Chapter 18
Chapter
Eighteen
Jamie. As Lindsey
made her way down the darkened hail, her heart sang with the
knowledge. It was not the queen who had arranged for her family’s
visit; it was Jamie. Sensing her anguish, he had done the one thing
that would set her mind at ease.
Why was she surprised by his unexpected
kindness? And so touched by it? It was like him to do such a thing.
There was a goodness in him, a kindness that belied his fearsome
appearance and his reputation for heartlessness. Perhaps that was
why she loved him so.
She stopped dead in her tracks. Loved him?
Could it be? Her eyes filled with tears and she wiped at them
furiously.
She must be more weary than she thought. Aye.
There could be no other reason for the sudden rush of foolish
emotion. She found herself weeping again.
She was not being foolish, she thought with
sudden insight. She loved Jamie MacDonald. Aye, truly loved
him.
Though she did not know how or when it had
happened, she knew it was so. She knew it when she had awakened to
find him by her side, offering her comfort. She knew it when he
kissed her and the icy fear around her heart melted. A fear that
she had carried for all those long years. She knew it when she
looked into the handsome face of Ian MacPherson and felt nothing.
No other man would ever tempt her. No man except Jamie
MacDonald.
Love. The thought terrified her. It altered
everything. What could she do about this strange new situation? How
could she possibly go on sharing a suite of rooms with a man and
pretend she did not have these feelings? How could she calmly sit
across the room from him and not blurt out the words?
Her footsteps quickened. The lilt of laughter
bubbled to her lips. She had to see him. This very instant. She
needed to see if he would look—different somehow.
At their sitting chamber she threw open the
door and strode inside. She experienced fleeting disappointment
when the room was empty. Without thought to what she was doing, she
bounded across the room to the door of Jamie’s sleeping chamber.
With a quick knock she flung the door wide and stepped inside.
Jamie had removed his tunic and shirt. He
stood on the balcony, his thoughts as dark as the waters of the
loch far below.
He was aware of the devious game that Ian
MacPherson was playing. But he could not be a party to it.
MacPherson was aware that he cut a fine figure. And he was very
good at pretty words and lingering looks that were meant to set a
maiden’s heart all aflutter.
Jamie’s hand clenched around the stem of his
goblet. If such things impressed Lindsey, then there was nothing to
be done about it but to turn away. And whatever grief he felt, no
one would be the wiser. At least he had not made a fool of himself
by declaring his love.
When his door was thrown open, he turned. For
long moments he could not believe his eyes. The object of his
tortured thoughts stood before him, smiling as if she had just
learned a great secret.
Now what was she up to?
Lindsey came rushing into Jamie’s sleeping
chamber, then skidded to an abrupt halt. Her eyes widened. What had
she been thinking of? From her position by the doorway, she could
see that he had prepared himself for sleep. He was in a state of
undress. Moonlight streamed through the balcony window, casting him
in mysterious silvery light and darkened shadow. As always, he was
scowling at her.
She suddenly felt shy and awkward.
“Forgive me, my lord. I...” Her brain seemed
to have gone numb. She could think of no plausible reason for such
uncivilized behavior. “I was told by the queen that you were
responsible for bringing my father and brothers here to Lochleven.
I wanted to thank you.”
“You are most welcome.”
“I had thought to wait until the morrow to
offer my thanks, but my heart was too joyous to wait that long. I
had to thank you now, before I retired for the night. Else, I could
never sleep.” She was babbling, she knew, but she could not seem to
stop herself. She had a terrible need to fill the silence with
silly prattle.
He said nothing. He merely stared at her with
that strange, haunted look.
“Well, I—” she twisted her hands nervously
and turned toward the door “—am keeping you from your sleep, my
lord.”
“Nay.” He quickly crossed the room and placed
a hand on her sleeve to stay her departure. “I am not tired, my
lady. I was merely looking over the grounds of Lochleven and
thinking of the Highlands.”
She felt his hand, warm upon her arm, and her
heartbeat quickened.
“Do you miss the Highlands?”
“Aye.”
“As do I.”
“You?” He smiled suddenly, erasing the frown
that until then had her paralyzed with fear. “After planning and
scheming to journey to Edinburgh, you miss the Highlands?”
“Aye.” She looked away, unable to bear the
fact that he was laughing at her How could he be so cruel, when her
heart was brimming with such love? “My heart will always lie in the
Highlands.”
“As will mine.”
She swallowed. There was nothing more to
say.
As if sensing her uneasiness, he broke the
silence. “Will you have some ale, my lady?”
Before she could respond he crossed to a
sideboard and filled a goblet. Handing it to her he said, “We will
drink to the safe arrival of your family.”
“Aye.” She gave him a warm smile before
lifting the goblet to her lips. The ale heated her blood. She took
another sip.
“Did your father approve of his rooms?”
Lindsey shrugged. “I do not know. When I
realized that I had forgotten to thank the queen, I left the others
and went to her chambers. It was she who told me of your
kindness.”
He felt a lightness around his heart. She had
not gone with Ian MacPherson to his suite of rooms. Had gone, in
fact, no farther than the queen’s chambers. There would have been
no time for MacPherson to steal a kiss.
He caught her hand and led her to the
balcony. She was so happy just to feel his touch upon her, she
followed with a light heart.
On the gentle breeze was the tang of the
river and the perfumed fragrance of spring flowers.
“It is pleasant to watch the loch by
moonlight.” He suddenly pointed. “Look. There.”
Lindsey followed his direction and saw a
shooting star making its glittering path across the velvet sky.
“It is said to bring anything you wish for,”
she murmured fervently.
She closed her eyes for a moment and Jamie
had to fight the urge to haul her into his arms and kiss her until
she was breathless.
He leaned a hip against the balcony and
studied her. Light from the moon bathed her in a golden halo. On
the breeze her hair was a silken veil, glinting with sparks of
fire. Her eyes reflected the starlight, glittering like emeralds.
There was a luminous quality about her this night that he had never
noticed before.
He had gone quiet again. When he was like
this, Lindsey could think of nothing to say.
“Why do you stare at me like that, my
lord?”
Very deliberately he set down his goblet and
took a step toward her. As he did, she took a step back.
“I like looking at you, my lady. It pleases
me to look at you.”
She felt her cheeks flame and was grateful
for the night that would hide her blushing reaction to his
words.
He took another step toward her, but as she
backed away she felt the scrape of the cold stone against her
hips.
He took the goblet from her hands. Her heart
leaped to her throat.
“I fear, my lady,” he murmured as his hands
settled on her shoulders, “that I must kiss you... .” He dragged
her close. His eyes shone with a strange light. “Or go mad.”
His mouth closed over hers. Heat flowed
between them. Each felt the jolt. And each struggled to deny it.
This kiss was different from all that had gone before. This time
there was more than passion, or desire, or need. Now there was
knowledge and something more. Possession.
His lips moved over hers, seeking, giving.
His strong hands drew her closer, until she was pressed firmly to
his chest. Her heart thundered. As did his. She was suddenly
terrified of the feelings that tumbled through her. Feelings that
left her dazed and shaken. She wanted to go on kissing him like
this until dawn light streaked the sky. She wanted him to take her
higher, higher than she had ever been before. But she was
afraid.
Pushing herself free of his embrace she
whispered, “I must leave here at once.”
“Nay.” He caught her arm, but she shook off
his hand and nearly ran in her eagerness to escape. If she did not
flee, she would be lost. Lost to a passion that she did not yet
understand.
He watched as she sped across the room and
flounced out in a flurry of skirts and petticoats. For long minutes
he stared at the door that closed behind her.
He picked up his goblet, but his hand shook
so badly he spilled the ale. With a savage oath, he hurled the
goblet from the balcony. Seconds later he heard it shatter on the
courtyard below.
* * *
“Good morrow, my lady.”
Ian paused at the head of the stairs and
waited until Lindsey and Jamie joined him. Inwardly Lindsey
groaned. Outwardly she was poised and polite as she placed her hand
on his proffered arm. Jamie trailed behind them. The furrow between
his brows left no doubt as to his feelings.
“You are up early, my lady.”
“Aye.” Lindsey thought about the long hours
she had tossed and turned in her bed, her thoughts in turmoil.
Finally she had given up all attempts to sleep.
When they entered the refectory, Lindsey was
surprised to find her father and brothers already seated around the
queen and her husband.
“I had thought you would sleep late after
your journey,” she said as she took a seat beside Robbie.
Ian quickly took the seat to her other side,
forcing Jamie to take a place across from them.
“I could not sleep,” Neal admitted, “knowing
that today I will be privileged to groom and saddle the queen’s own
horse.”
“Aye. And Neal saw to it that I could not
sleep.” Robbie said with a laugh.