Chapter 23 #2
‘It’s one thing me not telling you I’ve seen Brooke, but how could you keep the fact that Danny was here from me?’ I burst out. ‘She says you’ve met up with him twice. The second time when you told me you were at that vintage vehicle museum. You lied to my face! Why would you do that?’
‘Well,’ he said helplessly, ‘how could I tell you? How could I break the news that the husband who died eighteen years ago, the husband you’re still not completely over, the husband whose death we’re only here in the village to try to process, has been walking around as right as rain all this time? ’
‘As right as rain? You mean apart from the fact that he’s dead?’
‘Yes, well, apart from that.’ Rory massaged his temple and gave me a pleading look. ‘You’ve struggled to come to terms with his death all these years. How could I tell you, Kirsty? I just didn’t know what to do.’
I was shaking now. This was all surreal, and I didn’t know how to think or feel any more.
It was one thing to hear from Brooke that Danny was still around, but to have Rory, his own brother admit it had brought home the truth to me.
My first husband, my first love, was here in Rowan Vale.
I just didn’t know how to begin to deal with that.
Rory seemed to sense my distress. He moved closer and put his arm around me.
‘He’s okay, Kirsty. He seems to be doing fine.
He shares a flat with Brooke, and he seems to have made some sort of a life for himself here.
There are other ghosts, and they’ve formed quite a community.
’ He wiped my tears away. ‘He’s even singing!
Can you believe that? They’ve got some sort of choir going or something.
He always did have a beautiful voice, didn’t he? ’
Suddenly he was sobbing, and it was me who was comforting him. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, and we cried together. It was all right putting on a brave face, but when it came right down to it this was a hell of a lot to deal with.
Our beautiful Danny Boy, who we’d thought long dead, was still around in some form or essence. It was unbelievable.
‘How is he? Does he look… I mean…’ He’d been in an horrific car crash after all. Although there were no marks on Brooke and her injuries had been even worse. I remembered Mum crying as she told me Brooke’s parents had been advised not to see her. My dad had stoically identified both bodies.
‘He looks absolutely perfect,’ Rory assured me, understanding my fears. He managed a wry smile. ‘Well, apart from the fact that he’s wearing an Adam Ant costume and has stripes of make-up across his face.’
‘Oh heck,’ I said, laughing through my tears. ‘Poor Danny! Poor Brooke’s stuck dressed as Siobhan from Bananarama.’
‘Oh no!’ Rory shook his head. ‘Now do you see why I insisted on pyjamas? Can you imagine dying in your sleep and having to spend eternity stark naked? The horror of it!’
Light dawned and I gave a sigh of relief. ‘So that’s why you wanted us to dress for a polar expedition in bed! I thought you – never mind. So, Danny’s happy?’
‘He seems to be.’ Rory wiped his own tears away with the heel of his hand. ‘He asked about Mum and Dad, of course. And you.’
‘What did you tell him? Because Brooke says you didn’t tell him we were married.’
He gave me a despairing look. ‘How could I? It felt like a betrayal somehow, and I know that sounds stupid but… Anyway, how’s Brooke?’
‘She seems okay, too,’ I said with a shrug. ‘She’s a bit funny with me, though. She’s very protective of Danny. Then again,’ I gave him a knowing look, ‘she always did have a bit of a thing about him.’
‘She did?’
‘Oh yes. Ever since she was a kid. It was obvious to everyone who knew her. Well, everyone except Danny of course. He was totally oblivious.’
‘And you didn’t mind?’
‘Not at first. To be honest, I thought it was quite sweet. It wasn’t so sweet later when she got older and she took a job as a receptionist at his place of work, just so she could see him every day. I thought that was a bit stalkerish, to be honest.’
‘Did you say anything?’ Rory asked, astonished.
‘No. I didn’t want to embarrass her. And it wasn’t as if I had any reason to worry.’ I sighed. ‘Danny would never cheat on me. He just didn’t have it in him.’
‘He loved you,’ Rory said softly.
‘I know.’ Tears welled up again and I blinked them away, aware that I had something else to tell him.
‘You have to visit Danny and tell him about us,’ I said.
He gulped. ‘What? Why?’
‘Brooke’s adamant about it,’ I said. ‘She doesn’t want Danny to spot us around the village and find out that way, and she has a point. It wouldn’t be a fair way for him to find out, would it? I’d tell him myself but obviously I can’t see or hear him, so that only leaves you. I’m really sorry.’
‘He’s going to hate me,’ Rory murmured.
‘Danny doesn’t have it in him to hate anyone,’ I said. ‘But I do think he’s going to be very hurt and angry, at least until it sinks in. The only other option…’
I hesitated and Rory raised an eyebrow. ‘The only other option…?’
I clutched hopefully at his arm. ‘We go home,’ I said. ‘We pack up now and we leave Rowan Vale before there’s any chance that he spots us. That way, no one gets hurt.’
Rory shook his head slowly. ‘I can’t do that to him, Kirsty. It wouldn’t be right.’
‘Why not? Why upset him if we don’t have to? He need never know.’
Rory clearly didn’t agree. ‘It’s not as simple as that.
He’s my little brother and I love him. It’s bad enough that I’ve lied to him for this long.
Have you any idea how it felt to see him again?
You can’t imagine the mixture of emotions I felt.
It was overwhelming. But the overriding thought was, Danny’s here.
He’s not gone. I can still talk to him. God, I’ve missed him. ’
‘I understand that,’ I said. ‘But if you feel that way then surely telling him you married his wife is the last thing you want to do?’
‘No,’ he said quietly. ‘The last thing I want to do is to leave here without saying goodbye. Scuttling away like a coward. Can you imagine how hurt he’d be if he found out I’d left the village without telling him? And besides, now that I’ve found him, now that I know he’s here…’
As his voice trailed off, I frowned. ‘Now that you’ve found him what?’
He exhaled slowly. ‘Okay, now that I’ve found him I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t see any reason why I can’t come back and visit him a few times a year.’
‘You’re kidding?’ I gasped.
‘Why would I be kidding? What’s wrong with wanting to see my brother again?’ he demanded.
‘But he’s – he’s a ghost!’
‘Yes, and that’s why it’s even more important that I keep in touch with him.
I’m his only link with the world outside this village.
Don’t you see that? He’s spent eighteen years worrying about us all, wondering what we’re doing, if we’re okay.
It’s not fair. I honestly don’t see why I shouldn’t do whatever I can to make things easier for him.
In fact, I’m wondering if I can write to him every week.
Let him know how things are going and then meet him here every season for a proper catch-up. ’
‘Have you any idea how crazy that all sounds?’ I asked, dazed. ‘Who writes letters to ghosts? Who’s going to open them up and read them to him?’
‘Ah well,’ he said triumphantly, ‘apparently all the owners of this village have had the gift of seeing all the ghosts and being able to talk to them. The current owner lives at Harling Hall – you know that big, grand house we passed on the way in? I think if I could speak to her in private and explain the situation she’d be happy to read the letters to Danny if I sent them to her. He says she’s very understanding.’
I shook my head, hardly able to believe I was hearing this.
‘And what about your parents?’ I asked, thinking of Brooke’s parents and whether she’d want regular updates on them. Would she want them to know she was still around? Would Danny want Rory to tell their parents the truth?
Rory’s face clouded. ‘I don’t know. I can’t decide what’s best to do about that, to be honest. Mum and Dad have been through a lot.
It might be too much for them. But I don’t know what Danny would want.
I haven’t spoken to him about any of this.
Let’s face it, he might not want anything to do with me when he finds out I married you. ’
We both sat quietly for a few minutes, each deep in thought.
I knew Rory had a point, and I could understand him wanting to keep in touch with Danny. It would be a lovely, kind thing to do, and knowing Danny it would mean the world to him. He deserved that much at least.
From a purely selfish point of view, I was terrified.
When Rory told his brother the truth about us, Danny might react very badly.
Clearly, ghosts couldn’t harm us physically and Danny never would anyway, no matter what, but he might lash out verbally.
He might tell Rory who I really was. What I’d done. How would my husband react to that?
I should tell him the truth now, before it was too late, but the words stuck in my throat. I couldn’t imagine ever having the courage to confess to the man I loved just what sort of woman he’d saddled himself with.
‘Well,’ Rory said with a sigh, ‘now that you know about Danny, I suppose there’s no reason for us to avoid Rowan Vale. Not after I tell him the truth.’
‘And you’re going to do that today?’
‘I’ll go and look for him now,’ he said. ‘Are you okay to stay here out of sight until I get back and let you know it’s all clear. We don’t want to risk him seeing you before I get the chance to explain.’
I nodded. ‘That’s fair enough. Are you okay?’
Rory blew out his cheeks. ‘I don’t think okay’s quite the word I’d use, but I know this is for the best. I’ll go and see him. I know where he’ll be. He’s got a rehearsal this morning at the vintage cinema. That’s why I wanted us to sneak out to Kingsford Wold, while he was safely out of the way.’
He stood and I squeezed his hand in support.
‘Good luck,’ I said.
He nodded and left the room, while I leaned back in the sofa and closed my eyes, trying to quell the fear that was bubbling up in my mind.
It wasn’t Rory who’d need the luck. When Danny found out I’d betrayed him yet again, it was me who was going to need all the luck in the world.