Chapter 30
Thirty
Sloane
“Aren’t you clever. Look at you.”
Aspen proudly rolls over and reaches for her favorite toy. Of course, that toy is immediately shoved into her mouth, where everything goes these days. She seems mighty pleased with herself as she smiles wide.
“She’s as determined as her mother.”
I glance over at Thomas, who is beaming a smile at my daughter. He is totally enamored with her, and given he never experienced the joys of grandchildren, I’m more than happy to have him claim standing as her great-grandfather. Aspen is going to grow up with a big family.
We’re sitting out on the porch of the big house, enjoying a beautiful fall afternoon, and watching Alex working with a fearful horse in the corral. Her ability to communicate with these animals is something to behold.
Mom is inside with Ama, hanging out in the kitchen, and probably talking about me. It’s been a little over a week since she got here and—even though she hasn’t brought it up with me—I’m guessing she’s struggling to figure out what to do. She has a flight back home to Panama and Steve on Sunday, which is only four days away.
I know she’s worried about me in a variety of ways. Two weeks ago that would’ve annoyed, even upset me. As I sit here today, I understand, because I have some concerns myself.
What happened up on that mountain has given me cause for a lot of thought. My first response had been reactive and I’m grateful to Dan for talking me down off that ledge, but even five days later, I still believe perhaps this job is not the right one for me. At least not while Aspen is this young.
“I can hear the wheels turning from here,” Thomas observes. “I’ll be sittin’ in this chair until Ama tells me dinner is ready anyway, so you might as well talk to me.”
I hide my grin. I’ve always liked Jonas’s father, who is a straight shooter.
“Not even sure where to start. I came here about a month ago now, aiming to get my life together, and I’m not sure I’ve accomplished much of anything.”
“You mean, other than catch a serial killer?” the old man interrupts.
I open my mouth to point out that was at the very least a joint effort, but decide against it. His point is still valid.
“I guess there’s that,” I give him. “But the question is; should I even be trying to catch dangerous criminals if I don’t even have something as basic as a house or childcare organized for my daughter?”
I turn to look at Aspen, who still seems happy enough on her play blanket with her toys.
“If I hadn’t been told to stay home until I’m completely cleared by the doctor, and would’ve missed her reaching for and grabbing that toy just now. I recently missed her rolling over for the first time and don’t want to miss these milestones in her life. I don’t want to have to make choices that don’t have her as a priority, and these past few weeks have shown that’s exactly what this job would require. But I can’t just quit my job.”
As much as I’ve mulled this over in the past few days, I feel I’ve not really gained any clarity. Dan has patiently listened, encouraging me to take my time to figure things out, but he hasn’t really given me much feedback, claiming it’s a decision I have to come to myself.
“Hmmm.” Thomas rocks his chair and rubs his chin. “Why can’t you?”
“Quit my job? Because it’s a great job, and I need an income.”
He nods. “Fair enough, but as I understand it, the sheriff’s department now has a position for a deputy they need to fill. Predictable shift hours so you can schedule care for the little one in advance. Maybe not the job you want, but a job you can handle right now. Doesn’t seem that complicated.”
Back to being a deputy?
I give a mental shrug. Why not?
It might’ve felt like giving up my dream not that long ago, but it’s amazing how quickly perceptions can change. The idea actually lifts a huge burden off my chest.
I turn my head at the sound of voices and catch Dan chatting with Alex outside the barn, but his eyes are fixed on me.
“That boy loves you,” Thomas states behind me.
“I know. The feeling is mutual.”
“Right, then you know neither you nor that little one of yours ever has to worry about a roof over your heads or food on the table.”
We make a good team. It’s what he said to me the morning we got home from the hospital, right before he told me he loved me.
Apparently, it’s that simple for these men; you take care of what and who you love.
The old man is right, it’s not that complicated, I just need to tackle things one at a time.
When I see Dan start coming this way, I get to my feet and turn to Thomas, bending over to kiss his cheek.
“Thank you.”
Thomas clears his throat as he waves me off.
Grinning, I crouch down to pick Aspen up off the floor and prop her on my hip, just as Dan comes up the porch steps.
He doesn’t even hesitate, hooks me behind the neck and lays a heavy one on me. After he lets me up for air, he reaches for Aspen, who greets him with a gummy smile. He props her on his arm and blows a raspberry in her neck.
“What’s the smile for?” he asks.
“I’m having a good day.”
He grins back at me. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Can you keep an eye on her while I make a few phone calls?”
A few minutes later, I sit down on the couch in my cabin, and dial the number I ended up saving in my phone.
“Did you change your mind?”
The smug tone of Jeff’s voice annoys me, and it’s tempting to tell him to go fuck himself, but that won’t do anyone any good. He can be an asshole all by himself.
Two days ago, Dan handed me a piece of paper with the name and number of a lawyer in Billings. Courtesy of his sister Lindsey and her mother, who provided the contact. According to Dan, the lawyer was waiting for my call, which I will follow up with as soon as I get Jeff’s agreement.
“As a matter of fact, I did,” I tell him. “I will pay you five thousand dollars…” I can hear him whoop it up, but keep talking right over him. “…on one condition; you give up your parental rights to Aspen.”
“Sorry, what?”
“You will be contacted by a lawyer in Billings in the next few days, who will have five thousand dollars and a document for you to sign. Once you place your signature, you will receive the money. And once that’s done, Jeff, I want you to lose my number.”
Ending that call feels pretty damn satisfying.
Next, I call the law office and set up a Zoom appointment for tomorrow morning to get the paperwork in order and transfer the money. My savings account is going to take a serious hit, leaving me little cushion, but I’ll build again. Or we will.
My final call is to Junior Ewing.
“I was about to call you,” he starts. “How are you doing?”
“I’m good.”
“You home?”
“Yes, why?”
“Because I’m pulling up to the ranch now.”
Not much later I’m sitting on the porch of the ranch house again, this time joined by Jonas and a few of the guys, listening to the sheriff giving us an update on the case. Aspen is on my lap with a bite ring in her mouth, still working on those bottom two teeth to come through.
“What are the fucking odds two sick bastards with the same violently perverse fantasies randomly meet doing something innocuous like playing baseball?” JD, who is leaning against one of the posts, questions.
“You’d be surprised. Maybe not playing baseball, but you have online interest groups for everything and anything under the sun. Many individuals don’t get further than fantasies, but put them in a group of like-minded perverts, and suddenly they feel powerful enough to act out on those fantasies,” Wolff supplies.
Ewing nods in agreement. “With Heany and Cedric, they each had a certain role to play. Even though it appears Heany was the brains of the operation, Cedric was the muscle responsible for kidnapping the girls. From what I understand, Cedric got off on the physical abuse of those girls, but for Heany the psychological torture was what motivated him. The control game. By his own admission, he never quite felt the same satisfaction after he’d killed Michael.”
“Did he ever explain why he killed him?” I probe, as Aspen starts to chew on my knuckle.
“His cousin. Shelby Vandermeer,” the sheriff states. “She was his obsession. He couldn’t have her, so he introduced her to Michael.”
“That way he could still control her,” I conclude. “So when he discovered Michael had been abusing her without his knowledge, it would’ve been the worst kind of betrayal.”
“Right. He could not handle the loss of control.”
A shiver runs down my spine when I think about how this all could’ve ended much differently.
When Ewing gets to his feet a few minutes later, I stand as well.
“Before you go, do you have a minute for me?”
“Sure.”
“I’ve got her,” Dan offers, plucking Aspen from my arms as he gives me an encouraging nod.
I haven’t had a chance to tell him what I’ve decided yet, but he makes it clear he’ll support whatever that might be.
I send him a grateful smile before following the sheriff down the steps.
Dan
“People are fucked up, man.”
Once again, I’m sitting on my new porch with Jackson, sipping a beer and downloading as we watch the sun go down.
Sloane is spending some time with her mother tonight, which she hasn’t done a whole lot of since Isobel got here. Her mother has decided to stick to her original plan to head back to Panama in four days. She indicated as much over dinner, citing she’d rather come back again in two months with her husband to celebrate Thanksgiving here.
It’ll be a big family gathering, too big for my dad’s place in Kalispell, but I’m thinking if I push hard we could do it right here.
I’ve just finished relaying what the sheriff’s visit revealed this afternoon, and Jackson reacts as expected.
“It never ceases to amaze me, the messed-up shit people do to each other,” he adds. “The dark crap we carry around inside, hidden from those around us. It’s ugly.”
I’m not sure at this point if we’re still talking about what happened here or whether he is referring to something I’m not privy to. But when I shoot him an inquiring look, he shakes his head. It’s my warning not to pursue, which I honor.
Instead, I steer the conversation to construction progress.
“How much longer do you figure before we can start putting up some drywall and insulation?”
“Plumbing is done for now, HVAC will be by the end of this week, and the electrician said he’ll need another five or six days to finalize the rough-ins. We should be able to follow behind room by room. In a hurry?” he asks.
I tell him about the plans for Thanksgiving.
“Lucky bastard. You go from a bachelor’s existence with no family to a fucking instant houseful, including a woman and a baby.”
I bend my head, grinning, as I pluck at the label on my beer bottle.
“Yeah, well…trust me, I never thought I’d be that guy.”
“You did once,” he reminds me.
“I know, and then I gave up on that dream.”
Jackson shakes his head. “Like I said, lucky bastard.”
We sit in silence as the sinking sun turns the sky a deep orange. A light rustle to the left draws my attention and I see the beautiful bull elk make an appearance. I can’t really be sure it’s the same one I’ve seen before or not, but I’d like to think it is.
“ Look, ” I alert Jackson on a whisper.
“I’ve seen him before, this time of night,” Jackson shares. “He likes to snack on that patch of grass along the riverbank.”
Sure enough, he bends his neck, lowering his large rack of antlers as he starts munching away. We watch for a while, until all of a sudden his head comes up, ears alert. He must’ve heard something, because the next moment he is gone again.
“I’d forgotten how beautiful it is here.”
I turn to Jackson, who is leaning forward, looking out at the darkening mountain range.
“Even living here, I forget sometimes,” I admit, before cautiously adding, “Have you thought about staying here permanently?”
“Mom wants me to, and Jonas offered me a spot on the team.” He snorts derisively. “Not sure what he thinks I can contribute.”
It’s on my lips to remind him there is plenty, but I hold back, because I realize it’s not so much about what others value in him, but in how he values himself.
Instead, I challenge him.
“Only one way to find out.”
“You’re an asshole,” he mumbles, throwing me a dirty look.
“Water off my back, my friend,” I tell him as I get to my feet.
I gather up the empties and drop them in the case we left just inside the house. Jackson follows me down the porch steps to my truck.
“Maybe on the weekend we can sneak off for a short ride,” he suggests when I get behind the wheel.
As far as I know, he hasn’t yet been back in the saddle, so this feels like a huge step. I hold back on the fist pump though, I’m sure he doesn’t want to turn this into a big deal.
“Sure. You can take Will. I’ll grab Blitz, he’s due for some exercise.”
He nods and lifts his hand as he walks over to the motorhome.
I’m grinning when I drive off, feeling pretty damn pleased with myself.
Tonight my friend is showing signs of coming back to life, and Saturday we’re hitting the trails, something I wasn’t sure we’d ever get to do again.
In addition, I only have four more days to wait before I can either move into Sloane’s bed, or have her move into mine. Then two more months to finish up the new place and get us permanently situated and ready to start our life together.
Fuck , I can’t wait.