Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CALLIE
Gavin’s large, gloved hand closes over mine and gives it a firm shake. The deal is made, and there’s no going back now. Not that I need to. I’m totally going to win.
Violet might only be four, but she’s smart. This tree is symmetrical, healthy, and about as big as we’ll be able to fit in the living room, so it’s definitely our winner.
Gavin gives my hand a squeeze before dropping it. “Now, when I win, you’ll be telling me the complete bucket list.”
I think I got rid of that snowball a little prematurely.
“Good luck.” I give him my sweetest smile, then cup my hands around my mouth. “Oh, Violet! I found the perfect tree!”
“Callie, that’s cheating.”
“We never said anything about influencing her.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Game on.”
“Where?!” Violet’s little voice calls. She’s running madly through the trees, Ruby and Luna following at a more sedate pace. “Where is it?”
“Isn’t this one perfect?” I ask, infusing my voice with as much awe as possible. “It’s so large and green.”
She draws in a gasp of wonder.
“Not as large or green as that one,” Gavin says, pointing to the monstrous thing behind it. We’d have to cut at least four feet off the bottom to fit it through the door. Griswold family Christmas, anyone?
Violet hasn’t seen National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, though. She gasps in wonder.
“I think it’s a little large,” Ruby says, tilting her head. Her long ponytail falls over her shoulder.
“Way too big,” I agree.
“But I want it.” Violet tugs on her mom’s hand and jumps up and down in the snow. “Please, Mummy? Please! It’s the best tree. Rhys can carry it home.”
Rhys coughs in surprise. “I’m flattered you think I’m that strong, Vi, but it might be a bit much.”
She frowns.
“This one is so beautiful.” I Vanna White the heck out of the tree I chose, trying to make it look appealing to a kid who thought she was getting the moon and now has to settle for a block of cheese.
“I want that one.” She points at Gavin’s tree again.
He stands beside it and grins, thumbs hooked loosely in his coat pockets. “I don’t blame you.”
Luna looks from me to Gavin. “There’s no way you think this thing would fit in your house.”
“Irrelevant at present,” he says simply.
“Hm.”
She’s on to us.
Ruby tries to soothe her daughter. “Since that one won’t fit, you’ll have to choose a different one.”
“I don’t want to,” Violet whines.
Gavin steps around the group and comes to stand at my shoulder. He leans down so only I can hear him. “I win.”
Shivers run down my neck that have nothing to do with the frigid temps.
“I suppose Aunt Luna will have to choose a tree then, if you can’t.”
Violet’s tantrum comes to a quick stop and she swivels toward the trees. “I want to choose.”
“Keep looking, I guess?” Luna says, taking Rhys’s hand. They head off through the trees, so I start in the other direction.
Gavin comes with me. “Full bucket list, Callie. That’s what I want to know.”
“You’re sure? You have one question where I have to be entirely honest and you want to immediately waste it on that?”
He glances at me sideways. “I’m not certain if you’re trying to help me or throw me off.”
“We’re friends. Mates. Why would I do anything but help you?”
“Because you don’t want me to know the last thing on your bucket list.”
“First thing.”
“What?”
“It’s number one,” I say.
Gavin stops walking. The tree behind him is overladen with white snow that melts in the sun and drips occasionally, making the tree glittery. “That’s it. I want to know.”
“Final answer?”
“What is this, an American game show?”
“So yes?”
“Aye.”
A blush is already bleeding into my cheeks. I hope it blends into the rosiness I always get from the cold, that it won’t be obvious how embarrassed I am. But my neck feels hot, so I’m guessing my face is bright red too.
What other choice do I have but to tell him the truth now? He’s going to think I’m a floozy, but what’s new?
I kick a pinecone away with my numb toes. “It’s to kiss a Scottish man.”
Gavin stares at me. Did he not hear me? Was I speaking too quietly?
I clear my throat, ready to defend myself against his judginess, when he finally speaks. “Kiss a Scottish man.”
“Yes. It’s not that weird.” My defensive tone is so thick I’m practically throwing walls up between us.
“I’ve always kind of wondered if you guys kiss differently from Americans.
Luna says Brits kiss the best, but does she just think that because the only Brit she’s ever kissed is her husband?
I’ve kissed a lot of men…like, a lot. I feel more qualified to make a fair analysis. I’d be less partial than her.”
Gavin blinks, saying nothing.
More defense? Really? “It’s shallow, I know. But not everyone in this country is as stringent as you are. Some men would be perfectly happy to kiss me for the sake of science…I think.”
He coughs, which suspiciously sounds like he’s trying to cover a laugh. “Science?”
“Well, I’m testing a theory, aren’t I?”
Gavin nods slowly, his eyes never leaving my face. “Callie, there are many, many men in this country who would be perfectly happy to kiss you for the sake of science. Or any other flimsy reason you throw at them.”
I scoff, but my cheeks could probably cook an egg. “Flimsy?”
“If you want to kiss me, just say so.”
So he wants to go there, does he? “I thought my actions spoke for themselves.”
“Now you’re trying to tell me you only came on to me that night to mark something off your bucket list.”
I kick the snow with the toe of my boot. “It started out that way, yeah.”
“Started out?” Gavin doesn’t take his attention off me. “How has it changed?”
“Well, I lost the desire as soon as you told me I shouldn’t go around kissing every man I see.”
“I’m not sure I used those words exactly.”
“You’re right. It was something more to the effect of: don’t kiss any man unless he’s my boyfriend.”
“I don’t believe that, either.” Gavin’s voice has dropped to a low, husky tone that immediately snatches my attention.
My stomach flutters while the thud of my heart ricochets through my body. “Then what do you think?”
“Physical relationships mean more when there’s an emotional connection first.”
That’s literally a fact. I blink at him. There’s nothing to dispute there.
He licks his lips. “Kissing, for example, is much better after a relationship has been established. I don’t enjoy meaningless connections, and I don’t find value in them.”
Meaningless connections. I can’t even count how many of those I’ve had…but they weren’t all meaningless, to be fair. Can’t there be some value in the power of distraction…yeah, okay, I see it.
Gavin might be on to something here. Not that I’m going to let him know that.
“You’re entitled to your opinion,” I say.
“That doesn’t mean it’s easy to push away a beautiful woman when she’s smiling at me like that and clearly willing. You should be proud of my restraint, Callie.”
“Proud or annoyed? If you had less restraint, I could have marked something off my bucket list that night.” I don’t really feel that way, do I? The emotional connection he talked about? It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that with a man.
Maybe even…never? I was emotionally connected to my high school boyfriend, but he went to Stanford and we didn’t stay together after graduation.
He’s happily engaged now, and I’ve been over him for years.
But he was a boy. We were kids. That kind of connection with a man?
Yeah, I don’t know if I’ve ever had that.
“When do you know you’ve reached the point where you’ll kiss a woman?”
Gavin runs a hand over his chin. “There haven’t been many relationships in my life, Callie. Blair has taken up quite a few years, so I have little to go on. But I think when we reach the point of becoming mates, not just dates.”
Mates. He means friends. “I think we’re friends.”
“We are.”
“So really, I should’ve waited a week, hung out with you constantly, then tried to kiss you.”
“You would have been far more successful, aye,” he says huskily, his eyes never leaving mine.
Heat pools in my belly. I can’t tell if this is a signal or not.
But at this point, and with how long we still have to remain in the same house before I head back to California, there’s no way I’m going to subject myself to his rejection again.
Even if my chest is rising and falling like I ran a 5k and I can’t even hide that from him because of how my breath clouds in this cold.
Gavin leans closer, his breath mingling with mine.
His eyes fall to my lips, leaving me with no confusion about what he’s thinking about right now.
Which doesn’t mean he wants to, for the record.
Just that we’re talking so much about kissing that he’s thinking about it too.
What would it feel like to kiss Gavin Mackenzie?
Good, I bet. He’s tall and strong and intentional…yes, it would feel very intentional. My stomach tightens just thinking about it. And his eyes haven’t left my lips.
Is he actually considering kissing me? I don’t know if I want him to do that for a bucket list. If an emotional connection is that important to him, he shouldn’t sacrifice his ideals for me.
Honestly, I might agree with him…or want to agree with him…just a smidge.
But haven’t we formed an emotional attachment? I’d call him a friend. Maybe we’re not in love, but if he lived on the same continent as me, I would one-hundred percent want to pursue something with him. The ocean between us kind of gets in the way, though.
Despite all the reasonable thoughts I’m having, my heart is pounding like a jackhammer.
His attention is locked in. “Callie—”
“We found a tree!” Ruby calls, breaking the spell.
If we were in a movie, we would have sprung apart. Instead, he drops his head back and lets out a long breath.
“Coming!” I call back in the direction of her voice.
Gavin says nothing. When we make it back to the group, Violet is standing beneath the tree I’d originally selected, jumping up and down because she can’t contain her energy. “This one! We picked this one!”
“That tree is perfect!” I say. Does the girl know it’s the one I originally tried to steer her toward? Probably not, and I’m definitely not going to tell her. “You did such a great job.”
“Will Father Christmas like this tree, Mummy?”
“Of course he will. Now let’s stand back so Luna can chop it down.”
Rhys laughs and hands his wife the ax, which she takes with a wide grin. “I’ll need some help, but I’ll take the first few swings.”
She makes a good dent in the trunk before handing off the ax. Rhys notches the ax even deeper before glancing back at me. “Anyone else want a turn?”
“Me!” Violet yells.
“I wish you could, darling, but you have to be at least ten years old to hold the ax.”
Violet frowns.
Gavin lifts his hand. “I could take a few swings.”
Rhys passes off the ax, then steps out of the way. Gavin holds the handle like he knows precisely what he’s doing and takes a powerful swing. The crack of steel against wood splits through the air. Gavin hits it again, then again, before the tree falls.
“Wait!” Violet screams when the men move forward to pick up the tree. “I need to check for chipmunks.”
Luna glances at Ruby. “What?”
“We’ve been watching old Disney cartoons. Chip and Dale.”
“Got it.” Gavin steps out of the way while Violet looks through the branches for wayward animals.
I stroll to his side and lean close, a triumphant smile fighting its way onto my lips. “Guess I won too.”
“She was forced to choose it.”
“Still chose it.”
Gavin scowls. “Very well. What’s your question?”
I put my hands on my hips and grin up at him. “I think I’ll save it for later.”
“That’s not part of the game.”
I point at him. “We didn’t make that rule. It’s not my fault you wasted your question.”
“On the contrary, Callie.” He leans close, his eyes never leaving mine. “It wasn’t a waste at all.”