Chapter 2
Claire
The massive ships are getting closer as my brother drives me to the port and reality is setting in.
I’m really about to get on a floating city and find my pack. At least I hope so. At the minimum I’m running away from my problems back home.
Out in the middle of the ocean, I’m going to find my pack, I just know it.
This isn’t casual for me. I’m going to find a pack that wants me for me.
Maybe this is an extreme way to get what I want, but this cruise is an even playing field. There won’t be Alphas panting around me because of my last name or trust fund. I’m going into this adventure being completely me and not accepting anything less than a true connection.
It might not make sense to anyone else, but I’m betting a whole fucking lot on this heat cruise, and I’m not turning back now.
“You sure you want to go through with this?” my brother, Axel, asks from the driver’s seat.
I might have bribed him into dropping me off.
I may also have enlisted the help of my new sister-in-law by having her host our parents in Philly for the weekend while I made my great escape.
I just didn’t want to deal with them trying to talk me out of my plan.
They’ve kept me wrapped in steel wool my whole life, trying to protect me from anything the world might throw at me.
I wouldn’t put it past at least one of my dads to try and lock me away in a tower so I missed my boarding time.
They were under the impression I’d be utilizing the Heat Haven facility in Manhattan, as a fail safe if I didn’t meet a pack and needed my heat serviced. It was how I excused having so many appointments. In reality, I was attending seminars and pheromone testing in preparation for the heat cruise.
It wasn’t my fault they didn’t ask for clarification, and I’m almost positive the second I get on this ship Axel is going to call them and snitch. But I’m an adult woman, one who’s going to go into heat any moment now. It was time to cut the cord and go off on my own.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I say, staring out the window.
I’ve spent months planning this trip, and okay, maybe I feel like my stomach is going to fall out of my ass as the port gets closer, but I’m not changing my mind.
“Didn’t you throw up the entire time we were on the yacht in Greece?”
“I was like eight,” I complain and he laughs.
“It’s not too late to turn around. We can drive back to the apartment, and I can unload the obscene amount of shit you packed. What about Elliot?” he asks, which has me snapping my head in his direction.
“Claire, anyone with fucking eyes knows you’re obsessed with him,” he says when I don’t reply.
I was obsessed with him, but now when I think of him my heart aches. He doesn’t want me and I won’t accept anything less than pure devotion. The sting of the words still hits their mark though; I’m not completely over him or what happened a few months ago.
That’s why I need this cruise. It feels like it’s my last life line.
“I’m not obsessed with him. Plus, I’m not like mom. I’m not going to wait around for a man to realize he wants me. He’s made it absolutely clear he’s not interested. I deserve more than that.”
As I say the words, there’s a lingering hurt that I can’t seem to shake. If Elliot had ever given me an inkling that he felt the same way about me, I wouldn’t be getting on this ship. But he all but said he didn’t want me, so it doesn’t matter.
I can only imagine my future as being a pack Omega with multiple partners who love me and hopefully one another. Maybe I dreamed about Elliot being in my future pack scenario, but it was time to face the harsh reality that he didn’t want that, he didn’t want me.
It’s time to put him in the past and stop comparing every man to him.
Even though he has the traits that I’m looking for, kind, attentive, funny in a dry sort of way, and loyal to the people he cares about.
I groan at myself for thinking about him.
This cruise is supposed to help get him out of my system, and finally open my heart to other Alphas.
Elliot Smith needs to be a thing of the past and that’s that. From here on out I’m only looking toward the future and finding the right pack for me.
I’m not delusional enough to think I’ll be one of the lucky ones who gets to go through their first heat with their pack, but a girl can dream.
“You can change your mind, I won’t judge you,” Axel says, interrupting my thoughts and I glance over at my brother.
He’s rough around the edges, and can be a total fucking dick sometimes, but at his core he’s a big sweetheart.
I hope he figures his shit out soon, because he deserves happiness too.
He could be a Beta in a pack, or find love with one person, whatever he wanted, but he’s closed himself off and it makes me ache for him.
“I do appreciate you taking me.”
“Yeah, well, how could I turn down a blank check favor from my baby sister?” he asks with a sigh, parking. “Let me go grab a luggage cart. I’ll be right back.”
I sit in his car and wait. My heart is pounding rapidly in my chest, the adrenaline of this new adventure coursing through me. I’m about to be on my own.
This took a lot of planning and forethought, but now that it’s here I wonder if I planned enough. I’ve had so many meetings at Heat Haven going over rules, smelling pheromones, and signing papers. Right now, though, it’s actually sinking in.
I’m going to be away from my family for up to three months and I might be bringing back a pack to meet them.
There’s no denying that my standards are sky high. I’ve watched firsthand how my dads treat my mom, and now how my other brother Jonah and his pack treat their Omega Shiloh.
Settling isn’t an option, but suffering alone through my first heat isn’t either.
I want a pack so desperately I almost want to cry right now.
Maybe it’s a desperation to be loved, to have that connection only a bond can bring, but I crave it.
I’ve known deep familial and platonic love, but I’ve never been in love with somebody.
Deep down I know that I could be the Omega that grounds a pack, the glue that keeps them together.
I know my reputation in Manhattan. A spoiled, stuck-up Omega who hasn’t deemed any Alpha good enough to settle down with.
But what they don’t know is how many Alphas I’ve given a chance, only for them to ask about my dads.
Or worse, the Alphas who got frustrated when it took me too long to message them back, or too long to read a menu.
None of them wanted the real me. They only wanted to be with me because of my family name or my designation.
It seemed like every pack in Manhattan wanted some flawless, high society, arm candy Omega, and that just isn’t me.
If I’m being honest with myself, I’m not sure I’m built for the cut throat nature of New York City anymore.
I think I’d like a softer, slower paced life.
It’s one of the things I'll keep at the forefront while dating on the ship.
This cruise is about my future, and no matter how scary it is to be taking this adventure all by myself, I can do this.
I get out of the car as my brother hefts my luggage on the cart. Looking at him, you’d assume he was an Alpha. He’s almost as large as our oldest brother, but he didn’t designate as an Alpha, and he’s been bitter about it since puberty.
“You’re absolutely fucking sure you want to get on that boat?”
“It’s a ship and yes, I’m absolutely sure.”
“You know they’re going to freak out when they see your location in the middle of the ocean?” he says regarding our parents. Half of them want me to find a pack and the other half refuse to acknowledge that I’m an adult and it’s time for me to leave the nest.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give them a heads up until after four when the ship leaves port.”
He sighs as he pushes the cart to the entrance of Heat Haven’s gangway.
“I’m not telling them shit. If they ask how you got here, tell them you rented a car.”
I laugh with a shake of my head while Axel gives the porter my luggage and tips him.
He wraps his arms around me and squeezes.
“Hope you find what you’re looking for, Claire Bear. Stay safe, and I’m just a phone call away if anything goes wrong, okay? We don’t even have to tell anyone what happened,” he says against my hair and I squeeze him harder.
“Thanks, Axel.”
“Alright, now get out of here before I throw up from thinking about what you’re about to do on this ship,” he says.
With a roll of my eyes from his comment I give my brother a reassuring smile as I give the attendant my passport. They scan it and usher me to the next checkpoint.
Holy shit. I’m actually doing this.
Omegas are creatures of comfort and I’m leaving everything that grounds me behind and putting all my eggs in one basket. I won’t know a single soul on board, and I’ll be navigating making friends and serious connections.
My biggest insecurity is that I won’t be able to find a deep relationship.
I know how I look and how I smell. It’s far from difficult getting an Alpha’s attention. But I don’t just want attention for my looks, my last name, or the size of my bank account. What I’m looking for is a true connection that goes beyond the superficial.
I want something real.
Security is a breeze. I get the wristlet that gives me access to my room and for getting on and off the ship.
It’s also equipped with geo tracking information and health monitoring.
By tracking heart rates, they can usually tell if an Omega is in heat.
It also has an emergency function for me to use if I ever feel unsafe.
I’m led to the next area, where a small woman, in all black, with her hair in a tight bun, is waiting for me with a wide smile.
“Miss S?rensen, lovely to meet you. My name is Reyna. I’ll be your attendant for the cruise. We’re so happy to have you.” She’s a Beta, as are most of the staff on the ship, minus security.
“I’m happy to be here,” I reply, but the nerves are truly setting in now.
I’m about to walk across the gangway and be onboard with nearly one hundred other Omegas and fuck knows how many Alphas and Betas. I’m really doing this.
“I’ll be here for whatever you need during your stay. Would you like to go to your stateroom first or would you like to eat?” Reyna asks.
“My room, if that’s okay?”
There are other passengers boarding, but I’m too focused on myself to really pay attention to them.
“Of course, your luggage likely isn’t up yet, but we can get you settled,” she assures me.
I take a deep breath and the other crew members smile as we finally step aboard. The main entrance is opulent. A massive chandelier made of red and yellow blown glass grabs my attention. To my left there's a grand wrap-around staircase that leads to an all-glass bar.
People are walking around everywhere and the scents are such a wide variety that it’s almost disorienting.
“We have a lot of open air areas if the scents are too much. Come, let’s get you to your suite.” She doesn’t touch me, but she guides me toward the elevators. I like that she’s professional and to the point, but I’m hoping that maybe I get to know her a bit more throughout the cruise.
Shockingly, an elevator is readily available, and she hits twelve. “You’re in suite 12634. Deck twelve and thirteen are Omega-only decks. Employees and our Omega guests are the only ones with access to these elevators that go to these floors.”
I nod, remembering all of this from all the seminars.
The only exception is if an Omega brings Alpha or Beta guests to their room, there’s a staff member stationed by the elevators to make sure anyone who comes on the elevator has permission.
I fiddle with the wristband; the pink color clashes with my Van Cleef & Arpels bracelets, but it’s something I’ll have to get used to.
Omegas have pink, Alphas have Black, and Betas have blue.
When we get to deck twelve, sure enough, an Alpha security guard is there. He glances at my wrist and gives us a curt nod. My room isn’t far from the elevator, and Reyna points to the door handle.
“You just need to swipe your wristband here,” she says.
I do as she instructs and remember that they will monitor all my comings and goings. Heat Haven has taken as many precautions as possible to make sure the cruise is safe.
The mechanism whirls as I enter my home for the next few months. This is the maiden voyage of Haven of the Seas, and it's evident with how immaculate the space is.
The first thing that grabs my attention is the floor to ceiling glass that leads out to the balcony.
I’m facing the port currently, but I can only imagine the views while we’re sailing.
There’s a round dining table in the center of the room with four chairs.
A large navy sectional rests in the corner and a TV is attached to the wall opposite of the couch.
Everything is decorated in rich blues and sharp whites.
“This is your main area. There’s storage space, and a closet over here, and just around the corner is your bedroom,” Reyna says.
There’s no door between the living space and the bedroom, which allows tons of natural light to fill the small space.
“You have even more closet space in here. If you need any additional linens, blankets, or pillows, please let me know. Your comfort is my utmost priority.”
“Thank you, Reyna. You’ve been very helpful,” I tell her, hoping to soften her up a little bit toward me.
“There will be tours of the nests all during the week. I encourage you to go early so that you can have your first options,” she says as she shows me the bathroom. “Do you have the app downloaded on your phone?”
I nod and she gives me a quick smile.
“Perfect, you can message me there any time. I’m sure you’ve already been given a rundown of the app, but if you have any questions about room service, booking spa treatments, or accepting messages from other guests, I’m here to help.”
“Great, thank you again.”
“I’ll give you some time to get sorted. We’ll knock when your luggage gets in, but feel free to explore the ship at your leisure.”
She gives me one more smile before she leaves the suite. As soon as she steps out, I’m greeted with a harsh quiet. The room smells fresh and clean, but all I want to do is make it smell more like home.
A sense of profound loneliness fills me as I sit on the bed.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before and I’m not exactly sure how to process it.
Logically I knew I’d have some alone time at first, that I’d have to get used to being left with my own thoughts, but what if it’s like this for days on end?
I can do hard things, I remind myself.
Now is definitely not the time to second guess this decision. This is my reality for the next three months and come hell or high water I’m leaving this ship with a pack.