Chapter 30 #2
‘Please welcome our brand-new band: High Spirits!’
Everyone clapped and cheered and Amelia started to play the piano. Silas nodded and Aubrey began to sing.
Even though Brodie couldn’t hear him, Brooke saw the look of delight on his face as he recognised the music as a song his father used to play regularly.
Both Callie and Brodie gulped as Immi’s voice joined Aubrey’s, and Brooke wished everyone could hear how wonderful they sounded, accompanied by Florrie and Millie.
Harmony came next and she sounded amazing. Brooke noticed that Quintus Severus had turned to watch her, and that he had a smile on his face. She’d never seen him smile before, and for some reason the sight moved her to tears.
Then it was time for the chorus, and she forgot everything else as she began to sing along, careful not to be too loud, as she was only too aware that she didn’t have the best voice in the world. She managed to keep her composure somehow, but then it was Danny’s turn to take the lead.
Brooke would have held her breath if she’d had any. She clenched her fists and prayed that he wouldn’t mess this up and nerves wouldn’t get the better of him.
But Danny was incredible. His voice had never sounded clearer or more emotional.
The feeling he put into those words – words of a man who’d had his own heart broken, but had been healed by the power of love – was incredible.
She scanned the room for Rory and Kirsty.
Kirsty was standing by the door, her arms tightly folded, while Rory was at the other side of the room, clearly enraptured by Danny’s voice, tears glistening on his cheeks.
As Immi, Florrie and Millie joined in with the second half of the verse, Danny’s hand reached behind him. Brooke stared at it for a moment then clasped it in hers. He squeezed her fingers gently before letting go and beginning the chorus.
Brooke sang along as best she could, although it was difficult with a big lump of emotion stuck in her throat and tears stinging her eyes.
When the final strains of ‘Sunshine on Leith’ faded, there was a moment’s silence, then everyone clapped and cheered.
Callie was openly sobbing, and Brodie put his arms round her. ‘I promise we’ll let them perform again at our wedding reception,’ he told her. ‘This is our song now, Callie.’
High Spirits bowed, mostly to people who couldn’t see them, but it really didn’t matter.
‘Oh, Aubrey,’ Agnes gasped, ‘you’ve never sounded finer. You wonderful, wonderful man!’
‘Well done, everyone,’ Lawrie said, beaming at them all. ‘Your best performance yet.’
‘Yours too, Lawrie,’ Amelia told him. ‘Your solo pieces were absolutely beautiful.’
Silas cleared his throat and nodded. ‘Not bad at all,’ he said gruffly. ‘Almost passable, in fact. I think I did an excellent job there.’
He gave a self-satisfied nod then walked out of the room, clearly having had enough festivities for one night.
Danny turned to Brooke. ‘We did it.’
‘You did it,’ she said shyly.
He took her hand and led her outside, ignoring the congratulations from the other ghosts who were keen to tell him how wonderful he’d sounded.
‘Where are we going?’ she asked, although she didn’t really care. Danny was holding her hand, and he didn’t seem to be angry with her at all. That was enough for her.
‘I want to talk to you,’ he said softly, as they walked into the gardens at the back of the inn. He led her to one of the pagodas which housed an outdoor sofa. They were very popular on summer nights but tonight, with the rain gently falling, no one was around.
They sat together on the sofa and Danny turned to face Brooke, who was trembling.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he said simply. ‘You were right. I do always blame you, and this afternoon I did exactly the same thing. Kirsty had just told me all this horrible information and instead of thinking about that I focused on the fact that you’d kept it from me.’
‘I suppose it’s because if you’d ranted at Kirsty she wouldn’t have heard you,’ Brooke said. ‘Whereas there’s more satisfaction to be had from rowing with someone who can actually row back.’
‘That’s no excuse, though,’ he said with shame.
‘And I don’t think it’s the whole story either.
I’ve had the whole afternoon to work things out in my mind, and I’ve come to a conclusion that I think, deep down, I’d already reached a long time ago.
I just didn’t want to admit it because I felt guilty. ’
‘About what?’ Brooke asked curiously.
Danny scratched his temple, the way he often did when he was thinking.
‘About the fact that Kirsty was fading in my memory. I struggled at times to remember what she looked like. I used to lie in bed sometimes, trying to conjure up her face, but it was becoming harder and harder. Blonde hair, blue eyes, dimple in chin, tick tick tick. I could get a picture of her sometimes, but it was becoming less clear, and I felt so bad about that. I kept trying to cling to her memory, to hold on to her somehow, but the truth is the face that was becoming more and more important to me was yours.’
Brooke stared at him, wondering if she’d heard right. ‘Mine?’
‘I don’t know when it started,’ he said slowly.
‘But if I’m really, really honest with myself, I think it was before we ended up here in Rowan Vale, and I hated myself for that.
I’ve spent eighteen years blaming you for our deaths, when all you tried to do was protect me from something you knew would hurt me.
I’ve kept you at arm’s length, and been horrible to you at times.
And the thing is, Brooke, the thing is… That night, when you were going to leave with Lee… ’
Brooke frowned. ‘Yes?’
‘I couldn’t let you leave with him because – because I was jealous. I thought you and he were…’
‘Me and Lee?’ she asked incredulously.
He nodded. ‘I couldn’t see any other reason why you would leave with him, and you wouldn’t tell me what was so urgent, so I thought…
Anyway, I didn’t trust him with you, and I thought if you’d had a drink you might go much further with him than you’d want to, so of course I had to stop you.
But deep down, there was a part of me that couldn’t bear the thought that you’d want to be with him.
I just didn’t want to face up to that, so it was easier to blame you for it all.
When the accident happened…’ He broke off and shook his head.
‘It felt like I was being punished for having those feelings about you, and I felt guilty because you’d been dragged into that punishment.
It was all mixed up in my mind and I lashed out at you because I couldn’t deal with the sort of person I’d become. I’m so sorry.’
‘But…’ Brooke felt dazed. ‘But you loved Kirsty! You adored her!’
‘I did,’ he agreed. ‘She was everything to me. But what I’d forgotten until today was how far we’d drifted apart those last couple of years together. I refused to acknowledge the truth.’
He sighed, running a hand through his dark curls.
‘I remember all too clearly now. I pushed for us to move away from London because I was unhappy.
I think, deep down, I was trying to recapture a time when I was happy.
Living at home. Being in the countryside.
I thought somehow that if we could start again in a little village everything would be okay again.
I thought – God this sounds stupid now – but I thought that if we had children they would bring us closer together. Fix us.
‘Kirsty had more sense; I see that now. The truth is, Brooke, she and I were already broken. We weren’t compatible.
It’s just that neither of us could bring ourselves to admit it to each other.
In my case, I couldn’t even admit it to myself.
How can I be angry at her for having an affair when secretly I was already having feelings for another woman? For you?’
‘But – but you never looked twice at me,’ Brooke gasped.
‘Not for years,’ he agreed. ‘But the last few months before we went to the party, something shifted. I don’t know if it was because subconsciously I recognised that something wasn’t right between me and Kirsty.
I just started to notice how kind you were, how thoughtful.
You made me laugh, and you were always so sweet to me.
I realised that I looked forward to going into work to see your smiling face on reception. ’
‘I never had a clue,’ she said, shaking her head in amazement.
‘I wasn’t going to do anything about it,’ he said.
‘I would never have cheated on Kirsty. But the feelings were there, and maybe that’s just as bad.
’ He gave her a wry smile. ‘How else do you think I ended up wearing this bloody Adam Ant costume? I wanted to please you. I wouldn’t have worn it for anyone else, I promise you that. ’
‘Oh, Danny!’ Brooke didn’t know what to say, so instead she burst into tears.
‘Hey, it’s okay, don’t cry.’
‘I can’t bloody cry,’ she said furiously. ‘The tears won’t fall. I just can’t see very well right now.’
They leaned against each other, laughing through their tears.
‘You know,’ Danny said after a moment, ‘all those years with Kirsty, all I wanted was to live in a beautiful village in the countryside, be part of a community that cared about us, and come home to a woman I loved who loved me in return. And all this time I’ve had it. I just didn’t notice.’
Brooke nodded. ‘Well, now we know, and you know what’s even better? We’ve got the rest of our afterlives to enjoy it.’
Danny stroked her straw-like hair, and she winced.
‘I know. It’s awful.’
‘No it isn’t.’ He smiled. ‘It’s cute. It’s part of who you are, and I love it, just like I love you.’
If Brooke’s heart had been beating, she was pretty sure it would have stopped as Danny leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. She’d waited so long to feel his lips on hers and now it was actually happening she could hardly believe it.
‘I love you so much, Danny,’ she murmured when he finally pulled away from her.
He put his arm around her. ‘Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go home.’