimics a fish out of water as I try to understand what Addison just said. “I… I—”
“April is basically a child, and you just left her in charge of your business on a major milestone day?! Are you that much of an idiot?” Her words are venomous, but light, as she smiles and laughs at my expense. I think on some level she knew I hadn’t thought it through, hadn’t been capable of thinking much through. I run a frustrated hand down my face, reprimanding myself for being such a colossal moron.
“I didn’t bail on the launch.” I sigh heavily, and she levels me with a knowing look. “Well, I didn’t completely bail. I was watching it from home.” I point to the laptop on my coffee table. Addison looks at it and shrugs her shoulders, finding me again.
“Well, she went looking for you about half an hour after you skipped out, according to Rosie. She only got back to the apartment after I left to come here.” My head snaps to the clock hanging near my fridge. Six hours. Casey went and worked in my fucking shop for six fucking hours?!
I really don’t deserve this woman.
I look back to Addison, and she is barely containing her laughter at my confusion and anger, the way the emotions are fighting each other.
“So you know,” she continues, “Rosie and I plan on getting Casey extremely drunk. She plans on wearing a tiny scrap of material us women call a dress. Those long legs will be on display, her tits will be pushed up to her eye sockets, and would you look at that,” she gestures out the window, “it’s snowing. She’ll be cold, might need a big, strong man to wrap her up and make sure she is warm.” She is doing nothing for my rage levels as she continues to taunt me, my fists balled by my sides. “I wonder if there will be enough men at Bozzelli’s to take one for the team and get Casey all warmed up.” She winks at me, opening my apartment door to leave.
“Rosie does the teasing better,” I throw at her before the door slams behind her. “And you keep those fuckers away until I get there!” I shout louder, to make sure she hears me.
“Don’t be late, then, or I’ll tell Rosie she is single and needs a rebound!” she shouts back.
Dammit.
Like fuck was I going to be late. I ripped my clothes off and headed to the shower. I really needed to blow off some steam and then go fix this shit with my woman.