Chapter Twelve
Chapter Twelve
Anna
That scoundrel. He’d actually dropped me!
I struggled to catch my breath, seized by chills and shivers as I strode toward Tabs. My mind raced in a million different directions. Graham holding me. Tabs shrieking in joy. The way he’d lifted me up, and how I’d so easily wrapped my arms around his neck. How warm his chest was. His neck. He’d smelled of oat soap and leather and the slightest hint of tobacco. I’d wanted to stay right there.
We could have been friends.
But then he’d gone and dropped me.
My legs were numb from the cold sea, but the rest of me was on fire. Angry at him for actuallythrowing me in, but also some level of embarrassment that I’d let my guard down for the slightest moment. I’d let him carry me. And I hadn’t hated it.
I kept walking forward, though every instinct in me wanted to glance over my shoulder at Graham. He was too sharp around the edges for that sort of fun. Too rigid and set upon formality. While I appreciated rules, I did not feel the obligation to live by them wholly, especially when away from Society’s eye. But he did.
Didn’t he?
Hands trembling, I bunched up my skirts, squeezing out the water that had soaked the fabric from my waist down to the hem.
“You got away so easily,” Tabs said, crouching down to help me wring out my skirts. “He should’ve walked you out farther. He threw me out in the deep once, and I had to swim back.”
Little traitor. I fought a laugh, attempting a serious frown. “You betrayed me.”
“But you got him back good! Just look at him. Completely drenched.”
Graham, drenched? I swung around to find him sopping wet, cravat removed, waistcoat undone, stepping out of the water. He brushed a wet hand through his hair like some battle-worn hero who’d just swum miles to shore from a shipwreck. Then he twisted a handful of his shirt to wring out the sea, exposing his glistening chest and a lean length of his stomach.
Good ... heavens.
“Well done,” Tabs said, and I spun back to her. “He shall have to sun all afternoon.”
I swallowed hard, squeezing my eyes shut for no good reason at all. “I hope your servants brought towels.” A lot of them. Several to cover up Graham’s legs and arms and chest and face.
Why had I sought out anything that might change our formal relationship? He was so good at irritating me. Making him admit what I’d imagined all along, that our dislike was mutual, that he played just as hard as I did to keep it a secret, to test the lines we’d drawn for each other, was less satisfying than I’d hoped.
Because now I was forced to look at him in a new way, from a new angle. To admit that there was more to Graham than a thirst for money. He was a person with secrets, just like I was. He laughed and had opinions and played with his little sister.
“Come, let us dry off in the sun.” Tabs handed me my hat. “This is always my favorite part. More food, watching the sea. T’so much better than lessons at home.”
The servants seemed to have expected as much, having laid out towels and a new spread of queen cakes and fruits, which drew Tabs like a fly. I dried off my legs and skirt as best I could, then arranged myself on the blanket beside her, accepting a plate of sweets and a cup of lemonade from a servant.
Down several paces from where we’d wandered, we again faced the sea, warmed by the sunshine. I took a small bite of my queen cake.
“A towel, please,” Graham said from somewhere behind me, and my nerves seized. A quick glance assured me he’d covered his upper half, thank the heavens.
“Thank you,” he said to his servant. His voice sounded the same, but for some reason, hearing it made me feel different inside. Nervous. Anxious. Like something was both gnawing at my insides and tickling my skin.
Our relentless bickering and underhanded politeness, even his feigned flattery, had never seemed more comfortable nor more welcome than now. Could we just pretend this afternoon hadn’t happened and go back to the way things had been?
I took a sip of lemonade, then set my cup down upon my plate. How early, exactly, could I say I was ready to depart? But even then, if we went home, to his home, would we sit in the drawing room all afternoon?
I listened to the rustling of his hands and towel, the shifting of rocks beneath his feet, all mingled with the rushing of the sea and the birds overhead and the pounding of my heart in my ears.
“Blanket?” he asked, and I finally looked up. His cheeks were flushed, full lips parted, and his eyes seemed to study every inch of my face. Like I’d changed too. He held a soft, red blanket in his outstretched hand.
I swallowed and cleared my throat. “Thank you.”
Instead of handing it to me, he unfolded it, then laid it over my lap. Tabs whined, and he chuckled, taking another blanket and doing the same for her.
With a queen cake in hand, he laid out his towel beside us and sat down, resting his elbows on his knees. We sat in silence for a time, while Tabs, full and lazy, sprawled out on her belly and picked at the rocks in front of her.
“I’d say something about the view, but we both know how well my last attempt was received,” Graham said.
I cast him a sideways glance. He was baiting me. More straightforward than usual, but still, that comfortable bitterness. So I gave it right back to him. “Tabs, darling, your brother is annoying me. What can I do to silence him?”
Graham grinned down at his cake, sending a prickling sensation all through me.
Tabs rolled to her back, stretched out, and rested her head on my leg. I startled at first, unsure what to do. Should I rest my hands at my sides, or place them on her back? The breeze blew a strand of her curly blonde hair in her face, so I tucked it behind her ear. She smiled, so I smoothed the rest.
I caught Graham’s gaze, which was solemn and serious, just before he looked away.
Tabs yawned. “Tell him you think he’s handsome and you’d like to marry him. That should send him running back to his study.”
I blanched, my breath stopping altogether, and Graham must have swallowed a bite of fruit at that precise moment, for he choked, then coughed in a fit.
At least we both agreed on that point. “There, there, Graham. You’re more likely to win a thousand pounds in speculation than ever hear those words from me.”
“I wasn’t”—he coughed again, voice hoarse—“Tabitha, you cannot say things like that.”
I shrugged. “I did ask for her advice. And judging by your reaction, she’s excellent at giving it.”
Graham looked over at me, cheeks flushed, but eyes all business. “All right, then. Tabs, how can I convince Anna to love Brighton enough to allow her father to invest?”
I shook my head, unsurprised by his persistence, and snatched up my cake for a hearty bite.
Tabs grabbed my free hand and placed it back atop her head in motions that insisted I continue to smooth her hair. “Have you asked her nicely?”
“Yes,” Graham said.
“You have not!” I exclaimed through a mouthful of cake.
Graham handed me a napkin, amused, and turned his voice to honey. “Please, Anna, will you love Brighton and allow your father to invest with me?”
Allow my father to give all his time and attention to Graham when I needed him most? With Mr. Lennox and gossip abounding? As soon as word spread that I’d been duped by a man already engaged, that I’d been second best, I’d never be taken seriously by a worthy suitor ever again. I’d be pitied and gawked at. Allow my father to invest with him? “No.”
He threw his hands up. “Did you not enjoy today? I gave you exactly what you wanted.”
“You threw me in the sea!”
“You practically dared me.”
“And I shall be writing all about it in my notebook.”
“Wonderful,” he muttered to my delight.
We were silent for a bit, save for the sea. Then he turned to face me. “I am not ignorant, Anna. So I know you’ve already made your decision. But if I have to beg, I will. I need this investment. What can I do to change your mind?”
Tabs’s eyes closed, and I sighed. “Graham, can’t we talk of this later?”
“All I’m asking for is a chance.”
“I told you. I will do my best—”
“A fair chance. Sitting on a beach all week is not Brighton. Let me take the reins. Let me give you a real tour, a real Brighton experience. Then you can make a real decision based on your impression of this place, not your opinion of me.”
“Don’t forget to say please,” Tabs added sleepily.
Graham smirked, then tilted his head. “Please.”
He hadn’t been horrible today. But an investment of this magnitude would require meetings, decisions, more time apart from Papa. I might as well be asking him into our family for the next decade with how focused Papa’s attention would be on him. And I needed Papa beside me now most of all after Mr. Lennox’s deceptions.
Panic stuttered my heart into motion, wrapping around my throat with a strong hand. I imagined news had already started to spread. How long would it take to reach Brighton? If I handed Graham this investment, how could I be certain I would ever have Papa’s attention again?
Unless ...
I thought for a moment. “Say I do give you a real chance ...”
Graham straightened, eyes alight. “I’ll make this trip unforgettable. Exciting. I won’t ask you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”
I nodded once. “Then will you swear, after I’ve followed you along all week, that no matter what I decide, you’ll leave my father alone after this venture? No more investments. No more random evening calls.”
He drew back, brows furrowed, frowning. “You speak as though I am some unwanted horsefly. Your father and I are friends.”
Friends? My father was twice his age. I started to laugh. “Honestly, Graham—”
“Honestly, Anna.” He was serious. Offended. “I count your father in the highest regard. Indeed, he may be the only person alive I confide in fully. Investments aside, I will not forsake a friend who has become essential in my life just because his daughter throws a fit.”
My lips parted, and I drew back, armed with the most hateful retort on my tongue.
But I stopped short, surprised to see Graham’s jaw set, his face reddening and a boyish pain shadowing his features. Like I’d wounded him somewhere deep where few people could reach. Tabs stirred in her sleep, and I placed a hand on her shoulder. “It would appear youare the one throwing a fit at present,” I muttered instead.
He cleared his throat, rubbing a hand over his face as though he could wipe away his feelings. Facing the sea, he said, “So it isn’t Brighton, then. It’s me. You don’t want your father to invest with me.”
“I don’t want my father to invest his time with anyone.” Anyone but me.
Graham’s gaze fixed on Tabs. He watched her, then picked up a small rock and smoothed it over with his thumb. His voice came out serious, low. “Will this agreement eventually terminate? Say, upon your marriage?”
I considered his offer, imagining myself a lonely spinster, too weakened and embittered by gossip to try her hand at love again. I couldn’t let Mr. Lennox be the end of me. I would rise above this embarrassment. “As long as it takes.”
“You are asking me to abandon a close friend for the mere possibility at an investment that I dearly need. You hate me that much?” Graham’s eyes flicked to mine with a vulnerability I’d yet to see in him. He wanted to know, but he also didn’t.
I leaned in. “Do you know who escorted me through half the Season while my father was away in Bath with you?”
His brows furrowed.
“My great-aunt Agnes. We left every ballroom early. I took callers while she dozed in the corner. I had to send regrets to dinner parties when she took ill.”
“She sounds like every young woman’s dream.”
“Oh, I enjoyed myself.” I smiled. “But I assure you, all the finest gentlemen were taken halfway through the Season, and I did not appreciate that fact until it was too late.”
Graham sighed, rolling his shoulders like I’d placed a new weight upon them. Guilt tugged at my heart, but his friendship with my father was not permanent. One day, he’d marry, have children, and build a life full enough that he’d forget about my father and our little corner in London. He had no blood ties to us. Only forced ones that could be clipped with no lasting damage.
“If this is your condition, then I agree,” he said quietly, and my heart flew into my throat. I’d won. My goodness, had I just won? “But,” he continued, “you will allow me to read your notes before you give them to your father, so I can feel certain that you did the work you promised you’d do.”
“You might not like what I’ve had to say so far,” I said dryly. But what did I have to hide? I’d written with my father in mind, using a professional, factual tone with only the barest hints of gossip.
Well, perhaps there were a few notes I wasn’t proud of.
“After three years with you, Anna, I am certain I can handle it. Can we agree?”
I shrugged. Why not? One week more, and either way I had what I needed. “Very well, then. We’ve a deal.”
Graham nodded, swallowing hard. His mood was more somber than ever. “Wonderful.”