Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
Graham
Harriet had earned her wages twice over with how presentable she’d made Tabs. Her face was clean, her blond hair elegantly curled and trailing down the back of her freshly pressed brown day dress. On the outside, she looked as fancy and well-behaved as any nobleman’s little sister.
But on the inside ...
She’d taken Anna’s hand and smiled up at her with the innocent look of a child, and Anna had allowed it, strolling along beside her with the ease and comfort of a sister, which she was most certainly not. Their straw hats were unsettlingly similar. Both laced with blue ribbon and white flowers like they’d been paired together on purpose.
My shock from this morning still lingered, of seeing Anna sitting up against her bedframe, hair messy and tangled, with Tabs on her bed, completely oblivious to propriety and social etiquette. I rubbed my temples for the millionth time, as though doing so could erase the sharp edges of how I’d stood there like an utter fool, desperate to hide within the deepest hole but forced to wait out Tabs’s slow retreat from Anna’s bed.
Anna’s bed. I shouldn’t know what she looked like, cheeks warm and eyes still soft from sleep, all wrapped up in her covers. I could hardly look at her without picturing that moment and wondering things ... things an honorable man shouldn’t.
Why would she invite Tabs? What game was she playing at? She’d clearly seen Tabs at her wildest this morning, so I could only deduce that Anna meant to encourage my little sister into even worse behavior. More gossip to write about in her notebook, more stories to tell her father upon his return, more reasons against investing in Brighton. I could still sense her disapproval from this morning. With every interaction, she looked at me with disdain, her responses curt and annoyed. I might never gain her approval, but I’d give her no reason to think less of my family. Especially my youngest sister.
A few steps behind them, I strained my ears to listen to their conversation.
“... beautiful day. The sun should warm us up nicely,” Anna said.
Tabs gave her a wide grin. “What do you imagine has washed up on the shore?”
“I could not begin to guess. What are you hopeful for?”
“A dead prawn?” Tabs side-eyed Anna to gauge her reaction. “Or perhaps a live adder.”
But Anna did not miss a beat. “I used to long for those same things when I was your age. But now I am rather afraid of adders. If we come upon one, we should make your brother capture it for us.”
“Graham? He is not brave enough to catch an adder.”
“I beg your pardon,” I interjected.
Tabs looked over her shoulder at me with a lazy flick of her eyes, still put out with me for the lecture I’d given her for intruding on Anna this morning. “What is it?” She feigned ignorance.
I cleared my throat, trying to regain some control of this strange outing. “Should there be an adder, or even a dead fish, we should steer clear of it and focus on the purpose of our day, which is to show Miss Lane Brighton’s beauty.”
“What isn’t beautiful about an adder?” Tabs argued. “They are colorful and sleek and move so gracefully. Don’t they, Anna?”
“Miss Lane,” I corrected her.
Tabs rolled her eyes at me from a half-hearted turn of her head. “I have permission, obviously, brother.”
Anna squeezed Tabs’s hand and laughed her musical laugh. “You do indeed. And I agree. How can you truly know a place without seeing its creations firsthand? If we come upon an adder, we shall certainly examine it.”
I leaned my head back to stare at the heavens. If God took me now, it would be a mercy.
I drew in a slow, steadying breath. We were nearly to the cutoff where we’d start a careful descent of a hidden pathway that led to the most private, unadulterated view of Brighton’s coast. There would be no fishermen here, no bathers, no tourists idly walking by. If it was privacy Anna truly sought, she’d find it here. Only those of us who’d lived here for more than a year knew of this place, and we kept it a closely held secret.
Anna looked over the tall, yellowing grass at the wide sea stretching out to the horizon. Was she impressed by the view? Was she impressed by anything? As someone who never lifted a finger, who was granted anything her heart desired without a second thought, would she truly appreciate so simple an afternoon?
I’d sent our servants ahead with blankets, food, and a few parasols should the sun continue to be as unyielding as it now was. I had given thought to every detail, granted every wish. I could only hope it was enough.
“Do you play the harp?” Anna asked Tabs.
“Oh, no. Not yet. It is so dreadfully tedious.”
“You should consider learning while you are young. That way, when you are your sister’s age, you will have talents to display. The harp is a very respectable instrument, and I daresay when you are older, you’ll be grateful for a skill to use when times get truly boring.”
Tabs looked down at her feet. She was likely bored right now. Perhaps if Tabs showed an interest in playing the harp, we could hire out. After this investment was secured.
“Oh, look, the gulls are sunning!” Tabs tugged Anna to the right, pulling her through tall grass to the edge of a hill toward the sea.
Anna drew in an audible breath but followed. The two of them peered down at the rock-covered beach where a dozen or so gulls were resting on boulders. Our servants were a few paces beyond with everything set up just as I’d asked.
“Come, Anna, we are nearly there!” Tabs said.
“Wait a moment,” I called. “I shall go first and help you both down.”
“We are able!” Tabs called as they rushed forward. I shouldn’t have let them, but Anna was grinning. Something about the sea air was working within her. For now, I’d be grateful, but we’d only been gone a half hour. How much longer could Tabs continue without a fuss?
Anna had stopped at the top of the descent, though Tabs was already halfway down.
“May I assist you, Miss Lane?” I asked as I approached. It would be awkward, taking her hand and supporting her down, but I’d do it.
“No,” she replied firmly. “I can manage.”
By the looks of her hesitation, I doubted it. “I am happy to help, if you’ll just take my hand.” I stepped ahead of her, securing my footing on rocks that were half buried.
“I said no, thank you. Walk ahead.” Her lips were pursed, eyes focused on the ground.
I waited for her to move, but she seemed to be taking half steps or less at a time. She would surely fall without proper support. My jaw clenched. Why was she always so obstinate? So unconventionally persistent. Did she act this way with everyone, or was I alone allowed that singular pleasure? More likely than not, she thought I was not good enough to aid her. I had no doubt she thought me lower than a servant.
I watched her take another cautious half step, but just as her foot came down, the dirt shifted, and she started to slip. Her hands flung out, mouth opening wide in surprise.
My senses seized, breath stopping in my throat, and I reached out. I nearly grabbed her, until she found her footing on a dried patch of grass between rocks.
“Take my arm,” I commanded. Anxiety trailed through my veins, pumping into my chest. If something happened to her, I was a dead man. Mr. Lane would never forgive me. “I shall help you down.”
But the blasted woman stepped around me; this time, somehow, surer of herself. “I have it,” she said through her own flexed jaw.
I kept both hands out, ready to grab her, to catch her if she fell either way, only taking a breath when she finally reached the bottom of the hill. But even then, we were still several paces away from the picnic spot my servants had laid, and this was no sandy beach. Brighton was all unforgiving rocks that shifted as you walked. In boots, I could manage, but even I had miscalculated and slipped once or twice.
Anna took a few steps to feel it all out, and I could see the determined frustration in her countenance. She would roll her ankle before allowing my assistance, and even then I wondered if she’d prefer the pain to a moment of my attention.
Tabs had already settled on the blanket ahead with a crumpet in hand. She waved to Anna. “Come, sit, Anna! There are crumpets! And jam!”
“Won-wonderful,” Anna called back. Then, “I would have appreciated wearing boots, Mr. Everett.”
She was right, but I had to pick my battles with her. Shoes were not on the top of the list at present. “Yes—well, you look so lovely this afternoon, I cannot say I have given notice to your shoes. I shall have to beg your forgiveness.”
The words were bile in my throat. I did not mean them. She did look beautiful, of course; she always did. But if I were to compliment a lady, I would never be so disgustingly obvious as that.
She seemed to know it, but, like always, she refrained from calling me out. That was not how proper society did things. All that mattered was one’s intentions, or their supposed intentions. Which was how Anna and I had become so good at pretense with one another.
She muttered something under her breath, and my lips itched to smile.
I added, “And might I comment on the view. The day is so brilliantly sunny, if you look hard enough, you might be able to make out the coast of France.”
“Indeed?” She shaded her eyes with her hand, then dropped it and stood still, peering out with critical focus for a moment longer. “I think you are toying with me.”
“I would not dare, Miss Lane.”
She crossed her arms, still staring hard in the distance, then Tabs called, “Anna, I’ve a spot just for you!”
I knew better than to ask if she’d saved one for me. But I followed anyway.
Anna sat down beside Tabs, facing the shore, and took a crumpet from the basket between them. She placed it on a plate, then spooned out a little raspberry jam from a jar. “This smells heavenly,” she said.
I took the opposite side of the blanket, sitting a healthy space apart from them.
“It’s my favorite,” Tabs said with a grin. Her two front teeth had come in with a wide gap between them that I hoped would never close, for it was very decidedly Tabs. She had a speckling of auburn freckles across her cheeks and over her nose. Seeing her wild curls so tame did something paternal to my heart that made my throat tighten. I’d been at school when she was born and missed her first few years of life. Now, every time I returned home from a business trip, she’d grown an inch.
“What do you think of the shore, Anna?” her little voice asked. For all the rotten things she’d done, especially the surprise she’d pulled on Anna this morning, I could forgive her anything when she spoke so sweetly. Especially because she asked the very question I wanted Anna to answer.
“It’s different,” Anna said, dapping a napkin at the crumbs on her lips. “Much rockier than I anticipated.”
“It’s better if you remove your shoes and stockings,” Tabs insisted, pulling her foot up and tugging at her shoe.
Blast. Here she goes. “No, Tabs. Let’s not today,” I said. Heat tinged my ears, and I hated it. I hated that Anna had forced this on us. Tabs did not understand the impropriety of the situation, nor would she easily be swayed against it, and I would look like a fool trying to stop her.
“But we always do,” she whined, continuing to take off one shoe, then the other.
“We have a guest. Let’s not today,” I repeated more firmly.
Anna reached for another crumpet, likely trying to give us a moment to find peace. These were the times when I realized that Tabs dearly needed a father, which was a role, as her brother, I could never adequately fill for her.
She was resolved. Stockings removed, she shifted to her knees, scowling. “I shall be quick, Graham. I want to show Anna how easy it is to walk with bare feet.”
I leaned toward her and said in a voice I hoped was both quiet and gentle, “Tabs, this is improper. Please sit back down, or I shall have the servants take you home. Miss Lane does not wish for such familiarity.”
“I’m sorry?” Anna sat up straighter and set aside her plate. “I doubt you have any idea what I wish, Mr. Everett.”
Tabs’s scowl eased. She looked Anna up and down, then mimicked her raised brow and crossed arms before facing me again. “Yes, indeed.”
Ugly, impolite words hovered on the tip of my tongue that I wished I could let free. Because of course, just to spite me, Anna Lane had to oppose me. She had to get her way.
“You—” I started, but my voice was too cross. Keep her happy, Mr. Lane had said. I stretched out my neck, drawing in one calming breath, then tried again. “Of course, Miss Lane.” I waved a hand, dismissing my hold over the situation, my pride, my opinions, everything disagreeable. “Whatever you wish.”
Anna turned to Tabs. “I should love to watch you explore the shore. After I finish my crumpet and cake, perhaps I shall join you, and you can show me all that you have found.”
Tabs practically glowed. “You’ll join me?”
“In a bit, yes,” Anna said with a laugh.
“Watch me,” Tabs said as she stepped out on the rocks toward the shore. “You just have to have good balance.”
“I see that,” Anna called. “You are very, very good.”
I settled back down, working hard to calm my frustrations. What did Anna Lane know about hardship? I was on my own here, taking care of an entire family, trying to parent my littlest, wildest sister, and she thought a day out would solve Tabs’s blatant disregard for propriety?
Oh, how I wished I could loose my tongue and tell her exactly how wrong she was.
One day.
With each deep breath, I remembered my goal: Business first.