Chapter 18
DANNY
‘Sorry I’m a bit late,’ Rory said, sounding quite breathless as he hurried up the path towards the bench outside the church. ‘I, er, I’ve been shopping and I had to drop the bags off before I came here.’
Danny glanced up at the church clock and shrugged. ‘Only ten minutes. It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you came. I wasn’t sure you would.’
Rory dropped onto the bench beside him. ‘Of course I came. I told you I would. Although, I must admit, I half thought I’d dreamed the entire thing and was prepared for the fact that you wouldn’t be here. But I came anyway, just in case.’
Danny nodded. ‘It’s just, you were a bit funny with me yesterday. It was like you couldn’t wait to get away from me.’
Rory rubbed his forehead. ‘I’m sorry, Danny. It wasn’t like that, honestly. It was just such a shock, and I really didn’t know what to think. I should have thought about how that came across to you and been a lot less selfish. I’m really sorry.’
Danny brightened. ‘It’s okay. I should have realised how strange this must be for you. I suppose I was just scared, you know. Scared you wouldn’t come back and I’d never see you again.’
Rory smiled. ‘Aw, Danny, there’s no way I’d have gone without talking to my baby brother. Have you any idea how much I’ve missed you? I can’t tell you how amazing it is to see you again. I never thought…’
He broke off, clearly emotional, and Danny felt a rush of relief. ‘It’s the same for me,’ he said. ‘I’ve missed you, too. You have no idea.’
Rory nodded. ‘Still wish I could hug you.’
‘I know. Frustrating, isn’t it? But look, tell me everything! What’s been going on with the family? With you? It’s been such a long time, and I’ve wondered, over the years, how you all were.’
Rory leaned back in the bench. ‘We’re all doing well.
Like I told you yesterday, it took Mum and Dad some time coming to terms with what happened, but we all pulled through eventually.
Doesn’t mean we don’t all still miss you and think about you, though,’ he added hastily.
‘Life goes on, but there’ll always be someone missing. It will always hurt.’
‘Hurts me, too.’
‘I see that now. That’s worse really. I’d thought you were at peace.’
‘I’m fine, honestly,’ Danny assured him quickly. ‘You don’t have to worry about me. I mean, it’s not what I’d have expected but it could have been a lot worse. But what about you? You said you needed a break from work, and you’d come here to do that. Are you still in the same job?’
‘Erm, yeah. Well, no. Not exactly. Same company but I’m the deputy director of software development now.
It’s great money and I only have to work at the office one day a week, if that.
I do have to travel to other parts of the country sometimes – the company has hubs around Britain as you may remember – but it’s not often and not for long. ’
‘But it’s hard work?’
Rory frowned. ‘I’m not exactly out in all weathers building houses, or farming or trawler fishing.
I can’t say it’s hard work physically, and many would say it’s an easy job.
But it’s taxing in other ways. There’s a lot of responsibility – a lot – and I do put in long hours.
You’d think working from home would be a cushy number, but in some ways it’s even harder because you have to muster the self-discipline to plonk yourself down at the desk and just get on with things, when you’d much rather be doing something else. ’
Danny grinned. ‘I can imagine.’ A gleam of gold suddenly caught his eye, and he stared down at his brother’s hand in amazement. ‘A wedding ring! Hey, don’t tell me my big brother finally took the plunge and settled down?’
Rory looked startled as he nervously twisted the ring round his finger. ‘Er, yeah. I finally did it.’
‘Oh my God! This is amazing. I bet Mum and Dad were over the moon! They’d given up hope.’ Danny laughed. ‘So who’s the lucky lady? And when did it happen?’
Rory looked charmingly bashful. ‘Erm, she’s an old friend who used to give me advice on dating other women.
One day I realised I didn’t want her to give me advice.
I wanted her to be jealous. That’s when I also realised that she wasn’t just a friend to me any longer.
I wanted her to be so much more. It took me a while to pluck up the courage to tell her how I felt, but luckily, when I did, she felt the same.
We got married the following year. That was ten years ago now.
Well, our anniversary’s on Saturday so…’
‘That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you, Rory.’ Danny’s smile faded a little. ‘There’s nothing better than being married. Nothing.’ His eyes brightened. ‘Is she here with you? I’d love to see her, even if she can’t see me.’
Rory shook his head. ‘No, sorry. She’s not. She’s, er, too busy with work.’
‘Oh? What does she do?’
‘She’s a lead buyer in a department store,’ Rory said slowly.
‘Really? Cool. Kirsty used to work in a department store,’ Danny reminded him. ‘Might still do for all I know. I don’t suppose you happen to know if she’s still there? Rochester’s. Remember? Hey, it would be funny if your wife worked in Rochester’s, too, wouldn’t it?’
Rory gave a short laugh. ‘It certainly would.’
‘It’s probably for the best your wife’s not here with you,’ Danny said thoughtfully. ‘For one thing, how would you explain that you were meeting up with your dead brother? She’d probably have you committed.’
‘Ha! She probably would,’ Rory agreed with feeling.
‘And for another, it wouldn’t be fair. You’d have to spend time with her, not me. I’d only cramp your style, so from a selfish point of view I’m glad you’re on your own. I wouldn’t want you to neglect her.’
Rory shook his head. ‘I don’t think you could ever be selfish, Danny. You were always the thoughtful, kind one. You clearly haven’t changed, despite being…’
‘Dead?’ Danny supplied helpfully.
‘Don’t say that word,’ Rory said with a shudder.
‘It still breaks my heart, remembering that night.’ He turned to fully face his brother.
‘What happened, Danny? We never understood it. You were supposed to be at the party at that hotel in Cheltenham and staying over until the following day. What were you doing near Rowan Vale at ten o’clock on the Saturday night?
And what on earth possessed you to get into a car with that Lee Hardwick?
You do know he was high as a kite that night?
They found a vast amount of cocaine in his blood.
The coroner put the blame for the crash fairly and squarely on his shoulders. ’
Danny sighed. ‘It wasn’t my idea, believe me. The truth is, I didn’t realise until it was too late that he’d been taking drugs. I knew he hadn’t been drinking so I thought he’d be safe to drive.’
‘But why were you in the car? Why weren’t you at the hotel? And what on earth was Brooke doing with you?’
‘It was because of Brooke that I was in the car,’ Danny said heavily.
‘I don’t know why she decided she was going to cadge a lift home with Lee, but the first I heard of it was when she was making a fuss about finding her bag because he might drive off without her.
I hurried over to see if she was okay, and she seemed really upset and angry about something.
I asked her if someone had hurt her, but she said she was fine.
She just wanted to go home, and Lee had offered her a lift because he was bored and wanted to get off early. ’
‘She didn’t notice anything unusual about his behaviour?’
‘To be honest, I think she was that upset she wouldn’t have noticed if he’d been rolling drunk.’
She’d never given him a satisfactory explanation for why she’d been so desperate to leave the party.
He’d asked her repeatedly in the early days of their afterlife, but she’d always insisted that she couldn’t remember, and he hadn’t liked to push her in case she remembered more details about the crash.
‘Anyway, when I realised she was going home with Lee I tried to talk her out of it, but she wasn’t having it.
In fact, she gave up looking for her bag and stormed outside without it.
Then her friend, Saffron, came over and said she had the bag.
She got quite bolshy because I wanted her to just hand it over, but she said she’d put her comb and lipstick in it and she started rooting around inside it.
I was worried Lee and Brooke would drive off without me so I’m afraid I didn’t wait.
I just grabbed the bag and ran after her.
I managed to jump in the back seat just as the car moved off.
Brooke was in the front and she was furious with me.
Told me to get out and leave her alone.’
‘But you didn’t.’
‘No, I couldn’t.’ Danny gave him a pleading look.
‘I know that if I had I’d still be alive and well now, but Brooke probably wouldn’t be.
And I couldn’t leave her alone with that letch, could I?
Lee Hardwick was a real sleazeball. Brooke had had a drink or two, and he’d have taken advantage.
I didn’t trust him with her. I had to protect her, whether she wanted me to or not. ’
‘So you stayed in the car for Brooke’s sake.’
‘She was Kirsty’s cousin.’
Rory nodded. ‘Let’s face it, Danny. Even if she hadn’t been you’d have done the same thing. Like I said, you’re the most unselfish, kind person I’ve ever known.’
‘Maybe I used to be,’ Danny said sombrely. ‘I don’t think I’m particularly kind these days. In fact, I’m a proper misery guts.’
Rory smiled. ‘I find that hard to believe.’
You haven’t heard the way I talk to Brooke sometimes. You haven’t seen how I’ve pushed her away.
He supposed, thinking about it, that deep down he resented her. If she hadn’t left the party and jumped into that car, they’d both still be alive and well right now. It was all her fault.
And yet, he realised that wasn’t strictly true.
As Rory had pointed out, the coroner had blamed Lee Hardwick.
He shouldn’t have been driving in that state.
He shouldn’t have been taking cocaine at a party.
He shouldn’t have been such a letch and then Danny wouldn’t have had to rush to Brooke’s rescue.
Then again, if he and Brooke hadn’t been arguing and had thought to fasten their seatbelts they might well have survived the crash relatively unscathed.
They were all partly responsible when it came right down to it, himself included.
He really hadn’t been fair to Brooke, and on his better days he knew it all too well.
But the truth was, it was safer to blame her. Safer to keep her at arm’s length…
‘So what about Brooke and Lee?’ Rory asked. ‘I take it they both went on to wherever it is we go after we…’
‘Die. Well, Lee did. Ironic, if you like. But Brooke’s with me.’
Rory gasped. ‘Brooke’s here, too? In Rowan Vale?’
Danny nodded. ‘Actually, we share a flat in the village. Not far from here.’
Rory looked dazed. ‘You and Brooke share a flat?’
‘Well, we’ve got to live somewhere,’ Danny said uncomfortably. ‘There’s not an endless supply of houses here, so you take what you’re given.’
‘Of course you do.’
‘After we died, the villagers all rallied round to find us accommodation. They were really kind to us actually.’
‘So you and Brooke…’ Rory sounded strangely hopeful. ‘Are you and she together now?’
Danny looked appalled. ‘Why would you think that? We just share a flat, that’s all!’
‘It’s been eighteen years, Danny. No one would think badly of you if you and she—’
‘She’s Kirsty’s cousin! It wouldn’t be right. Even if I felt like that about her, which I don’t, I couldn’t. Definitely not.’
‘No. Right.’
‘And anyway, I’m a married man. Remember?’
‘Well…’ Rory hesitated. ‘You’re not really, are you? “Till death us do part”. Isn’t that the vow? And you’re technically dead. So you’re not really married any more. Technically.’
‘But I am. At least, that’s how I feel. Unless, of course…’ Danny raised wary eyes to Rory. ‘Unless Kirsty’s not my wife any more.’
‘She’s your widow,’ Rory said flatly.
‘Yes, but is she still my wife? Tell me honestly, Rory. Is Kirsty married to someone else?’
Rory stared at him for what felt like forever. Then he shook his head slightly.
‘Kirsty is still Mrs Harrison, Danny.’
Danny blew out his cheeks. ‘Right. Thanks, Rory. Good to know.’
Although, was it? Eighteen years was a long time for Kirsty to be alone. He couldn’t help feeling guilty about her.
And there was something else, too. Something he couldn’t quite understand and didn’t want to think about too much.
He gave Rory a bright smile, determined not to dwell on all that. ‘So, tell me all about Mum and Dad. Has Dad still got that allotment?’
‘He hasn’t. It got a bit much for him,’ Rory admitted.
‘But don’t worry. He’s perfectly content with his little garden these days, and he and Mum are in good health considering their age and still take an active role in village life.
But tell me more about this flat you and Brooke share.
How on earth does that work? And how did it come about? ’
‘Oh.’ Danny shook his head slightly. ‘That was all thanks to the kindness of strangers…’