17. Jaxson
17
Jaxson
“ S ay hey to your godfather, Deaccan,” Jessie says to her son as she bounces him in her lap over our video call.
Deaccan’s disposition is a stark contrast to the one he had just a few weeks ago when he was red-faced and screaming from hunger. Now, he’s wide-eyed, curious, and starting to smile. An easy baby, according to Jessie.
“He’s gotten so big seemingly overnight,” I comment.
“Well, it wouldn’t seem that way if you hadn’t gone and disappeared to Macon, Georgia of all places,” Jessie comments.
I make a noncommittal sound and give in to Nala’s demands for her attention by looking down at her wide innocent eyes as I scratch her in her favorite spot. Between her neck and shoulders.
“Finally got that cat you always wanted,” Jessie says with a smile.
“I’ve never wanted a cat,” I deny.
“Where’d you find her?”
“While I was taking care of some business in the city,” I answer vaguely.
“And you’re not going to tell me what that business is that you’ve been up to for the last month?” Jessie asks .
“I told you. The Supreme Force told me that this would be a good place to start another altar, and I’m doing the ground work,” I state.
“It told you Macon, Georgia. Not some place like Atlanta?” Jessie asks.
“Yes,” I say with a straight face.
“Sure. I absolutely believe that,” Jessie drones. Then her face becomes solemn and serious. “You haven’t gotten into any trouble with the Oracle, right? You’re not instigating any trouble or anything. Right?”
“Of course, I’m not. You know I wouldn’t do anything so blatant.” Then, because Jessie usually isn’t concerned about me starting trouble, I ask, “What have you heard?”
“Nothing. Nothing. Just the normal stuff. From Magdalene.”
That catches my attention.
“Magdalene?”
It’s no secret between Jessie and I that I can’t stand Magdalene, and she can’t stand me. All three of us were thick as thieves back when we were children, after Candace literally picked Magdalene up off a street corner one night when she was thirteen and took her in. Would have adopted her if not for the Sovereignty rules about single women when it came to things like that. And since my sister brought her home, we’ve been at each other’s throats like extremely hostile siblings ever since.
Maybe I would have grown out my hostility toward her if not for her clear blind devotion to my father. It incenses me more than that kind of devotion to him and his bullshit usually does. Not because I’m intimidated by her. But because she can be so much more. She’s got three degrees, has traveled all over the world, studied at the best universities and speaks four languages, but can’t see through the fucking bullshit. That benefits me, of course, but it's still annoying to see her grovel the way she does. To see someone so intelligent be so dumb. A bunch of wasted intelligence and potential. And if there’s anything I despise, it’s wasted intelligence and potential.
“There’s a rumor,” Jessie finally says, “that your father is looking for another conduit. A female one.”
“He’s considering Magdalene?” I conclude.
“That’s what she says.”
“Then I suppose I better pray she doesn’t have a boy,” I say because it’s quite clear what’s going on.
My father wants a new child to declare as an heir, clearly not satisfied with the ones that he already has. I’ll have to get details from one of my spies. Maybe he said something about it around Abner. Hopefully, it was just an offhand comment. If not…. Well… it’s a lot harder to get rid of your competition when your competition is a baby. If the Oracle conditions the Sovereignty to think that child is somehow more special and pure, the kid could commit blasphemy and no one would blink an eye.
“Jaxson,” Jessie sighs.
Whether at my comment or because she knows what I’m thinking, I don’t care to know. So I move on from the subject.
“Do you have enough formula? Do I need to send anymore?” I ask.
“I’ve got so much I’m probably going to have to give it away,” she replies with a smile. “ Thanks.”
I nod as my other phone lights up with a call from the men I have tailing Lauressa. Last I checked, she was in her apartment working on her computer.
“Let me know if anything happens up there,” I say.
“You know I always will,” she assures.
I end the call to answer my men.
“What?” I ask.
“It’s the girl,” the man says. “She’s on the move.” Before I can ask why they needed to call to let me know that, he says, “She’s headed to the estate.”
I don’t answer, half tempted to ask the man to repeat what he’s said. But I know I heard right the first time. He said that Lauressa is headed here.
“Are you sure?”
“She stopped to get coffee. When she came out, she saw our car, knocked on our window, and asked if we please wouldn’t do something like cause an accident on her way to you, and if we could be “a dear” and call ahead to let her through the gates so she doesn’t have to wait since she’s running on no sleep in almost thirty-six hours,” he says.
I have to stop breathing to keep myself from letting out a snort of laughter. Of course, Snow White figured out how to find me. Of course she wouldn’t just lay back and take my harassment despite how dangerous I’ve proven myself to be to her and others. If she was the type of woman who would back down that easily, I wouldn’t be so enamored with her and determined to convert her in the first place.
“How long do I have?”
“She’s about five minutes out. Girl’s a goddamn speed demon. I think if she were actually trying to lose us, she would.”
No doubt about that. I’m sure there’s nothing that Snow White can’t do if she puts her mind to it. Except stop me, of course. The only thing stopping her accomplishing anything else she wants is her selflessness.
“Bring her to my office when you get here,” I order, hanging up the phone.
I pick up Nala from my lap and stand. She glares at me for disturbing her.
“Sorry. But Lauressa is coming, and I don’t want to reunite you yet. Okay?” I say, planting a kiss on the top of her head.
I take Nala to her room and place her on the mini canopy bed I brought her. Then I check to make sure she has food and water and that the maid cleaned the litter box before closing the door behind me when I leave.
Just seconds after I return to my office, Lauressa is storming inside with the black tablet I left on her dining table in hand. Her dark hair is in a disheveled bun held in place at the back of her head with a hair claw. Her red lips are pale from the cold. She’s wearing a pair of gray baggy sweatpants with a matching sweatshirt and a jacket over it because she’s Georgia bred and twenty-nine degrees is cold to her. However, her warm clothes are a stark contrast to the house shoes on her feet.
Somehow, she still manages to look ravishing.
“Lauressa. What an unexpected but pleasant surprise. ”
“It’s Res, you asshole,” she says while flinging the tablet at me like a projectile.
I catch it in midair before it can hit me and calmly set it on my desk as she continues to shout at me.
“You fucking deranged fucking madman. What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fucking fuck?”
“Language,” I say reflexively.
“Fuck my language!” she snaps. “Don’t act like you didn’t know I was coming. I know your men told you.”
“They did,” I respond. “And I have to say that I hope you exercise more caution in your day-to-day life than this little stunt demonstrates. Otherwise I’ll have to increase the surveillance on you because you can’t be trusted to take reasonable precautions to protect yourself.”
“What the fuck?”
Lauressa is using this vile language to poke at my temper. She’s not nearly as vulgar in her day-to-day life from my observations.
She continues, “You, my fucking stalker. My assaulter. The man who wants to convert me to his bullshit cult to be his little trophy wife or whatever the fuck you want. Telling me I don’t take precautions to protect myself?”
“Snow White,” I begin dully, “you tracked down the deranged madman who is stalking you and assaulted you. Your own words, by the way. And you didn’t tell anyone where you were going. You’re intelligent. You can’t tell me those are the actions of a person who takes reasonable precautions to protect themselves. ”
Lauressa opens and closes her mouth a few times before gritting her teeth and snarling, “Don’t be condescending with me. You already know where I live. You’re already stalking me. You could have kidnapped me and taken me somewhere I couldn’t be found a long time ago.”
“I could have.”
“But you want me to take more precautions to protect myself from you?”
I smirk. “If only to prove that you know not to go tracking down someone stalking you that’s not me.”
“This isn’t funny! You tortured him!” she screams at me, hitting my chest.
“He might have been tortured by what I did, but my goal wasn’t to torture him. It was just the natural consequence of forcing him to make his atonement,” I explain.
“Atonement. Atonement!” she yells, hitting me in the chest again. “You yanked out all his teeth. Cut out his tongue. And then castrated him!”
“I cut out his tongue last. I wanted to hear him scream when I castrated him,” I correct.
“And for what? Because he was a little mean and upset that I was ignoring him? Because of some stupid words that don’t mean anything? I’m a big girl, Jax . With alligator hide! It was fine. Even if it wasn’t, the punishment exceeded the crime. You’ve ruined a man’s life.”
“At least I left him with a life. I could have killed him. I thought about it. I almost did,” I admit. It was a near miss. If I had let his mouth bleed out after I cut out his tongue, he would have died. I decided to be merciful and stuff his mouth with gauze instead.
“Saying mean words isn’t worth anyone’s life. I’m not worth anyone’s life!”
It’s that last sentence. It’s that self-deprecating statement that makes me go from mildly amused at Lauressa confronting me to almost blind with rage. To hear Lauressa talk about herself like that. To hear her say that she’s not worth someone’s life. Not only to hear her say that, but to hear that she means it. That she thinks so little of herself. Where did she get such an egregiously false idea? Who gave her that idea?
I grab her by the neck and slam her into the closed door of my office.
“Let me—” she cuts herself off, because she can’t breathe and talk at once with my hand around her neck like this. That’s the point, of course. So she can’t say anymore blasphemous things against herself.
“Don’t you ever let me hear you say that you aren’t worth anyone’s life,” I growl.
She tries to talk again. I choke the words out before they can leave her throat with a squeeze.
“You are worth it. You’re worth every goddamn life on this planet. Past and present. People don’t know how lucky they are to exist on the same earth at the same time while you breathe air. You understand me, Snow White? That’s how precious you are. That’s how much worth you have.”
I let go of her and she slides to the ground, not saying anything as she takes greedy lungfuls of air. But when she looks up at me with those pretty almond-shaped eyes of hers, I can tell she still doesn’t believe me. I can tell she wants to argue with me about her worth.
Someone told her she was worthless. Worse. Someone made her feel worthless. And it wasn’t just the deadbeat boyfriend who didn’t give a shit about her or any of the things she cared about. She had to have already felt that way if she allowed herself to stay with a man who thought of her that way. Someone programmed her to think that way about herself. I’m going to find out who it was if it’s the last thing I do and ruin them just like I ruined Zach. I have a feeling I know where to start.
But tracking down the people who made Lauressa think she was worthless is going to have to wait. So I make a mental note to look into it and then reach down to force Lauressa to her feet. Her hair falls out her bun with the force and the hair claw falls to the ground. I ignore it.
“What the fuck?” she snaps while I snatch my office door open.
“Quiet,” I snap back as I drag her to my room. One of these days, I’m going to dirty that pretty little mouth up myself since she likes to keep using such dirty words. But not today. Not yet.
Growing up in the Sovereignty, I was taught that a virtuous woman is more precious than rubies. The saying is heteronormative bullshit, and Lauressa isn’t virtuous by any of the Sovereignty’s definitions of what a virtuous woman is. Far from, and I’m glad of it. I also never thought in my wildest dreams that I’d meet a woman I could see that way .
But Lauressa? She is more precious than rubies. More precious than diamonds. More precious than any rare substance on this earth or in this universe.
I’m going to force her to know it.
I close the door behind me and go into the closet where there is a decorative black box with a silk ribbon tied on it. I was planning on saving this for a special occasion with Snow White, but I need it now.
I place the box on the bed.
Then I look at Lauressa, who is watching me with confused, wary eyes, and say, “Strip.”