Chapter 12
“Yeah, you keep saying that, but why?” she snaps.
Even the snap in her voice gets to me. When she’s angry, her deep brown eyes smolder. Her voice gets low, and there’s a growl to it that makes me want to grab her for a kiss. The angrier I make her, the more she reacts, and the more she reacts, the more I want her.
It’s a vicious cycle. How can I explain this to her succinctly?
“The answer remains the same. I’m here for you, June.”
“Liar!”
It’s my own fault that she hates me. I am self-aware enough to know that. I had tormented her for years, and though she always gave as good as she got, it left a mark. Clearly. Otherwise, she wouldn’t spit venom at me with every word coming out of her perfect mouth.
“If I could wring the neck of my teenaged self for what he did to you, I would?—”
“Don’t do me any favors.”
“I mean it.”
She rolls her eyes and glances away. “And don’t talk about your teenaged self like it’s someone else. You’re one and the same. You’re still the boy who tried to make me hate myself.”
“I never wanted that?—
“Then why did you treat me like garbage?” she snarls when she whips her head around.
Because I was a foolish boy who liked you and didn’t know how to handle it. “Because I was a stereotypical rich kid who was an asshole to everyone.”
She studies me for a moment. The snarl is gone from her voice, replaced by ice. “You and I are little more than strangers, Anderson. So, if you lie to me, so be it. But don’t lie to yourself, too.”
“I am being honest.”
“Not even close. If you think you were an asshole to everyone, then you’re wrong.” June Devlin has not only grown more beautiful over the years but also more baffling.
“Being an expert on myself, I must say you’ve read me wrong. I made it my mission to be an asshole to everyone at school. I’m surprised you don’t remember that. You, of all people, should.”
She stares into my eyes and says, “Kalen Black.”
How does she even know about that? I force myself not to react. “What’s that? A new Porsche color?”
“Don’t. Don’t play the role of the rich playboy with me. I know about what you did for Kalen. How you found out about his family being unable to pay for his tuition, how you got your father to secretly pay for it, and how your father made you work the entire summer after graduation to repay him, all so Kalen could graduate on time. You missed an extravagant trip to Paris with your snooty friends because of working for your dad that summer.” She knows everything. But how?
I mumble, “Not just Paris. Athens and Rome, too.”
“So telling me you were just some cliched, asshole, rich kid is a lie. Telling yourself that story is delusional.”
“How do you even know about all that?”
She flashes a wicked smile, and god, the curve of her lips sends a throb through me that is hard to deny. June slyly says, “I might be poor compared to you, but I still have my resources.”
It helps that the sheet clings to her breasts like custom lingerie. Her smirk, her tits, knowing she’s naked under there, it’s all enough to make me hard. I shift in my seat to relieve the pressure, but it doesn’t work, so I get up and pace with my back to her. Can’t let her see how much she affects me. “You shouldn’t know this. Kalen doesn’t even know who did it.”
“No. He doesn’t. I never told him.”
“So—”
“Since I’ve proved you weren’t the self-centered asshole you pretended to be, tell me the truth for once in your life, Anderson. Why were you cruel to me?”
I can’t do that. The thought of telling her the truth makes my erection die. If I tell her, then she holds all the cards in this, and I am not one to give someone else the upper hand. Ever. So, I face her and shrug. “Why not?”
Her face twists into something like rage given human form. “Why not? That’s all it took for you to make my life a living hell? A whim?”
“Can’t we just chalk it up to me being an asshole kid who didn’t understand what he was doing at the time?” Because I sure as hell didn’t. Not really.
“No! You knew exactly what you were doing!”
“Truly, I did not. I was fifteen! How could I have known how much this would haunt you?—”
“We were surrounded by anti-bullying PSAs! It was everywhere in school! You weren’t as smart as me, but you were smart enough to read the signs!” As she shouts, her breasts heave with every word, and I know I was trying to make a point a minute ago, but damn if I can remember it. She snaps her fingers. “Are you even in there?”
“Uh, yeah. Look?—”
“No, you look. Tell me why you helped Kalen.”
“We’re back on that?”
She stares up at me. “I’m waiting.”
Another uncomfortable memory. “He didn’t deserve not to graduate on time. Our private school was small. It didn’t feel right for the rest of us to graduate without him. He was a good kid, and he worked hard. Just needed a break.”
“He wasn’t your friend. You didn’t know him. So, I ask again. Why?”
“Exactly what I just said.”
“You did a good deed that cost you something important to you, strictly because you could. That’s what you’re saying?”
I gulp and shrug. “Yeah.”
“Then explain to me why he got your mercy, and I got your torture from the moment I met you. The first thing you ever said to me was, ‘Nice shirt. Does it come in women’s?’ How come Kalen got this other side of you when I didn’t?” Her voice cracks, but she holds it together to add the stinger, “Was I just that special?”
I want to say yes, in every way imaginable.
But she’s close to something she doesn’t want to do, and I will stop her from it. June would hate herself forever if she cried in front of me. She has too much pride for that. I have to redirect her, and the fastest way to do that is to be the arrogant asshole she thinks I am.
But just in case she needs to wipe a tear, I turn my back to her again. I slip off my tuxedo coat and drape it over the back of the desk chair long enough for her to straighten herself up, and tell her, “I tormented you and became your nightmare fuel. I made you hate school, hate life, too, I’m sure. With a single sentence, I ruined every moment between us. But for me, it was … any other day.” I give a half shrug as I turn to her. “You weren’t special, June. You were just another target.”
Her tears have cleared. The rage is back. Good. She can hate me as much as she wants. She always has. But at least she won’t hate herself in the morning.
“You’re lying again.”
“I am not?—”
“Yes, you are.”
“This conversation will get us nowhere fast.”
She huffs a laugh. “We weren’t going anywhere, anyway.”
A shameful fact. I shouldn’t be trading barbs with her or dodging questions. I should be seducing her. Isn’t that the point of all this? But I can’t do that. She’s not just some woman to seduce and disregard. She’s June. The girl I crushed on for years. The woman I wanted in college. How could I just fuck her and leave her behind like all the rest?
So, I muster an excuse to keep her here. “Are you hungry?”
“What?”
“We’re not going anywhere, as you pointed out, and I’m famished. Everything is included in your asking price, so it’s on me, so to speak.” I smirk at her. “Let me buy you breakfast.”
She laughs once, incredulously. “This has got to be the weirdest prank you have ever pulled.”
“What?”
“Why do you think I brought up the stuff with Kalen? Besides proving my point that you actually knew what you were doing back then, I wanted to get it out there, in case this is all being broadcast online.”
I grin. Can’t help it. “Clever girl.”
“So, it is?—”
“No. I’m just impressed that you thought to do that. Telling the one thing that could have ruined my reputation as the class jerk … well done. But this isn’t being broadcast, and it’s not some over-the-top, elaborate hoax to embarrass you, June. This is just a night brought on by strange coincidences.”
I want to ask how she afforded the ticket to the fundraiser in the first place. It’s very exclusive, and obviously, she didn’t bring a date or she wouldn’t be here with me now. But if I ask anything about money, she’ll get even more pissed off, and not the good kind.
“So, breakfast?”
“Sure. I could eat.” But her brow furrows in suspicion.
That’s fine. I can work with suspicion. I call down and order whatever normal people eat for breakfast. June doesn’t seem the type to enjoy my usual protein shake and power bar combo for breakfast. Especially when she adds, “And French toast, too.”
“You got it.” I add that, two bottles of champagne, and hang up, content that she’ll at least stay for breakfast.
“Did you order all of that to see me stuff myself?”
I laugh and shake my head. “I ordered all of that because I like variety.”
“Yeah, I bet. You look like you’ve never tasted bacon in your life. No wonder you were such a miserable asshole in school.”
Her snarky side makes me smile. “I do, in fact, enjoy bacon on occasion, but usually on a burger. Not for breakfast.”
“A burger? I thought that was peasant food. That’s what you told me when I got one in the cafeteria.”
“Your memory is impressive. You ever think of going on a game show or something?”
She laughs. “I cannot believe I’m sitting here and talking to you. While I’m naked.”
“You’re not naked. You’re in a sheet. It’s practically a dress.” I shrug.
“It’s white, and I am aware of how thin the material is, Anderson.”
“So am I.”
Her cheeks flush pink, and I memorize the color. It’s as close as I’ll ever get to seeing her naked for real. There’s no way she’d ever … but the look in her eyes says something else. An unspoken tension builds frisson in the air, and I am dying to make a move. Just then, someone knocks, shattering the moment.
“I’ll get that.” Turning the lights up a little, I reach for the door.
“You better. I’m not leaving this bed this naked.”
Not yet. I roll the food cart from the hall into the room. No sense in embarrassing her further by letting the attendant bring it in. By the time I look up, she’s tucked the sheet in on itself around her body.
Should I tell her to get dressed? If I do that, she might think I’m not interested in getting what I paid for, which is not, strictly speaking, the truth. But I’d rather earn sex with June, not just pay for it. Hell, I’d give her the money if she asked for it. A small price to pay for what I’d done to her.
Am I a lech for keeping her scantily clad? Meh. I’ve been called worse. By her. So, instead of offering her clothes, I make her a plate, then one for myself, and sit on the bed bedside her to eat.
“What made you come to Boston U? You could have gone anywhere, Anderson. You had the grades, the money. Why there?”
Because you were there. “Because my father wanted another Harvard man in the family, and at the time, I lived to disappoint him.”
She laughs, and it might be the first time I’ve ever earned a genuine laugh from her. It’s nice. Especially because it makes the sheet slip a little. So, I pour her some champagne to keep her laughing.